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A SIGN IN A SHOE REPAIR STORE IN VANCOUVER READS:

We will heel you

We will save your sole

We will even dye for you.


A SIGN ON A BLINDS AND CURTAIN TRUCK:

"Blind man driving."


Sign over a Gynaecologist's Office:

"Dr. Jones, at your cervix."


In a Podiatrist's office:

"Time wounds all heels."


On a Septic Tank Truck:

Yesterday's Meals on Wheels


At an Optometrist's Office:

"If you don't see what you're looking for,

You've come to the right place"


On a Plumber's truck:

"We repair what your husband fixed."


On another Plumber's truck:

"Don't sleep with a drip. Call your plumber."


At a Tire Shop in Milwaukee:

"Invite us to your next blowout."


On an Electrician's truck:

"Let us remove your shorts.


In a Non-smoking Area:

"If we see smoke, we will assume you are on fire and

will take appropriate action.


On a Maternity Room door:

"Push. Push. Push.


At a Car Dealership:

"The best way to get back on your feet - miss a car payment."


Outside a Muffler Shop:

"No appointment necessary. We hear you coming."


In a Veterinarian's waiting room:

"Be back in 5 minutes. Sit! Stay!"


At the Electric Company:

"We would be delighted if you send in your payment on time.

However, if you don't, YOU will be de-lighted."


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