101702

 

10-17

ALEXIS IS 18:

DlE lGNORANCE: hallo
ALEXIS IS 18: you made it home ok?
DlE lGNORANCE: yeah..the other day, when i was walking home from the HEB, this guy i used to know when i worked at albertsons and at school, brian moreno, saw me and gave me a ride
DlE lGNORANCE: gave me his number, and told me to call if i ever needed a ride
DlE lGNORANCE: i had called my mom first but her lazy ass wouldnt come
DlE lGNORANCE: so i gave brian a ring, and he said no problem
ALEXIS IS 18: kool
DlE lGNORANCE: yeah..
ALEXIS IS 18: i was worried
ALEXIS IS 18: you know, i miss you.
DlE lGNORANCE: i was sure where the park-n-ride was..
DlE lGNORANCE: until i saw the buses
DlE lGNORANCE: i had like a 30 minute wait until the 550 came
DlE lGNORANCE: and i was dreading the walk, im dead tired
DlE lGNORANCE: im glad brian didnt mind getting me
DlE lGNORANCE: but hey, maybe its my bi-polarness...
DlE lGNORANCE: but i think maybe we jumped into things..
ALEXIS IS 18: oh?
DlE lGNORANCE: im just buggin'
ALEXIS IS 18: Are you been serious?
DlE lGNORANCE: sometimes i think maybe i cant handle a "girlfriend" right now
DlE lGNORANCE: i dunno
DlE lGNORANCE: theres a lot of factors involved
DlE lGNORANCE: ahh
ALEXIS IS 18: ok

DlE lGNORANCE: its just weird
DlE lGNORANCE: we couldnt spend the time i would want to spend together..
ALEXIS IS 18: i get it.
DlE lGNORANCE: argh
DlE lGNORANCE: i mean, we had only met once before in person..and suddenly were committing ourselves to each other
DlE lGNORANCE: trust me, its not like theres someone else in the picture..
DlE lGNORANCE: im just being paranoid, maybe
ALEXIS IS 18: i get it
DlE lGNORANCE: what do you get?
ALEXIS IS 18: So lets not be committed.
DlE lGNORANCE: maybe its just that i missed being as close with someone so much..that i jumped in head-first..
ALEXIS IS 18: well thats me too.
DlE lGNORANCE: i cant devote myself to anyone that much right now, in this huge turning-point in my life
DlE lGNORANCE: i need to dedicate my devotion to saving the world..
DlE lGNORANCE: first
ALEXIS IS 18: brb
DlE lGNORANCE: i could understand if youre mad at me for thinking this stuff
ALEXIS IS 18: back
DlE lGNORANCE: welcome back
DlE lGNORANCE: do you want me to shut up about it?
ALEXIS IS 18: no
DlE lGNORANCE: ok, why didnt you let me french-kiss you?
ALEXIS IS 18: i not like it.
ALEXIS IS 18: Guys don't know how to do it so now I get turned off.
DlE lGNORANCE: were you having doubts/regrets too?  
ALEXIS IS 18: about?
DlE lGNORANCE: about our proclamation today..
DlE lGNORANCE: i dunno, something that gets to me sometime, is how you havent read my other stuff
ALEXIS IS 18: I don't think we are b/f g/f.  i am fine.  You have doubts and regrets, stop fucking around.  oh so cuz i havent read it yet, i am and i am going to pass them out pluss to lots of other stuff.
DlE lGNORANCE: ok, im not fucking around on purpose..
ALEXIS IS 18: bla
DlE lGNORANCE: im sorry im so immature when it comes to this..
ALEXIS IS 18: you know want just dont do anything with me any more.  i can help you with out seeing you.
DlE lGNORANCE: im not saying i dont want anything to do with you alexis
DlE lGNORANCE: im not saying that at all
DlE lGNORANCE: i want you to be part of my team
DlE lGNORANCE: i want you to be there when i have my meetings
DlE lGNORANCE: i want your help, i need it
DlE lGNORANCE: two heads are better than one
ALEXIS IS 18: i will go to the meeting but thats it.
DlE lGNORANCE: i plan on having more than one..
DlE lGNORANCE: i dont not want to be your friend alexis..
DlE lGNORANCE: i know i jumped to conclusions about us, im sorry
DlE lGNORANCE: my mistake
ALEXIS IS 18: I am not going to waste any more of my time with guys that Dick around.
DlE lGNORANCE: if i was dicking around with you, i wouldnt even be telling you all this..
DlE lGNORANCE: i would be "playing" you like a lot of other assholes would..
