031907

Eugene to Portland, OR

Monday March 19, 2007

     10:43am  I just had a little glitch in my tape recorder and a lot of stuff didn't record. Let's see, that night after I went to the laundromat I came back to the motel. Sara finally decided to rent a UHaul. This morning we walked up to the UHaul place. We are already halfway to Portland already. We left Eugene and we stopped at the Original Breakfast Restaurant. Better than grandma's. What all happened when we were in Eugene? I don't know. I hope I remember when I type this up.
                    Okay, I am sure everybody is wondering if after spending two or three nights in a motel room with this nude dancer, if I got lucky. Unfortunately no. We slept on separate beds, but I had a permanent hard-on the whole time. Hey, I am only human and here before me I have this fairy nymph right out of a fairy tale, scantily-clad in a private room. What else should I be thinking about? With much self-control I contained myself. It wasn't easy though. That which does not kills me, you know. I even grew enough balls to explain my carnal instincts to her, and asked her for a private show. Her answer of I'll-think-about-it will do just nicely. :]

     12:24pm  We just drove up to the weed-guy's house. First thing to do when we get to town is score some marijuana. That's awesome.

     1:16pm  We got to Portland and the weed-guy wasn't home. Sara had to go tan so she just dropped me off at some tanning salon. I am at the bus stop in front of Winchell's Donuts and she's going to come pick me up in the morning. There's the bus.

     1:57pm  I am in Downtown Portland. I'm going to find a bathroom and then look for a park to tell my story in.

     2:02pm  Nice James, I'm just walking around Downtown Portland and he pinched me a hit for my one-hitter. I appreciate it, brother.

     3:30pm  I got directions to Pioneer Plaza, that concrete plaza I came to last time. It started raining so I headed in the direction of the library. Here I am in the lobby because it's raining. I have half an hour to wait to get on the computer. Four 'o clock.

     4:57pm  I just finished up at the library. It's still raining outside. I don't know what I'm going to do.

     5:45pm  I just had a good presentation with this girl at the bus stop. She's looking at my webpage right now on her cellphone.

                   I'm at the plaza. Food Not Bombs is supposed to be here, but I don't see them anywhere. It's raining hard. They probably got rained out.

     6:46pm  Nathan and Jessie are giving out food here at Pioneer Square in Downtown Portland. I appreciate it, guys. Everybody gets credit, thanks.

     8:15pm  I was just walking around looking for people to tell my story to. I hit this kid up for it at the Max stop. He offered to smoke a bowl with me! Hell yeah! This bum with a bike was asking him for spare change.  After he told that guy no I hit him up for my free story and told him I didn't want any money, just a moment of his time.  He instantly agreed and when I said marijuana he offered to smoke me out and we went up in this parking garage and chiefed a couple bowls.

     8:32pm  Bob or Rob gave me a cigarette. I appreciate it, bro. Everybody gets credit.

     8:36pm  I just walked to Pioneer Square. The security guard came up to me and said, "Hey, marijuana-man." He saw me flying my sign earlier. I hit him up for my story and he said he was willing to listen, but he didn't have time. He was working. I figure I'll just stay up all night and find a place to crash in the morning.

     10:11pm  I am wandering around the streets of Downtown Portland looking for people to talk to. Everybody went inside, I guess. I was considering staying up all night. I might not. I talked to this other homeless dude Storm and he told me a place I could crash where other homebums crash. Over by the waterfront under the bridge. Burnside bridge, I think. If I get too tired I'm going to crash.

     10:17pm  Where am I? I just got here. Tanya gave me a cigarette right off of 4th and Davis. I really appreciate it, Tanya. Everybody gets credit, thanks.

     10:25pm  Another ignorant East Coaster. That explains it. The Ignorant Coast.

     11:13pm  I'm hanging out in front of the Magic Garden Bar Restaurant and lounge. I was telling one of the guys who works here, the bouncer, I hit him up for my story and he said sure. I think he's from Australia. He's got an accent. At the end he was all, "That's a beautiful vision. That's genius." He went inside and got me something to eat! Then he offered me a beer. I said no thanks, but it's the thought that counts.

     11:20pm  Like I said, I was in front of the Magic Garden Restaurant and Lodge. I was telling the bouncer my story and he was ultra-receptive to it. He hooked me up with a lot of food. I appreciate it, brother. Everybody gets credit, thanks.

Next day..