103103

 

Arcata, CA

Friday October 31, 2003

     9:02am  This really sucks. Other people's stuff is coming up missing at the barn. Some backpack that was missing just turned up stashed in someone else's squat in the barn. Why would they leave it at the barn if they were stealing it? A lot of shit is ending up missing.

                   The prime-suspect is this Red guy. The older dude in the dome tent. He's a big ass tweaker. And last night he had taken my mattress! If he hadn't been awake when I came home at midnight last night, and told me that he had taken it, he would've been crashed out in his tent with it and I wouldn't have gotten back. I would've had to sleep on the wood floor. Well, other people crash on it, but I've been using it for months now. I told Red this morning, "Of course you are going to be prime-suspect for anything that came up missing. I got confirmation, from you, that you took my mattress last night. And now that I recall, you were all kissing my ass and shaking my hand when I came in."
                   He knew it wasn't his. He came up with some bullshit like, "Oh, you were gone for a week." I told him, "Man, I have not been gone for a week. I am logging each day and even have pictures of every day I've been in this barn." So anyway, there's a lot of tension in the air. That old dude is dumb. He's even cleaning his laundry in the water trough right outside. It's not clean. I am positive people have pissed in that thing before. Crazy shit at the barn this morning.

     10:24am  I'm leaving the barn. Pretty interesting morning. Umm, not really. It was kind of lame. All this tension and aggro in the barn. Oh yeah, that dude who took my bed last night, Red, finally came up and apologized and shit. He smoked a bowl with me. He actually listened to some of my scripts.

                      I still don't like him because he took my stuff.

     10:44am  John is giving me a cigarette. Thanks, brother.

     10:45am  What was your name, brother? Joe said, "I've met you before. Remember I got you a donut that one morning."

     10:47am  That was badass. Zack came over because he had seen me pull out my tape recorder for John. He came over and asked me, "How long have you been writing this book for?" I told him all my shit. Well, most of it.

     11:10am  Wow, I had a damn good session with Joe. This guy who had a badass mountain bike in front of the donut shop. He came outside and I said, "Man, that's a bitching bike." He's like, "Thanks man, my boss got it for me." Joe works as a roofer. He's a young kid, maybe a bit older than me, I think. He listened to my whole story. When I told him how I've raced a couple times he asked me, "Oh, where do you work? What do you do?" I asked him if he had time for a story and he said sure.

                      And . . he gave me some spare change for a donut!

     11:21am  After that guy gave me some change I got a raised donut. They didn't have any chocolate buttermilk. I'm walking to The Endeavor now. Cool, I don't see a big line outside. Oh yeah . . I might have my package from my mom, hopefully.

     12:15pm  I just finished eating. When I got up there they told me, "You can have as much as you want." I pigged out. I got me a taco, some sandwich, some pasta and a chocolate cream pie. Mmm, I'm full. I'm walking to the Safeway now to go take a shit. I'll call Issa. Today is Friday, I think.

     12:42pm  I just finished taking a shit and I just realized I left my wallet in the bathroom, so I'm waiting for some girl who went in the bathroom to come out. I had tried calling Issa from Round Table Pizza before I came to take a shit, but it didn't ring. The answering machine came on right away. I'll try again now. Oh yeah, I shaved in the bathroom.

     12:49pm  Brian just hooked me up with a cigarette. I appreciate it, brother. In the Safeway parking lot. Thanks, bro.

     3:20pm  I was sitting there smoking a cigarette that I bummed off the old dude who I met in Berkeley. You know, the guy with the McClintock tobacco. He didn't have his hearing aid in, so he couldn't hear me. Anyways, this dude with some dreads is smoking us out . . . over by the cop-shop! Breakin' the law, breakin' the law, tan, tan.

     3:45pm  I forgot to tell you, Smiley had given me a Marlboro. I appreciate it, bro.

                   I forgot to tell you, it was Ray who smoked us out. Yeah, that's his name. The guy with the dreads.

     3:48pm  We are leaving from our smokeout by the police. Oh yeah, I leant Billy my poncho. It's cold.

     5:37pm  What was your name, dude? Chad just hooked me up with a handful of trim. His friend gave me a baggie to put it in. Excellent.

     6:11pm  I got this great idea! I told myself, "Hey, I can go up to the bathroom at the Jacoby's Storehouse on the third floor and change into my thermal bottoms. It's cold enough for them." That's exactly what I have done. I came up here, took a shit, put on my thermal bottoms, and I'm getting changed in the bathroom.

