6-25-23
8:35am I stayed up last night making new Karaoke videos(Is karaoke capitalized)? I slept upstairs in my office alone. I woke up and swept and mopped and waxed the kitchen floor. It was pretty walked-on and dusty after all of our garage saling these past couple of weeks. Yesterday I designed a bitching revolutionary yard sale sign. In the garage I found a cool poster artwork of Che Guevera that one of her brothers made in school decades ago. It's great artwork. Check it out:
Revolutionary yard sale! LOL
Afterwards I went upstairs and got online and checked my web stats. I gave out sooooo many of my blog papers during our sale/giveaway. I hope everyone enjoys the jokes. I had some great presentations, Note From The Rich mostly.
LOL, I am going to LOVE writing this chapter!!
Anyway, this morning I got online and I started thinking about my deadbeat "father" Franklin Gruber Chiari. I googled his name and found a YouTube video of him. I have never seen him alive since I was a little kid. I was expecting him to have a thick Panamanian accent, but he spoke English perfectly. The first video I found was about seven years old. It only had one comment. I changed that this morning, hehe. This is going to be such a great chapter. Check out the comment I made on this video.
Hmm, it won't show up after I posted it. Maybe due to profanity, but here's the comment.
"I am Franklin Gruber Chiari's biological son, Victor Antonio Gruber. First, just look at the confused look in his face. It makes me wonder what kind of drugs he's on, ha.
I want to remind everyone reading this that biology DOES NOT make a parent. I am 45 now and am an accomplished long-distance walker/photojournalist, peace activist. Please look at my my interesting, ad-free, non-religious and funny blog. I literally am an open book. http://laughdispenser.blogspot.com
To start off it's my joke collection. Franklin Gruber Chiari is still the biggest joke I've ever come across though. The lamest one too.
This literal "Snake-oil salesman." Let me get a good definition.
Here's one: "Meaning of snake oil salesman in English
someone who deceives people in order to get money from them: He was dubbed a "modern day snake oil salesman" after he ripped off thousands of internet customers. (Definition of snake oil salesman from the Cambridge Business English Dictionary © Cambridge University Press)Jun 21, 2023.
Franklin Chiari Gruber is as irresponsible as they come. His lazy, non-working ass totally abandoned my mother and two sisters on or about four years after emigrating the family to San Antonio in 1980. I guess he got used to my mother's parents always bailing him out. Whenever money got tight he would always be counting on his in-laws so he wouldn't have to work and provide for his family. He "assumed" he lucked out and married into money and could shirk all responsibilities that come with being a husband and father. He never grew up.
When my twin sister Laura and I were four Franklin stopped being able to handle reality(not like he ever could) and phsyically abandoned his new family and left us to fend for ourselves. Thank LOVE for my mother's LOVE. He returned to Panama and long after he returned he began to study natural cures so he could support himself. He is quoted saying in front of one of his relatives, "I don't need to support them because they have a wealthy grandfather and besides, a mother who is able to break her back to provide for them." Unbeknownst to Franklin, a cousin sitting nearby overheard the conversation.
He took the easy exit. Spineless fool.
Providing is the last thing he did. Actually, I'm wrong. He never even came close to providing to begin with. As long as his father-in-law kept paying rent, he felt like he didn't have to. My mother was the only one working and his lazy ass would do nothing all day. He wouldn't even get up to go apply for foodstamps, my mother recalls. The only memory I have of my "father" is of him lying on the hammock drinking a beer and offering me a sip and me spitting it out all over him. That's it. Maybe that's where my aversion to alcohol is rooted.
Not one single phone call in my whole life. He totally blew us off. Not one iota of wanting to be in our lives. My mother recalls a certain phone call Frank made, where she put us on the phone to talk to him, and he promised he had a huge box of Christmas presents for us. And me, being only four years old, believing his father, every day I would sit in front of the mailbox waiting. It never came. Every single day I would walk up the apartment stairs looking down only to cry to my mom how my presents didn't arrive. Then my seven year old sister told me, "Stop going to the mailbox because the presents are never going to come."
When my sister talked to Frank on the phone next she told him, "Stop making promises and just send my mom money so she can buy us your presents." In all actuality, what we really wished for was his presence. Needless to say, his children didn't receive anything their father promised.
This man is a fraud and I am ashamed to bare his last name. I am strongly considering having it legally changed to my wife's last name. Victor Vera sounds much better than Victor Goober. Her father became my new father whom I was able to love and care for before he died. I felt so blessed to finally have a father after never having one.
Give this " man" NO money. He is a fraud and a failure and deserves to know what it's like to NOT have things he needs. From his track record I can safely assume he has accomplished very, very little in life.
