fondit-2023-11-23

 Session Start: Thu Nov 23 06:37:03 2023

[06:37.03] ->> fondit is ~screwge@45.134.224.245 (you)

[06:37.03] ->> fondit is on: #Gulag 

[06:37.03] ->> fondit using *.undernet.org (The Undernet Underworld)

[06:37.03] ->> fondit 10 secs seconds idle, signon time 2:20 PM 11/23/2023

[06:37.03] ->> fondit :End of /WHOIS list.

[06:37.10] <levity> hi

[06:37.13] <levity> depressed?

[06:37.20] <fondit> Hi

[06:37.21] <fondit> No

[06:37.29] <fondit> No if I was depressed I wouldn't be talking to anyone I would have blown my head off by now. What's up how can I help you

[06:38.56] <levity> i just want to share my funny ad-free, non-religious blog.  i am a journalist, long distance walker

[06:39.09] <levity> toured all over the US with my story

[06:39.50] <levity> i am a full time volunteer

[06:40.34] <fondit> That's neat I don't want to read that though I want to have a conversation with someone else I don't want to read anything from you

[06:40.45] <fondit> That's neat I'm glad you're a motivational speaker I just need a regular friend though please

[06:41.26] <levity> i can be a regular friend too

[06:42.14] <fondit> No I doubt it at this point I just want to commit suicide

[06:42.22] <fondit> I can tell that you're nice but everyone else in that chat is extremely mean so I don't know why you're around them

[06:43.02] <levity> hold off just a bit longer.  things are about to get insanely better for everyone soon.

[06:43.18] <fondit> I'm going to try to hold off but at this point I'm sick of being burdened by other people's problems that's not fair to me

[06:43.18] <levity> i just go in there to tell jokes

[06:43.24] <fondit> No you don't understand I've been holding on for longer than 7 years

[06:43.27] <levity> until they ban me

[06:43.33] <fondit> I've been holding on for a very long time I have not wanted to be alive since I was very young

[06:43.43] <fondit> I'm exhausted I just cannot wait to blow my head off at this point sorry for being morbid

[06:43.50] <fondit> Yeah they don't really care about people in there

[06:43.50] <levity> ive been suicidal myself

[06:44.02] <fondit> Well the funny thing is that I'm not really suicidal I'm actually very upbeat and positive and optimistic! I love life I love being alive!

[06:44.14] <fondit> So again there's no way to explain this because I'm being chased stalked and harassed by people not just in my family but other people in my family have gotten to do this to me

[06:44.29] <fondit> My family's trying to coerce me to get me to go back to them because they need something to do they want to fix me they want to break me and fix me they want something to do. Is this making sense? This is a parent's wet dream

[06:44.33] <levity> my deadbeat "father

[06:44.42] <fondit> So there's no way for me to explain this. I only want to commit suicide logically unemotionally

[06:44.47] <levity> " abandoned the family

[06:44.53] <levity> when i was five

[06:44.55] <fondit> My father is fucking hated the shit out of me for being gay every chance he could get to punch me he did

[06:45.05] <levity> no contact, no child support

[06:45.20] <levity> but i am enacting justice

[06:46.04] <levity> do you want to get your father back?

[06:46.13] <levity> ruin his reputation

[06:46.21] <fondit> He's 77 he's already done.

[06:46.24] <levity> blog out the truth

[06:46.34] <levity> then spam everyone he knows

[06:46.40] <fondit> Oh I see what you mean. It's not so much him it's all the brainwashing and mental illness that he received when he was in Catholic school. I honestly blame Catholic school for training my father to become a domestic terrorist to his own family

[06:46.42] <levity> oh forget it then

[06:46.56] <fondit> My father went to Catholic School kindergarten through senior year of his master's degree

[06:47.04] <fondit> He's a crypto Catholic he pretends to be atheist just to try to relate to me

[06:47.11] <levity> yes, christians are devil worshippers

[06:47.18] <fondit> But he takes it too far and he doesn't even represent himself accurately so it feels like I'm dealing with the deceiving supervillain as a father all the time he feels really ugly and icky

[06:47.22] <levity> THATS the great deception!

[06:47.35] <levity> in fraud they trust

[06:47.51] <fondit> If you were just a really devout Catholic that would be much less annoying than dealing with a crypto Catholic someone who has to lie to me to relate to me

[06:47.57] <fondit> If he

[06:48.17] <fondit> Dishonesty makes me want to leave the planet

[06:48.39] <fondit> And that's mostly a result of me being lied to a lot by my own family my deep loved ones my closest friends and family and allies people I looked up to and trusted. They lied to me

[06:48.52] <fondit> It's almost impossible for me to form a trusting Bond I just want to leave the planet immediately I'm sorry I'm sorry if I leave I'm sorry

[06:50.49] <levity> i really hope you can get something positive from my blog.  please evaluate it when you get the chance.  its not going anywhere.  it is permanent.  

