102902

 

San Antonio, TX

Tuesday October 29, 2002

                   Ahhh, another interesting day. Let me tell you about yesterday first though. I didn't get a chance to write about it because my lazy family was on the computer all night, so I might not be as detailed.
                   Okay, remember the computer shop I got hired at last week? Well they had told me that if I didn't start Thursday or Friday, then Monday for sure. All last week they never called so I told myself, "I'm going to wake up early and just show up Monday morning at nine." If anything, I was going to make a good impression and let my boss know I was eager to work. On Sunday, my mom actually came up to me and gave me some money. She said, "You start work tomorrow right? Well, here is some money for a bus-pass and you can pay me back when you get your first check." She gave me seventeen dollars and I told her that monthly passes were twenty. She told me that was all she had though.
                   Sunday night I crashed out around midnight and told my mom to wake me up when she left for work. She woke me up around six thirty. I took a shower and got dressed. I was hungry so I scoured the kitchen for food and found a couple boxes of raisins. I put them in my pocket, grabbed my walking stick and water bottle and headed out the door. When I got outside it was drizzling a little and real misty. I went back in the house and went to get grab this Tommy Hilfiger raincoat I had found for free(yeah, like I'm going to pay for anything by Tommy Hilfiger). It looked real dumb and I said screw it. It was just a little misty outside. My older sister had woken up and offered me this cool windbreaker with a hood that she had bought when she lived in Italy. It fit great. Cool. It was about seven in the morning.
                   Since traffic is heavy in the mornings I didn't want to take the chance of the bus that takes me to the grocery store(where the bus layover is at fifty of the hour) being late. I walked all the way to the grocery store which is a little over a mile away. I got to the store at around seven forty. I went inside and headed to the deli to see how much food I could get for a dollar. I asked the clerk and he made me a bacon and egg taco. I tucked it in my pocket and walked outside. I saw all the buses there except the 605 which takes me closer to the computer shop. I was bummed out. Maybe I had missed it? Nah, I would've seen it. I walked to the stop and ate my taco, hoping the bus would get there soon. I finished my taco and still no bus. It was like seven fifty five. I rolled me a cigarette and puffed away on it. I always need a cigarette after I eat. Sure enough, when I finished my cigarette around eight, the bus came. I hopped on and put a dollar in the thingy and got a transfer. Now I was left with fifteen dollars flat.
                   I rode the bus to Prue and Horn, to the entrance of the neighborhood where my friend Carlos lives. The 604 that takes me to the computer shop on Dezavala runs through there. I wasn't sure when it was coming so I just walked the route turning around every so often. I ended up walking all the way to the computer shop and it never came. Like two miles. Oh well, I got some good exercise that morning.
                   I had arrived at about eight fifty. Hehe I walk fast with my stick. I went inside the shop and saw no one. I peered in some more and this girl came out and told me that Jim, the head guy, wasn't there yet. I told her okay and that I was going outside to smoke a cigarette. I propped my stick against the wall and sat down at a chair, pulled a bill out of my wallet and rolled a cigarette real fast. I stepped outside and puffed away on my fag. I was about halfway through when I saw Tabitha, the receptionist pull up in a car. She got out, smiled hello at me and I told her good morning. Then right when I was done with my smoke, Jim comes out from the shop. It seems like there's another entrance somewhere, because I hadn't seen him come in the front. Jim tells me that the parts he was expecting were still not in, and he would give me a call as soon as he needed me.
                   I just got another day off. The other night I had received an email from Chasity, my ex-girlfriend, telling me that my dog was sick and needed to go to the vet and if I could take him. I replied back telling her that I was supposed to start work on Monday, but I would explain the situation to my boss and see if I could leave a little early or come in late. Here, I'll show you the mails:

