022505

 

San Antonio, TX

Friday February 25, 2005

     10:32am  Oh yeah, I forgot. I'm leaving. I just left my mom's house. I woke up from a nap. I'm good and rested. I'm supposed to watch this I Robot movie with Melissa. I'm going over to Santa Fe. I've got a J transfer in my wallet. I hope I get there before the bus passes.

     10:44am  I'm at the Citgo already. I'm standing in front of the Citgo waiting for the bus to come. I'm going to see if I can bum a cigarette before the bus gets here.

     10:50am  There's the bus. I didn't get a cigarette.

                     I'm reading my Many Lives, Many Masters book about reincarnation. On the front of the book it says, "The true story of a prominent psychiatrist, his young patient, and the past-life therapy that changed both their lives." I'm going to copy out the entire Chapter 9.

     3:22pm  John hooked me up with some change for a transfer. The stupid greedy ass bus driver, R.E. Wilson. I got on the bus and paid my fare. I went up to the driver and asked him, "Will you give me a transfer? I don't have fifteen cents." He told me no. Then this guy in the back John gave me some change. When John gave me the change he told me, "I'm glad I can help you." I went back to the driver and put in fourteen cents. I was still short a penny. The bitch ass driver tells me, "You need one more cent." He gets all mad and tells me, "Don't you ever ask me for a transfer again! Remember this face. I've been here for two years!" I told him, "Or else what? Don't you know the rules? Ask and thou shall receive. Duh." Haha, he hesitantly gave me a transfer anyway. Haha, I shall be in his mind for a long time.

     3:32pm  Tom hooked me up with a cigarette at the hospital. I appreciate it, brother. Everybody gets credit.

     4:09pm  I'm at Santa Fe.

                   Time to reflect. I think I made a big boo-boo with Melissa. I just told her everything. I got all high and just let it all out. I even told her that line I had been thinking about for a couple days. "I have so much love to give, but nobody wants Victor's love. Can I give you some?" I can't believe I told her that. I hope I didn't freak her out. She was wearing her beautiful smile the whole time. She wouldn't give me any input at all. I felt like an idiot. I mean, I've known this girl for like four days maybe. I really hope I didn't ruin my chances. Thing is, her parents still control her. She's thirty two years old and they still haven't let her go. I had told her, "I want to show you what it's really like." I don't know. We were supposed to watch a movie tonight, and now we're not. She said she didn't feel like it. I think that may be a sign that maybe I should just leave her alone for a while and let her think about it.

                   I'm at Santa Fe. I think I'm going home. I don't think I'm going to pursue Melissa anymore.

     5:15pm  I have to make an update. I was over at Sam's house and I thought, "Ah, screw it. I'll go to Travis Park and see if there is anyone there." It's raining. I shouldn't have gone. It was all dead. I just got off the bus and looked around. I jumped on the 91 and I'm at University Hospital now. I'm waiting for the 610. I had a D transfer, so I trimmed it.

     5:40pm  Jeff hooked me up with a cigarette at the hospital. I appreciate it, brother. Everybody gets credit, thanks.

     6:10pm  On the 610 going home.

     6:40pm  I forgot to tell you. I'm at the Citgo by my mom's house. I just called her, but she's not home. I was going to see if she could pick me up, since it's raining. I'll just walk.

     6:51pm  I am at my mom's.

                   I don't know what time it is. I'm at my mom's house. I finally gathered enough courage to call Melissa. She told me she was on her way to Trish's and she had to go. She told me, "Why don't you call me tomorrow?" I'm so dumb. I actually told her, "Your number was really fun to dial." I wanted to tell her, "Listen, Melissa. I'm really sorry I laid that big bombshell on you yesterday. You probably won't be seeing much more of me. After these past couple of days, I'm not scared of anything. I have to be walking again every day like I used to. So you're probably not going to be seeing too much more of me."

     1:20am  I'm going to sleep, finally. I typed up a lot. I'm only like two days behind now. I played a little Tetrinet. It was cool, I typed up my whole platform in the Tetrinet chatroom and everyone actually listened and didn't start a game. I got some girl's email address too. This pianogirl chick.

Next day..