RE: Passport
franklin gruber <botanicogruber@hotmail.com>
Thu 4/1/2010 12:16 PM
Victor,
if you have a spare moment please research how diamonds behave in
a gold panning pan. About six months ago I did an ecological tour with
members of a Gold Panning Association. They did not find gold but
rather two square like pieces of apparrent quartz. I was with them when
they searched internet for diamonds, the pictures that came up where
almost identical to what they found. Maybe it is diamonds as we are
located in an appropriate location. Diamonds are usually found near
extinct or active volcanos where pressures where strong enough to
produce them. The location is a secret but will share it with
you after you rest up and are in condition to do long mountain
explorations. Its the same spot where I found trace gold dust 20 years
ago. Lets look at this more as fun, contact with nature, not so much
the money, but if they are genuine, well lets not get angry about that!
If you are able to come up with a little spare money see if you can
locate three plastic gold pans in your area, they are not easily
available here.
Alot of the medicinal herbs we will be studying grow along the creeks and rivers so no harm in dabbling in this exotic art of prospecting. If ever we needed the extra cash, is now. We need to buy a farm and each son have his inheritance before I die of cancer. The tumors have been there for 20 years, managed to control them and almost eliminate them several times but with the advent of age each time its more difficult. They are now swollen and can hardly shit. Yet my faith in herbs and God is so great, I know that once I nose dive back into nature and my beloved mountains that I will be able to heal them! But there is still time to get to know each other and do some good things together. Old people have to die some day! Frank
From: rightprotect@hotmail.com
To: botanicogruber@hotmail.com
Subject: RE: Passport
Date: Wed, 31 Mar 2010 20:20:02 -0500
Franklin,
After many a long bus ride and waiting I applied for my passport today at the post office. Ada gave me ten dollars so I could get pictures taken. I left the house around 12:00pm, walked to the store and got my passport pictures taken. After an hour busrise downtown and another hour to get to the post office, I got there about 2pm and had to wait like three or four more hours waiting to apply. It ended up being only $100. Normal wait time was 4-6 weeks and I contemplated not paying the extra $60, but that's what you sent it for so I paid it.
My passport should arrive in 3 weeks or less, they said. Now you tell me it might be 3 months and I really should'nt have expedited it for sixty dollars. Oh well. At least I had twenty bucks left over and was able to buy a burger for the long wait to get home. It's 8pm and I just got home.
Being out in society really get to me here. It's very hard for me seeing all this civilization, brainwashed people and traffic everywhere. After so many years making my presence known in this town and now that I've given up the fight I feel nothing but shame here. I thought I could wake people up, but there's not much use in trying. Everytime I get out of the house reminds me of how screwed everyone is.
I find it also difficult to talk to people. I have trouble gathering my thoughts and conveying what I'm thinking. I think a lot about the near future and how I doubt things will be better for me in Panama. But I need to go somewhere other than here so I will give it a shot still. I hope things will change for the better.
Best wishes,
- Victor Antonio
From: botanicogruber@hotmail.com
To: rightprotect@hotmail.com
Subject: RE: Passport
Date: Wed, 31 Mar 2010 12:14:46 -0500
Herbalism can be a survival tool for you until you find something better. One formula I have, i pound of the dried herb, can produce 1,000 20 dollar vials of antivenum for viper snake bites, which accounts for about 99 of bites. Its the esiest of all to prepare, just three herbs that are ancient and proven effective to increase the odds of arriving alive at the hospital. Will share this secret with you and can prepare it together when you arrive.
Also would like to introduce you to MARIA CANDELARIA, our oldest living herbalist treasure, working in ALMOST PERFECT HEALTH at age 101! I am her student, you too can be if you chose. She has over 100 medicinal plants growing in two acres in her back yard. Frank
From: rightprotect@hotmail.com
To: botanicogruber@hotmail.com
Subject: RE: Passport
Date: Wed, 31 Mar 2010 01:52:41 -0500
Franklin,
I'm sorry if my last email offended you. The government is not made up of all people, just a few people, a very small percentage and they're the ones who are evil. If us(the majority) would finally wake up and realize that there are more of us than them their rule over us would come down like a house of cards. We've been tricked into being evil. Hurt not the earth nor the seas nor the trees! And here we are doing their dirty work. That's why I think a lot of people are going to die soon. Payback's a bitch.
Granted, they have thousands of years of practice and planning to pin us down without us even being aware, plus a lot of new fancy technology now to aid in the brainwashing, but in the end they're nothing compared to the power we could possess collectively if we were to seek it collectively.
I would be wary to ride on your motorcycle, but I will if need be. As long as I am wearing a helmet. I hope you are in the habit of wearing one too. If not you don't want to learn the hard way, trust me. Is that how you would pick me up from the airport? I'll have my big external frame pack and a backpack. I'm still wondering if I should bring my walking stick. You could just meet me at the airport and we could ride the bus together. The bus is your friend. Or I could just ride the bus to El Valle myself. I'm sure I could figure it out. Isn't it only like 90 miles or so away from Panama City? Albrook bus terminal, $3.50, right?
With my dislike for society I don't see myself mingling too much with people at first other than just to say hello. Also because my Spanish is real rusty and I believe I think a little slower now.
Trust me, I'll be a newcomer to your domain and under your wing. I won't be putting you down to other people who know you and your influence. I won't bite the hand that feeds me, even if its taken you this long. I am a big believer in that you reap what you sow. I'll respect you as you respect me. It's a fresh start for both of us.
I took a long walk to the grocery store today and got the $180. Tomorrow I'm going to get my passport pictures taken for ten bucks then ride the bus out to the post office and apply for my passport. I'll let you know how it goes when I get back.
Sorry for the bipolarness recently. It seems like you're getting your hopes up about me. I feel like shit though and I really hope a change of scenery will make me better. I know I don't belong in San Antonio. I get tired of Ada's guilt trips and complaining. I worry about her enough. I fear she's going to die because of all the stress she goes through. She brings most of it on herself and never wants to take the blame for anything. I really hope she's okay after I leave.
Another thing, I noticed you speak English great. Do most people in El Valle speak English? I'd like to think I'd get a lot of practice speaking Spanish. I hope it just comes back to me after a while. Well, I should get to bed now, I've got a little running around to do tomorrow.
See ya later,
- Victor Antonio
From: botanicogruber@hotmail.com
To: rightprotect@hotmail.com
Subject: RE: Passport
Date: Tue, 30 Mar 2010 20:35:06 -0500
The government is made up from people, so people are evil?--if they chose to be? Money is like a machete, you can use it to cut grass and plant croups that give life or you can use it to kill, its not that the machete is evil, its the use of it. a tree is known by its fruits.
So long as you have a fighting spirit there is hope for you,,,,one has to fight the world, the envy, the ambition of others, their hate to make your love felt in the world.
I asked you about your weight to know if both of us could travel at times on the motorcycle. I weigh about 210 pounds. It can carry 400 pounds.
It seems to me you need to buy an island or large farm where you can invite like minded people. There you can build your utopian society....some one has to try new models of existence. about marijuana, its your choice, yes or no. I quite alcohol because it no longer did anything for me rather the last two beers I had caused the tumor in my arm to ache the next few days, so I quit.
It would be best for you to have your own room near by so you could lead your life the way you want to without any rules from me. I will pay your rent the first two months and you can eat at our place during meal hours. what you decide of the various options to make enough money to survive thereafter you will with time know.
about me being brain washed, that is a value judgment. I live in a society and have to abide to a minmum accepting some common rules in order to avoid conflict. The simplest of them all is.... no te metas con otros para que no se metan con tigo. Lets try and live peacefully in the same town without talking bad to others about our personal relationship or lack of one. If you speak good of me to others I will continue to help you. I won´t accept a yes no disrespectful relationship, we can differ but lets keep that to ourselves. I am not like a mother who will accept and cudle you regardless of what you do, I treat you the way you treat me. I prefer to treat you vary well.
about god. does he have to prove himself to you, or you to him? Should the creation be worthy of the creator?
Best wishes to you to. hope to see you soon. franklin.
From: rightprotect@hotmail.com
To: botanicogruber@hotmail.com
Subject: RE: Passport
Date: Tue, 30 Mar 2010 15:00:00 -0500
Franklin,
The government is evil. Money is printed and given value by the government and all it's social conditioning. Thus, money is evil. It's a big trick and they've got everybody fooled, including you.
You did not address any of my concerns in my last email. Back when I was on my mission and magical things were happening to me, I believed in love. But ever since I was cursed with what I thought was scabies and began to itch, my faith in love grew weaker. I don't have faith in much now, especially myself. Now I feel as if I truly know nothing. Because I don't know anything, I am still a firm believer in that anything is possible. So if there is a god and supreme being it just hasn't been proven to me. I'm not saying it's impossible. The technology is here to beam voices into people's minds so even if I heard some telepathic voice I might still be doubtful.
You say spirituality is a personal experience and no one can experience it for me. How are you so positive that the supreme lord has a mission for me, or that it's even a he? Do you think it is human? One could say you've been brainwashed to believe what you believe, just like everyone else is. Except for me, it seems when I had my head injuries it somewhat reset my mind and I shed that conditioning.
Romans 13 is another reason I think the bible and Christianity is just a way to control the masses. It enforces both government, money and the act of paying taxes. All which I think are wrong.
I do own a digital camera. How do you think I took all the pictures on my site? It was given to me in San Luis Obispo last year. It's got a touch-screen interface and all. It has one little glitch, but it's still usable. I've got the battery charger for it.
Ugh, you keep reiterating smoking pot and I don't smoke pot anymore. I did yesterday but it was just a little and it brought me down so I'm not likely to do it again. At least not while I am still depressed. Maybe when and if I get my life together more. If I smoke again it won't be an all-day everyday thing.
In my eyes escaping the rat race would be total freedom with no money. Money defines the rat race.
I weigh about 165-170lbs. Being 6'6" that sounds underweight, but I don't think I'm skinny. I'm streamlined. How much do you weigh? It seems like you've got a gut from what I saw.
Tomorrow I'll wake up early and get the money and go to the post office to apply for a passport. I'll bring my birth certificate but I'll also need two pictures taken of me. I think that costs ten dollars, so I'll ask Ada if she can help. If not at least I'll find out the minor details. I'm still a bit unsure about this, but like you said, even if I decide not to come to Panama it's still a good idea to get a passport incase I need to bail out. So thanks for your help.
Best wishes,
- Victor Antonio
From: botanicogruber@hotmail.com
To: rightprotect@hotmail.com
Subject: RE: Passport
Date: Tue, 30 Mar 2010 13:05:02 -0500
Money is not by itself evil, its the uses you put it to than can be good or evil. However, for some reason Jesus said my kingdom is not from this World! He wants us to focus on HIM, not on churches or religion, God made man and man made religion! The sacred words of Jesus are not a religion, just turn to him and the Supreme Lord and their life giving energy will eliminate your depression. Have you found the lavander or obtained the Ginseng? Frank
From: rightprotect@hotmail.com
To: botanicogruber@hotmail.com
Subject: RE: Passport
Date: Mon, 29 Mar 2010 16:37:28 -0500
Franklin,
I am down on my luck. I feel like shit being in San Antonio where everybody knows me and still recognizes me even without my stick. My problem isn't so much that I am depressed because after all these years I've been proved wrong, I still think money is evil and a way to enslave everyone and their minds, just that it's obvious to me, more than ever, how screwed we really are. That's something that for so long I didn't want to believe was true.
But it seems like I'm the only person that thinks so and was actively doing something about it(at least, I was). Now I feel helpless. People just don't want to listen and are majorly brainwashed to believe we need money and can't see how they're living is wrong. I used to think I could do something about it. I used to think I could wake enough people up to make a huge difference.
It is very difficult accepting that even the internet can't educate these ignoring masses, but I am starting to accept it. It's very traumatic for me. It's a real hell for me being out in our sick society. Seeing all the cameras they've put up to watch us and just knowing things are going to get worse. It seems they're going to get worse soon, globally.
I relapsed today and took a couple hits of weed. This guy who had seen me in Venice Beach California recognized me at the bus terminal. He invited me to smoke and I impulsively told him okay. I had gone almost a month without smoking.
Stupid me tried to tell them my story but they were drinking and I was really rusty since I haven't been telling it for months. Depressed, I just stopped and left. They think I'm a communist. Dumb alcoholic kids were trying to give me advice on my depression.
Anyway, I kind of feel like when I get there I am going to feel that things are messed up in Panama like they are here, and might be even worse there. Granted, San Antonio makes me sick too and I just don't know what to do.