>Hello Victor-
>
>We haven't talked for a while, I hope you are doing well. I'm
>writing you because there is something wrong with Stuart. I don't
>know what but he needs to go to the vet. He has a cut behind his
>ear and I don't know how he got it. The best I can figure is that
>he has been scratching it and just made a big gash. Its like a flap
>of skin and it looks like it may be infected. I also think he may
>have worms. The reason I'm telling you this is because I would
>really appreciate it if you could help me out with him. I have very
>little time free to take him to the vet. There is one right across
>the street but by the time I get home from work it is closed. I was
>wondering if you would take him one day this week during the day and
>get him seen. Of course, I will pay for it. If you can or you
>can't, please let me know.
>
>-Chasity

chasity,
     i start work on monday and im scheduled to work monday-friday, 9am-6pm. i will talk to
my boss and tell him i need a day off, even though im just starting. i will explain the
situation to him and let him know its an emergency. i will be there for my son, even if that
means risking this job.
     im getting hired at a computer shop. i will be building computers for a school district.
theyre hiring a team of 4 people to meet a contract in 3 months, so its a temporary
position. i am sure once they see my skills they will keep me on permanently though.
     chasity, it really pains me that you only contact me when you need something. i cant
believe you expect to take stuart to florida with you. if he meant so much to you that you
have to steal him from me, im sure you could make the time to tend to his needs now.
regardless, i will be there for him, but do you still plan on stealing him away from me too?
like youve done with all my other things.
     i asked you before if when you moved, and i still hadnt cleared up the issue at the bank,
if you were going to take my computer and you told me that you wouldnt. your precious credit
would remain the same in florida, so that leads me to believe youre keeping my stuff out of
spite. or that youre just lying to me some more.
     it seems like you are having so much fun with my toys, that i worked damn hard for, and
you couldnt bear to be without them. even though they are blatantly mine. i had left them
with you because i thought i could trust you, you were supposedly my best friend. and when
you saw the opportunity to justify keeping my stuff with the whole bank thing, you did. i
could have stored my things in my mothers garage, but i was nice and let you hold them, only
to find out you wont give them back to me now. thats a really rotten thing to do to someone
who devoted himself to you loyally for 4 years.

i will call or email you about when i will take care of my son, but mark my words, i
will.

- victor

then i sent:

i asked diana if she could take stuart to the vet monday and she said yes. she should be calling you.
- victor

her response to my email:
>Victor-
>
>
>I really don't want you to jeapordize a job just to take Stuart to
>the vet. I have arranged to leave work early one day and take him
>to the vet. Tell Diana not to worry about it.
>
>Look, the whole reason I even asked you, was to try to give YOU a
>role to play in Stuart's life. I know you miss him and I know you
>love him. I have no problem with you seeing Stuart, but like any
>good mother, I have to know that he would be safe while he is with
>you.
>
>You really need to get over yourself and making yourself out to be
>some kind of martyr. I haven't stolen anything from you. We had a
>deal about the computer and when I leave, I am going to have to pay
>that debt to the bank. I am not going to do it out of the kindness
>of my heart. I know that having shitty credit means nothing to you
>but it does to me. You can play high and mighty with me all you
>want but I know the real deal and this situation was avoidable from
>the start and you know it.
>
>The only thing you care about is the computer so stop making out
>like I stole all your things. The table and the end table, I made
>clear even while we were buying them, that I would take them if we
>split up. The deal was always that you would get the bed. If you
>want the bed, come get it. I never said that you couldn't have it.
>Don't you forget either about all the shit of mine that I let you
>take in the U-Haul that is lost to me. Stuart's clippers, my
>extension cord, my toaster. These are all things I've had to
>replace. You have cost me a huge amount of money since I've known
>you. And you didn't "work" so hard for any of your shit. You got
>hit by a car, then you settled a lawsuit. No effort on your part,
>as usual.
>
>As a matter of fact, I have changed my mind about you seeing Stuart.
> It's really unfortunate but for you to see Stuart, I have to deal
>with you and that is something I'm not willing to do. There is
>always a price to to get the things you want, for this, you would
>have to be civil and sane when you are around me. I don't have any
>faith that you can do that. I regret contacting you again. I
>didn't "need" you to do shit for me, I was offering you an
>opportunity and once again you have blown it. Blame yourself for a
>change, Victor, and take the responsibility.
>-Chasity
>

