022424

Saturday February 24, 2024   

 

9:07am  Tita is reading our daily Until Today entry by Iyanla Vanzant.

I will know love when I realize...the fibers of a relationship are constructed from the fibers of my heart.

Are you relationship material?  The question is not Are You Looking for a Relationship?  Nor is it do you want a relationship?  The question is, ARE YOU A CLEAR EXAMPLE of the stuff a relationship is made of?

In order to be relationship material you must be able to open your heart to someone, and you must know what to do when they open their heart to you.  You must be absolutely okay with every little thing that you know to be true about you.  Now here's the kicker.  Once you see yourself, you must be willing to allow others to see you exactly as you are!  You must be able to stand before another person without fear, without excuses and with all your defenses down.  And if you cannot, you may not be relationship material.

If you are relationship material, you are trusting and trustworthy.  If you are relationship material, when your dark hour is upon you, there is a light switch inside of you that you know how to turn on.  By the same token, when your partner faces his/her own darkness, you are there.  You don't fall apart because he/she seems to be falling apart.  

In order to be relationship material, you must take a risk, tell the truth, trust that you will be heard.  You must lay down all defenses, expectations and judgements.  You must give without taking, grow without overshadowing, bend without feeling broken and know without doubt.  Most important of all, you must know exactly what you want and be willing to ask for it, knowing exactly what you are willing to do if you do not get it.  

Until today, you may not have realized what it takes to be relationship-ready.  Just for today, ask yourself questions in order to discover whether you are ready to have the relationship you are seeking.

Victor:  Let's do the one before, from the 23rd.

Let's lay our cards out on the table.  You have not always done your best.  You have not always lived up to your responsibilities or your own expectations.  There have been times when you have not SHOWN UP prepared to do what you needed to do.  Even though you really don't like to admit it, there are times when you feel inadequate, afraid of failing.  Is it not also true that to cover up for all of the things you have difficulty admitting about yourself, you hide behind a harsh, I-don't-give-a-damn veneer?  If you are able to admit any of these things about yourself, then we are on the right track!  

Let's take this one step further.  Would you say that there have been times when you have chosen to be less than honest in order to get what you want?  How do you respond when you get caught in a lie?  Would this mean that you have said and done things that still haunt you?  Have there been occasions when you have made promises that you knew at the time they were made you would not keep?  How did you get out of doing what you promised you would do?  Don't you hate to be wrong?  What do you do to keep others from knowing when you are?  How do you act our your anger?  How do you hide your fear?  How do you live with the fact that there are things you have not done because of fear or anger?  

Before you try and answer one or more of these inquiries there is something I want you to remember.  Love knows all about you.  Love cares.  Love understands and Love loves you anyway."

Victor:  Is it saying Love or are you replacing god with Love because you know my aversion to that label?

Tita:  Yes, I am replacing.  "Until today you may have been hiding things about yourself.  Just for today allow yourself to remember, to accept and to acknowledge that Love knows you and loves you."

    Yesterday I was typing up from the mindfulness book.  I just grabbed it and I am turning to a random page, like Tita told me they do at the ashram.  I landed on page 96.  Mindfulness for Everyday Living by Christopher Titmus.  Page 96, Cultivating Wise Intention.  I am going to type up the whole section.

"Authentic mindfulness takes into consideration the intentions behind our actions.  Intentions matter as much as mindfulness.  Together they have the power to transform our lives.  Our intentions act as a governing force behind our actions.  Even if we make mistakes and the results do not work out the way we want, we can take note of our intentions.  If we know deep in our heart that our intentions are wholesome, then we should take comfort in this knowledge.

If we apply right intention to right mindfulness, we develop a resource that enables us to be truly present to situations in a clear and caring way.  Both intention and mindfulness are factor's in the Buddha's Noble Eightfold Path to an enlightened life.  The other factors are right understanding, right speech, right action, right livelihood, right effort and right meditation.  To realize fulfillment in life, we give attention to all eight factors.  We have the opportunity to open up to a whole new vista of existence that eludes us in many ways through distorted and habitual states of mind.  That may mean making a firm intention to opening up our horizons through a more conscious life.

In the Buddhist tradition, intention or motivation acts as an essential principle behind whatever we do or want to do, whether in terms of work, study, leisure, relationships or spiritual exploration.  If we remain aware of our intentions, we will notice if they changek whether for better or worse.  It is all too easy to start with a wholesome motivation in a personal endeavor, such as the intention to give support to others, and end being motivated by the ego boost our actions bring.

Right intention is a core element in spiritual life but intentions alone are not enough.  We can be full of good intentions but never follow up on them.  Right intention leads to skillful action.  From a spiritual perspective, it means that such an intention needs to be followed up with skillful means.  In one discourse the Buddha says that we have the potential to realize full liberation if we practice mindfulness, not for seven years, or even seven months, but if we practice wholeheartedly for seven days.  That means having a clear intention to awaken and stay awake.