Oh yeah, I saw your youtube video with you advertising your jungle oil. Is that motorcycle how you get around?
Best wishes,
- Victor Antonio
From: botanicogruber@hotmail.com
To: rightprotect@hotmail.com
Subject: RE: Passport
Date: Sat, 27 Mar 2010 10:26:43 -0500
Victor, your not down on your luck! Your just in an environment that is depressing, does not offer you any future. Your boxed in and need fresh INTERNATIONAL AIR with more perspectives. There I felt the same way you feel now. So hang in there until you can get some fresh Panamanian mountain air. You have me here who went through similar problems to help you with the obstacle courses of life, but you need to get here. Give in there and the system will defind you as weak and doctors and the pharmaciutical industry will make tons of money and eventually kill you. Having more freedom here just means learning to be more responsible so you can benefit more from the advantages of Panama.
You could not come at a better time. Today I have an interview with a US businessman that wants to distribute my product in Panama city, thereafter the market is the World!
So hang in there and does not matter if you have to inch your way forward but backward don´t accept it. Accept your future success and work on it. Failure is never failure its an opportunity for growth. No es malo caerse es malo no volver a levantarse. God Bless, Keep in touch. Tuesday, God willing the 150 will be on its way! Love your dad Franklin
From: rightprotect@hotmail.com
To: botanicogruber@hotmail.com
Subject: RE: Passport
Date: Fri, 26 Mar 2010 12:29:15 -0500
Franklin,
Wow, you did make it seem like it would be a paradise. With my weak Spanish and mental problems I don't know if I would be able to handle myself without getting into trouble and making enemies. What other kinds of risks would I be open to among your enemies or any I make for myself? I'm not sure if I could present myself as not being down on my luck, I'm still depressed.
From: botanicogruber@hotmail.com
To: rightprotect@hotmail.com
Subject: RE: Passport
Date: Fri, 26 Mar 2010 09:27:39 -0500
Hello Victor, glad your making headway on the details of the pass port. The expedited method would be best, however, all I can send you for that purpose is 150 at t his time. Have some other problems here that are surfacing. Your smallest brother Patrick age 7 likely has a tumor in his nimph gland near his throat. His face is beginning to swell. Marisol, my present wife, I instructed what to give him and it had almost disappeared except that she has not been consistent with the treatment. Well, today she is at the doctor making an appointment for when he gets out of school this evening. She is a wonderful mother and companion only that in other than woman´s traditional work she is not persistent, forgets to follow through. She wanted to learn english, ok I said lets start, we started with a schedule, did it once or twice, she would not remind me and I was not going to pester her, I work with her initiative, if there is none sufficient, there is not much I can do for her but continue perservering in my goals that feed the family.
This, though, is a common Panamanian trait, this society is not disciplined and it has a fedish for chaos. People here are vary independant but not responsibly so, Panamanians throw garbage all over the place. Here in El Valle many of the Americans who have retired here have one day of the week in which they go out and pick up the garbage the Panamanians drop all over the place, they are trying to teach the Panamanians by example. What counts is that anyone that comes to live in Panama or probably any third world country should come to like if not love the local people so you can have the patience to put up with them. Crime is sky rocketing as well, over 300 juvenile gangs in Panama. We are living though in the MOUNTAIN OASIS but that is no guarantee that we will not be affected by rising crime, last year two local stores where robbed here at gun point. So survival here is an art form, its tip toeing through society without making many waves but having your social contacts ready to help you if some problems come up. So this is not going to be Paradise but simply a set of survival opportunities which also have negative aspects. As my son coming here you need to know who are my friends and enemies. My enemies are not many but you need to know who they are as to avoid their trip wires. Most important you need to learn who are my friends, places where you can stay. For twelve years as I roamed the mountain communities healing all kinds of ailments I acquired a good reputation among those people and when I sufferred a leg injury I was well taken care of by them. That though does not mean that every body in the mountains are my friends. Panama is changing and the World is changing, more agitated and negative than before especially as the uneducated masses increases in number. I traveled the mountains without ever bearing any kind of weapon not so much even as a knife. Now days I pack a knife wherever I go, not that I want to use it but rather it can serve as a deterrent. Today its good to have transportation so one does not come in personal contact with so many negative envious people on the street. That helps also to economize time, get places faster and do more in a day. When the economic activity is over, then there sit the peace of the mountains where one can hike in and share some fraternity. However, there shall come a time when again the whole world is convulsed. Its for that time that millions of people are now preparing to survive. So developing social and communication skills for survival is of vital importance. The days that one just frolicked through the World as an innocent observers are over, the idea so prevalent among youn people that life is a game and they like to play brings disaster as the slightest act has consequences, often serious good or bad consequences. So our first goal here should be survival with dignity. Its better to live a humble life economically speaking but have a lot of money and tools and some land stored away than to flaunt ones status as the rich have been accostomed to doing. The key thing now Victor is that as a family we have a new vehicle...commercially speaking, Gruber´s Wrinkle Cream that does about 30 other varifiable things. Its almost too good to be true but its true. With just 5 galon of this stuff sold at 35 dollars an ounce to tourist and the wealthy class 21,000 dollars can be earned. In Latin America that is a lot of money and the sales activity can be done here, spending an average of only 3 to 4 hours a day, the stuff sells itself when people read the literature and word gets arround. This cream of course is a luxury. Yet a lot of people, foreigners with money are bailing out to Panama, they are mostly old people that do not like wrinkles. A lot of single woman also retired that love to have company now and then.
The basic idea is to present yourself as one more tourist but not one down on your luck so you can mingle among those arriving so they treat you as peer then learn about the medicines and sales get moving by word of mouth. Now do not get me wrong, my idea is not to make you into my sales person. I do not mind just providing you with with one 21,000 tank of concentrate every six months. All you have to due is dilute it in " tree fat" on a 50/50 basis add some rose essence, which is obtainable cheap here. Eventually will sell the formula for several million dollars and if all goes well give you enough of that revenue to retire for life, the same for your sisters and also mother, if she will accept it. Meanwhile there are a lot of dangers while making the product popular....one should sell it through legitimate contacts as we do not want mafia type of people to zero in on it. That is one of the reasons I have been moving at least once a year. When my personal and product profile gets to high do to publicity in one area, I shift to another, eventually I come back as I do not abandon the sales route. Example the year I spent in Boquete I sent product back to El Valle. Now I am back until next december and return then to Chiriqui for the summer or Bocas where there are a lot of sandflies but is also a dangerous area. The over all idea is to end with a national sales route this side of the canal, I can live anywhere along this route and come out and do it so I keep then a low profile. Part of the strategy is to meet as many good people on the route as possible so all kinds of options for food and lodging are always kept open, plus the most secure places in mountains regions should total chaos ever arrive. Apparrently chaos will be almost world wide, the strong and the wise and the economically stable who invested in their survival needs shall have the better chances. Those who do have money saved up can provide the people in their immediate invironment with a large cooking pot so they protect you to secure the next meal. Of course even that is no guarantee but they can serve as a buffer against any local enemiess. In other words one should have all ones survival options fine tuned and ready to use. There are definite advantages to co housing and comunal living if people get along, there is strength in unity, however, the lone optimum survival strategy with dignity and honesty should be a fall back to position. Who knows we may some day become the last survivors in this region. Through my investigations, I have located the entrance to two caves that travel several kilometors and have exits. I definitely am not one to go into caves....I do not like them but they have been traveled before and surved as refuge in small wars in Panama, and we do not know yet how hot the sun will become, all options should be considered. It may be better to even make ones underground hidden refuge areas well stocked with food, medicine, etc. This is futuristic thinking, which turns off those who have their heads stuck in the sand. It is better to have prepared the fall back plans and then go about living as well as you can according to your own style.
The idea is to develop and keep all options open since you do not know in what direction in an emergency one needs to travel, locally, nationally and internationaly.
I am working hard to get you down here as soon as possible. Would rather have my own flesh and blood as a survival companion. It will not be easy, we are working against time, do what you can diplomatically at your end to raise money as well...anything with dignity. Your dad Franklin
From: rightprotect@hotmail.com
To: botanicogruber@hotmail.com
Subject: RE: Passport
Date: Thu, 25 Mar 2010 20:22:37 -0500
Franklin,
From what I've researched online at http://travel.state.gov/passport/get/fees/fees_837.html the passport book will take 4-6 weeks. There's an option for expidited service for $60 more. I have the required documents(birth certificate and driver's license). I'll call the post office tomorrow so I can ask further questions.
I'll see if Ada can give me some money to buy some lavender tea and ginseng. Online I found a tea supplier real close to home.
I don't need a bed to get a good night's sleep. I'm a survivor. I've been camping outside all over the country without one just fine. I have a good sleeping mat and a good sleeping bag(mummy type that stuffs into small compression sack the size of a fat football). In fact, I still sleep in my sleeping bag every night at Ada's, on a bed though. I've evolved into some quality traveling gear over the years. My sleeping bag is rated for only 32 degrees, but I've also got a sleeping bag liner in case it gets cold. In Panama does it get very cold at night? I hope it does. I have a great external frame pack too. I've had it since 2006. It's just like this(http://cgi.ebay.com/ws/eBayISAPI.dll?ViewItem&item=390094030044&rvr_id=&crlp=1_263602_263622&UA=WXI7&GUID=97f706311270a0aad592eb22ffec7889&itemid=390094030044&ff4=263602_263622), but it's blue. The company that makes them went out of business years ago, but I think it's the best pack ever made. I wish I could buy that orange one in the picture.
Take care,
- Victor Antonio
From: botanicogruber@hotmail.com
To: rightprotect@hotmail.com
Subject: Passport
Date: Thu, 25 Mar 2010 16:43:37 -0500
If all continues well here will send you 150 dollars next tuesday morning via Western Union to cover the cost, 120 dollars, of your pass port plus bus fair, etc. Investigate the details of the requirement of filing for a pass port when born in Puerto Rico, what documents you need to present, birth certificate etc. Do your research well so you do not have any last minute delays.
Find a supply of Lavander tea in your area and strenthen your mind, its a brain tonic. Also take one vial of genseng in the morning with orange juice. Take some of your powerful formula you used to drink while on the road, don´t remember the name. Avoid arguments with your mother and sisters...just play along until you can get the hell out of there. That does not mean you don´t love them simply that you know what is best for your self: Freedom from the system, the World is big and you have a right to find the spot which is optimum for you. It does not have to be here, this is merely a starting point but if you decide you want to be part of a survival team, welcome! Co housing is more popular today than ever, a small group of people who share expenses to reduce the cost of living and add mutual protection.
About our housing arrangement. You have three options here. The first the 40 dollar two room miniature apartment, ok for one person but its hot as hell in there in the day time. Good mostly to sleep at night. Its near a creek that is nice to bath in, near an ecological mountain walk where one can hang a hammock next to the creek snooze or read. The second option is the 100 dollar large room where we are now living a bit crowded since its two adults and two children, however, for you it may be more appropriate. Its at Juans place, a backpackers haven, lots of mango trees and backpackers to converse with, nice place to hang a hammock as well. Alternative three costs 200 dollars and that is where I plan to move my family three weeks from now. Its a large house with a terrace in front, no patio, no place to hang the hammock but quite comfortable, not much problem with the heat of the roof since its high up. If we use the concept of co housing, if you work an average of two days a week, so does my step son now in chiriqui, each of you could supply 50 dollars a month, the remaining I would absorb plus the utility bill. Advantages is that we could also pool in in the same proportion on food. Marisol would cook for all of us. We could become a FAMILY THAT EATS AND PRAYS TOGETHER AND STAYS TOGETHER IN DIFFICULT TURBALENT TIMES.
You may try option one, the 40 dollar place a couple of weeks then turn to option two or three if our relationship, economies and affinity permits us to perfect the relationship. Option one comes with a bed, option two and three involves buying you a bed. I am ready to tour you almost as soon as you arrive, share with you the wonders of this region, but all depends on how much rest and privacy you need when you arrive. The main thing is good vibs and communication between us, I do not want to impose anything but merely ask for a minimum of cooperation in effort to help ease the load on all of us after you take a couple weeks vacation. The ideal is for us to work to the degree we all want to, not enslave ourslelfs, yet sufficient to save money and survival tools and not lose our cohesiveness. All participate in a well defined survival plan in which each has had a say in the imput. Also each of us behave in such a way that would honor the group. Our extended survival family is also a large group of Americans i am networking with clear to the frontier to Costa Rica, some of them are millionaires, others are bringing down to Panama several hundred thousand dollars. In a future emergency they may place their hospitality at our disposition, Byllee already has. My current spouse and children already have stayed at her home while visiting the region. We are pledged to helping each other in difficult times. As a whole 70 percent of Americans down here call themselves EXPATRIOTS. At first I did not understand why, now I do....they saw many of the things you have been seeing and hearing and they bailed out in time, bought farms here and are preparing to survive off the land and savings in the times ahead.
