102003

 

Arcata, CA

Monday October 20, 2003

     7:20am  I woke up around 6:30am in the barn. People were slowly getting up. I wanted a cigarette and I went around hunting for snipes. I got a little bit and put a little pinner together. I smoked by my shrine and lit some candles. I was contemplating going back to sleep, because it was still kind of dark. Then it got lighter and more people got up. Somebody handed me a Ziploc and told me, "Here's some reefer, roll a joint." We got all high and baked. I am feeling a lot better, actually. The sickness has not gone away fully. I am sure as soon as I walk into town, it'll come back. I feel much better, now. Smokeable better. My throat is a lot better.

                   Oh yeah, we have a little gathering here in the morning. I am going to take a picture of all the people who are up right now at 7:21am.

                   Maybe I'll hold off on the picture.

     7:38am  More people are up at the barn now. Two dogs are running around in the field chasing each other. Molly and some other dog. Roofie. I'll get a picture of them.

     7:49am  Stupid me, I had turned the flash on to take a picture of the dogs, then changed my mind. I had forgotten to turn the flash off so I stooped down and accidentally hit the exposure button and took a picture. It sucks. I got a pretty good picture of a part of the barn, I guess.

                   Another dog just came into the scene. Devin's dog Chewy. The black and white dog is Chewy. Then, the black puppy is Molly. The other bigger dog is Roofie.

     8:00am  I just took a picture of Devin, this eleven year old kid who crashed at the barn last night. He put on some Halloween mask we found at the barn.  

                   Oh yeah, I just recently got word that the owner of the property, the farmer, he doesn't care if people crash here. Which I had kind of assumed because nobody told me anything in over a month. I guess as long as we keep it clean.

     8:16am  More people woke up. I asked Devin if I could tell him my story, because kids love my shit. He was really wanting to hear it, but other people woke up and ruined it. Annoying Jonathan woke up. Ugh, I genuinely dislike Jonathan. I just don't like him. He was all interrupting my story to Devin saying, "I think he's full of shit." I miss the times when Jonathan wasn't at the barn.
                   The sun will come up soon. It's kind of cloudy, so I'm thinking the field is going to stay wet.

                   Oh yeah, I've been singing this NOFX song in my head. It's called Gonnhorrhea Syphillis or something. I don't remember the exact name. I'll be sure to have it so you can download the song. It goes:

    Sitting in a room waiting for some news.
    Sitting in a room with white knuckles.
    Not feeling so good.
    I didn't do the things I should.

    I say, "Doc, tell me what's wrong with me?"
    He had this expression.
    He didn't know what to say.
    "It seems like you've contracted a new strand."

    How could this happen to me?
    Another victim, another casualty.
    From fucking casually.
    Another casualty.

    All the times I should've worn my jimmy-hat.
    All the times I said, "What the fuck."
    I won't look back.
    That's not for me.

    I didn't listen to reason . . . now look at me."

     8:28am  Umm, the people who own this property are making their first appearance. They got a couple shotguns, so I've been told. They are walking over here.

                   Actually, they never came over.

     9:40am  I'm going to get Devin, this eleven year old kid, to sing some song into my recorder, for the book.

Devin:
     "I know you wanna leave me, but I can't let you go-ho.
     And I know you want to eat me, but I can't let you ho.
     Oh no, I can't let you ho.
     Oh well, Oh well, Oh well.
     Tell me more, tell me more, does he have a big cock?
     Tell me more, tell me more, does he even suck twat?
     Tell me more, tell me more, does she have a big rack?
     Tell me more, tell me more, does she even smoke crack?"

                   That was Devin.

     9:42am  I just took a picture of Devin on top of all the logs.  

     9:45am  I'm walking into town. I'm going to go see if I got my glasses today.

     9:49am  Shit! I just realized I left my water bottle at the barn. That sucks. I'm not going to go back for it. Earlier this guy at the barn told me, "You're going to put all this on the Internet? Don't do that! Then everyone is going to say, "Hey, we don't need any money!" I told him, "Yeah! That's exactly what's going to happen!"