my reply:

chasity,
     if you wanting me to be a part of stuarts life was the real reason you asked me, why didnt
you just come out and say it? why must you lie so much? why beat around the bush and give
me some bullshit reason like you cant make the time. i would think our son would be worth
it, dont you? dont insult my intelligence like that chasity. im so sorry if i havent come
over to see him. it was, after all, you who told me never to come back to your apartment.
     soon, i will be paying back the bank and fixing your precious credit. oh, you dont think
i worked hard for my shit? why dont you try getting hit by a car sometime. i just lucked
out in not being able to remember any pain, but that doesnt mean i didnt go through it. i
have the scars and my tremor to prove it. my computer is not the only thing i care about
chasity. i give a shit about humanity too. sorry if thats such a crime. i think everyone
should care that we are destroying our own world.
     dont you remember how happy i made you because i accepted you just like you were. you
returned that favor and made me happy too, by accepting me how i was. dont you remember
recently you reminiscing about how when you wanted a sonic slush, i would go get it for you
and make you happy? dont you remember you attempting suicide because you thought i didnt
want you?
     youre right, this shit was avoidable from the start. i should never have trusted you
with any of my shit to begin with. so its my own fault for thinking we were still friends.
little did i know.
     im not the one whos changed. if anything, i am better than before. everyone else is
crazy and ignorant to the truth. soon, i will get my global-voice and broadcast the truth to
everyone, and change peoples minds. in this world of conformists, you have to be crazy to
make a difference. just think of all the great ideas that have been thought of that
ignorance hasnt let be heard.
     like ive said before, no one can stop me, just get in my way. i will have my day
chasity, and i dont plan on speaking nicely about all those who doubted me. i do plan on
forgiving everyone though. all i ask for is an apology. my ideas are in the best interest
of everyone, not just me.

"The trouble with the world is not that people know too little, but they know so many things that ain't so."
- Mark Twain