The most importnt thing between you and me is to start a clean slate, the introduction of doubt into our relationship will kill it. I as a person move forward with faith and perserverance not with doubt and negativity. Negativity is always a YES/NO, it never produces anything. Had I listened to all the people who said I was a failure I would be demoralized, depressed and indeed a failure. I forgive you for trying to pin that on me but it was not only you but your mother and many other persons. I will not return that to you because I know you are now like a fish out of water with no real opportunity to succeed with the virtues you have. Here i see 4 easy ways for you to live, two I mentioned, bilingual tour guide, selling medicine, but the other two are also viable options...teaching english or better yet better paid teaching conversational spanish to the americans retiring here, the 4th possibility is as a NATURE PHOTOGRAPHER. There are unique things here to be photographed...sloths in trees with young, rare and colorful insects, butterflies and birds, strange colored river shrimp, crawfish...striped like a tiger and blue ones, ideal to be raised in captivity and sold for aquereums. Maybe you can dable in all four as to avoid bordom. From here you can travel and experience other parts of Panama, central America and the World. Panama has the largest merchant marine fleet in the world. I can still be a good father if you allow it. Together we can try every day to improve our relationship, to dwell on the negative of the past is unproductive, we are all here in a learning and growing experience, we can grow together for as long as you wish.
God willing will send you the 150 next tuesday, its intended for your pass port! With 150 dollars I could buy here 1,500 4 ounce bottles that eventually would produce at 5 dollars each 7,500 dollars. This will give you an idea what i am sacraficing when the growth capital is most needed, but your my son and PRICELES! Make the appropriate use of the money! Get me more exact information on the cost of traveling here. Your mother may be saying that I love you all of a sudden. No Victor, its not that at all, its simply a matter of economic feasibility...how could I send you when I did not have any but bad health? And that is not over yet but have faith and hope in God that I can heal my tumors and raise my 7 and 9 year old boys until they are old enough to take care of themselves.
You can overcome ANYTHING. God is in you and powerful, reach out to him and he will reach out to you, he has for me and he can for you as well. We don´t have to move into a church and be a holy roller or a fanatic just recognize that he exists and have faith in him and miracles will continue to happen in our lives. Your Dad Franklin
Keep what your doing confidential, don´t let your anxiety betray you.
From: rightprotect@hotmail.com
To: botanicogruber@hotmail.com
Subject: RE: Passport
Date: Thu, 25 Mar 2010 10:51:41 -0500
Franklin,
I am not blaming you for my mother tripping over the dog, that was just a thing that made the morning a lot more tense and added to my depression. She was already aware of my desire to go to Panama. You're just being defensive.
After traveling around free as a bird for many years I have absolutely no faith in the evil system that is America. Granted, marijuana played a major role in my happiness. It too is part of nature and opened my mind to our potential(or so I thought) freedom.
Everyone thinks it's a bad idea for me to go to Panama, including Diana. I don't mirror their opinion. I want to get out of here as soon as possible. If I had the money I would already be there. My love for San Antonio is long gone. They only think it's a bad idea because they're still under the delusion of our sick society. I don't think I belong here at all. The ship is sinking and people just don't care.
I am still very insecure in my potential though. It's amazing how weak one can feel after having no faith in himself. For all these years I was convinced that I was on the right track. Many people told me I was and I was being reaffirmed daily, unless they were just patronizing me. Probably because I was putting on such a good act.
I still feel like I was telling no lies. I still believe it is human nature to be generous and that money is a big trick and one of the many ways the few control the many. I also still feel marijuana would benefit and pacify the planet and not just from smoking it. Hemp can be used for many things we rely on exhaustible resources for. Freedom is what people truly want. Not the elite though. They just want control.
Then I started itching, traveled back to San Antonio to deal with it, got arrested for exercising my freedoms, stopped smoking weed, learned a little more how the new world order is advancing, the depression came on, I deactivated my website and my mission died.
It's very frustrating being in modern society and not stoned. I don't leave the house much anymore, even to walk. Ada got me a membership at the local gym, which my 13 year old nephew goes to also but I have only gone once and just used the treadmill. I should be going every day, but I don't. My nephew Charlie frustrates me too. Laura dumped him on Ada so she can raise her new daughter. He's had it rough growing up with Laura, but that's no excuse for how he talks back and disrespects my mother. I'm sure he thinks I'm a loser uncle being 32 and living at my mother's. I feel like a loser uncle now that I'm not doing anything. He's in good shape from working out at the gym so much and has a inflated ego. I hate it because he actually tries to give me advice. He's as brainwashed as the rest of them.
I've been told I should go to Narcotics Anoynmous meetings. Are you familiar with them? Do you think they could actually help me?
Best wishes,
- Victor Antonio
From: botanicogruber@hotmail.com
To: rightprotect@hotmail.com
Subject: Passport
Date: Thu, 25 Mar 2010 09:24:29 -0500
Victor, your concern for your moher is genuine. Unfortunately you startled her with the news of your desire to come to Panama starting the day. A more diplomatic approach after breakfast probably would have worked better. When we feel oppressed by life circumstances we all tend to become more impulsive. The tendency is to blame other people for our actions. You tell me your suicidal, your not happy in San Antonio, I open the opportunity for you to come and now because I did I am to blame for what happened to your mother? We are collectively to blame given our past inabilities to understand each other. I pray to God that your mother receive the strength to overcome her trauma of our past bad relationship and open up a positive communication with me for your sake. Blaming each other is NOT SOLVING PROBLEMS that concern us all.
Within 15 days I should have the money together to send to you to obtain your pass port. Even if you do not decide to travel to Panama in the near future its important that you have it to bail out of a society that is making you sick. Why? Because the society is sick! Do you really think that those professionals that drug you up to control you take any responsabilit for the dead people they assasinate with their drugs? There are thousands of patients the world over that learned to heal themselves with faith in God and his divine herbs. Its your decision, the man made system or God´s healing plants. Your dad came out of that system sick, managed to heal his soul, improved the health of his body also, and is now even if late in life on his way to economic success. In the rat race up there all I managed to do, given limited resources, was to wear myself out.
I remember the days when I would go do a job interview. There may have been only 30 dollars in the house and about ten would go for gas just to take the highway that circles San Antonio...wait half a day to be intervewed along with 200 other competitors to then wait three months to see if I would be hired. Our parents woud send us money but they got tired. Finally your grandparents told Ada we cannot send you more money while you have a man next to you, that was what caused Ada to seek a separation. When I went with her to the appointment she had made with the catholic church counselor, no attempt to reconciliate us was made. I was simply told by the counselor that a separation was the best thing for our family. I received that as an insult and told Ada that she was saying she no longer loved me and then proceeded with the separation of body and divorce. Now you do not have any children but your stuck in the same cold hearted system I was stuck in. To be independant and be my own boss in that system would be too expensive, 50,000 or more, now days probably arround 150,000. Do you have that kind of money, the alternative is to become a slave of the system, work your way up in 30 years then promote it as a haven then a few years later die all worn out. My dad who went through the system was hump back by age 60, died at age 62. I still have my back straight and with my knowledge of herbs and fresh air and water and more organic food still have a chance to be arround to lead you and my other children to a better life closer to nature and GOD! I did not allow myself to be brainwashed by the system but heavily to get out of it. Now the system has come down here too but I am a step ahead and working more the informal channels of communication and economy, those are the survival relationships that will prevail when modern civilization collapses, who you can count as a friend to exchange resources, there will not be any money or electricity. Without love those in the cities will be eating each other. To see this in time and to act is wisdom, the signs of social curruption are all arround. Whole civilizations have fallen in the past and why should ours be an exception? So I am preparing for the worst case scenario but working also for the eventuality that I may be wrong, one foot in modern society one foot outside and can jump either way depending on how things evolve. Most people who believe blindly in the system will be trapped and further enslaved by it. Poverty and famine will be the vehicle for the state to take more and more control of your lives. A monkey in the jungles has more peace now days than the average American. Why? At least he knows how to live in his jungle, what to eat, how to escape from the jaguar but with time and age he too will fall victim to his system. The monkey that is genetically endowed with more speed, agility and wisdom will survive longer, he may even become a leader of monkeys. The important thing is not how long he will live but rather how happy he is in his jungle, being happy though may help him lead a longer life and make a contribution to monkey society. How much differrent is man now from monkeys? Had I not left that system Victor, I could not provide an alternative now. So your mom did her half and appropriate for the times since a US education does have more value than that you wouldhave obtained in schools cloned on the US system here, now I offer my experience in survival in this system. Yet no one is forcing you or pressuring you to come here, the world is big and you may find your nitch elsewhere, Panama may just serve as an international station, half way house, to the place that may be optimum for you. Have you ever asked yourself how rats know to leave a sinking ship? Rats are supposed to be stupid.
Well, what ever you decide I respect, just know you have a father here that will receive you and help you to the limit of his ability. God Bless You Victor and guide you to your happiness in this world and ever after. Franklin
From: rightprotect@hotmail.com
To: botanicogruber@hotmail.com
Subject: RE: RESPONSO DE SAN ANTONIO Y TEMAS AFINES...
Date: Tue, 23 Mar 2010 22:04:15 -0500
Franklin,
Are you not an old man? How old are you anyway? This morning I woke up when Ada was leaving for work. I went to her room and told her I wanted to go to Panama and what it would cost. She's against it and immediately told me she didn't have the money for the plane ticket or the passport. I told her how I needed to change my environment and I felt like I didn't belong in the city.
I lay back down to go back to sleep and all of a sudden I heard her scream. I was terrified. She tripped on the dog and had fallen down on the tile floor. She was bruised pretty badly. Very shaken, she still left for work. I'll worry about her a lot if I leave. Especially with the questionable future ahead.
Are you sure you want me to come? Now that I'm not smoking marijuana anymore I feel like I know nothing and have wasted the past seven years on a delusion. Since I haven't been walking I don't even have the good health I used to. Not to mention I'm still addicted to cigarettes.
My unskillfulness is really why I've been depressed. I'm 32 and living at my mother's. You are right, I never learned the meaning of work. Life was a breeze for me when I was free. I thought I was doing a job by my persistent documenting, but it was never really that detailed. I feel like a total loser now. I don't have much to offer the world anymore. I am not disciplined enough to go to school. I always thought school was slave-training, anyway. I'm not even sure I can learn new things with my head injuries and any memory deficits smoking nonstop for years and years has brought.
Flying to Panama seems like a fanciful escape, but I'm a manic depressive wreck. Actually, just depressed. I know staying in San Antonio isn't going to help me get any better either and I am very tempted to come to your fertile valley. In fact, that's been the only interest I've had in a long time since I became depressed. You've presenteed me with a tiny morsel of hope in bettering my situation and I hope it isn't false-hope. I hate being surrounded by all this Babylon, but how can I be sure Panama won't be any less stressful for me or me being there stressful for you? I am sure I'll be a lot more comfortable in nature.
I know I said I've forgiven you, but I still can't forget your abandonment of us and the hell you put Ada through. How can I know for sure you have changed? Just thought I'd let you know what I'm thinking.
Best Wishes,
- Victor Antonio
From: botanicogruber@hotmail.com
To: rightprotect@hotmail.com
Subject: RE: RESPONSO DE SAN ANTONIO Y TEMAS AFINES...
Date: Tue, 23 Mar 2010 09:36:47 -0500
Thanks for the compliment of calling me old man!
I was supposed to go on a long hike with an old man this morning. He is preparing for me a secret that few know about, a wisle that calls ALL ANIMALS. Sounds crazy but through conversation with old hunters in other areas of Panama realized that it did exist. In these mountain islands there is some incredible stuff to be discovered plus plenty of peace and tranquility.
Your problem in America is that your a thinker, philosopher and analyser, not taking anything for granted. The tendency there is to standardize everything for the benefit of a few, people included. In this part of the world, close to nature their is much Uniqueness to be discovered. I knew spontaneously that my soul would not be happy in the so called modern civilization the US has become. I needed more love and Uniqueness in my life. But Panama city and bigger towns where also becoming a reflection of materialistic Western Civilization so I escaped to the mountains. In the mountains I healed myself, found my peace with my maker.
Maybe not tell your mom that you want to live here, just simply that you need the change and environment and would like to visit Panama for a couple of months then make up your mind if you want to return or do something else.
