Bill Murray Quotes... < Barack--Obama >
Common sense is like deodorant. The people who need it most never use it.
Just beat my record for most consecutive days without dying.
Friendship is so weird. You just pick a human you've met and you're like, 'Yep, I like this one,' and you just do stuff with them.
Disneyland. The world's biggest people trap, built by a mouse.
I'm not an alcoholic, I only drink two times a year. When it's my birthday, and when it's not my birthday.
You can tell how boring a person is by the lack of fear in their eyes when someone is flipping through photos on their phone.
Alcohol is really just the liquid version of Photoshop.
My iPhone has 2 million times the storage of the 1969 Apollo 11 computer. They went to the moon. I throw birds at pig houses
You know...they say an elephant never forgets. What they don't tell you is, you never forget an elephant.
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