1-10-24 HUGE UPDATE!
THE OTHER DAY I ACTUALLY RECONNECTED WITH MY DADDY! I MADE HIM A PAGE TO SHOW MY RESPECT!
I LOVE YOU, FRANK! <l:oP
“Dad, are you vicariously living through me in the hope that my
accomplishments will validate your mediocre life, and in some way
compensate for all the opportunities you botched?” – Calvin
Added 7-26 9:26am To all the GOOD dad's out there enjoy this bitchin' ride!
I challenge anyone to find or make a 100% TRUE better roast than this, LOL!
The hilarity will be unmatched! Everybody and their mom is going to laugh their asses off. I PROMISE!
THE LAUGHS WILL DEFINITELY BE DISPENSED!
THIS IS A BURN FOR THE RECORD BOOKS!
LET ME GIVE YOU MY FAVORITE TOY TO PLAY WITH! PLAY WITH HIM ALL YOU WANT AND WEAR HIM OUT! CHRISTMAS IN JULY!
IF THE WHOLE WORLD NEEDS JUST ONE PERSON TO LAUGH AT, HERE HE IS!!
When I looked up "roast" I also found this definition that's got Frank ALL over it:
"Roast - to go "roast" is to completely abandon a community or any responsibility that you have."
Here, let me use that in a sentence, teehee :P
"Franklin Gruber Chiari went roast on his whole family - never turned up to help them, ignored everyone involved in it and it eventually broke down and failed."(HAHAHAHA!, the shit the universe has waiting for me when I do random searches while channeling this blog-content, has me really excited right now. Not just because I'm all dabbed out, lol.)
(Pssst. Movie producers, enjoy this gift. Save this page right now(Ctrl+S) and there's your script. Now please go live up to your title and get to work. Be truly productive and give it away online, please. You, of all people should know exactly which pill I took.)
7-15-23
(OMG! LAST NIGHT I WAS READING ALL THE OLD BASTARD FILES AND I STUMBLED ONTO THIS GEM!! PREPARE TO BE HATED BY EVERY SINGLE FEMALE IN THE WORLD, MOTHERFUCKER!!!!!!!!!!!)(You've made your ruination way too easy for me!. I'M YOUR DADDY, NOW! CALL ME DADDY, MOTHERFUCKER!!!) )Look what I found in Bastard Franklin 9!:
"For society its easier and convenient to place a label on these people and put them away if possible. However, the better option is "self exile from society." (That's right, PUSSY! Run away like the coward you are!)However, the most intelligent and productive self exile as possible! Nothing like owning or habitating one´s own private island, whether it be a mountain or a real island on a lake or sea. On it one would transfer a complete library and satelite connected computer and of course a few female companions to do the normal chores(THAT'S ALL WOMEN ARE GOOD FOR TO YOU, ISN'T IT?)
Let me give you some pertinent background information about the fool who thinks he's my father. To start with read some of his history. Self-proclaimed "Herbalist" Franklin Gruber Chiari
Back when I first started brainstorming ideas to help, back around when I was working on my Portable Party idea, like around 2000, one morning I checked my email and I had some lame joke email from my sister. I was bored that day so I hit the Reply to All button on her mail and sent out my Portable Party report to everyone on her mailing list.
Well, unbeknownst to me, Laura had already made contact with Franklin via the internet so he got my dissertation. So one morning I wake up and check my email and I have an email from my father! I opened it up real quick in shock.
It was really weird how this man who was my father, who I didn't know at all, could be so similar to me. He was all about exercise and natural remedies. He claimed to be a medicine man in the wilderness of Panama, professed to be a curandero(a healer) and was expecting to be very wealthy soon so he could finally help us. I was very happy to think he might actually return to our lives, always staying a little suspicious though.
I don't remember the exact mails offhand because it's been so long, but I think I've saved them all. We had some emails back and forth and I decided to forgive him. I told him, "I have had some very educational trials lately and my mind is a sponge right now. I can't deny our similarities and would love to soak up any knowledge you may have that I could use. What you did or didn't do is in the past and I am trying to live as much as I can in the now."
He eventually volunteered to send me $500. "Great! He hasn't been around my whole life. That's the least he could do," I thought. He Western Unioned me $200 and promised he'd send me the rest later. He gave me his word as my father he would so I believed him. With that money I went out and bought some traveling supplies and attempted another walking/hitchhiking trip, only to end up in jail in San Marcos for pissing on some redneck's barbwire fence. Hays County Jail story.