If you like conversing with World Travelors of all kinds, backpackers, etc this is the place to meet them. Like all places it has its good aspects and bad, nevertheless, over all for spiritually oriented people I believe this is the Oasis in the mountains.
I have a knew and revolutionary product come out of the heart and soul of the uniqueness of these mountains GRUBER'S WRINKLE CREAM. Its beginning to sell like hot cakes at 35 dollars an ounce! If I just sell 4 a day nation wide with distributors, at a cost of 25 dollars, well that is 100 dollars a day or 3,000 a month. This stuff is green gold, maybe I and my family including you can enjoy the fruits of labor and mountain peace after all, possibly a happy ending to our odessy! Will forward a testimony from Byllee Burgess, she is 67 and all her wrinkles have disappeared, after that she decided to become a distributor and is doing quite well.
I will be working on the economics of getting you here at this end, work on at least getting the pass port on that end. Remember where there is a will there is a way, let s shoot for a 60 day dead line to get you here!
Forward Byllees Testimonial to your mom, here it went out to 2,000 Americans living in Panama. The Old Man, Frank
From: rightprotect@hotmail.com
To: botanicogruber@hotmail.com
Subject: RE: RESPONSO DE SAN ANTONIO Y TEMAS AFINES...
Date: Tue, 23 Mar 2010 01:57:08 -0500
Franklin,
The price for a passport is $135. Used to be a hundred bucks but they went up recently. I've spent a while researching airfares too. A one-way ticket from SAT to PTN(Tecumen) is $400-$500. It would be cheaper and less complicated if I were to hitchhike to Houston and catch the plane there(IAH). If I were to book a flight that didn't go to Miami first I could be in Panama City in four hours.
I've been thinking lately and you are right. I drastically need to change my environment. I hate living in society here in San Antonio and would love to be someplace more natural. I haven't been walking that much lately because I get really uncomfortable outside hearing cars zooming by. It's a constant reminder of how we live in a world where wrong has right-of-way. It really distresses me.
I would feel bad for ditching Ada here. She would worry so much and appreciates the help I give her at her house, but alas, she is brainwashed and does not understand where I come from and only tries to mother me. She wants to help me and believes I wouldn't be wasting my time seeing a psychiatrist. I disagree and think psychiatry is evil and is a big gear of the money machine that dehumanizes people. I think the drugs they get you hooked on damage the soul.
I am in the process of applying for disability for my head injuries but I don't think I'm going to wait around for that. I am very doubtful I will get approved and even if I had a check every month and not have to work here I would just be bored and not do anything. I'll talk to Ada tomorrow and let her know what I am contemplating. She's already frustrated with me with my up-and-downs and will plead for me not to go.
I figure if I'm ready to kill myself here, what do I have to lose by leaving San Antonio and starting over in a more natural place? My Spanish is a little rusty and I hope it comes back.
I'll see if Ada is willing to help me with this venture, but I am doubtful. I don't know how else I could raise any money though. We don't have a lawnmower or anything and if Ada is going to buy one for me I would rather her fund my escape.
Well, I'm dead tired and need to go to sleep. Best wishes old man.
- Victor Antonio
From: botanicogruber@hotmail.com
To: rightprotect@hotmail.com
Subject: RE: RESPONSO DE SAN ANTONIO Y TEMAS AFINES...
Date: Mon, 22 Mar 2010 19:27:33 -0500
Investigate the exact cost of the plane ticket and obtaining a pass port and let me know, possibly I can contribute, maybe we can do it in three ways, you, your mom and me. I have to maintain a reserve of cash to keep things going businesswise at this end. If all comes to a hault then I will kick in the survival system, meanwhile the accumulation of money for tools, etc is important. Frank
From: rightprotect@hotmail.com
To: botanicogruber@hotmail.com
Subject: RE: RESPONSO DE SAN ANTONIO Y TEMAS AFINES...
Date: Sat, 20 Mar 2010 13:14:57 -0500
Franklin,
It is very tempting the accomodations you offer, but my mom isn't going to pay for my airfare. Ada wants to help me and probably wouldn't view sending me to you as much help if any. Isn't the plane ticket like a thousand dollars or so? Plus, I don't even have a passport.
I agreed to see a psychiatrist even though I have no trust in them or our evil system. If the drugs they put me on will kill me eventually, oh well, I was planning on dying anyway. I told Ada I would try it, just to evaluate it, but I am really doubtful. If with medication I feel better, than logic would have it that I would become dependent on their drugs and would have to wean myself off of them just as with any other drug.
Back in 2003 you told me I might be added to a world government "black list" and that I would be an enemy of society wherever I went. Don't you think it would raise some attention if I were to apply for a passport(a hundred bucks I don't have)and then flew to Panama? Big brother is most likely watching. What makes you think Panama is immune from the current global situation and I'd be safer there? What makes you think our emails haven't been read by agents already? They were, after all posted on my site for the world to read. But even these recent ones are available to people who know what they are doing. I can't trust anybody.
Also, the volcanic valley you live in will not likely remain inactive with all the earth changes taking place. Remember krakatoa? Ka-boom!
- Victor Antonio
From: botanicogruber@hotmail.com
To: rightprotect@hotmail.com
Subject: RE: RESPONSO DE SAN ANTONIO Y TEMAS AFINES...
Date: Thu, 18 Mar 2010 18:25:46 -0500
Victor, my apology in the delay in reading and responding to your last letter. I had recently moved back to EL Valle de Anton where I am updating my SURVIVAL TECHNOLOGIES. In your own way you have been out on the road, an observer of the fast line of the rat race...but mostly observing. That observing is of great value, it will bring you great wisdom with time. Failure in life is natural. No one fails or succeeds all the time, its from the ashes that fertilize trees that fruit can be beared. Everything is cyclical in nature. The meaning of your odessy will become clearer to you with time. American as a whole is depressed spiritually. Its still possible for you to step out and come this way. Once here you can exchange thoughts and ideas, get a new and differrent perspective in life. There are herbs here that work better than head shrinkers. While there is LIFE, there is HOPE!
If I had the money to send for you now I would. I do have some that I developed that will go for 35 dollars an ounce....a cosmetic that eliminates wrinkles and facial stains, leaves hands and face nice and soft. I am planning in the future to take an ocean line cruiser and sell my product to the 2,500 old people that are the ones usually fleeing the cold ion the winter. One needs something light with value to pay one´s way in the adventures throughout the world. I know you are not into selling....but you need a vehicle and something that almost sells its self.
I have rented a two room apartment for 40 dollars a month. If Ada will pay your way here I will turn it over to you. I live elsewhere with my wife and children but keep this room as a fall back position should the economy collapse. You could live there, one mile away from us, and eat your meals at our home. My time here in EL Valle is free now about 80 percent of the time, I am semi retired, don´t need much bacause here I know where to get everything dirt cheap. What is nice about El Valle, a community inside the mouth of an extinct volcano, is the energy, life giving energy, everything is close by, the bus makes a round inside the Valley that takes 15 minutes for .50 cents, we have four big supermarkets, plenty of organic food, excellent spring water, and the beaches are only 30 minutes away by car....miles and miles sof beaches with dozens of resort areas.
The easiest and simplest job here if you want some part time work is as a tour guide, bilingual people are extremely scarce and the hour of bilingual tour guide goes for 10 dollars. If you come my way for the first two months shall pay your rent and provide you food, thereafter if you want to stay will try and make it as easy as possible for you until you get new bearing and interest in life. Although I hate the city, due to the car fumes and dangers, I will meet you at the airport if you decie to come and visit with me. Remember, should you decide to stay, you have a right to Panamanian citizenship without losing your US citizenship as far as I know. Anyone with a Panamanian parent is entitled to Panamanina citizenship. I have dual nationality. I what you say is true about the 800 concentration camps, what are you waiting for to BAIL OUT OF THE US? Follow your intuition, the head shrinkers will put you on medication that will kill you eventually, it did my brother John, the lithium carbonate ate up his kidneys and died of dialysis. Get back in touch with nature and nature will make you free!
God Bless you and Ada and Sister, Franklin
From: rightprotect@hotmail.com
To: botanicogruber@hotmail.com
Subject: RE: RESPONSO DE SAN ANTONIO Y TEMAS AFINES...
Date: Fri, 12 Mar 2010 11:48:29 -0600
Hi Frank,
Things have been terrible for me lately. I have been so depressed and wanting to die. I stopped smoking weed. It seems that now when I smoke it really opens my mind up to all the problems with the world and I get real depressed. It's like my kryptonite. I have utterly lost all hope and have quit my mission. My life has lost all of its purpose and I have absolutely nothing now.
I truly believe a lot of people are going to die very soon as the new world order advances and I'll be one of them. I have been glued to Youtube watching new world order videos. Ada doesn't like this obsession of mine and would rather I ignore it like she does. It makes a lot of sense though. The term 'ignorance is bliss' really comes to mind because if I hadn't learned these things I might be able to keep playing along and get a job working for money. I think things are more wrong than ever now.
I have stopped documenting my life because I am no longer proud of it at all. I'm not walking anymore either and just wasting away at Ada's doing nothing. Recently, a friend I made in Florida two years ago named Echo invited me to attend a US Department of Peace conference in Austin. I said sure and rode the Greyhound up to Austin. I took all my traveling gear with me because I was supposed to fly to Florida and live with her there. I thought hey, my life sucks and I want peace so let me give this a shot. So I went. When I got out in the real world again I got scared and remembered why I had dropped out.
Echo and I were hosted at these student's house. They all smoked weed, like a lot of students these days do. I tried telling my story, and they were interested at first, but in the middle of it a lot said they had to go and I didn't get to finish. The next day, the day of the conference I changed my mind about attending and rode the Greyhound back to San Antonio. I let Echo and everyone else down. I don't trust the government at all and I know they don't really want peace. It's false hope they're giving people.
My court stuff was dismissed. I had some free legal help from a college here. We were going to have a jury trial and everything. The policeman never showed up so they just dismissed it without even hearing it. Being arrested was also a reminder of how we are slowly losing our rights. The police state is coming soon.
I feel like I should kill myself before they start rounding people up and sending them to concentration camps to be tortured and killed.
I've been going around telling the same exact story for seven years now and frankly I have gotten tired of telling it. I feel very ashamed walking around with my walking stick and world peace through marijuana shirt. I'm stupid to think that what I was doing was going to bring world peace. I thought if enough people knew the truth it could stop the new world order, but it seems to me now that resistence is futile. This Victor has failed. I have nothing to show for myself now. I even deactivated my website.
Also thanks to Youtube I've learned that the internet will be shut down soon. They're going to replace it with Internet 2, fiber optic based and supposedely ten thousand times faster, but censored and government controlled. No personal websites. No pirated software. Pirated software has been my big weapon against money. I feel if I go around telling my same story I'd be lying to people. A lot of these "conspiracy theories" make a lot of sense.
The government is building concentration camps all over the country, 800 of them so far. Google "FEMA Camps" and "depopulation plans." They're building all these detention camps all around the country along with mass graves and ovens all nazi-style. They want to depopulate 90% of humanity. The entire middle class and more.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BIbuRMVVekg&feature=related Here's a depopulation movie and also click on the suggested videos too.
Also Google "HAARP." It's how they control the weather and start earthquakes. I am convinced the government caused the Haiti and Chile ones also Hurricane Katrina back in New Orleans. 9-11 is another event that frightens me, just like they want it to. Things are going to get worse, not better.
I am going through some major marijuana withdrawal. Not too long ago when I went over to the only friends I had in the neighborhood they gave me a hit of weed and we were watching some scary movie where these two guys broke into a house and stabbed the parents and raped the little girl. Since I was all stoned I started dwelling on my pathetic situation and had an anxiety attack and collapsed on their floor. I felt like I was dying. I didn't lose consciousness or anything. I just leaned over and put my forehead on the carpet. This freaked out my friends and when I calmed down I walked home. I hadn't smoked for a couple of weeks and I attribued my attack to marijuana and my depression. I probably won't go over there ever again.
I have absolutely no friends now. I can't seem to find anything to do either. Nothing at all interests me. I feel like I've wasted my life away these past seven years. I don't know what's real now. The only reason I haven't killed myself is Ada.
To top off my fears, this guy knocked on the door a couple of days ago. He was wearing a white suit and said he was doing a background check on the neighbor boy next door for an internship. He asked me for my name and I gave it to him and asked me what I did for a living. I told him I was unemployed. Then I noticed the masonic symbol on his ring. It seems like he's recruiting my neighbor.