- victor

                   Okay, so back to my day. Since I had a day off, I wanted to go take Stuart to the vet. I called Chasity's cell phone but no one answered. I assumed she was at work. I rode the 604 going back to the University Hospital Transfer Center. I checked the schedule of the 534, which went to Chasity's work and it didn't come for like another forty five minutes. I was hungry so I went to the hospital to go snag some Boosts off the sixth floor, like I always do. I went up there, said hi to everyone and told them I was going to go get a drink like I always do and they smiled and said okay. When I went in the nourishment room I saw they were all out of Boosts, so I had to settle for this vanilla flavored stuff called Nutrete, I think. They have ten more calories than Boost, 250. I put two in my cargo-short pockets and headed back for the elevator.
                   I went down the elevator to the buses and remembered I had money and was supposed to get a bus-pass. Thing is, I only had fifteen bucks. At first, I thought I was going to ask the lady real nice if she would let me have one for fifteen bucks. Then, I had an idea. Hmm, I was going to ask people waiting for the bus if they were students and if they could go buy a pass for me if I gave them the money. Students get them for only ten bucks. I looked outside and didn't see any young people. I guessed students would be in class right now, not the bus place, hehe. Then I thought maybe I'll just tell her I go to UTSA and pull out ten bucks and then say, "Damn, I forgot my ID, I'm sorry. But, I really, really need my bus pass." Then something dawned on me. I grabbed my wallet and started looking for something.
                   You see, I had attended ITT Technical Institute about a year ago and they had given me an ID card. The cool thing was, that they had messed up and hadn't put an expiration date on it. I thought I may have thrown it away. Eureka! I found it! I pulled it out and asked the lady if it would work. She asked me, "Are you still a student at ITT tech?" I said, "Yes, of course, we just had our exams, they were killer." She then said, "Do you have the thing that you're supposed to get from the school that you get a reduced-fare pass with?" I told her, "No, I just thought to get the pass right now, this is my last ten dollars." She gave me a smirk and pulled open her drawer and took out a bus pass and the student thing that I was supposed to get from the school. She told me, "That'll be ten dollars." I paid her and thanked her. Haha, I got a bus pass for ten dollars and I can keep getting them at that price because I got the student card too! No more bumming fifteen cents for transfers! Suckers.
                   The 534 finally came and I rode it to Chasity's work. I walked in the mall and through the food court to the store she worked at. I rode the escalator up to the third floor and walked to the back where she worked. I asked for Chasity and this girl told me she was on break in the food court. I rode the escalator to the level where the food court was on and started looking for Chasity. I saw her sitting there with a group of coworkers eating. I probably embarrassed her because I had my walking stick with me, but I don't give a shit. As soon as she saw me she got up and walked to me giving me this fake smile. I'm sure she came up to me because she didn't want the crazy guy getting close to her friends. I told her that the computer parts hadn't come in and I couldn't start working today, that I wanted to take Stuart to the vet. She shook her head and said, "No, I already made an appointment, bye." I told her later and walked back outside to the bus stop. What a big giant waste of time that was.
                   I went outside and was dreading catching the bus back to the hospital because I hate doubling back without accomplishing something. I then remembered that the U-Haul office was close to the mall. I rolled another cigarette, smoked it, and caught the 4 bus that took me to the U-Haul place on San Pedro and Basse. I got off the bus, walked to the office and asked to speak to Al, the storage guy manager. Al wasn't there(he never is) and I talked to his underling, some guy named Alex. I told him who I was and that I had received a letter telling me that they had put a lien on my stuff and were going to auction it if I didn't pay the full amount before December. I told Alex that I was starting a job at a computer shop tomorrow and I would be able to make payments soon. Alex asked me how much I would be able to come up with in a week and I told him I wouldn't get paid for two. I told him maybe I could get a loan for two hundred and he said that he might be able to convince his boss Al to do a plea-bargain and let me have my stuff back if I promised to get it out of their storage in twenty four hours after I paid the money. I was elated, and told him I would somehow get the money.
                   I was happy, caught the bus back to the mall and from there to the hospital. I caught the bus over to the grocery store and caught the 622 closer to my moms. I walked home and that's where I'm going to stop with yesterday.

                   Today, I woke up and got on the computer and checked my mail. I had written Chasity an email with the subject, "1st warning" the other day. Here I'll show you:

chasity,
     listen, last night i spent some time organizing all the emails from you and me, and have a whole "chasity saga" story ready to be mass-mailed to everyone in san antonio. a lot of people have read my ideas and agree with me, and would love to read anything else i send them. its all a true story, i havent made any of it up. maybe ill even get it published someday.
     its a really interesting tale of how alive ignorance is in this world. i wouldnt think youd have a problem with me publicizing it. that is, unless you are ashamed of the truth.
     i want to see my son damnit, if i dont soon and you end up taking him from me, you will feel the wrath of victor. like i said, all i need is a little compliance and an apology and i will forgive you and everyone else whos doubted me and the power of the internet i plan to harness soon.
     i will do this only as a last resort. i still have some other options to explore. if you plan on dicking me over some more, i wont think twice about ruining you and your thieving ways. youve made it so easy for me. itll be simple. you have brought this all on your self chasity. are you prepared to pay up? let me know. want me to send you the mails so you can see exactly what everyone else will?
     the ball is in your court chasity, how will you play it? let me show you exactly how crazy i really am, you thief.

- victor

p.s. oh yeah, do you think of me everytime you use that vibrator i bought for you?