After I got out of jail I go and check my email and I have one from Frank telling me he was refusing to send me the remainder because he feared I was going to use it to buy marijuana! I guess his stupid ass must've thought I was a drug dealer!
Me thinking, this guy is a naturalist, an herbalist, he should know better about cannabis, but he ended up thinking it was a dangerous drug, just like all of the rest of the brainwashed sheep.
I wasn't upset that I'd have to do without the money he promised me, at all. I was appalled that he had the nerve to fail me yet again. After all, he had given me his word as my father he would send me the money.
Little did he know he was digging his own grave by breaking his promise to his new-found son.
I quickly made a special section on my website, havethisbook dot com, titled Bastard Franklin. I admit I wasn't too sure of the meaning of bastard when I made it, it just sounded good to me, hehe. He knows who his father is, but I still think he's a bastard.
I eventually gave the section a much more fitting name, Failure Franklin. :P
Anyway, this special section contained EVERY SINGLE ONE of the emails we had back and forth, detailing his continued betrayal. Not to mention, including private details which clearly broadcasted his location, to the entire world! Like, he had given me step by step directions, haha! Like I would ever visit his dumbass! HAHAHA!
All this con man wanted was my computer skills that he was too stupid to learn on his own, so I could help him sell his bullshit, worthless "remedies."
It got to the point where after Googling his name the very first result would be in big capital letters WORLD PEACE THROUGH MARIJUANA.
HAHAHAHA!
With a link to all of his private info! Haha! Bet you wish you would've stuck around now, huh?? Sucker!
He was all trying to build an online presence selling his bullshit cures and now anyone who tried to research him online found out exactly the kind of fraud he really was. They could even visit his pathetic ass and know all of his secrets he shared with his son that he thought were for my eyes only!
HAHAHA! Take that, motherfucker! Take that straight home to your mom!
I am so glad I received my mental capacity from my mother's side of the family. It would suck to be a dumb Gruber like my "father." La-hoo-hooser.
7-7-23 The other day I spoke to my mom on the phone for an hour and a half and she proofread this report with me, hehe:
7-9-23 I miss my mom so much and I so enjoyed talking to her so much that I called her again the next day, the 8th and had yet another enjoyable hour-long talk...which I couldn't wait to start transcribing, hehe. My mom alternates from English and Spanish(Spanglish) sometimes. Also, I don't know all of the alt-codes to make accents and stuff, so the transcript will be replete with typos, but I am sure it'll be understandable(if you know Spanish). I will eventually translate it completely. Here it is. It's soooooo cherry.
7-9-23 10:48pm Here's the translated version.
HERES A PART TWO I JUST FOUND!
To start off with after Googling his name I found this YouTube video of him. What a goofy-looking DORK. He seems like a big fanny-pack sporting, wearing hat-inside pussy with a permanently confused gaze in his eyes, pretending like he knows anything about anything. I noticed he only had two subscribers. How lame, huh? I also noticed there were NO comments on the video(Because nobody gives a shit about him. They know he's a con-man. If not, they will soon, hehe). I changed that, lol. Look at the comment I quickly wrote up:
"LOL, I am going to LOVE writing this comment!! Full disclosure on Franklin Gruber Chiari!
I am Franklin Gruber Chiari's biological son, Victor Antonio Gruber. First, just look at the confused look in his face. It makes me wonder what kind of drugs he's on, ha.
I want to remind everyone reading this that biology DOES NOT make a parent. ONLY LOVE CAN.
I am 45 now and am an accomplished long-distance walker/photojournalist, peace activist. Please look at my my interesting, ad-free, non-religious and funny blog. I literally am an open book. http://laughdispenser.blogspot.com
To start off with it's my joke collection. Franklin Gruber Chiari is still the biggest joke I've ever come across though. He's the lamest joke I've heard too.
The "Snake-oil dealer" Franklin Gruber Chiari is as irresponsible as they come. His lazy, non-working arse totally abandoned my mother and two sisters five years after emigrating the family to San Antonio in 1980. I guess he got used to my mother's father always bailing him out. Whenever money got tight he would always be counting on his in-laws so he wouldn't have to work and provide for his family. He assumed he lucked out and married into money and because my mom's parent's were better off than he'd ever be alone, that he could shirk all responsibilities that came with being a responsible husband and father. He never grew up and was always dependent on other people.