It's not that I think I have been wrong all these years, more like I am scared I have been right. Whenever I smoked marijuana it made me want peace and motivated me to walk. Now that I'm not smoking I just stay on the computer all day and smoke cigarettes in the backyard. The hardest thing about being a success is to keep being a success and I have stopped. I am just a failure now. I feel like nothing is worth fighting for it we're all just going to be killed soon. At least all of the middle class. I just feel like giving up now. I've lost hope.
Ada wants to take me to see a psychiatrist but I don't trust them either. They'll just want to medicate me. I don't trust anybody.
The fall of Victor
:[
Alot of the medicinal herbs we will be studying grow along the creeks and rivers so no harm in dabbling in this exotic art of prospecting. If ever we needed the extra cash, is now. We need to buy a farm and each son have his inheritance before I die of cancer. The tumors have been there for 20 years, managed to control them and almost eliminate them several times but with the advent of age each time its more difficult. They are now swollen and can hardly shit. Yet my faith in herbs and God is so great, I know that once I nose dive back into nature and my beloved mountains that I will be able to heal them! But there is still time to get to know each other and do some good things together. Old people have to die some day! Frank
From: rightprotect@hotmail.com
To: botanicogruber@hotmail.com
Subject: RE: Passport
Date: Wed, 31 Mar 2010 20:20:02 -0500
Franklin,
After many a long bus ride and waiting I applied for my passport today at the post office. Ada gave me ten dollars so I could get pictures taken. I left the house around 12:00pm, walked to the store and got my passport pictures taken. After an hour busrise downtown and another hour to get to the post office, I got there about 2pm and had to wait like three or four more hours waiting to apply. It ended up being only $100. Normal wait time was 4-6 weeks and I contemplated not paying the extra $60, but that's what you sent it for so I paid it.
My passport should arrive in 3 weeks or less, they said. Now you tell me it might be 3 months and I really should'nt have expedited it for sixty dollars. Oh well. At least I had twenty bucks left over and was able to buy a burger for the long wait to get home. It's 8pm and I just got home.
Being out in society really get to me here. It's very hard for me seeing all this civilization, brainwashed people and traffic everywhere. After so many years making my presence known in this town and now that I've given up the fight I feel nothing but shame here. I thought I could wake people up, but there's not much use in trying. Everytime I get out of the house reminds me of how screwed everyone is.
I find it also difficult to talk to people. I have trouble gathering my thoughts and conveying what I'm thinking. I think a lot about the near future and how I doubt things will be better for me in Panama. But I need to go somewhere other than here so I will give it a shot still. I hope things will change for the better.
Best wishes,
- Victor Antonio
From: botanicogruber@hotmail.com
To: rightprotect@hotmail.com
Subject: RE: Passport
Date: Wed, 31 Mar 2010 12:14:46 -0500
Herbalism can be a survival tool for you until you find something better. One formula I have, i pound of the dried herb, can produce 1,000 20 dollar vials of antivenum for viper snake bites, which accounts for about 99 of bites. Its the esiest of all to prepare, just three herbs that are ancient and proven effective to increase the odds of arriving alive at the hospital. Will share this secret with you and can prepare it together when you arrive.
Also would like to introduce you to MARIA CANDELARIA, our oldest living herbalist treasure, working in ALMOST PERFECT HEALTH at age 101! I am her student, you too can be if you chose. She has over 100 medicinal plants growing in two acres in her back yard. Frank
From: rightprotect@hotmail.com
To: botanicogruber@hotmail.com
Subject: RE: Passport
Date: Wed, 31 Mar 2010 01:52:41 -0500
Franklin,
I'm sorry if my last email offended you. The government is not made up of all people, just a few people, a very small percentage and they're the ones who are evil. If us(the majority) would finally wake up and realize that there are more of us than them their rule over us would come down like a house of cards. We've been tricked into being evil. Hurt not the earth nor the seas nor the trees! And here we are doing their dirty work. That's why I think a lot of people are going to die soon. Payback's a bitch.
Granted, they have thousands of years of practice and planning to pin us down without us even being aware, plus a lot of new fancy technology now to aid in the brainwashing, but in the end they're nothing compared to the power we could possess collectively if we were to seek it collectively.
I would be wary to ride on your motorcycle, but I will if need be. As long as I am wearing a helmet. I hope you are in the habit of wearing one too. If not you don't want to learn the hard way, trust me. Is that how you would pick me up from the airport? I'll have my big external frame pack and a backpack. I'm still wondering if I should bring my walking stick. You could just meet me at the airport and we could ride the bus together. The bus is your friend. Or I could just ride the bus to El Valle myself. I'm sure I could figure it out. Isn't it only like 90 miles or so away from Panama City? Albrook bus terminal, $3.50, right?
With my dislike for society I don't see myself mingling too much with people at first other than just to say hello. Also because my Spanish is real rusty and I believe I think a little slower now.
Trust me, I'll be a newcomer to your domain and under your wing. I won't be putting you down to other people who know you and your influence. I won't bite the hand that feeds me, even if its taken you this long. I am a big believer in that you reap what you sow. I'll respect you as you respect me. It's a fresh start for both of us.
I took a long walk to the grocery store today and got the $180. Tomorrow I'm going to get my passport pictures taken for ten bucks then ride the bus out to the post office and apply for my passport. I'll let you know how it goes when I get back.
Sorry for the bipolarness recently. It seems like you're getting your hopes up about me. I feel like shit though and I really hope a change of scenery will make me better. I know I don't belong in San Antonio. I get tired of Ada's guilt trips and complaining. I worry about her enough. I fear she's going to die because of all the stress she goes through. She brings most of it on herself and never wants to take the blame for anything. I really hope she's okay after I leave.
Another thing, I noticed you speak English great. Do most people in El Valle speak English? I'd like to think I'd get a lot of practice speaking Spanish. I hope it just comes back to me after a while. Well, I should get to bed now, I've got a little running around to do tomorrow.
See ya later,
- Victor Antonio
From: botanicogruber@hotmail.com
To: rightprotect@hotmail.com
Subject: RE: Passport
Date: Tue, 30 Mar 2010 20:35:06 -0500
The government is made up from people, so people are evil?--if they chose to be? Money is like a machete, you can use it to cut grass and plant croups that give life or you can use it to kill, its not that the machete is evil, its the use of it. a tree is known by its fruits.
So long as you have a fighting spirit there is hope for you,,,,one has to fight the world, the envy, the ambition of others, their hate to make your love felt in the world.
I asked you about your weight to know if both of us could travel at times on the motorcycle. I weigh about 210 pounds. It can carry 400 pounds.
It seems to me you need to buy an island or large farm where you can invite like minded people. There you can build your utopian society....some one has to try new models of existence. about marijuana, its your choice, yes or no. I quite alcohol because it no longer did anything for me rather the last two beers I had caused the tumor in my arm to ache the next few days, so I quit.
It would be best for you to have your own room near by so you could lead your life the way you want to without any rules from me. I will pay your rent the first two months and you can eat at our place during meal hours. what you decide of the various options to make enough money to survive thereafter you will with time know.
about me being brain washed, that is a value judgment. I live in a society and have to abide to a minmum accepting some common rules in order to avoid conflict. The simplest of them all is.... no te metas con otros para que no se metan con tigo. Lets try and live peacefully in the same town without talking bad to others about our personal relationship or lack of one. If you speak good of me to others I will continue to help you. I won´t accept a yes no disrespectful relationship, we can differ but lets keep that to ourselves. I am not like a mother who will accept and cudle you regardless of what you do, I treat you the way you treat me. I prefer to treat you vary well.
about god. does he have to prove himself to you, or you to him? Should the creation be worthy of the creator?
Best wishes to you to. hope to see you soon. franklin.
From: rightprotect@hotmail.com
To: botanicogruber@hotmail.com
Subject: RE: Passport
Date: Tue, 30 Mar 2010 15:00:00 -0500
Franklin,
The government is evil. Money is printed and given value by the government and all it's social conditioning. Thus, money is evil. It's a big trick and they've got everybody fooled, including you.
You did not address any of my concerns in my last email. Back when I was on my mission and magical things were happening to me, I believed in love. But ever since I was cursed with what I thought was scabies and began to itch, my faith in love grew weaker. I don't have faith in much now, especially myself. Now I feel as if I truly know nothing. Because I don't know anything, I am still a firm believer in that anything is possible. So if there is a god and supreme being it just hasn't been proven to me. I'm not saying it's impossible. The technology is here to beam voices into people's minds so even if I heard some telepathic voice I might still be doubtful.
You say spirituality is a personal experience and no one can experience it for me. How are you so positive that the supreme lord has a mission for me, or that it's even a he? Do you think it is human? One could say you've been brainwashed to believe what you believe, just like everyone else is. Except for me, it seems when I had my head injuries it somewhat reset my mind and I shed that conditioning.
Romans 13 is another reason I think the bible and Christianity is just a way to control the masses. It enforces both government, money and the act of paying taxes. All which I think are wrong.
I do own a digital camera. How do you think I took all the pictures on my site? It was given to me in San Luis Obispo last year. It's got a touch-screen interface and all. It has one little glitch, but it's still usable. I've got the battery charger for it.
Ugh, you keep reiterating smoking pot and I don't smoke pot anymore. I did yesterday but it was just a little and it brought me down so I'm not likely to do it again. At least not while I am still depressed. Maybe when and if I get my life together more. If I smoke again it won't be an all-day everyday thing.
In my eyes escaping the rat race would be total freedom with no money. Money defines the rat race.
I weigh about 165-170lbs. Being 6'6" that sounds underweight, but I don't think I'm skinny. I'm streamlined. How much do you weigh? It seems like you've got a gut from what I saw.
Tomorrow I'll wake up early and get the money and go to the post office to apply for a passport. I'll bring my birth certificate but I'll also need two pictures taken of me. I think that costs ten dollars, so I'll ask Ada if she can help. If not at least I'll find out the minor details. I'm still a bit unsure about this, but like you said, even if I decide not to come to Panama it's still a good idea to get a passport incase I need to bail out. So thanks for your help.
Best wishes,
- Victor Antonio
From: botanicogruber@hotmail.com
To: rightprotect@hotmail.com
Subject: RE: Passport
Date: Tue, 30 Mar 2010 13:05:02 -0500
Money is not by itself evil, its the uses you put it to than can be good or evil. However, for some reason Jesus said my kingdom is not from this World! He wants us to focus on HIM, not on churches or religion, God made man and man made religion! The sacred words of Jesus are not a religion, just turn to him and the Supreme Lord and their life giving energy will eliminate your depression. Have you found the lavander or obtained the Ginseng? Frank
From: rightprotect@hotmail.com
To: botanicogruber@hotmail.com
Subject: RE: Passport
Date: Mon, 29 Mar 2010 16:37:28 -0500
Franklin,
I am down on my luck. I feel like shit being in San Antonio where everybody knows me and still recognizes me even without my stick. My problem isn't so much that I am depressed because after all these years I've been proved wrong, I still think money is evil and a way to enslave everyone and their minds, just that it's obvious to me, more than ever, how screwed we really are. That's something that for so long I didn't want to believe was true.
But it seems like I'm the only person that thinks so and was actively doing something about it(at least, I was). Now I feel helpless. People just don't want to listen and are majorly brainwashed to believe we need money and can't see how they're living is wrong. I used to think I could do something about it. I used to think I could wake enough people up to make a huge difference.
It is very difficult accepting that even the internet can't educate these ignoring masses, but I am starting to accept it. It's very traumatic for me. It's a real hell for me being out in our sick society. Seeing all the cameras they've put up to watch us and just knowing things are going to get worse. It seems they're going to get worse soon, globally.
I relapsed today and took a couple hits of weed. This guy who had seen me in Venice Beach California recognized me at the bus terminal. He invited me to smoke and I impulsively told him okay. I had gone almost a month without smoking.
Stupid me tried to tell them my story but they were drinking and I was really rusty since I haven't been telling it for months. Depressed, I just stopped and left. They think I'm a communist. Dumb alcoholic kids were trying to give me advice on my depression.
Anyway, I kind of feel like when I get there I am going to feel that things are messed up in Panama like they are here, and might be even worse there. Granted, San Antonio makes me sick too and I just don't know what to do.
Oh yeah, I saw your youtube video with you advertising your jungle oil. Is that motorcycle how you get around?
Best wishes,
- Victor Antonio
From: botanicogruber@hotmail.com
To: rightprotect@hotmail.com
Subject: RE: Passport
Date: Sat, 27 Mar 2010 10:26:43 -0500
Victor, your not down on your luck! Your just in an environment that is depressing, does not offer you any future. Your boxed in and need fresh INTERNATIONAL AIR with more perspectives. There I felt the same way you feel now. So hang in there until you can get some fresh Panamanian mountain air. You have me here who went through similar problems to help you with the obstacle courses of life, but you need to get here. Give in there and the system will defind you as weak and doctors and the pharmaciutical industry will make tons of money and eventually kill you. Having more freedom here just means learning to be more responsible so you can benefit more from the advantages of Panama.
