camu camu
victor gruber
Sat 4/2/2011 10:20 AM
The scientific name is Myrciaria dubia and it has the highest Vitamin C content of any known fruit, 50 times more than an orange.
http://www.buzzle.com/articles/camu-camu-berry.html
From: botanicofranklingruber@hotmail.com
To: rightprotect@hotmail.com
Subject: RE: FARMING!
Date: Thu, 31 Mar 2011 15:33:04 +0000
Do you have access to the scientific name of this plant? The actual name varies from region to region. I will check into it by that name but try and get me the scientific name. Frank
See my latests posts on Boquete.org, there are some dangers I am exposed to from the pharmaceutical companies and some local enemies....don{t know if you really want to be associated with me in my survival world....check it out....Panama is truly a survival game, if your on to anything that makes money you will attract attention and make enemies here. Frank
From: rightprotect@hotmail.com
To: botanicofranklingruber@hotmail.com
Subject: RE: FARMING!
Date: Tue, 29 Mar 2011 20:52:40 -0500
Do you know anything about Camu-camu? It's this Amazonian fruit that is supposedely the best source of vitam c and is really effective with herpes.
From: botanicofranklingruber@hotmail.com
To: rightprotect@hotmail.com
Subject: RE: FARMING!
Date: Tue, 29 Mar 2011 03:56:09 +0000
Victor, I don´t have a problem with you staying in the United States,however, it would be good for us to meet and spend some time together and you get a little involved in my survival activities. The exposure will increase your survival options, however, chances are high that both the US and Panama will be hard hit by 2012 related events. I think really that its a time to be compassionate and kind with you mother and sisters. Your not abandoning them for you have spent most of your life with them, merely coming to visit with me and take it from there. It can get boring here to if your not interested in growing with new experiences. Come with an open mind and try to make the most of it.
It is important, vary important for you to communicate with the lawyer ARIEL SUCRE, even if just to say hello. Any difficulty you or we have here he is a KEY PERSON! Once you arrive and if you let too much time go by your tourist status will expire then it becomes much more expensive to continue to stay paying fines for overstaying, whereas if we get the ball rolling in your application for Panamanian Citizenship even if you finally do not go through with it, it gives you a status as the son of a Panamanian and can justify your stay behond the maximum allowed for tourists without paying fines. Write him! Never leave for tomorrow what we can do today and do what we can NOW! That way we don´t get one or more steps behind and we move forward faster.
The main key is PRAYER! Try to connect up with the intelligence that made the BILLIONS OF STARS! It can guide you, if you ignore it, feeling that your independant of it and all other life, then it leaves you alone in your ignorance to receive the consequences of your doubt. I don´t know¨¨, won´t solve anything...begin searching for wisdom and knowledge, ask for it. LIFE IS NOT A GAME ITS SERIOUS BUSINESS BUT WE CAN LAUGH AT IT NOW AND THEN! If I did not care about you I would not venture to point out the NECESSITY OF A RELATIONSHIP WITH OUR CREATOR. To acknowledge him one does not have to be religious, only SPIRITUAL.....the real beings that we are. Franklin
From: rightprotect@hotmail.com
To: botanicofranklingruber@hotmail.com
Subject: RE: FARMING!
Date: Mon, 28 Mar 2011 21:50:04 -0500
Frank,
I'm still stagnating here at Ada's. I had to spend some money buying a prescription today, like twenty dollars. My account should still be like six hundred and then I'll get 449 more at the end of the month in a couple of days. That should leave me with around a thousand dollars. A round trip ticket is around five hundred. I am honest and hard-working, just a little dumb nowadays. I will try my hardest selling your products, but I have some memory problems, so I'll need to do some homework. Frank, Ada does not have any surplus money to spare for a laptop for me, even though I just waste my time on the internet these days stuck on all this new world order stuff..and playing internet pool. I already have a digital camera, one was given to my in California a couple of years ago and it still works just fine. At first I will treat my arrival as a visit, good thing I'll have a round trip ticket. Ahh, not that good because I hate my life here in San Antonio. It's going to be rough at first, I can barely think through my thoughts in English, let alone Spanish. I've got a sleeping pad so I won't necessarily need a cot(Unless there's a danger of vipers biting me at night). As far as my "girlfriend" in Florida goes, I got frustrated here a couple of nights ago because my nephew treats Ada like a chauffer and expects a lot from her. I told her I was leaving and not coming back and I called my friend in Florida, told her I was considering going over there and working day labor. I've changed my mind. She just wants me to pay her bills so she doesn't have to work. To top it off she trusts highly in our government and even likes George Bush! and has respect for every president(puppet), just because they're president. So I don't see a future with me and her. I did make a friend on Craiglist, but it won't be more than a friend with benefits. She doesn't want a relationship either. I have much difficulty in deciding on what to do these days. I do have some appointments with this vocational training thing, because of my head injuries. Maybe they can help me get a job here and I'll work it for a couple of pay periods for extra cash for my trip to Panama. If life is unbearable for me in Panama, I'm not sure what other options I will have. But soon I'll be able to buy the plane ticket.