ALEXIS IS 18: I am not a mushroom.
DlE lGNORANCE: what do you mean?
DlE lGNORANCE: im just telling you how i feel alexis, being honest like i always am
DlE lGNORANCE: why would you want anything but that?
ALEXIS IS 18: Your telling me two things, one right after the other and its contradicting.
ALEXIS IS 18:
ALEXIS IS 18: And broken.
ALEXIS IS 18: :{
DlE lGNORANCE: im bi-polar alexis, im not using that as an excuse either, sometimei need time to make my mind up on certain things
ALEXIS IS 18: ;{
DlE lGNORANCE: oh no :[
DlE lGNORANCE: youre broken?
ALEXIS IS 18: no i dont think i can take your biness
DlE lGNORANCE: sometimes i dont think i can either..
DlE lGNORANCE: hehe biness, i like that
DlE lGNORANCE: see, there i go again
DlE lGNORANCE: >:[
ALEXIS IS 18: Sorry its not going to work for me.
DlE lGNORANCE: what exactly do you mean?
DlE lGNORANCE: any relations with us?
DlE lGNORANCE: i hate being crazy
DlE lGNORANCE: it sucks
ALEXIS IS 18: I don't want to be emotionally attached to you, fucking-friends if you want and I will help you when I can, but that's it.
DlE lGNORANCE: understood
ALEXIS IS 18: Your going to have to be OK with this, its a one time offer.
DlE lGNORANCE: and thanks
ALEXIS IS 18: for
DlE lGNORANCE: for willing to help me in spite of my being all messed up
ALEXIS IS 18: So do you want to be fuck friends.
DlE lGNORANCE: the last thing i wanted was to lose you as my friend..
DlE lGNORANCE: youre so hot, of course
ALEXIS IS 18: ok
DlE lGNORANCE: id still like to give you that hummer i promised you, it that would still be appropriate..
DlE lGNORANCE: - it +if
ALEXIS IS 18: ok
DlE lGNORANCE: :]
ALEXIS IS 18: Its just no strings sex.
DlE lGNORANCE: right on
ALEXIS IS 18: Whatever.
DlE lGNORANCE: i still feel guilty though
DlE lGNORANCE: damn conscience..
ALEXIS IS 18: whatever vik, just get you way.
DlE lGNORANCE: getting my way is not my motive..its a mutual decision, no?
ALEXIS IS 18: ok vik.
DlE lGNORANCE: we both get our way, only if thats what you honeslty want
DlE lGNORANCE: hmm, im thinking not this weekend, but the one after that
DlE lGNORANCE: meeting at the grass park
ALEXIS IS 18: ya, and you know all about honesity.
DlE lGNORANCE: argh, low blow
DlE lGNORANCE: i deserve it, i know
DlE lGNORANCE: it seems that the more i say just feeds the fire..
ALEXIS IS 18: Are you saying that you have server mood changes?
ALEXIS IS 18: Alternating moods?
DlE lGNORANCE: quite possibly
DlE lGNORANCE: but doesnt everyone sometimes?
ALEXIS IS 18: yes no?
DlE lGNORANCE: yes and no, dependant on so many things
ALEXIS IS 18: are they episdes
DlE lGNORANCE: you mean do they ever subside and i go back to thinking like i did?
DlE lGNORANCE: sometimes, but like i said, im only human
DlE lGNORANCE: no ones perfect..
ALEXIS IS 18: do you have mania?
DlE lGNORANCE: i get manic about somethings, yes
ALEXIS IS 18: what
DlE lGNORANCE: dont you sometimes?
DlE lGNORANCE: about my ideas..
ALEXIS IS 18: dont spin
DlE lGNORANCE: about my future
DlE lGNORANCE: i also get depressed about them too sometimes
DlE lGNORANCE: bi-polar and manic-depressive are synonymous..
ALEXIS IS 18: i dont think you have Bipolar disorder.
DlE lGNORANCE: neither do i, i think i have the human-disorder
DlE lGNORANCE: and i just refuse to stop being myself and try to be
DlE lGNORANCE: "normal"
ALEXIS IS 18: I think you like to confuse your self.
ALEXIS IS 18: thats your disorder.
DlE lGNORANCE: why would you think i like being confused?
DlE lGNORANCE: why would anyone like being confused?
DlE lGNORANCE: if anything..i have more "moments of clarity" than most
DlE lGNORANCE: at least i think
ALEXIS IS 18: You tell me vik, what's the game, you get bored, you start shit?