It would certainly seem worthwhile to examine our intentions, to see whether we regard them as wholesome, unwholesome or neither.  Our feelings and emotions easily have a major impact on our intentions.  If we feel happy and loving, we will probably express much kindness and generosity.  If we feel hurt or unhappy, we may want to hurt another through revenge, withdrawal or blame.  We need to be very honest with ourselves at such times and acknowledge the intentions that inform what we say or do.  Remember that our intentions not only have an impact on the lives of others, but also on ourselves.

We ought to adopt a pragmatic position.  Our unhealthy intentions will perpetuate our unhappiness if we desire to hurt another or others for what they have done or intended to do to us.  We have to be honest.  Do I want to sink to their level if I have been exploited?  Alternatively, can I use a healthy intention to rise up above the situation?  This is the greatest challenge when we pass through a tense situation, even a short-lived one.  For example, when driving along a busy road and another driver cuts in front, nearly causing an accident, we might swear at the driver and wave our fists in anger.  If we grasp onto our reaction, we might find ourselve trying to get past the driver to upset him.  This is road rage.  It is not only dangerous, but springs at our inability to look at our state of mind to catch the intention.  Clear mindfulness of our intentions makes the whole manner of our activities different.  Instead of reactivity, we approach a difficult situation with full alertness to our subsquent motivation.  We endeavor to stay true to acting wisely when under threat.  None would say this is easy.  Situations will test our patience and equanimity.  That is a guarantee.

Mindfulness, along with clear comprehension, dissolves our latent tendencies to indulge in daydreams and fantasies.  It is all too human to get lost in such states of mind, sometimes as a way to avoid the present moment.  Buddhist teachings have always regarded such states of mind as belonging to a dream world that consciousness finds itself immersed in as if it was reality.  One of the clear functions of mindfulness is to break up these patterns sufficiently so that we genuinely wake up to the immediacy of reality.  Mindfulness unlocks the door.  The clear intention to stay present is the key.  There is much to appreciate in the here and now, much to realize and much to wake up to in the present moment.  The here and now has the power to transform our lives.

As a major resource for a transformed life, the teachings of mindfulness seem deceptively simple.  If you say to yourself or others, "I am a mindful person," then the chances are that you have not truly entered the depths of mindful living and total attention to the here and now.  Commitment to mindfulness and wise intention embraces such concurrent factors as wise speech, skilful effort, right action and depths of meditation.  You can only start in this moment.

You might be tempted to tell yourself that you will start a serious mindfulness practice tomorrow.  That would be a postponement that gives license to living in the dream world longer than necessary.  This moment counts.  This is the moment where you have exposure to the presence of life.  In reality, there is no tomorrow.  There is no other time or place to turn to.  Is there any real choice between staying fully awake to this moment and living out of touch, often dull, unhappy and confused?  Who would choose the latter?  It may be worthwhile to reflect regularly on the value of staying present to keep our intention strong so that we abide with a clear and purposeful mind amid the ebb and flow or circumstances.

At times we certainly need to strengthen our intention, to give it extra focus, energy and consciousness, so that it has resolve to it.  We need to ask ourselves whether we have a genuine depth of intention to overcome problems.  We need resolve.  In some cases, this resolve needs to be strong from the time that we wake up in the morning.  There is little point in leaving reminders on the refigerator door or stuck on the kitchen wall.  We all know how quickly we can even forget their existence so that nothing really happens.  We have to remind ourselves inwardly to keep our resolve about something that matters to us.  

10:00am  From Meditations and Mantras by Swami Vishnu-Devananda.  Random page I chose.  Page 96.  MULADHARA CHAKRA

"The Muladhara chakra is located at the base of the spinal column.  It has a square mandala representing the earth principle which is yellow in color, and has the bija Mantra of lam.  The four petals which are crimson colored are associated with with sound vibrations of vam, sam, sham, and sam.  These bijas begin on the upper-right hand petal and are read in a clockwise direction.  Brahma is the presiding deity.  Within this chakra, kundalini lies dormant.  Here also is the Brahma granthi, or knot of Brahma, which must be forced open through rigorous sadhanna and intense purification for the kundalini to rise.

Meditation on the muladhara confers knowledge of the kundalini, as well as the means of awakening it.  It bestows breath and mind control, and knowledge of the past, present and future."

On the next page, 97 is Swadhisthana Chakra.

"the swadhisthana chakra, situated in the sushamna at the genital area, controls the lower abdomen, kidneys, etc. in the physical body.  Its element, water, is associated with the white crescent moon, and the bija is vam.  The six vermillion petals are represented by bam, bham, mam, yam, ram and lam.  Vishnu is the presiding deity.  Meditation is fixed on the crescent moon in the chakra.  It gives control over the water element and confers psychic powers, intuitional knowledge and knowledge of astral entities.  Many impure qualities are annihilated."