You could not come at a better time. Today I have an interview with a US businessman that wants to distribute my product in Panama city, thereafter the market is the World!
So hang in there and does not matter if you have to inch your way forward but backward don´t accept it. Accept your future success and work on it. Failure is never failure its an opportunity for growth. No es malo caerse es malo no volver a levantarse. God Bless, Keep in touch. Tuesday, God willing the 150 will be on its way! Love your dad Franklin
From: rightprotect@hotmail.com
To: botanicogruber@hotmail.com
Subject: RE: Passport
Date: Fri, 26 Mar 2010 12:29:15 -0500
Franklin,
Wow, you did make it seem like it would be a paradise. With my weak Spanish and mental problems I don't know if I would be able to handle myself without getting into trouble and making enemies. What other kinds of risks would I be open to among your enemies or any I make for myself? I'm not sure if I could present myself as not being down on my luck, I'm still depressed.
From: botanicogruber@hotmail.com
To: rightprotect@hotmail.com
Subject: RE: Passport
Date: Fri, 26 Mar 2010 09:27:39 -0500
Hello Victor, glad your making headway on the details of the pass port. The expedited method would be best, however, all I can send you for that purpose is 150 at t his time. Have some other problems here that are surfacing. Your smallest brother Patrick age 7 likely has a tumor in his nimph gland near his throat. His face is beginning to swell. Marisol, my present wife, I instructed what to give him and it had almost disappeared except that she has not been consistent with the treatment. Well, today she is at the doctor making an appointment for when he gets out of school this evening. She is a wonderful mother and companion only that in other than woman´s traditional work she is not persistent, forgets to follow through. She wanted to learn english, ok I said lets start, we started with a schedule, did it once or twice, she would not remind me and I was not going to pester her, I work with her initiative, if there is none sufficient, there is not much I can do for her but continue perservering in my goals that feed the family.
This, though, is a common Panamanian trait, this society is not disciplined and it has a fedish for chaos. People here are vary independant but not responsibly so, Panamanians throw garbage all over the place. Here in El Valle many of the Americans who have retired here have one day of the week in which they go out and pick up the garbage the Panamanians drop all over the place, they are trying to teach the Panamanians by example. What counts is that anyone that comes to live in Panama or probably any third world country should come to like if not love the local people so you can have the patience to put up with them. Crime is sky rocketing as well, over 300 juvenile gangs in Panama. We are living though in the MOUNTAIN OASIS but that is no guarantee that we will not be affected by rising crime, last year two local stores where robbed here at gun point. So survival here is an art form, its tip toeing through society without making many waves but having your social contacts ready to help you if some problems come up. So this is not going to be Paradise but simply a set of survival opportunities which also have negative aspects. As my son coming here you need to know who are my friends and enemies. My enemies are not many but you need to know who they are as to avoid their trip wires. Most important you need to learn who are my friends, places where you can stay. For twelve years as I roamed the mountain communities healing all kinds of ailments I acquired a good reputation among those people and when I sufferred a leg injury I was well taken care of by them. That though does not mean that every body in the mountains are my friends. Panama is changing and the World is changing, more agitated and negative than before especially as the uneducated masses increases in number. I traveled the mountains without ever bearing any kind of weapon not so much even as a knife. Now days I pack a knife wherever I go, not that I want to use it but rather it can serve as a deterrent. Today its good to have transportation so one does not come in personal contact with so many negative envious people on the street. That helps also to economize time, get places faster and do more in a day. When the economic activity is over, then there sit the peace of the mountains where one can hike in and share some fraternity. However, there shall come a time when again the whole world is convulsed. Its for that time that millions of people are now preparing to survive. So developing social and communication skills for survival is of vital importance. The days that one just frolicked through the World as an innocent observers are over, the idea so prevalent among youn people that life is a game and they like to play brings disaster as the slightest act has consequences, often serious good or bad consequences. So our first goal here should be survival with dignity. Its better to live a humble life economically speaking but have a lot of money and tools and some land stored away than to flaunt ones status as the rich have been accostomed to doing. The key thing now Victor is that as a family we have a new vehicle...commercially speaking, Gruber´s Wrinkle Cream that does about 30 other varifiable things. Its almost too good to be true but its true. With just 5 galon of this stuff sold at 35 dollars an ounce to tourist and the wealthy class 21,000 dollars can be earned. In Latin America that is a lot of money and the sales activity can be done here, spending an average of only 3 to 4 hours a day, the stuff sells itself when people read the literature and word gets arround. This cream of course is a luxury. Yet a lot of people, foreigners with money are bailing out to Panama, they are mostly old people that do not like wrinkles. A lot of single woman also retired that love to have company now and then.
The basic idea is to present yourself as one more tourist but not one down on your luck so you can mingle among those arriving so they treat you as peer then learn about the medicines and sales get moving by word of mouth. Now do not get me wrong, my idea is not to make you into my sales person. I do not mind just providing you with with one 21,000 tank of concentrate every six months. All you have to due is dilute it in " tree fat" on a 50/50 basis add some rose essence, which is obtainable cheap here. Eventually will sell the formula for several million dollars and if all goes well give you enough of that revenue to retire for life, the same for your sisters and also mother, if she will accept it. Meanwhile there are a lot of dangers while making the product popular....one should sell it through legitimate contacts as we do not want mafia type of people to zero in on it. That is one of the reasons I have been moving at least once a year. When my personal and product profile gets to high do to publicity in one area, I shift to another, eventually I come back as I do not abandon the sales route. Example the year I spent in Boquete I sent product back to El Valle. Now I am back until next december and return then to Chiriqui for the summer or Bocas where there are a lot of sandflies but is also a dangerous area. The over all idea is to end with a national sales route this side of the canal, I can live anywhere along this route and come out and do it so I keep then a low profile. Part of the strategy is to meet as many good people on the route as possible so all kinds of options for food and lodging are always kept open, plus the most secure places in mountains regions should total chaos ever arrive. Apparrently chaos will be almost world wide, the strong and the wise and the economically stable who invested in their survival needs shall have the better chances. Those who do have money saved up can provide the people in their immediate invironment with a large cooking pot so they protect you to secure the next meal. Of course even that is no guarantee but they can serve as a buffer against any local enemiess. In other words one should have all ones survival options fine tuned and ready to use. There are definite advantages to co housing and comunal living if people get along, there is strength in unity, however, the lone optimum survival strategy with dignity and honesty should be a fall back to position. Who knows we may some day become the last survivors in this region. Through my investigations, I have located the entrance to two caves that travel several kilometors and have exits. I definitely am not one to go into caves....I do not like them but they have been traveled before and surved as refuge in small wars in Panama, and we do not know yet how hot the sun will become, all options should be considered. It may be better to even make ones underground hidden refuge areas well stocked with food, medicine, etc. This is futuristic thinking, which turns off those who have their heads stuck in the sand. It is better to have prepared the fall back plans and then go about living as well as you can according to your own style.
The idea is to develop and keep all options open since you do not know in what direction in an emergency one needs to travel, locally, nationally and internationaly.
I am working hard to get you down here as soon as possible. Would rather have my own flesh and blood as a survival companion. It will not be easy, we are working against time, do what you can diplomatically at your end to raise money as well...anything with dignity. Your dad Franklin
From: rightprotect@hotmail.com
To: botanicogruber@hotmail.com
Subject: RE: Passport
Date: Thu, 25 Mar 2010 20:22:37 -0500
Franklin,
From what I've researched online at http://travel.state.gov/passport/get/fees/fees_837.html the passport book will take 4-6 weeks. There's an option for expidited service for $60 more. I have the required documents(birth certificate and driver's license). I'll call the post office tomorrow so I can ask further questions.
I'll see if Ada can give me some money to buy some lavender tea and ginseng. Online I found a tea supplier real close to home.
I don't need a bed to get a good night's sleep. I'm a survivor. I've been camping outside all over the country without one just fine. I have a good sleeping mat and a good sleeping bag(mummy type that stuffs into small compression sack the size of a fat football). In fact, I still sleep in my sleeping bag every night at Ada's, on a bed though. I've evolved into some quality traveling gear over the years. My sleeping bag is rated for only 32 degrees, but I've also got a sleeping bag liner in case it gets cold. In Panama does it get very cold at night? I hope it does. I have a great external frame pack too. I've had it since 2006. It's just like this(http://cgi.ebay.com/ws/eBayISAPI.dll?ViewItem&item=390094030044&rvr_id=&crlp=1_263602_263622&UA=WXI7&GUID=97f706311270a0aad592eb22ffec7889&itemid=390094030044&ff4=263602_263622), but it's blue. The company that makes them went out of business years ago, but I think it's the best pack ever made. I wish I could buy that orange one in the picture.
Take care,
- Victor Antonio
From: botanicogruber@hotmail.com
To: rightprotect@hotmail.com
Subject: Passport
Date: Thu, 25 Mar 2010 16:43:37 -0500
If all continues well here will send you 150 dollars next tuesday morning via Western Union to cover the cost, 120 dollars, of your pass port plus bus fair, etc. Investigate the details of the requirement of filing for a pass port when born in Puerto Rico, what documents you need to present, birth certificate etc. Do your research well so you do not have any last minute delays.
Find a supply of Lavander tea in your area and strenthen your mind, its a brain tonic. Also take one vial of genseng in the morning with orange juice. Take some of your powerful formula you used to drink while on the road, don´t remember the name. Avoid arguments with your mother and sisters...just play along until you can get the hell out of there. That does not mean you don´t love them simply that you know what is best for your self: Freedom from the system, the World is big and you have a right to find the spot which is optimum for you. It does not have to be here, this is merely a starting point but if you decide you want to be part of a survival team, welcome! Co housing is more popular today than ever, a small group of people who share expenses to reduce the cost of living and add mutual protection.
About our housing arrangement. You have three options here. The first the 40 dollar two room miniature apartment, ok for one person but its hot as hell in there in the day time. Good mostly to sleep at night. Its near a creek that is nice to bath in, near an ecological mountain walk where one can hang a hammock next to the creek snooze or read. The second option is the 100 dollar large room where we are now living a bit crowded since its two adults and two children, however, for you it may be more appropriate. Its at Juans place, a backpackers haven, lots of mango trees and backpackers to converse with, nice place to hang a hammock as well. Alternative three costs 200 dollars and that is where I plan to move my family three weeks from now. Its a large house with a terrace in front, no patio, no place to hang the hammock but quite comfortable, not much problem with the heat of the roof since its high up. If we use the concept of co housing, if you work an average of two days a week, so does my step son now in chiriqui, each of you could supply 50 dollars a month, the remaining I would absorb plus the utility bill. Advantages is that we could also pool in in the same proportion on food. Marisol would cook for all of us. We could become a FAMILY THAT EATS AND PRAYS TOGETHER AND STAYS TOGETHER IN DIFFICULT TURBALENT TIMES.
You may try option one, the 40 dollar place a couple of weeks then turn to option two or three if our relationship, economies and affinity permits us to perfect the relationship. Option one comes with a bed, option two and three involves buying you a bed. I am ready to tour you almost as soon as you arrive, share with you the wonders of this region, but all depends on how much rest and privacy you need when you arrive. The main thing is good vibs and communication between us, I do not want to impose anything but merely ask for a minimum of cooperation in effort to help ease the load on all of us after you take a couple weeks vacation. The ideal is for us to work to the degree we all want to, not enslave ourslelfs, yet sufficient to save money and survival tools and not lose our cohesiveness. All participate in a well defined survival plan in which each has had a say in the imput. Also each of us behave in such a way that would honor the group. Our extended survival family is also a large group of Americans i am networking with clear to the frontier to Costa Rica, some of them are millionaires, others are bringing down to Panama several hundred thousand dollars. In a future emergency they may place their hospitality at our disposition, Byllee already has. My current spouse and children already have stayed at her home while visiting the region. We are pledged to helping each other in difficult times. As a whole 70 percent of Americans down here call themselves EXPATRIOTS. At first I did not understand why, now I do....they saw many of the things you have been seeing and hearing and they bailed out in time, bought farms here and are preparing to survive off the land and savings in the times ahead.