DlE lGNORANCE: not in real life..aol maybe
DlE lGNORANCE: when i talk shit on aol, all it is, is a game
DlE lGNORANCE: cuz im talking shit to strangers, who shouldnt give a damn what i think
ALEXIS IS 18: Don't pretend you don't know what I am saying.  well dont start your shit with me on aol.
DlE lGNORANCE: i would never, youre not a stranger
ALEXIS IS 18: well i feel that you are.
DlE lGNORANCE: i may be strange, but you know me a lot more than someone youve never met before
DlE lGNORANCE: anyone who reads my ideas do..
DlE lGNORANCE: did you feel i was a stranger while we were hanging out today?
ALEXIS IS 18: Don't confuse honesty with you just running your mouth off.  oh so cuz i dont read your stuff ...what?
DlE lGNORANCE: but you did read my stuff..
DlE lGNORANCE: enough of it to know me better than a stranger
ALEXIS IS 18: Tell me why you feel you can tell me one thing and say then tell me the deference?

ALEXIS IS 18: how do you thing i feel?
DlE lGNORANCE: better than if i didnt tell you anything, and you later found out how i felt on your own
ALEXIS IS 18: You know, its not worth it to me. Your not worth this much trouble.
DlE lGNORANCE: i know, i shouldnt be..but thats just what i get for being honest
ALEXIS IS 18: I am not going through this game again.
DlE lGNORANCE: when i told you what i told you earlier..i felt it to be true..i didnt pre-meditate any lies
ALEXIS IS 18: oh ya, now i feel better.
DlE lGNORANCE: i just hadnt considered all the factors, before making my decisions..that what my problem is
DlE lGNORANCE: im impulsive..
DlE lGNORANCE: i dont think shit through before acting
DlE lGNORANCE: and im really sorry when my imperfections hurt other people..
ALEXIS IS 18: Well, you wont have to worry about doing something on impulse with me any more.
DlE lGNORANCE: meaning what alexis?
ALEXIS IS 18: Meaning I don't want a part of you any more.  It seems I was impulsive too.
DlE lGNORANCE: i am almost positive if circumstances were different, thing could be better between us..if you didnt live so far and we could feasibly spend more time together
DlE lGNORANCE: if you werent moving to killeen soon
DlE lGNORANCE: if your mom was more lenient
ALEXIS IS 18: bla bla bla
ALEXIS IS 18: bye
DlE lGNORANCE: you wont help with the group then?
ALEXIS IS 18: no
DlE lGNORANCE: that really sucks
ALEXIS IS 18: your going to be great, just not with my help.
ALEXIS IS 18: like you need it. lol
DlE lGNORANCE: i would really like it
DlE lGNORANCE: but if youre not willing, ill just have to try a little bit harder
DlE lGNORANCE: and itll take me a little longer
ALEXIS IS 18: Oh, are you sure?  
DlE lGNORANCE: try a lot harder maybe
ALEXIS IS 18: Or are you being impulsive?
DlE lGNORANCE: im almost positive..
DlE lGNORANCE: i can only hope
DlE lGNORANCE: no guarantees with me, you know that
ALEXIS IS 18: ya thats great vik, whatever you want.
DlE lGNORANCE: argh, the last thing i wanted was to make another enemy..
ALEXIS IS 18: i need to go.
DlE lGNORANCE: i have too many of those
DlE lGNORANCE: have a good night alexis..and please believe me when i tell you im sorry
ALEXIS IS 18: oh, i am not your enemy, i will forget all about you.
DlE lGNORANCE: :[
DlE lGNORANCE: youre very sharp alexis..
DlE lGNORANCE: its a shame i fucked up
ALEXIS IS 18: Don't be sorry oh no. please don't make that effort, that would just break my fucking heart.
DlE lGNORANCE: im not looking for your sympathy in being sorry
DlE lGNORANCE: once again, im just being honest
ALEXIS IS 18: good, no sympathy here.
DlE lGNORANCE: telling you how i really feel
DlE lGNORANCE: it just amazes me what i get what i tell the truth sometimes
DlE lGNORANCE: -what +when
ALEXIS IS 18: You always tell me how you really feel, then your being implosive.
DlE lGNORANCE: huh?
ALEXIS IS 18: you tell me?
DlE lGNORANCE: im not too sure what you mean by implosive
ALEXIS IS 18: your get it, or you wont.
ALEXIS IS 18: You always tell me how you really feel, then your being implosive.