[06:50.53] <levity> ＋http://laughdispenser.blogspot.com，

[06:51.08] <levity> i will continue to listen if you want to vent more

[06:51.19] <fondit> No thank you

[06:51.36] <fondit> I just wanted my life back I don't want to read anything more from anybody sorry

[06:52.02] <levity> ok, never hurts to try

[06:52.34] <levity> remember, attitude is everything!

[06:52.50] <levity> so much depends solely on what you think

[06:52.56] <levity> think happy thoughts!

[06:53.01] <levity> :]

[06:53.18] <fondit> I agree with that but I'm dealing with people who are just throwing all their negativity on me so how do I respond to that how do I deal with that

[06:53.44] <fondit> You never read anything that I wrote in the chat because I said in the last hour that I am a very positive upbeat optimistic person. My situation has a bunch of pessimists and a bunch of angry people who are after me. It's almost impossible to be happy with people who are angry suppressing my life keeping me homeless like this this is depressing and that's the way that they enjoy it they're happy

[06:53.47] <levity> detach from toxic people

[06:53.55] <fondit> Oh God how to how do I do that how the fuck do I do that

[06:54.04] <fondit> Detached from toxic people? That's all I've ever known

[06:54.17] <fondit> I have to stop being a human being around other human beings to get away from toxic people!!!!

[06:55.13] <levity> if you are homeless, then gather some essentials and some snacks and hitchhike out of town

[06:55.20] <levity> and see where you end up

[06:55.30] <levity> go be homeless somewhere else

[06:55.31] <fondit> I'm not doing anything dangerous I'm done with y'all stupid fucking fantasies about my goddamn life this is my real life that I really live and I'm done fucking entertaining your shitty thoughts about me

[06:55.35] <levity> meet new people

[06:55.41] <fondit> You don't have to understand this shit no I'm staying right here mother fucker I need a goddamn home from someone shut the fuck up

[06:55.46] <fondit> Stop telling me what to do

[06:55.56] <levity> lol!

[06:56.08] <fondit> I'm serious knock it off

[06:56.17] <fondit> None of y'all are going to understand this shit you want me to take the dumbest risks of my life because it's a fucking movie for you

[06:56.30] <levity> ╭∩╮( •̀_•́ )╭∩╮

[06:57.09] <fondit> I'm not angry at you but

[06:57.16] <fondit> I'm angry that no one's understanding this shit

[06:57.41] <levity> ok, good luck

[06:57.52] <levity> remember, if you want to be happy, just be

[06:58.05] <fondit> That's fucking impossible fuck off you piece of shit

[06:58.08] <levity> great luck!  peace!

[06:58.11] <fondit> God you were a goddamn Christian dork you fucking fagot

[06:58.16] <fondit> Oh no fuck off you fagot I'll kill you

[06:58.30] <fondit> You're going to understand how fucking done with you I am fucking fagot ass Christian

[06:58.30] <levity> i forgive you :]

[06:58.40] <fondit> Doesn't matter fuck off I don't want to ever know you

[06:59.22] <levity> welcome to my blog :]

[06:59.43] <levity> my content writes itself!

[06:59.47] <fondit> I said fuck off and leave me alone

[07:00.13] <levity> do something, funnny boy

[07:00.18] <levity> i dare you to

[07:00.26] <fondit> I said I'll fucking murder you if you don't fucking leave me alone you piece of shit fagot

[07:00.44] <levity> want my address, punk

[07:00.47] <levity> come get you some

[07:01.08] <fondit> I said I'm ready to die

[07:01.21] <levity> hell, i already have

[07:01.23] <levity> twice

[07:01.40] <fondit> Shut the fuck up. My parents are sobbing their faces off while they're barely alive

[07:01.51] <fondit> And I don't care about that everyone else cares about my family more than I do that is fucking sick

[07:02.07] <fondit> Oh dude I can't even tell you how fucking sick this society is I don't want to be in it because I don't want to support it anymore my happiness is not worth having these people become more supported from any contribution that I give them.

[07:02.13] <fondit> This is an awfully sick society that does this

[07:02.16] <levity> shut me the fuck up, queer  

[07:02.18] <levity> I AM FREE TO SAY WHAT I PLEASE

[07:02.25] <fondit> There's zero way I will ever support the people of America I don't want to support human beings in general

[07:02.34] <fondit> I don't want to be on this planet anymore with the species

[07:02.39] <fondit> It doesn't feel safe to be alive

[07:02.53] <levity> good, leave and stfu already

[07:02.58] <levity> good riddance