The most importnt thing between you and me is to start a clean slate, the introduction of doubt into our relationship will kill it. I as a person move forward with faith and perserverance not with doubt and negativity. Negativity is always a YES/NO, it never produces anything. Had I listened to all the people who said I was a failure I would be demoralized, depressed and indeed a failure. I forgive you for trying to pin that on me but it was not only you but your mother and many other persons. I will not return that to you because I know you are now like a fish out of water with no real opportunity to succeed with the virtues you have. Here i see 4 easy ways for you to live, two I mentioned, bilingual tour guide, selling medicine, but the other two are also viable options...teaching english or better yet better paid teaching conversational spanish to the americans retiring here, the 4th possibility is as a NATURE PHOTOGRAPHER. There are unique things here to be photographed...sloths in trees with young, rare and colorful insects, butterflies and birds, strange colored river shrimp, crawfish...striped like a tiger and blue ones, ideal to be raised in captivity and sold for aquereums. Maybe you can dable in all four as to avoid bordom. From here you can travel and experience other parts of Panama, central America and the World. Panama has the largest merchant marine fleet in the world. I can still be a good father if you allow it. Together we can try every day to improve our relationship, to dwell on the negative of the past is unproductive, we are all here in a learning and growing experience, we can grow together for as long as you wish.
God willing will send you the 150 next tuesday, its intended for your pass port! With 150 dollars I could buy here 1,500 4 ounce bottles that eventually would produce at 5 dollars each 7,500 dollars. This will give you an idea what i am sacraficing when the growth capital is most needed, but your my son and PRICELES! Make the appropriate use of the money! Get me more exact information on the cost of traveling here. Your mother may be saying that I love you all of a sudden. No Victor, its not that at all, its simply a matter of economic feasibility...how could I send you when I did not have any but bad health? And that is not over yet but have faith and hope in God that I can heal my tumors and raise my 7 and 9 year old boys until they are old enough to take care of themselves.
You can overcome ANYTHING. God is in you and powerful, reach out to him and he will reach out to you, he has for me and he can for you as well. We don´t have to move into a church and be a holy roller or a fanatic just recognize that he exists and have faith in him and miracles will continue to happen in our lives. Your Dad Franklin
Keep what your doing confidential, don´t let your anxiety betray you.
From: rightprotect@hotmail.com
To: botanicogruber@hotmail.com
Subject: RE: Passport
Date: Thu, 25 Mar 2010 10:51:41 -0500
Franklin,
I am not blaming you for my mother tripping over the dog, that was just a thing that made the morning a lot more tense and added to my depression. She was already aware of my desire to go to Panama. You're just being defensive.
After traveling around free as a bird for many years I have absolutely no faith in the evil system that is America. Granted, marijuana played a major role in my happiness. It too is part of nature and opened my mind to our potential(or so I thought) freedom.
Everyone thinks it's a bad idea for me to go to Panama, including Diana. I don't mirror their opinion. I want to get out of here as soon as possible. If I had the money I would already be there. My love for San Antonio is long gone. They only think it's a bad idea because they're still under the delusion of our sick society. I don't think I belong here at all. The ship is sinking and people just don't care.
I am still very insecure in my potential though. It's amazing how weak one can feel after having no faith in himself. For all these years I was convinced that I was on the right track. Many people told me I was and I was being reaffirmed daily, unless they were just patronizing me. Probably because I was putting on such a good act.
I still feel like I was telling no lies. I still believe it is human nature to be generous and that money is a big trick and one of the many ways the few control the many. I also still feel marijuana would benefit and pacify the planet and not just from smoking it. Hemp can be used for many things we rely on exhaustible resources for. Freedom is what people truly want. Not the elite though. They just want control.
Then I started itching, traveled back to San Antonio to deal with it, got arrested for exercising my freedoms, stopped smoking weed, learned a little more how the new world order is advancing, the depression came on, I deactivated my website and my mission died.
It's very frustrating being in modern society and not stoned. I don't leave the house much anymore, even to walk. Ada got me a membership at the local gym, which my 13 year old nephew goes to also but I have only gone once and just used the treadmill. I should be going every day, but I don't. My nephew Charlie frustrates me too. Laura dumped him on Ada so she can raise her new daughter. He's had it rough growing up with Laura, but that's no excuse for how he talks back and disrespects my mother. I'm sure he thinks I'm a loser uncle being 32 and living at my mother's. I feel like a loser uncle now that I'm not doing anything. He's in good shape from working out at the gym so much and has a inflated ego. I hate it because he actually tries to give me advice. He's as brainwashed as the rest of them.
I've been told I should go to Narcotics Anoynmous meetings. Are you familiar with them? Do you think they could actually help me?
Best wishes,
- Victor Antonio
From: botanicogruber@hotmail.com
To: rightprotect@hotmail.com
Subject: Passport
Date: Thu, 25 Mar 2010 09:24:29 -0500
Victor, your concern for your moher is genuine. Unfortunately you startled her with the news of your desire to come to Panama starting the day. A more diplomatic approach after breakfast probably would have worked better. When we feel oppressed by life circumstances we all tend to become more impulsive. The tendency is to blame other people for our actions. You tell me your suicidal, your not happy in San Antonio, I open the opportunity for you to come and now because I did I am to blame for what happened to your mother? We are collectively to blame given our past inabilities to understand each other. I pray to God that your mother receive the strength to overcome her trauma of our past bad relationship and open up a positive communication with me for your sake. Blaming each other is NOT SOLVING PROBLEMS that concern us all.
Within 15 days I should have the money together to send to you to obtain your pass port. Even if you do not decide to travel to Panama in the near future its important that you have it to bail out of a society that is making you sick. Why? Because the society is sick! Do you really think that those professionals that drug you up to control you take any responsabilit for the dead people they assasinate with their drugs? There are thousands of patients the world over that learned to heal themselves with faith in God and his divine herbs. Its your decision, the man made system or God´s healing plants. Your dad came out of that system sick, managed to heal his soul, improved the health of his body also, and is now even if late in life on his way to economic success. In the rat race up there all I managed to do, given limited resources, was to wear myself out.
I remember the days when I would go do a job interview. There may have been only 30 dollars in the house and about ten would go for gas just to take the highway that circles San Antonio...wait half a day to be intervewed along with 200 other competitors to then wait three months to see if I would be hired. Our parents woud send us money but they got tired. Finally your grandparents told Ada we cannot send you more money while you have a man next to you, that was what caused Ada to seek a separation. When I went with her to the appointment she had made with the catholic church counselor, no attempt to reconciliate us was made. I was simply told by the counselor that a separation was the best thing for our family. I received that as an insult and told Ada that she was saying she no longer loved me and then proceeded with the separation of body and divorce. Now you do not have any children but your stuck in the same cold hearted system I was stuck in. To be independant and be my own boss in that system would be too expensive, 50,000 or more, now days probably arround 150,000. Do you have that kind of money, the alternative is to become a slave of the system, work your way up in 30 years then promote it as a haven then a few years later die all worn out. My dad who went through the system was hump back by age 60, died at age 62. I still have my back straight and with my knowledge of herbs and fresh air and water and more organic food still have a chance to be arround to lead you and my other children to a better life closer to nature and GOD! I did not allow myself to be brainwashed by the system but heavily to get out of it. Now the system has come down here too but I am a step ahead and working more the informal channels of communication and economy, those are the survival relationships that will prevail when modern civilization collapses, who you can count as a friend to exchange resources, there will not be any money or electricity. Without love those in the cities will be eating each other. To see this in time and to act is wisdom, the signs of social curruption are all arround. Whole civilizations have fallen in the past and why should ours be an exception? So I am preparing for the worst case scenario but working also for the eventuality that I may be wrong, one foot in modern society one foot outside and can jump either way depending on how things evolve. Most people who believe blindly in the system will be trapped and further enslaved by it. Poverty and famine will be the vehicle for the state to take more and more control of your lives. A monkey in the jungles has more peace now days than the average American. Why? At least he knows how to live in his jungle, what to eat, how to escape from the jaguar but with time and age he too will fall victim to his system. The monkey that is genetically endowed with more speed, agility and wisdom will survive longer, he may even become a leader of monkeys. The important thing is not how long he will live but rather how happy he is in his jungle, being happy though may help him lead a longer life and make a contribution to monkey society. How much differrent is man now from monkeys? Had I not left that system Victor, I could not provide an alternative now. So your mom did her half and appropriate for the times since a US education does have more value than that you wouldhave obtained in schools cloned on the US system here, now I offer my experience in survival in this system. Yet no one is forcing you or pressuring you to come here, the world is big and you may find your nitch elsewhere, Panama may just serve as an international station, half way house, to the place that may be optimum for you. Have you ever asked yourself how rats know to leave a sinking ship? Rats are supposed to be stupid.
Well, what ever you decide I respect, just know you have a father here that will receive you and help you to the limit of his ability. God Bless You Victor and guide you to your happiness in this world and ever after. Franklin
From: rightprotect@hotmail.com
To: botanicogruber@hotmail.com
Subject: RE: RESPONSO DE SAN ANTONIO Y TEMAS AFINES...
Date: Tue, 23 Mar 2010 22:04:15 -0500
Franklin,
Are you not an old man? How old are you anyway? This morning I woke up when Ada was leaving for work. I went to her room and told her I wanted to go to Panama and what it would cost. She's against it and immediately told me she didn't have the money for the plane ticket or the passport. I told her how I needed to change my environment and I felt like I didn't belong in the city.
I lay back down to go back to sleep and all of a sudden I heard her scream. I was terrified. She tripped on the dog and had fallen down on the tile floor. She was bruised pretty badly. Very shaken, she still left for work. I'll worry about her a lot if I leave. Especially with the questionable future ahead.
Are you sure you want me to come? Now that I'm not smoking marijuana anymore I feel like I know nothing and have wasted the past seven years on a delusion. Since I haven't been walking I don't even have the good health I used to. Not to mention I'm still addicted to cigarettes.
My unskillfulness is really why I've been depressed. I'm 32 and living at my mother's. You are right, I never learned the meaning of work. Life was a breeze for me when I was free. I thought I was doing a job by my persistent documenting, but it was never really that detailed. I feel like a total loser now. I don't have much to offer the world anymore. I am not disciplined enough to go to school. I always thought school was slave-training, anyway. I'm not even sure I can learn new things with my head injuries and any memory deficits smoking nonstop for years and years has brought.
Flying to Panama seems like a fanciful escape, but I'm a manic depressive wreck. Actually, just depressed. I know staying in San Antonio isn't going to help me get any better either and I am very tempted to come to your fertile valley. In fact, that's been the only interest I've had in a long time since I became depressed. You've presenteed me with a tiny morsel of hope in bettering my situation and I hope it isn't false-hope. I hate being surrounded by all this Babylon, but how can I be sure Panama won't be any less stressful for me or me being there stressful for you? I am sure I'll be a lot more comfortable in nature.
I know I said I've forgiven you, but I still can't forget your abandonment of us and the hell you put Ada through. How can I know for sure you have changed? Just thought I'd let you know what I'm thinking.
Best Wishes,
- Victor Antonio
From: botanicogruber@hotmail.com
To: rightprotect@hotmail.com
Subject: RE: RESPONSO DE SAN ANTONIO Y TEMAS AFINES...
Date: Tue, 23 Mar 2010 09:36:47 -0500
Thanks for the compliment of calling me old man!
I was supposed to go on a long hike with an old man this morning. He is preparing for me a secret that few know about, a wisle that calls ALL ANIMALS. Sounds crazy but through conversation with old hunters in other areas of Panama realized that it did exist. In these mountain islands there is some incredible stuff to be discovered plus plenty of peace and tranquility.
Your problem in America is that your a thinker, philosopher and analyser, not taking anything for granted. The tendency there is to standardize everything for the benefit of a few, people included. In this part of the world, close to nature their is much Uniqueness to be discovered. I knew spontaneously that my soul would not be happy in the so called modern civilization the US has become. I needed more love and Uniqueness in my life. But Panama city and bigger towns where also becoming a reflection of materialistic Western Civilization so I escaped to the mountains. In the mountains I healed myself, found my peace with my maker.
Maybe not tell your mom that you want to live here, just simply that you need the change and environment and would like to visit Panama for a couple of months then make up your mind if you want to return or do something else.
If you like conversing with World Travelors of all kinds, backpackers, etc this is the place to meet them. Like all places it has its good aspects and bad, nevertheless, over all for spiritually oriented people I believe this is the Oasis in the mountains.
