What has a million legs, but can't walk? Jerry's kids.
What's better than winning a gold medal at the Special Olympics?
Not being retarded.
Why did Princess Diana cross the road?
She wasn't wearing a seatbelt.
A hotel patron asks the receptionist: "Can all the porn in my room be disabled?" The receptionist says: "You sick bastard ! You'll watch the regular porn like everyone else !"
Why can't Helen Keller drive?
Because she's dead.
How is locking your keys in your car like getting a girl pregnant?
Both problems can be solved with a coat hanger.
What's twelve inches long and makes a woman moan all night?
Sudden Infant Death Syndrome.
How did Helen Keller's parents punish her?
They left the plunger in the toilet.
What was Helen Keller's worst Christmas gift? A Rubick's Cube.
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