Eventually, my twin sister reached out to him when the internet came along, only to find out he's still a deadbeat with a new family that I'm sure he'll abandon too eventually.
In 1996, after my first head injury. Rosa, the wife of Frank's first cousin Mario, who was the only contact my mother had ever maintained with the Grubers, she called after having a dream that something awful had happened to our family. She woke up and told her husband, frantic, "Something bad has happened to Ada or her children." My mother informed her that I had been involved in a horrible car accident. About two or three days later, when my mom returned home to get a change of clothes for herself, she had been staying with me full time at the hospital, around the clock. As she walked in her front door the phone rang. She answered and heard, "It's me, Franklin Gruber. How is my son doing?" Angrily, she said, "Your son?! I am sure you mean MY son!" He answered, "Don't be sarcastic." She told him, "You very well know that he is MY son because I have actually been present in his life. All you've done for him is NOTHING. He has been fighting for his life, but thanks to God and my care, he's slowly returning."
Franklin Gruber Chiari can lick my balls! :P
:P
- Victor Antonio from San Antonio
p.s. I am going to post this same exact comment everywhere I can. I'm going to leave you with nothing, Franklin Gruber Chiari. Fuck you and your reputation. You deserve every bit of displeasure I can cause you. Payback's a bitch, you punk ass fool. Didn't you ever learn how to do unto others(Matt 7:12)? I can't wait to read and share on my blog all of your recent emails you've had with Laura, teehee. You are going down, geezer. I am so glad you named me after your father, and that your father knew better than to give you his name.
JUSTICIA!
P.S. After all this animosity I am rightfully expressing, I would still be open to meeting Franklin and having a mature conversation face to face. Maybe there are some things in his side of the story that might change my mind. It would've been nice of him to let me know his side of the story, but he didn't love us enough to make those phone calls. I will only agree to such a conference if we can smoke cannabis during it. Both of us."
HAHAHA, I can't wait for him to read this!
Ok, let me give you some background info.
Back when I first started brainstorming ideas to help. back around when I was working on my Portable Party idea, like around 2000, one morning I checked my email and I had some lame joke email from my sister. I was bored that day so I hit the Reply to All button on her mail and sent out my Portable Party report to everyone on her mailing list.
Well, unbeknownst to me, Laura had already made contact with Franklin via the internet so he got my dissertation. So one morning I wake up and check my email and I have one from my father! I opened it up real quick in shock.
It was really weird how this man who was my father, who I didn't know at all, could be so similar to me. He was all about exercise and natural remedies. He claimed to be a medicine man in the wilderness of Panama, professed to be a curandero(a healer) and was expecting to be very wealthy soon so he could finally help us. I was very happy to think he might actually return to our lives, always staying a little suspicious though.
I don't remember the exact mails offhand because it's been so long, but I think I've saved them all. We had some emails back and forth and I decided to forgive him. I told him, "I have had some very educational trials lately and my mind is a sponge right now. I can't deny our similarities and would love to soak up any knowledge you may have that I could use. What you did or didn't do is in the past and I am trying to live as much as I can in the now."
He eventually volunteered to send me $500. "Great! He hasn't been around my whole life. That's the least he could do," I thought. He Western Unioned me $200 and promised he'd send me the rest later. With that money I went out and bought some traveling supplies and attempted another walking/hitchhiking trip, only to end up in jail in San Marcos for pissing on some rednecks barbwire fence. Hays County Jail story.
After I got out of jail I go and check my email and I have one from Frank telling me he was refusing to send me the remainder because he feared I was going to use it to buy marijuana! Me thinking this guy is a naturalist, an herbalist, he should know better about cannabis, but he ended up thinking it was a dangerous drug, just like all of the rest of the brainwashed sheep.
I wasn't upset that I'd have to do without the money he promised me. I was appalled that he had the nerve to fail me yet again. After all, he had given me his word as my father he would send me the money. Little did he know he was digging his own grave by breaking his promise to his new-found son.
I quickly made a special section on my website, havethisbook dot com, titled Bastard Franklin. I admit I wasn't too sure of the meaning of bastard when I made it, it just sounded good to me, hehe. He knows who his father is, but I still think he's a bastard. I eventually gave the section a more fitting name, Failure Franklin. :P
Anyway, this special section contained EVERY SINGLE ONE of the emails we had back and forth, detailing his continued betrayal. Not to mention, including private details which clearly broadcasted his location, to the entire world! Hehe, it got to the point where after Googling his name the first result would be in big capital letters WORLD PEACE THROUGH MARIJUANA. HAHAHAHA! With a link to all of his private info! Haha! Bet you wish you would've stuck around now, huh?? Sucker!