                    I feel thoroughly better today. I'm still kind of sick. This is going to be looming over my head still for three months or so, that I have an STD. But man, as bad as that would be, like I say, I am ready to die. My story would be out and it would still happen. I am ready for it. It doesn't scare me that much. What terrifies me is the thought of me always being sick and not being able to walk a lot.

     10:00am  I'm at The Endeavor and I signed in on Rosendo's list.

     11:25am  Rosendo just came out and told me he has to go get the check. He said he has everything in order. He's going to go get the check and I'm supposed to meet him back here at 1:30pm. I'll go back to the barn.

     12:31pm  I just got out of The Endeavor. I ate, seconds. Man, right before, when I was standing in line for food I got really dizzy. I thought I was going to fall. I got this cold sweat and my pupils started dilating and my eyes went out of focus. Luckily, I made it to a table with my tray and sat down. My cold sweat was going. It was scary. Just from standing up. I sat down and it slowly got better. I'm scared it might happen again. Sometimes I think if I would've had my glasses, it wouldn't have happened because I would be able to see clearly.

     12:39pm  I ate and now I'm going to walk to the public library close by. I'm supposed to see Rosendo at 1:30pm. I'll get on the Internet for about an hour.

     12:41pm  Damnit, the library is closed. I wonder what day it is.

     12:45pm  Gin and Tonic just hooked me up with the last of her soda. I didn't ask, she offered and I accepted. I appreciate it.

     1:11pm  About five minutes ago, I talked to Rosendo and he said that they had talked to Kit Boisvert and she had denied it. They did, finally, find the check. It had been misfiled under M, for some reason. But, it's already too late because they had put a stop on it and reissue another. So, Rosendo is going to drive to Eureka and pick up the new check himself. I told him, "Hey, is there any possibility this could happen today? Because if there is I will wait around." He said he could call. Let's see what happens.

     1:28pm  This sucks, I'm still waiting.

     1:34pm  Keith just hooked me up with a Marlboro Red. I appreciate it, brother.

                   Cool, Keith told me good luck on the book.

     2:50pm  Yeehaw! I have, in my wallet, the check for my glasses! I'm going to get my glasses! I have an appointment at the place in Bayshore Mall, Site for Sore Eyes. I'll get an eye exam and they might be able to give me my glasses today. If not, tomorrow. Rosendo already hooked me up with two bus tickets to get out there and back. So, when five 'o clock comes around I gotta be there. Let me go check the bus schedule and see if I have time to walk to the barn, or not. I'll go to the barn and get my stuff. I only brought my Adidas bag this morning. It's so cool that I can leave my stuff there and not worry about it being stolen. Then, I'll be on my way to get my glasses. Man, it's going to be great!

     2:51pm  I checked the bus schedule. The bus to Eureka is already late. It's supposed to come at 2:45pm. The next one comes at 3:20pm. I have like half an hour to walk to the barn and come back.

                  Oh shit, I forgot my water bottle at the barn this morning.

     3:00pm  In the plaza, I walked past this girl and she was holding a sign that said, "I will listen to you." That's all it said. I asked her, "You'll listen to me? I can tell you a great story." She said, "Oh, that's cool! But, I got an appointment right now. I'll look for you in the plaza later, though." I walked off towards the barn and she yelled, "I'll be looking for you!" It's going to have to be after my eye appointment. I want my glasses, damnit.

     3:50pm  I'm walking away from the barn. Mark was there and I talked him into to smoking me out. I told him, "Hey Mark, I don't suppose you would want to smoke me out before my eye exam?" and he said sure. Man, at first I thought someone stole my binoculars, but Charlie still had them. Mark's dog Molly, who used to be Crystal Brandi's dog is really energetic. Charlie showed up and he brought some food! Perfect timing Charlie.

                   I know I shouldn't be smoking because I'm sick, but oh well. I'm not perfect.

     4:08pm  I got to the bus station and saw all these people waiting. I asked, "I didn't miss the Eureka bus, did I?" They told me I had, that it came at 4:04pm. Damnit! So, I'm going to go spange up a donut and wait until 4:45pm, when the next one comes.

     4:14pm  Dave just gave me a quarter . . . then this other brother walked up and saw how I was recording this with my tape recorder, he's going to give me some change, too! Sweet! Donut!