Victor
From: botanicofranklingruber@hotmail.com
To: rightprotect@hotmail.com
Subject: RE: FARMING!
Date: Mon, 28 Mar 2011 22:21:20 +0000
Dear Victor, I am writing you from my own lap top now connected to wireless service so I have access to internet anywhere in Panama.
The deal to manage the small farm was closed and we are moving there this next Wednesday. I asked the owner if you could join me on the farm. He asked me if you where honest and hard working and I answered YES! So its now up to you not to let me down. In the first weeks there will really not be much work to do since work will be basically eating fruit and vegetable to obtain seed, dry them in the sun and plant them. You will be in training in the sales of my products and probably average 50 dollars one day a week for 4 hours work.
You shall sleep in the living room area of the one bed room home. A cot will be made available until we can obtain a bed for you. While in training you will work your way up.....really more than 3 hours work is not expected from you daily but it should be well done when you do itI
I have a collection of interesting books, one by Readers Digest on all the unexplained phenomena, scientific and ordinary and extraordinary. Books on herbalism if your interested in studying them.
As a parting gift as Ada and sisters to donate to you a laptop, here they are almost twice as expensive and a camera and cell phone maybe with a good camera. You shall have vary limited access to my laptop as its going to be a primary tool for several business endeavors I am working on.
You have not written recently, probably a tug of war between your girl friend and the idea of coming here. Well, maybe you can visit her for a few days before coming here or if you return on the way back or maybe she can come and live with you in Panama at a later date.
The 2012 stuff I hear is supposed to intensify there and here so its just a matter of joining somewhere a survival team, now one has any garantees in being the last to survive.
If your going to be on my team which would be your team communications is essential, write me and let me know what is going on. Write the lawyer Ariel Sucre, say hello, he is the key for your permanent stay in Panama. Franklin
From: rightprotect@hotmail.com
To: botanicofranklingruber@hotmail.com
Subject: RE: FARMING!
Date: Thu, 24 Mar 2011 02:18:42 -0500
Hmm, enticing,
I have just about had it with life here at Ada's. She let's my stupid nephew(which Laura dumped on her) walk all over her. He has never known any discipline and treats Ada like crap and takes so much advantage of her. When I point it out she gets mad at me saying that I'm implying that she lets him walk all over her, which she does! Truth hurts! He stresses her out so much and he doesn't care. He's real good at sports and goes to the gym a lot so he's got a huge ego. I hate the fact that Laura can't control him and burdened my stressed out mother with his condescending ass. I swear, he's going to end up killing her. Anyway, I told Ada I was fed up and was going to leave and never come back.
I called my only friend Echo, who's hurt from being in a car accident when I visited her and was pretty upset that I left her alone there. Well, not alone, she has plenty of friends there, just doesn't like them. She wants me to come live with her again and get a job so she doesn't have to work since she's hurt. At first I was liike screw that, she'd just be using me to pay her bills. She's got a twenty thousand dollar settlement coming up in about nine months from her accident and she wants to buy a house in Kentucky. I had left before because she has all these issues and really stinks of ulterior motives. But today I was so exasperated here at home that I called her and told her I might come back. She says they'll hire me at the day labor place, they'd hire anybody. And with my 440 a month I could pay her bills. Argh, but Florida is way crowded and I'd have to depend on her to drive me around. But, I still feel like she'd be using me, she says I'd be saving her. She's real cute and doesn't mind me having herpes and says she loves me. I did miss her a lot and felt real guilty when I left. Another plane ticket to Florida would be like two hundred bucks(one way), and then she would appropriate my remaining money I'm sure. I looked on craigslist earlier and saw an ad for someone who's driving to Tampa and needs help with gas, which would only cost me about eighty bucks. Right now i have six hundred and will have a thousand at the end of the month.
And then I checked your email and saw about the farming gig. Hmm, cute crazy girl in Florida who wants to marry me and is in total denial of all this 2012 stuff, who smokes cigarettes....or organic food with my father in Panama. Decisions, decisions. Do you have any farming experience? I don't, really. I mean I've milked a cow before. Tell me more about this farm. Exactly what will we be growing? Is the irrigation set up? Argh, this girl in Florida is enticing because she would be easy for me. Sorry for the noncommunication lately, I'm stuck on stupid.
