031424

1:36pm  Today is Thursday.  Shit, it says Wednesday on my watch.  Today is the 14th.  I have had a lot of good evolution on my blog lately.   I just got cued to build a David Attenborough Filmography.  I have been hard at work collecting links.  This should be HUGE since David was such an obsessed documentary-maker.  It was weird how I was reminded about him.  The Until Today entry Tita read me the other day, after reading it I Google Deceptive Intelligence and I found a site with a good article about Farrakhan and in the first paragraph it mentioned a David Attenborough movie....that is all it took.  He has sooo much stuff in the Grand Archive!  When I am done it's going to be so profound.  Hopefully, it'll make my stuff soar!  Tita, recap the day so far.

Tita:  Oh, well, I couldn't sleep last night because in my mind I was planning, thinking ahead.  It's a new moon and all the energy workers are encouraging us to put together a wish-list, to envision exactly our future.  Part of our future is to buy a traveling car, right?  We are going to sell the Versa that I have had since 2013.  It has kind of run its course.  It's too small, anyway.  I started looking up cars, so I didn't go to sleep at all until like seven.  I slept for only a couple of hours.  I asked for Victor's input.  The CRV, the Honda is a good car.  

Victor:  My old scooter was a Honda.

Tita:  The more I researched I remembered the Subaru Outback.  It is very comparable.  After a lot of research looking at different sites I found the Subaru has the edge.  Not only does it live as long, maybe 200-300k miles, but the Subaru has AWD.  We need a car that can handle going off the beaten path, rugged.  We want a 2016/17 slightly used Outback.  I am about to show Victor some and we are going to decide on a color and everything, just to have a vision in mind.  It worked for us before when we needed a car to transport dad and we got the Subaru Forester.  It is kind of fun to plan this stuff. 

We had been thinking that we can't sell it to Caito because he is ghosting us.  He's not communicating at all and Victor thinks he is just stringing us along about buying the house.  I know that I also haven't been knocking on their door.  I also have not been feeling well or decisive.  Whatever, there just hasn't been the right timing for me to even approach them.  I was ready also to go just go with another realtor and sell to the highest bidder.  I talked to Allan today and my brother's interest is still there, so I have some hope still to keep the house in the family.  It turns out my brother has been diligent about doing some paperwork to secure a loan.  He, with Allan's help has gotten all the paperwork ready for the loan so he can give me a big chunk.  What if Victor and I find a house and we need to put a down payment on it?  There are just a lot of what-ifs and I would like to have liquidity.  I don't want to be going month by month especially when we are out traveling.  So I think we are back on track with Caito being the avenue for us to sell it.  I proposed to Allen that maybe we enter into some kind of partnership, because I rather him not sell it.   I rather he not flip it and retain ownership and just rent it to a needy family and leave it to Allen.  That is very important to me.  

I mean, I could sell it and Victor and I have to empty it and then get the cash.  But after the thirty days for escrow Victor and I couldn't sleep here anymore and there is still so much junk in the house.  My family's not mine.  I don't want to have to rent a place to live for us to tie up these loose ends.  That is one of the advantages of selling it to Caito.  We could just leave a lot of this shit.  It would be nice if after I get the money Caito will let me leave after I tie up loose ends.  

That is what we are envisioning and I talked to Allen about that.  I think maybe my bro and I should do a partnership.  If he can't afford it, I don't want Caito to go into debt over this.  There might be a way where we can have more of a partnership.  I don't feel right about signing 100% of the house over to him.  That is another change that I am going to have to talk to him about.  Whatever percentage he is able to give me now, will be the percentage of the house I sign over.  Otherwise, he has no incentive to honor his debt to me, to finish paying me for my house.  I don't trust him enough.  Like my friend Andrew suggested, that it's not a wise idea to trust anyone when it come to such a large amount of money.  

We are going to hopefully sit down with my brother.  Hopefully we can get another $5k loan.  They have already given me $5k, but it was just used for bills accrued.  With another $5k I can clear up some of Victor's credit card that we have had to use.  So it will be a total of $10k that my brother has put up as an advance for the house.  Also, we can finally go and pick up our stuff from the Mount Shasta storage and consolidating it here in Modesto.  We are looking forward to these next steps because we are ready to go.  As soon as we get this big chunk from Caito and we consolidate our stuff, we have no impediments.  Also, like I said, we don't want to be out of place to sleep while we go shopping for this car.   I want to leave Modesto and have ZERO loose ends.  

We just walked the dogs.  We walked all the way to the neighborhood park down Laramie.  We spent a little over an hour walking.  Victor taped his blog all over the place.  We're going to go fly the sign later.  We do need the cash.  A lot of progress today and good forward movement.  Okay, over and out.  

        I am out here doing my thing at the stoplight and getting smiles left and right and Sara was nice enough to volunteer me a couple little tacos from Jack in the Box.  I appreciate it, Sarah.  Everybody gets credit.

Victor:  And I do have to distribute my blog.

2:19pm  Today is the 14th of March.  Tomorrow is the Ides.  We are out here in our luxurious paradisiacal backyard, which lost its novelty for me years ago.  The pool is a total waste of money.  We have never used it enough to justify the expense.  I know I have a joke I can look up about that.  

Women are like swimming pools.