When my twin sister Laura and I were five Franklin stopped being able to handle reality(not like he ever could) and abandoned his new family and left us to fend for ourselves. Thank LOVE for my mother's LOVE. He returned to Panama to study natural cures so he could make money "to provide for his family."
In almost two years of being in San Antonio he never put in one single application for a job. He would laze around on a hammock all day, making pointless calculations on a notepad. He always thought he was too good and too smart to work for only minimum wage. Spineless fool.
He took the easy way out. My mother sold her Volkswagen(just for him to be gone) for his plane ticket back to his mother's house in Panama.
Providing is the last thing he did. Actually, I'm wrong. He never even came close to providing to begin with. As long as his father-in-law kept paying rent, he felt like he didn't have to. My mother was the only one working and his lazy ass would do nothing all day.
The only memory I have of my "father" is of him laying on the hammock drinking a beer and offering me a sip and me spitting it out all over him. That's it.
Maybe that's where my aversion to alcohol is rooted.
Not one single phone call in my whole life. He totally blew us off. Not one iota of wanting to be in our lives. This man is a fraud and I am ashamed to bear his last name. I am strongly considering having it legally changed to my wife's last name. Victor Vera sounds a lot better than Victor Goober. Her father became my new father who I was able to love and care for before he died. I felt so blessed to finally have a father after never having one.
Give this man NO money. He is a fraud and a failure and deserves to know what it's like to NOT have things he needs. From his track record I can safely assume he has accomplished very, very little in life.
Eventually, my twin sister reached out to him when the internet came along, only to find out he's still a deadbeat with a new family that I'm sure he'll abandon too eventually.
Franklin Gruber Chiari can lick my balls!(put them in your mouth, Frank)
:P
- Victor Antonio from San Antonio
p.s. I am going to post this same exact comment everywhere I can that Franklin might see. I'm going to leave you with nothing, Franklin Chiari. Eff you and your reputation. You deserve every bit of displeasure I can cause you. Payback's a perra, you punk arse fool. Didn't you ever learn how to do unto others? I can't wait to read and share on my blog all of your recent emails you've had with Laura, teehee. You are going down, geezer. I am so glad you named me after your father, who never cared to reach out to us either. Figures. You must've learned dismissal from somewhere. LOL! Ha!
¡JUSTICIA!
P.S. After all this animosity I am rightfully expressing, I would still be open to meeting Franklin and having a mature conversation face to face. Maybe there are some things in his side of the story that might change my mind. It would've been nice of him to let me know his side of the story, but he didn't love us enough to make those phone calls.
*** Even if it was partly our mother's fault because she learned how you are and didn't want our lives impeded by your stupidity, you could've tried harder than your lazy ass ever did. When you get knocked down you get back up again. He who knocks persistently ends by entering! I don't even need to ask if you've always been this ignorant. There is no safer bet.
You assumed we were better off without you. That's probably the only thing you have been right about in your whole pathetic existence.***
(I wish I would've said the *** stuff, but I didn't in the actual dissertation, hindsight.)
I will only agree to such a conference if we smoke cannabis during it. Both of us. ***And you better inhale.***"
I tried posting that but I guess it was too big and wouldn't fit. Oh well, good thing it fits here! :P And I was sure to leave this shorter comment instead: "http://laughdispenser.blogspot.com THIS MAN IS A FRAUD, MASTER OF NOTHING"
It still says zero comments and it might not ever be really posted on the video, but at least I got this screen shot. Thought that counts, right?
Franklin, you weak pansy, you brought this smear-campaign on yourself, dumbass. In your dumbassness you dug your own grave and provided me with more than enough ammunition to bury you better than I ever had imagined, beyond my wildest dreams. You could not have made it any easier for me. You deserve nothing but my disrespect and I promise you're going to get it(AND SO MUCH MORE) until your clear your debts, and I'm not talking money.
I DARE YOU TO WATCH LAW ABIDING CITIZEN(if you dare, here is the whole movie for free) WITHOUT SHITTING YOURSELF. WHAT THE FAILURE IN THAT MOVIE GOES THROUGH IS A WALK IN THE PARK COMPARED TO WHAT I HAVE PLANNED FOR YOU, MOTHERFUCKER.
Stupid is as stupid does, and doesn't do in your pathetic case.
YOU WERE TOO STUPID TO LEARN THE EASY WAY. NOW, WELL, YOU KNOW HOW IT'S GOING TO GO NOW.
The bible says take whatever gift you have received and share it, not sell it. You blasphemer. You work for the devil. It's no wonder failure is the story of your life. You'll never amount to shit.
