23pickuplines

 

Did you grow up on a chicken farm? 'Cause you sure know how to raise a cock. 

Do you work at Subway? Because you just gave me a footlong. 

Are you a sea lion? Because I can sea you lion in my bed tonight!

I'm no weather man, but you can expect more than a few inches tonight. 

Do you have a mirror in your pocket? (Why?) Because I can see myself in your pants. 

You remind me of my little toe... because I'm going to bang you on every piece of furniture in my home. 

Are you from Iraq? 'Cause I like the way you Baghdad ass up. 

Are you a drill sergeant? Because you have my privates standing at attention. 

There are plenty of fish in the sea, but you're the only one I'd like to catch and mount back at my place. 

My dick just died. Would you mind if I buried it in your ass? 

I may not go down in history, but I'll go down on you. 

Do you work for UPS? I could have sworn I saw you checking out my package. 

Do you mix concrete for a living? Because you're making me hard. 

That shirt's very becoming on you. If I were on you, I'd be coming too. 

Do you have an Asian passport? Because I'm China get into your Japantees 

Girl, you should sell hotdogs, because you already know how to make a wiener stand! 

I think it's time I tell you what people are saying behind your back... "Nice ass!"

I may not be a windshield repairman, but I can still fill your crack in. 

Are you a termite? Cause you're about to have a mouth full of wood. 

Are you a middle eastern dictator? Because there’s a political uprising in my pants! 

Are you a farmer? Because you’ve got some big, round, beautiful melons! 

Your smile is almost as big, warm, and lovely as my penis! 

Your face reminds me of a wrench, every time I think of it my nuts tighten up. 

Excuse me, but would you like an orally stimulated orgasm? 

Do you run track? Cause I heard you Relay want this dick. 

My friend over there really wants your number so he knows where to get a hold of me in the morning.

If you're feeling down, I can feel you up. 

Are you from the ghetto? Cause I'm about to ghetto hold of dat ass. 

You know what I like in a girl? My dick. 

Are you a doctor? cause you just cured my erectile dysfunction. 

Your legs are like an Oreo Cookie - I wanna split them and eat all the good stuff in the middle. 

Have you ever kissed a rabbit between the ears? [Pull your pockets inside out] Would you like to? 

I lost my virginity. Can I have yours? 

If I were a Nintendo cartridge would you blow me? 

Do you work at Home Depot? Because you’re giving me wood. 

I would tell you a joke about my penis, but it’s too long! 

Hi, I’m wasted but this condom in my pocket doesn't have to be.

Hey, you wanna do a 68? You go down on me, and I'll owe you one.

Someone vacuum my lap, I think this girl needs a clean place to sit. 

If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put 'U' between 'F' and 'CK’

F**k me if I'm wrong, but isn't your name Laura? 

Hey Baby! I'd like to use your thighs as earmuffs. 

Are you a pirate? Cause I’ve got a lot of semen waiting for you. 

You might not be the best looking girl here, but beauty is only a light switch away. 

Your breasts remind me of Mount Rushmore - my face should be among them. 

Hey baby, I think you just made my two by four into a four by eight. 

Is that a keg in your pants? Because I'd love to tap that ass. 

Do you have an inhaler? Because you've got ass ma. 

Hey cutie, wanna go halves on a baby? 

You can call me cake, cause I'll go straight to your ass. 

Are you hungry? Cause omelette you suck this dick. 

Do you like pudding? Cause I'll be pudding this dick in your ass. 

Are your legs made of Nutella? Because I'd love to spread them! 

Can I read your t-shirt in braille? 

Are you an early hominid? Because I've got a Homo Erectus right now. 

Do you have pet insurance? Because your pussy's getting smashed tonight!

Are you my homework? Cause I'm not doing you but I definitely should be. 

Do you like jalapeños? Cause in a minute I'll be jalapeño pussy. 

Roses are red, violets are fine. If I be the 6, will you be the 9? 

I'm not Asian but I'll still eat your cat. 

There will only be 7 planets left after I destroy Uranus. 

Do you go to church often? Cause you're gonna be on your knees tonight. 

Touch your toes and I'll show you where the rocket goes! 

On a scale from 1 to "the human centipede", how close am I to that ass? 

Do you know your ABC's? Cause I wanna give you the 4th letter of the alphabet. 

I hope you like dragons, because I'll be dragon my balls across your face tonight.