                   Chasity forgot that I knew her password to her Hotmail account, hehe. I am able to check if she's read her email or not. She hasn't checked it in a couple days. I can't wait till she reads it. From being on her account I also have her dad's email address. I plan to email her father my ideas soon. Her dad is a smart guy who works with computers too. I'm sure hell see how what I plan to do is truly possible.
                   Well anyway, today I called U-Haul and talked to Alex. He told me that he had talked to his boss, and as he suspected Al told him he wasn't going to help me. That what I could do now was save up some money and show up at the auction and try and buy my stuff back. I told him that there was no way he was going to get four thousand dollars from auctioning my stuff and that they would take a loss either way. It really is in their best interest to let me pay them back gradually, once I have an income.
                   So I went to the www.uhaul.com and looked for an email address. I want to send U-Haul my ideas and see if they'll sympathize with me and make Al give me an extension. On the webpage they only have feedback forms to contact them. My ideas won't fit on any form, so I found the 800 number to call U-Haul at their headquarters or something. I was going to try and go over Al's head to get my stuff back. I wrote down the number in my pocket-calendar.
                   Then I started writing this journal entry. My stupid twin sister came home and told me to get off the computer. My sister moved out of the house not too long ago and her and her kid have been crashing at her friend's house. She still comes over every single day just to use the computer, eat and leave a mess. She's not working either and drives a car that is going to be repossessed soon that's sitting front of my mom's house. She was stupid enough to go buy another car that she's driving around and I can't wait till they repossess that one too. She's just like my mother, lazy and addicted to wasting her time looking for a husband online. She thinks she's Muslim too and is always saying stuff like asalamalakum, or however you spell that. She even wears a rag over her head and stuff.
                   Anyway, I got off the computer and went to use the phone so I could call U-Haul and try to get an email address. My sister had locked herself in my mothers room and was using the phone. I told her I needed it and she told me to fuck off. I went to the kitchen and grabbed a knife so I could pick the lock to the door. I came back and unlocked the door only to find her locked in the restroom. I yelled at her that I needed the phone and she said, "Tough, I'm using it." I went back to the computer room which used to be the garage, where the main phone line is, and disconnected it. Many times before when she's wanted the computer and I've told her to wait, she's just unplugged it. I felt totally justified in cutting her phone conversation. She stormed out of the room and went to her car for something and came back inside. I freaked and double-checked where my water-bottle and walking stick were. Whew, she hadn't taken those. I wondered what she went outside for. I went to my mother's room and got the cordless phone that was on the charger. I picked it up and pressed the button, but it was unresponsive. Laura had taken the battery out of the handset. That's what she went to her car for, to stash it. I went and grabbed the cordless from the living room and tried using it, only to find she had taken the phone cord from that one. Hmm, I grabbed the handset from the living room and went to my mom's room. I took the battery from the phone and tried to connect it to my moms, but it wouldn't work. I just disconnected the phone line and took the cordless to the living room. I plugged it in and it worked just fine. Hehe, got my way. She must think I'm dumb or something.
                   I called the 800 number I had written down and told them I needed an address to send mail to. They told me to go to their webpage and I told them my mail wont fit on their feedback form. They ended up giving me another 800 number to call. I called it and went through the same explanation again. They finally gave me an email address. I wrote it down and went to smoke a cigarette. When I got back my stupid sister had left. I called my mother's cell phone and left her a message saying that she needed to hear my side of the story before she heard lies from my sister.
                   Ahh, so anyway, my mom came home and started bitching me out. I told her that my sister doesn't have a job and is only using her resources and that she doesn't even live here. My mom is so ignorant that she can't even see when she's being taken advantage of, by her own daughter. Oh, but then she looks down on me for not having a job, even though I work my ass off here cleaning up after their laziness. My mom was all furious for what I did today, but didn't give my sister any shit at all. My mom told me, "You think the computer is yours. you're always on it. If Laura wants to come over and use it you have to let her." I responded, "Mom, I'm only on it when no one is home and I didn't tell Laura she couldn't use it. I told her what I was doing was important and she was going to have to wait." My mom then threatened, "Oh well, I think I'm going to put the computer away." Ha, like she's really going to lose her laziness-machine. I told her, "Well, do it already. What are you waiting for?" She all acted like she was serious and I just walked away.
                   Heehee, pretty soon I'm going to get everything I want. I'm going to make all the people who doubted me feel soooo stupid. Okay, this is where this chapter ends.

- Victor

Next day..