I have a knew and revolutionary product come out of the heart and soul of the uniqueness of these mountains GRUBER'S WRINKLE CREAM. Its beginning to sell like hot cakes at 35 dollars an ounce! If I just sell 4 a day nation wide with distributors, at a cost of 25 dollars, well that is 100 dollars a day or 3,000 a month. This stuff is green gold, maybe I and my family including you can enjoy the fruits of labor and mountain peace after all, possibly a happy ending to our odessy! Will forward a testimony from Byllee Burgess, she is 67 and all her wrinkles have disappeared, after that she decided to become a distributor and is doing quite well.
I will be working on the economics of getting you here at this end, work on at least getting the pass port on that end. Remember where there is a will there is a way, let s shoot for a 60 day dead line to get you here!
Forward Byllees Testimonial to your mom, here it went out to 2,000 Americans living in Panama. The Old Man, Frank
From: rightprotect@hotmail.com
To: botanicogruber@hotmail.com
Subject: RE: RESPONSO DE SAN ANTONIO Y TEMAS AFINES...
Date: Tue, 23 Mar 2010 01:57:08 -0500
Franklin,
The price for a passport is $135. Used to be a hundred bucks but they went up recently. I've spent a while researching airfares too. A one-way ticket from SAT to PTN(Tecumen) is $400-$500. It would be cheaper and less complicated if I were to hitchhike to Houston and catch the plane there(IAH). If I were to book a flight that didn't go to Miami first I could be in Panama City in four hours.
I've been thinking lately and you are right. I drastically need to change my environment. I hate living in society here in San Antonio and would love to be someplace more natural. I haven't been walking that much lately because I get really uncomfortable outside hearing cars zooming by. It's a constant reminder of how we live in a world where wrong has right-of-way. It really distresses me.
I would feel bad for ditching Ada here. She would worry so much and appreciates the help I give her at her house, but alas, she is brainwashed and does not understand where I come from and only tries to mother me. She wants to help me and believes I wouldn't be wasting my time seeing a psychiatrist. I disagree and think psychiatry is evil and is a big gear of the money machine that dehumanizes people. I think the drugs they get you hooked on damage the soul.
I am in the process of applying for disability for my head injuries but I don't think I'm going to wait around for that. I am very doubtful I will get approved and even if I had a check every month and not have to work here I would just be bored and not do anything. I'll talk to Ada tomorrow and let her know what I am contemplating. She's already frustrated with me with my up-and-downs and will plead for me not to go.
I figure if I'm ready to kill myself here, what do I have to lose by leaving San Antonio and starting over in a more natural place? My Spanish is a little rusty and I hope it comes back.
I'll see if Ada is willing to help me with this venture, but I am doubtful. I don't know how else I could raise any money though. We don't have a lawnmower or anything and if Ada is going to buy one for me I would rather her fund my escape.
Well, I'm dead tired and need to go to sleep. Best wishes old man.
- Victor Antonio
From: botanicogruber@hotmail.com
To: rightprotect@hotmail.com
Subject: RE: RESPONSO DE SAN ANTONIO Y TEMAS AFINES...
Date: Mon, 22 Mar 2010 19:27:33 -0500
Investigate the exact cost of the plane ticket and obtaining a pass port and let me know, possibly I can contribute, maybe we can do it in three ways, you, your mom and me. I have to maintain a reserve of cash to keep things going businesswise at this end. If all comes to a hault then I will kick in the survival system, meanwhile the accumulation of money for tools, etc is important. Frank
From: rightprotect@hotmail.com
To: botanicogruber@hotmail.com
Subject: RE: RESPONSO DE SAN ANTONIO Y TEMAS AFINES...
Date: Sat, 20 Mar 2010 13:14:57 -0500
Franklin,
It is very tempting the accomodations you offer, but my mom isn't going to pay for my airfare. Ada wants to help me and probably wouldn't view sending me to you as much help if any. Isn't the plane ticket like a thousand dollars or so? Plus, I don't even have a passport.
I agreed to see a psychiatrist even though I have no trust in them or our evil system. If the drugs they put me on will kill me eventually, oh well, I was planning on dying anyway. I told Ada I would try it, just to evaluate it, but I am really doubtful. If with medication I feel better, than logic would have it that I would become dependent on their drugs and would have to wean myself off of them just as with any other drug.
Back in 2003 you told me I might be added to a world government "black list" and that I would be an enemy of society wherever I went. Don't you think it would raise some attention if I were to apply for a passport(a hundred bucks I don't have)and then flew to Panama? Big brother is most likely watching. What makes you think Panama is immune from the current global situation and I'd be safer there? What makes you think our emails haven't been read by agents already? They were, after all posted on my site for the world to read. But even these recent ones are available to people who know what they are doing. I can't trust anybody.
Also, the volcanic valley you live in will not likely remain inactive with all the earth changes taking place. Remember krakatoa? Ka-boom!
- Victor Antonio
From: botanicogruber@hotmail.com
To: rightprotect@hotmail.com
Subject: RE: RESPONSO DE SAN ANTONIO Y TEMAS AFINES...
Date: Thu, 18 Mar 2010 18:25:46 -0500
Victor, my apology in the delay in reading and responding to your last letter. I had recently moved back to EL Valle de Anton where I am updating my SURVIVAL TECHNOLOGIES. In your own way you have been out on the road, an observer of the fast line of the rat race...but mostly observing. That observing is of great value, it will bring you great wisdom with time. Failure in life is natural. No one fails or succeeds all the time, its from the ashes that fertilize trees that fruit can be beared. Everything is cyclical in nature. The meaning of your odessy will become clearer to you with time. American as a whole is depressed spiritually. Its still possible for you to step out and come this way. Once here you can exchange thoughts and ideas, get a new and differrent perspective in life. There are herbs here that work better than head shrinkers. While there is LIFE, there is HOPE!
If I had the money to send for you now I would. I do have some that I developed that will go for 35 dollars an ounce....a cosmetic that eliminates wrinkles and facial stains, leaves hands and face nice and soft. I am planning in the future to take an ocean line cruiser and sell my product to the 2,500 old people that are the ones usually fleeing the cold ion the winter. One needs something light with value to pay one´s way in the adventures throughout the world. I know you are not into selling....but you need a vehicle and something that almost sells its self.
I have rented a two room apartment for 40 dollars a month. If Ada will pay your way here I will turn it over to you. I live elsewhere with my wife and children but keep this room as a fall back position should the economy collapse. You could live there, one mile away from us, and eat your meals at our home. My time here in EL Valle is free now about 80 percent of the time, I am semi retired, don´t need much bacause here I know where to get everything dirt cheap. What is nice about El Valle, a community inside the mouth of an extinct volcano, is the energy, life giving energy, everything is close by, the bus makes a round inside the Valley that takes 15 minutes for .50 cents, we have four big supermarkets, plenty of organic food, excellent spring water, and the beaches are only 30 minutes away by car....miles and miles sof beaches with dozens of resort areas.
The easiest and simplest job here if you want some part time work is as a tour guide, bilingual people are extremely scarce and the hour of bilingual tour guide goes for 10 dollars. If you come my way for the first two months shall pay your rent and provide you food, thereafter if you want to stay will try and make it as easy as possible for you until you get new bearing and interest in life. Although I hate the city, due to the car fumes and dangers, I will meet you at the airport if you decie to come and visit with me. Remember, should you decide to stay, you have a right to Panamanian citizenship without losing your US citizenship as far as I know. Anyone with a Panamanian parent is entitled to Panamanina citizenship. I have dual nationality. I what you say is true about the 800 concentration camps, what are you waiting for to BAIL OUT OF THE US? Follow your intuition, the head shrinkers will put you on medication that will kill you eventually, it did my brother John, the lithium carbonate ate up his kidneys and died of dialysis. Get back in touch with nature and nature will make you free!
God Bless you and Ada and Sister, Franklin
From: rightprotect@hotmail.com
To: botanicogruber@hotmail.com
Subject: RE: RESPONSO DE SAN ANTONIO Y TEMAS AFINES...
Date: Fri, 12 Mar 2010 11:48:29 -0600
Hi Frank,
Things have been terrible for me lately. I have been so depressed and wanting to die. I stopped smoking weed. It seems that now when I smoke it really opens my mind up to all the problems with the world and I get real depressed. It's like my kryptonite. I have utterly lost all hope and have quit my mission. My life has lost all of its purpose and I have absolutely nothing now.
I truly believe a lot of people are going to die very soon as the new world order advances and I'll be one of them. I have been glued to Youtube watching new world order videos. Ada doesn't like this obsession of mine and would rather I ignore it like she does. It makes a lot of sense though. The term 'ignorance is bliss' really comes to mind because if I hadn't learned these things I might be able to keep playing along and get a job working for money. I think things are more wrong than ever now.
I have stopped documenting my life because I am no longer proud of it at all. I'm not walking anymore either and just wasting away at Ada's doing nothing. Recently, a friend I made in Florida two years ago named Echo invited me to attend a US Department of Peace conference in Austin. I said sure and rode the Greyhound up to Austin. I took all my traveling gear with me because I was supposed to fly to Florida and live with her there. I thought hey, my life sucks and I want peace so let me give this a shot. So I went. When I got out in the real world again I got scared and remembered why I had dropped out.
Echo and I were hosted at these student's house. They all smoked weed, like a lot of students these days do. I tried telling my story, and they were interested at first, but in the middle of it a lot said they had to go and I didn't get to finish. The next day, the day of the conference I changed my mind about attending and rode the Greyhound back to San Antonio. I let Echo and everyone else down. I don't trust the government at all and I know they don't really want peace. It's false hope they're giving people.
My court stuff was dismissed. I had some free legal help from a college here. We were going to have a jury trial and everything. The policeman never showed up so they just dismissed it without even hearing it. Being arrested was also a reminder of how we are slowly losing our rights. The police state is coming soon.
I feel like I should kill myself before they start rounding people up and sending them to concentration camps to be tortured and killed.
I've been going around telling the same exact story for seven years now and frankly I have gotten tired of telling it. I feel very ashamed walking around with my walking stick and world peace through marijuana shirt. I'm stupid to think that what I was doing was going to bring world peace. I thought if enough people knew the truth it could stop the new world order, but it seems to me now that resistence is futile. This Victor has failed. I have nothing to show for myself now. I even deactivated my website.
Also thanks to Youtube I've learned that the internet will be shut down soon. They're going to replace it with Internet 2, fiber optic based and supposedely ten thousand times faster, but censored and government controlled. No personal websites. No pirated software. Pirated software has been my big weapon against money. I feel if I go around telling my same story I'd be lying to people. A lot of these "conspiracy theories" make a lot of sense.
The government is building concentration camps all over the country, 800 of them so far. Google "FEMA Camps" and "depopulation plans." They're building all these detention camps all around the country along with mass graves and ovens all nazi-style. They want to depopulate 90% of humanity. The entire middle class and more.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BIbuRMVVekg&feature=related Here's a depopulation movie and also click on the suggested videos too.
Also Google "HAARP." It's how they control the weather and start earthquakes. I am convinced the government caused the Haiti and Chile ones also Hurricane Katrina back in New Orleans. 9-11 is another event that frightens me, just like they want it to. Things are going to get worse, not better.
I am going through some major marijuana withdrawal. Not too long ago when I went over to the only friends I had in the neighborhood they gave me a hit of weed and we were watching some scary movie where these two guys broke into a house and stabbed the parents and raped the little girl. Since I was all stoned I started dwelling on my pathetic situation and had an anxiety attack and collapsed on their floor. I felt like I was dying. I didn't lose consciousness or anything. I just leaned over and put my forehead on the carpet. This freaked out my friends and when I calmed down I walked home. I hadn't smoked for a couple of weeks and I attribued my attack to marijuana and my depression. I probably won't go over there ever again.
I have absolutely no friends now. I can't seem to find anything to do either. Nothing at all interests me. I feel like I've wasted my life away these past seven years. I don't know what's real now. The only reason I haven't killed myself is Ada.
To top off my fears, this guy knocked on the door a couple of days ago. He was wearing a white suit and said he was doing a background check on the neighbor boy next door for an internship. He asked me for my name and I gave it to him and asked me what I did for a living. I told him I was unemployed. Then I noticed the masonic symbol on his ring. It seems like he's recruiting my neighbor.
It's not that I think I have been wrong all these years, more like I am scared I have been right. Whenever I smoked marijuana it made me want peace and motivated me to walk. Now that I'm not smoking I just stay on the computer all day and smoke cigarettes in the backyard. The hardest thing about being a success is to keep being a success and I have stopped. I am just a failure now. I feel like nothing is worth fighting for it we're all just going to be killed soon. At least all of the middle class. I just feel like giving up now. I've lost hope.
Ada wants to take me to see a psychiatrist but I don't trust them either. They'll just want to medicate me. I don't trust anybody.
The fall of Victor
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