He was all trying to build an online presence selling his bullshit cures and now anyone who tried to research him found out EXACTLY the kind of fraud he was. They could even visit his pathetic ass and know all of his secrets! HAHAHA.
I am so glad I received my mental capacity from my mother's side of the family. It would suck to be a dumb Gruber like my "father." La-hoo-hooser.
Conversation I had with my mom on the phone regarding my "father": "Lauar y el se divorciaron. Ella lo mando al, yo no hablo asi, pero lo mando al carajo. Se acaba de murir un tio tuyo, caramba. Creo que era un pastor, bien lindo. Se llamaba Victor Leroy Gruber, hermano de Franklin. El era el unico Gruber con quien Laura hablaba que era Gruber. El era un hombre bueno."
Victor: "Pues, mama. Te llame para decirte algo. Yo eh escrito reporte sobre Franklin. La pagina en mi blog que trata con el la nombre Dumbfuck."
Ada: "Y el lo vio?"
Victor: "Ojala que un dia si! Yo trate de poner el reporte completo en un comment de un video del, pero no creo que lo accepto, pero tengo cada palabra gravada y a voy a poner en mi blog. Y yo inclui la dirrecion a mi blog."
I read to her my new introduction where I say, "I am the biological son of Franklin Gruber Chiari. My lazy and irresponsible "father" Franklin Gruber Chiari abadoned the family in blah, blah, blah. But that's another story and I want to keep this introduction short." At first I had a link to the dumbfuck page I had made which told the whole story of how he left us, etc. But, I am not sure I have all the dates right. So, I don't know if you would be willing to proofread a rought draft of that for me, to make any corrections."
Ada: "Claro que si, mandamelo."
Victor: "Great! Because I want to stick to the truth. I want to stick to the facts." And be aware that I am going to grant him the opportunity to tel his side of the story too. That's only the fair thing to do. If he even acknowledges me. I tell him off good. Ok, well that's great!
Also, I had a big two and a half hour conversation with Charlie about a month ago and I typed up every single word."
Ada: "Aye, con eso le tienes que pedir permiso."
Victor: "I already did. I even sent him a rough draft for him to revise. And he has not. I just texted him the other day, "I have given you ample time to make any corrections..." and he hasn't responded at all. So I'm going to post it as-is.
Ada: "De que trato la conversacion?"
Victor: "De todo. De como yo hice la equivocacion de sentir abandonado por my propia madre porque le estabas dando preferencia a Diana. Pero prefiero no hablar de eso ahora.
I don't know if Laura will have any qualms...I would LOVE for her to give me access to her recent emails with him, especially ones where she sends him to the carajo, lol.
Ada: "No, Laura no lo va hacer."
Victor: "I'll hack her email accout then.
I'm kidding, mom. Hehe. Do you remember how Franklin thought I hacked his email account a long time ago? I hadn't done anything like that. But I LOVE the fact that he thinks that I could if I wanted to, lol. Maybe I can. He'll never be sure. :P
Okay, mom. Well, everything is going graet. I told you about how we just found out that the brother nearby wants to buy the house in order to keep it in the family? Here, I'll let you talk to Elizabeth.
Elizabeth: "Hola, como estas? Si, apenas hablamos con mi hermano Sabado y el quire comprar la casa."
Ada: "Pero te va a dar buen precio?
Elizabeth: "Dijo que pagaria lo igual pero no mas, no menos." Le degimos a Eddie eso y ahora el otro investor de el ofrecio pagar cinco mil dolares mas."
Ada: "Aye, bueno. Que tu hermano page eso."
Elizabeth: "Si, voy a platicar con el oy."
Victor: "Y no vamos a tener que vaciar la casa entera!
Elizabeth: "She ended the call. She'll probably call back. So, are you going to sell your tee shirts, or are you going to give them away?"
Victor: "Kind of both. I'm going to sell them, $12."
Elizabeth: "You should do $20."
Victor: "No, twelve bucks is how much they cost me and I want to show everyone exactly how much I care about profiting money. My crazy check pays for them, not subsequent sales, which means the more the merrier. Fucking the system with the system, hehe. I'll be pumping out and distributing shirts until they cut me off. :]
Elizabeth: "Fifteen is better then."
Victor: "I am thinking, I am hoping that people will give me more than twelve after I tell them they're only twelve. Some might be sticklers, but I don't care. As long as they or anyone else wears my shirts." If they choose to be cheap, that's on them. I am going to get my word out, regardless.
Victor: "I am visualizing people in my near future giving me a twenty dollar bill, me asking them if they need any change and them telling me no. Let's see how long until I make that happen."
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