LOL, let me show you some of an old email he had with Laura and I shortly after she first started emailing him. From back in 2002.
"The content of this letter is being shared with Victor. He may not necessarily like everything I say but I have no reason to say anything behind his back. Although we do not know each other very well, I have a lot of confidence in his future. In life everything happens for a reason and there maybe a positive side to negative events. Victor is looking for the positive side trying to add his own grain of sand to make a better World. That I respect. It could be that his contribution will be more than a grain of sand. We both have very dominant characters. If he cannot respect me as his father, well let us respect each other as human beings if we are going to relate.
There is onething that is certain. I am now giving Victor the benefit of the doubt as he may be giving me. But if there is no respect as human beings, it would be best for us then not to communicate. If he ever is disrespectful to me personally, I will whip his butt!(Great spirits have always received violent opposition from mediocre minds! BRING IT ON, YOU MOTHERFUCKER! I will snap you like a twig. I will have you on your knees begging for mercy! I'll let you choose which one of your arms you'd rather I break. I'll put it on YouTube, Celebrity Death Match style, lol.)
I do love him as a son(Bullshit! You're no father of mine!) but I tolerate disrespect absolutely from no one(Do something, you big pussy, I dare you to. I wish your mother was still alive so I could fuck her her like you did mine. I would fuck the everliving dogshit out of your mother. And make you watch. Marisol, or whoever your current victim is can suck my dick too. If your new bastards don't know the truth about you, they're about to find out!)
There
where people in high positions which disrespected me here in
panama,Ministers of government. In four days they lost their jobs, one
of them was the minister of government, the other of health. If you ever
come to Panama ask what happened to these ministers of the Andara government(Oh no! I am shivering in fear, haha. The last thing you're going to do is get me fired from my job. You're so full of shit your eyes are brown. You're the one that needs to get a real job, bum.).
They persecuted the Botanicos. Although it has not happened yet some
day, soon, I hope, my fortunes will change. That I am aware of I have
now the only really viable medication for arthritis in theWorld, the
World will come to me after it. The herbs I use to make it with grow
wild, there will be little problem with supply. This current government
of Panama is allowing me to practice medicine.
Victor hope you do not take offense to my words of whipping your butt. Just know its in your hands to be respectful to me as simply I willbe with you. From now on either we make it as friends or we do not at all. I am of a very drastic character when you rub my wrong side. If you are going to have anything at all to do with me, please be respectful. Its the starting point. If I get any more fowel language in your letters you surely will never hear from me again(do you mean just how I haven't my entire life? oh no!!!).
Nevertheless, I wish you the best in everyway, in your future. You see with me subtle tricks do´nt work(HAHAHAHA). You will either be with me or against me, I make it a policy never to relate to insincere people. These are the people who will sneak up on you make you believe they are your friends, learn everything about you which is possible, then undermine you, especially where it hurts(YOU ARE PROJECTING SO HARD, IDIOT!).
In all of Panama I only have two friends(I doubt you even have that many. PSYCHOPATHS DON'T HAVE FRIENDS OR FAMILY, THEY ONLY HAVE VICTIMS). I am not looking for friends(they're not looking for you either) I am busy trying to realize my mission in life(IF YOU HAVEN'T NOTICED BY NOW YOU HAVE ALWAYS BEEN DESTINED TO BE A FOOL! YOUR MOTHER WAS A FOOL JUST LIKE MINE! YOUR LAMITY AND INFERIORITY IS WRITTEN IN THE STARS!)
The rewards of those accomplishments will be shared with those which are worthy. After that I shall simply disappear, vanish(yeah, you're real good at that)...people everywhere will hear of me but not know me. I will be in the jungles enjoying the environment I love.
There I shall die to this World. You may then write me via my satelite computer. However, I may never answer. You have made contact with your father. Like it or not, its a priviledge(HAHAHAHAHA), I do not relate to just anyone...now you are getting to know me. Your inheritence can be the knowledge in my brain(HAHAHA, please, make me laugh some more!). It is pricelessa(haha, thanks! i knew you could do it!) but to obtain it you just need to have enough respect for the transfer to be possible(SUCK A BIG FAT JUICY VEINY COCK, FRANK). Your mother gave you what you needed when your where young, possibly I can give you what you need today if I see you are truly worthy.
From what I already know of you, either you will not write back, or simply you will send another letter full of fowel language telling me where to go. My advice is think before you act. Laura believes your quite harmless. She only sees part of you we are all capable of harming each other( Harm only comes when one deserves it, like you do And it's coming real soon for you. Watch your back.)