They cost a great deal of money to maintain, considering the time you spend inside them.  LOL

Tita:  It's a nice and windy day out here.  I was just talking to Victor about where we are, how we feel.  Victor has taken on the little kid role in the relationship.  Not even the relationship, in life.  He has decided that it is more fun to sit on his computer and find videos that he can make karaoke clips of, and it's kind of cute, you know?  I do all the grocery shopping, I pay the bills, I do the banking, I have been doing the laundry, even this past week, Victor has like one chore, the dishes, and I've beend doing them since he has been so fixated on his blog. 

Victor:  I went through a period where instead of doing them first thing, as soon as I heard you stirring I would jump on them.  I did that for like three days or so, but lately I have refused because there haven't been that many dishes and would tell myself, "Fuck it, I'll just do them when she complains about them."

Tita:  It's just kind of cute that Victor is not being an adult.  He is doing what he loves.  He is not worried about the material world because I am doing it.  We kind of switched places.  Last year it was if there was no adult in the house.  Victor was acting like a 17 year old and I was acting like a 7 - 8 year old, like someone in elementary school, watching movies all day, staying in my pajamas all day and going out only to swim.  Refusing to put on clothing because I was so hot.  I was like a child.  As much as we had negative things happen between us and in our relationship, really because we dropped the ball and decided, fuck it, I am not happy here but I am going to make the best of it.  We became like kids.  We just did the minimum we needed to do.

Victor:  Umm, I was sparking ideas and taking off and coming back.  I was busy.  

Tita:  Well, Victor had good ideas.  I am just saying that in the summer most of what he did was either be on the computer, or go out to smoke and try and meet friends smoking.

Victor:  That's a load of horse shit there.  I never go out to meet friends.  I don't have any friends in this town.  

Tita:  Didn't you invite people to smoke with you?

Victor:  Not any that I brought here.  Fuck people in this town.  I wouldn't bring any home like Kaenan would.  

Tita:  There are a lot of tweakers here.

Victor:  Have we talked about yesterday's tweaker incident?

Tita:  Yeah, when Victor was flying his sign on the corner, we were read to leave, the cars weren't piling up nicely anymore.  I told Victor, "One more pileup and we'll leave."  I was worried about the sun going down, because I wanted to do some sun gazing.  I told Victor, "You've done pretty well.  Maybe we should get going."  After only like 15 minutes he comes to the car with $5 and a pocketful of weed.  In the end we only got like $9 in cash, but we got a lot of good nuggets.  I told Victor to do just one last round, just in case.  I go and get the car and bring it closer.  I get out and spot where he is.  I thought he would be ready to go.  I saw him and yelled out, "I am ready when you are!"  In the meantime this homeless looking lady passes by with a dog.  She looks at my by my car and she she sees me talking to Victor and she says, "Oh!  You're a fake homeless!"  I just totally ignored her.  I could hear her barking at me and she had a bad tic.  She sounded like she had tourettes.  Who knows what she was screeching, because nobody could understand her.  We did pretty good, but that lady was nuts.  

Victor:  There is a very negative vibe on that corner.  

Tita:  Us being there improves it.

Victor:  For sure.  Come to think of it, I think even the police have my back in this town.  Not once have they come and talked to me when I am bumming on that corner.  They have probably noticed all the blog tapes I have all over that corner, and a lot of other places in town.  

Tita:  I think so, too.  I think they've seen you and know who you are and they know you are not out to harm anybody.  So yeah, we are just enjoying the backyard.  I am trying not to think of it, because it is going to be sad not being here anymore.  All the memories here.  I kind of feel still accompanied by my mom and dad often.  I saw them here, they walked here, I hung out with them here.  I am thinking it's our last days here and it's getting time to pack up.  Springtime is arriving, it's the perfect time to move.  This is the time to get up and move, after hibernation.  Victor and I both, well Victor has been more active, but I have been in hibernation mode.  Cooking every day, making pies, feeding my babe.  I love making food that he loves.  I haven't massaged him lately, but I have been giving him foot treatments.  He's got a fungus in his toenails.

Victor:  A fungus amongus!  Like that one Wisdom Dog video seeker showed me!

Tita:  Victor's friend seeker recommended this cute cartoon of this little dog.  It's really cute!  It sounds like he's talking, but it's nonsensical.  So we have been having a nice time.  I have been waking up slowly from my slumber and cooking and being at home, but it's getting closer to the time we have to go.  Hopefully soon we are going to our storage in Mount Shasta to collect our stuff.  It'll be fun to have a little adventure.  It's going to be exciting to leave already.  We don't even know where we are going to go.  We think we want to end up in Mexico, maybe. 

Victor:  That rhymed!

Tita:  Victor is thinking of going to San Antonio again, just to show me around.  Maybe first we will go to Yosemite, because Victor has never been.   

2:31pm  Victor:  Wait, what did you say right now?  What did you say you are glad we are watching?

Tita:  Oh, David Attenborough.  I love nature shows.  It's been so long since I have watched any.  In the episode we watched last night we learned the name of three different animals we had never seen before.  Victor and I stopped watching these nature shows when we were young.  

Victor:  What episode did we watch?

Tita:  The Private Life of Plants, I think.  About how seeds get spread.