                    It's a cool little Halloween night. I'm tempted to go to the barn already. It should be cool later on, too. There should be a big fire. It's cold. Brrrr.

     6:29pm  Kevin just hooked me up with a cigarette. I appreciate it, bro.

     6:55pm  I overheard Cocapelli and Randi(she calls herself Sapphire now, but gave me exclusive permission to continue referring to her as Randi) saying they were going to puff on a bowl. I asked them if I could go and they said sure. So we came underneath these stairs and are toking. Cocapelli was nice enough to roll me a cigarette so I wouldn't have to take my gloves off. Thanks, man.

     7:22pm  I kind of got tired of the night Halloween scene at the plaza, so I went up to Mark and told him I was going to walk to the barn. He said he would head out there, too. I'm tired and I got dizzy. Oh yeah, I took pictures of little kids in costumes today.

 

I don't remember when. When it was still light.

     7:50pm  I am crashing out in the barn.

                   Okay, let me copy the rest of the last of Future Shock:

                   "Similar games, involving not tens, but hundreds of thousands, even millions of people, could be devised to help us formulate goals for the future. While televised players act out the role of high government officials attempting to deal with a crisis - an ecological disaster, for example - meetings of trade unions, women's clubs, church groups, student organizations and other constituencies might be held at which large numbers could view the program, reach collective judgments about the choices to be made, and forward those judgments to the primary players. Special switchboards and computers could pick up the advice or tabulate the yes-no votes and pass them on to the "decision-makers." Vast numbers of people could also participate from their own homes, thus opening the process to unorganized, otherwise non-participating millions. By imaginatively constructing such games, it becomes not only possible but practical to elicit futural goals from previously unconsulted masses.
                   Such techniques, still primitive today, will become fantastically more sophisticated in the years immediately ahead, providing us with a systematic way to collect and reconcile conflicting images of the preferable future, even from people unskilled in academic debate or parliamentary procedure.
                   It would be Pollyanna-like to expect such town halls of the future to be tidy or harmonious affairs, or that they would be organized in the same way everywhere. In some places, social future assemblies might be called into being by community organizations, planning councils or government agencies. Elsewhere, they might be sponsored by trade unions, youth groups, or individual, future-oriented political leaders. In other places, churches, foundations or voluntary organizations might initiate the call. And in still other places, they might arise not from a formal convention call, but as a spontaneous response to crisis.
                   It would similarly be a mistake to think of the goals drawn up by these assemblies as constituting permanent, Platonic ideals, floating somewhere in a metaphysical never-never land. Rather, they must be seen as temporary direction-indicators, broad objectives good for a limited time only, and intended as advisory to the elected political representatives of the community or nation.
                   Nevertheless, such future-oriented, future-forming events could have enormous political impact. Indeed, they could turn out to be the salvation of the entire system of representative politics - a system now in dire crisis.
                   The mass of voters today are so far removed from contact with their elected representatives, the issues dealt with are so technical, that even well educated middle-class citizens feel hopelessly excluded from the goal-setting process. Because of the generalized acceleration of life, so much happens so fast between elections, that the politician grows increasingly less accountable to "the folks back home." What's more, these folks back home keep changing. In theory, the voter unhappy with the performance of his representative can vote against him the next time around. In practice, millions find even this impossible. Mass mobility removes them from the district, sometimes disenfranchising them altogether. Newcomers flood into the district. More and more, the politician finds himself addressing new faces. He may never be called to account for his performance - or promises made to the last set of constituents.
                   Still more damaging to democracy is the time-bias of politics. The politician's time horizon usually extends no further than the next election. Congresses, diets, parliaments, city councils - legislative bodies in general - lack the time, the resources, or the organizational forms needed to think seriously about the long-term future. As for the citizen, the last thing he is ever consulted about are the larger, more distant, goals of his community, state or nation."

                   About three more pages to go . . but umm, I'm starting to feel sick again. Maybe it's the weather, but I'm getting all these chills and am very tired. I wish I was at the barn. Man, it's going to be fucking cold tonight. Just like it was last night. It sucks. Maybe that's why I'm getting sick again. My throat doesn't hurt just yet, but it probably will.

                   Well, it's 2:09am, Saturday the 1st of November, and I'm going to stop here, go to the barn and lie down. Blech . . . maybe I should strongly consider quitting smoking.
                   You know what else it could be? That since my boots are almost dead, I don't walk nearly as much as I used to. I end up staying most of the day in the barn and don't walk if I don't really have to. I need to go back to San Antonio and get back in shape, bad.

Next day..