But that is not what we want to do, is it son?(That is EXACTLY what I want to do, dad. And I'm gonna. Nothing would make me happier than to personally see you are brought to justice, and to make sure it hurts like FUCKING hell for you, to GUARANTEE you reap what you've sown.) Lets all make an effort and walk on the positive side of each other, from now on, alright! Franklin"
Look at what he actually has the gall to tell me here in 2003(From number 14):
"Peace be unto YOU. Love your old man trying to give the best of his advice and heart to you. Just remember that the guilt trip you give your mom does not work with me. I love ya and want to love ya more but if you harm me in anyway there maybe instant reprisal(I am waiting, motherfucker. What's taking so long?). I do not like being that way but its the way that old lions become. Maybe you will overcome yourself better than I have. God only knows. Time shall tell(and so will I)."
HAHAHAHA, you lose! Good day, sir! Here's a hilarious prank call that goes great right here.
Oh yes, before I forget. I am nowhere near done having this poor excuse for a man ruin himself.
Way back then, after my actions evoked many negative reactions in his life from thousands of miles away, hehe, Frank even said that some of his Cartel enemies(any enemy of Frank's is a dear friend of mine) found him because of me(Great! Bullseye!), I felt he had had enough and begrudgingly removed the FAILURE FRANKLIN section from my site.
I didn't pay him any attention after that and ignored, deleted any emails he sent me. He was dead to me again. Easy come, easy go. He never really had existed to me to begin with. He still doesn't.
Franklin Gruber Chiari is as real to me as a video game I am about to beat finally and get the high score on, HAHA, FATALITY!
Well, after all this time has passed and I have finally come back to my mission full-force, I called Laura the other day and asked her about our "father." She had still kept in contact all this time, but he recently pissed her off(great!). She had absolutely nothing good to say about him and stated she had blocked him a long time ago. I pressed her, "Why?" I don't remember exactly what she told me, but it was clear that Franklin was still a deadbeat and had learned nothing.
A huge grin came over my face. "He probably thought he was off the hook with me, ha! I'm going to follow through on something I started two decades ago. Justice will be done." I told Laura.
I bet Franklin was greatly relieved way back when he thought the secrets he divulged in emails to me were safe again, after I removed the section from my website. He was probably doubly-relieved when I took down my entire site in 2009. But guess what, motherfucker.
EVERYTHING ON THE INTERNET IS PERMAMANENT AND ALWAYS WILL BE! UNTIL THE DAY YOU DIE(i even have the exact date planned. it's wayyyyy sooner than you think, prepare.)!
EVERY SINGLE MOTHERFUCKING CLICK IS LOGGED AND TRACEABLE! EVERY SINGLE THING PUT ON THE INTERNET HAS AN AUTOMATIC "PAPER-TRAIL" RIGHT BACK TO ITS ORIGIN."
I AM BACK AND YOU CAN GO STRAIGHT TO HELL WHERE YOU BELONG, YOU PSYCHOPATH!
YOU MUST'VE THOUGHT YOU SUCCESSFULLY CLIMBED OUT OF THAT GRAVE YOU DUG FOR YOURSELF DECADES AGO.
I'M PUSHING YOUR WEAK ASS BACK IN IT.
FAILURE FRANKLIN(soon to be updated with turquoise footnotes on every single mail!)
Update 11-18-23 - Just went through my old email backups and put them all in order. It's way more booklike now! COMPLETE FAILURE FRANKLIN IN ONE TEXT FILE! SAVE IT FOR LATER! FUCK YOU, FRANK! :P FOOTNOTES COMNG SOON!
Me and the Way Back Machine, we go wayyyyy back, lol.
Franklin, I relish the fact that you will never mustard up the nuts to ketchup to me.
But seriously, folks. I'm here all weak.
Don't forget to tip your waitress.
Tough crowd.
Is this thing on???
<l:0)
7-8-23 Does anyone else think Franklin might be a sociopath maybe? You can't trust those people one bit. The whole no remorse stuff? I'd venture to say he is one, if not a full blown psycho. That's likely too.
Ha! I just googled a definition for sociopath, look what I got. I'll bold-in the parts that hit the nail on the head.
- a person with a personality disorder manifesting itself in extreme antisocial attitudes and behavior and a lack of conscience
After I filter it through my kidneys! HAHAHAHA!
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