                  Whoa, that was awesome. I have exactly enough for a donut.

     4:16pm  I just got my donut. A chocolate buttermilk, as usual. I'm going to walk back to The Endeavor and eat it.

                   Page 358, Victims of Future Shock. Good section. My mom should read this section.

                   "VICTIMS OF FUTURE SHOCK

                   When we combine the effects of decisional stress with sensory and cognitive overload, we produce common forms of individual maladaptation. For example, one widespread response to high-speed change is outright denial. The Denier's strategy is to "block out" unwelcome reality. When the demand for decisions reaches crescendo, he flatly refuses to take in new information. Like the disaster victim whose face registers total disbelief, The Denier, too, cannot accept the evidence of his senses. Thus he concludes that things really are the same, and that all evidences of change are merely superficial. He finds comfort in such clichés as "young people were always rebellious" or "there's nothing new on the face of the earth," or "the more things change, the more they stay the same."
                   An unknowing victim of future shock, The Denier sets himself up for personal catastrophe. His strategy for coping increases the likelihood that when he finally is forced to adapt, his encounter with change will come in the form of a single massive life crisis, rather than a sequence of manageable problems."

                   I just got off the bus in Eureka. I'm dumb. Someone had told me the glasses place was by Mervyn's. So, I didn't get off at the main stop, thinking the bus would stop again closer to it. It didn't and it went totally past the mall. It took me a little bit further, so I got a short walk. I'm all late for my appointment. I can blame it on the traffic, though. Hehe. This sucks.

     5:30pm  I just walked into Mervyn's. It wasn't that long a walk.

     6:17pm  I just finished up at the Site for Sore Eyes place. I did an eye exam and picked out some frames. I had been playing with the idea of getting some dorky Buddy Holly type glasses that would make me look like Waldo from Where's Waldo. They didn't have any like that. I just got some regular ones. They should be ready by 3pm tomorrow. One more day.

     6:31pm  I finished up at the glasses place and came outside to the bus stop. I want to go to The Raven House, since I'm in Eureka with nothing to do. At the bus stop I see Ashtray, this fifteen year old chick I had met at The Raven House one time. She asked me if I was going to The Raven and I told her yeah. She told me I should trade her my bus ticket for a ticket that works on a bus that is coming sooner. I didn't much care, so I did. Her friend gave me the rest of his menthol cigarette before the bus came. I'm on the bus now.

                   Ashtray got her tongue pierced and she showed it to me. Little fifteen year old kid. What for, Ashtray? She said, "Sexual reasons."

     6:44pm  Ashtray grabbed my tape recorder. "Ashtray says wassup and homedawg's a real nice guy and he has some great advice." I'm homedawg, hehe.

     6:55pm  I just got off the bus.

     9:48pm  I finished up at The Raven House. I had to copy and paste my journal onto their computer again. They must have formatted it. I backed up my shit off my emails. Just like what you're reading now.

     9:56pm  This sucks. I'm out here trying to hitchhike back to Arcata and nobody is picking me up.

     10:18pm  Larry, the nice bus driver, gave me a courtesy ride. I really appreciate it.

     10:27pm  Man, that was awesome! That bus driver gave me a courtesy ride! Dave (Kerouac's owner) had come up trying to hitchhike to Arcata, too. When he walked up he was all, "Let's see who gets a ride first." After a little bit I saw the city bus pull over to let someone off right in front of Dave. When I noticed I might have enough time to run up there, I went and told Dave, "I'm going to hit him up for a courtesy ride." Sure enough, the driver gave me a ride. He must've recognized me from earlier. He was the same one who took me to Bayshore Mall. At first he was all, "Oh, I don't give courtesy rides," and I told him, "Thanks anyway Sir, drive carefully." He smiled at me and waved me on! He didn't take Dave and this other dude who was trying to hitchhike!

                     I got off earlier than the bus station, over on Samoa. I had thought I would go see what was up in the plaza, but since I had eaten at The Raven House and didn't need to spange up a donut, I decided to get off early. That way, I would be closer to the barn. I'm going to walk to the barn and go to sleep.

     10:40pm  I'm at the barn. I'm going to go to bed.

Next day..