-Alexis
DlE lGNORANCE: i still dont get what you mean by that
DlE lGNORANCE: implosive means self-desructive right
ALEXIS IS 18: bye bye crazzy man.
DlE lGNORANCE: bye bye pretty girl
ALEXIS IS 18:  Free daily extended Horoscope for Aquarius from Astrology.com
ALEXIS IS 18: opps wrong im
ALEXIS IS 18: bye
DlE lGNORANCE: later, so this is it? no more alexis?
DlE lGNORANCE: whoa..how uncanny
DlE lGNORANCE: that horoscope
ALEXIS IS 18: No more vik. I need a man not a boy who thinks he can. -- spice girls.
DlE lGNORANCE: i need someone who isnt about to leave
ALEXIS IS 18: well thats not me, so it all worked out for you huh vik?
ALEXIS IS 18:   Aquarius - The Water Bearer
DlE lGNORANCE: truth hurts sometimes..
ALEXIS IS 18: dam wrong im
DlE lGNORANCE: :[
DlE lGNORANCE: whoa
DlE lGNORANCE: werent we talking about spiritualism
DlE lGNORANCE: and mystery movies or something
DlE lGNORANCE: wrong IM my ass, both of those
ALEXIS IS 18: yes i am talking to my g/f kim.
ALEXIS IS 18: i was telling her they are full of shit and how much i hate man.
ALEXIS IS 18: so if you dont have any thing more to say to me i will go now.
DlE lGNORANCE: alexis..dont you see how im just trying to protect myself here?  if i fell in love with you and you moved away soon, id go crazier than i already am
ALEXIS IS 18: have fun being protected, vik.
DlE lGNORANCE: have fun in killeen alexis..
ALEXIS IS 18: killeen?
DlE lGNORANCE: good luck with your peace garden and fountain
DlE lGNORANCE: poteet i mean
DlE lGNORANCE: id like to see it one day..
ALEXIS IS 18: killeen who is in killeen?  your ex?
DlE lGNORANCE: no
DlE lGNORANCE: the double ee's confused meeh
DlE lGNORANCE: so if youre never going to talk to me again, take pics of it or something
DlE lGNORANCE: and email me: rightprotect@hotmail.com
ALEXIS IS 18: oh...confused.
DlE lGNORANCE: and please reconsider helping me with the group..
DlE lGNORANCE: you would just speed things up..for everyone
ALEXIS IS 18: Sorry that's off the table, you really hurt me today.
DlE lGNORANCE: ack
ALEXIS IS 18: i dont think i could ever thing about you.
ALEXIS IS 18: think not thing**
DlE lGNORANCE: im sorry for doubting so much alexis..i mean..earlier you even brought up going with me tomorrow to court..
DlE lGNORANCE: and when we parted i said, "see you tomorrow" and you seemed a bit hesistant
ALEXIS IS 18: You did hurt me, but its OK to you cuz you where honest. so?
ALEXIS IS 18: shit happons?
ALEXIS IS 18: In five mints I am going to bed.
DlE lGNORANCE: maybe if i had a car..
DlE lGNORANCE: or you
ALEXIS IS 18: what.
DlE lGNORANCE: then it wouldnt be as big a problem seeing you as much as id want to
ALEXIS IS 18: aww
DlE lGNORANCE: i cant say your feistiness doesnt spark my interest more alexis..
DlE lGNORANCE: was that a sarcastic aww?
ALEXIS IS 18: >sarcastic (AWWWWW)!
ALEXIS IS 18: 2 min
DlE lGNORANCE: i hope someday you can forgive me girly
DlE lGNORANCE: and when i win the nobel peace prize..ill be sure to thank you
ALEXIS IS 18: i dont forgive people, i forget them.
ALEXIS IS 18: please dont thank me.
DlE lGNORANCE: thats so predictable though
DlE lGNORANCE: forgiveness is devine
ALEXIS IS 18:
DlE lGNORANCE: no, you gave me confidence in myself..reminded me that i wasnt crazy for thinking the things i did
DlE lGNORANCE: and
DlE lGNORANCE: you donated some gasoline for my stomach
DlE lGNORANCE: :P
DlE lGNORANCE: so thank you alexis...i hope i can make it up to you someday
ALEXIS IS 18: yahoo-ray times up.
DlE lGNORANCE: i truly am sorry, believe it or not
ALEXIS IS 18: bye bye.
DlE lGNORANCE: bye bye
DlE lGNORANCE: have a good  day at school tomorrow
DlE lGNORANCE: im sorry
ALEXIS IS 18 signed off at 2:28:05 AM.