Maybe I could take that ride to Florida, help her for a couple of months, and then save up again for a ticket to Panama....ugh, I'm just not sure about anything. I would still get my pension in Florida, but that would go to paying rent there and such. Hmm, housing and company car, too? Umm, I'm a bit confused. I feel so dumb. How sure is this farming proposal? What would my days be like? Will he provide the seeds, etc? Will there be other workers besides you and me? Would Marisol and your kids be living there as well? Would you move out there yourself or still keep your house in Boquete? Just fill me in. This ride to Florida leaves on the 26th or 27th.
Oh yeah, also I have a meeting in a couple of days with the Texas Department of Rehabilitative Services. Some vocational training thing that will help my head injured ass get a job here. I hate it here though, so I don't know if I'm going to go. I would still have to be here at Ada's with my annoying punk nephew. I also want to look into getting a vasectomy before I leave. I wonder if Medicare would cover it.
Sincerely,
- Victor
From: botanicofranklingruber@hotmail.com
To: rightprotect@hotmail.com
Subject: FARMING!
Date: Wed, 23 Mar 2011 14:55:25 +0000
Victor, some new developments in this area. A retired American here wants me to manage his farm...generate croups and go 50/50 on their sales, he provides housing, a company car, etc. We are considering this, this will take us about 30 miles away from Boquete but still come in to sell my products at the tuesday BCP meeting. Would you like to help me do some farming and enjoy eating your our own organic produce?
If you still plan to come this way, you should notify me at least a week in advance of your arrival date as life here is precarious and don´t want to leave anything up in the air at the time you arrive so I can be better organized to receive you. My business may zoom up or it may zoom down, the following weeks shall determine that as the tourist off season begins to set in
Best to you and Ada and Sisters. Frank
From: rightprotect@hotmail.com
To: botanicofranklingruber@hotmail.com
Subject: RE: The Valuable Things of Life!
Date: Mon, 21 Mar 2011 08:07:08 -0500
Hi Frank,
I feel like my whole "scabies" episode was a curse. I never had scabies. Thinking I had scabies was a total mindfuck though. That, and finding out more about how screwed up the world is which totally negated my past efforts and has made me sure I am on our satanic government's bad side, along with every Christian out there(www.satansgovernment.com). The US is headed for a totalitarian future. We are about to lose all of our pseudo-freedoms. Bye bye constitution. I believe they are using the internet and it's "freedom" to leak themselves out because their plan is finally coming to fruition. The wars and deception just don't stop.
Yesterday I sold my mountain bike on craiglist for $300. That puts my account at about $600. Next month I will have a little over a thousand. I'm not sure how much I would need to travel to Panama. I don't watch TV at all. It's all part of the media programming that I refuse to go along with. Sadly, even the internet is. Sorry so short, can't seem to think of anything else to say. I want to leave Ada's so badly, I just have nowhere else to go. Even if I came to Panama, I'm wondering if things would be any better for me. People in Panama are still brainwashed with money and you have a whole other family to support. I have been running and working out lately too. Is there a gym in Boquete?
From: botanicofranklingruber@hotmail.com
To: rightprotect@hotmail.com
Subject: The Valuable Things of Life!
Date: Sun, 20 Mar 2011 00:17:45 +0000
Hello Victor, you said everything is dainted with profit and wrong. There is still room in this world to find a place where you can exchange goods for service, without seeking profit, from where your at it may be impossible yet if you search you shall find that place. I think that your diary is a vary valuable document that will give you review to examin yourself for your personal growth so you can be all the good you can be, to make a differrence. There was a young boy whose name was Auduban, he lived in a time when every body was shooting at birds, well he taught much of the world to love and respect and leave birds free....in his honer the Audobon Society was later born, his purpose became realized!
You seem to be convinced that you are worthless because you cannot continue in your ego trip, and now that its gone your worthless.....could not be furthest from the truth, as a young adult now you have experience to review and define your life and goal better.
How is it that you where in a better state of mind when you arrived with scabies at your mothers house? Now you have the confort, hot water too, good food....all the tv and computer time....a pension check and your more unhappy than when you where on the streets, yes even the time to get your head together and instead of doing so you want to kill yourself. There are mexicans out there risking their lives to cross the order for a chance at what you are taking for granted....No doubt for a while you felt relief to have a home to come back to, now your bored to death. Maybe what you need is something to challenge your intelligence and wits in life. Quite frankly I never liked San Antonio as a place to live and to some degree understand you.
Your concerned about the world going to hell, well people don't wait for the world to end to expire, they do it naturlly or by accident all the time, for centuries. What counts is how happy you can make yourself every day of your existence. There are places where you can obtain National Geographic Magazines, past issues for .50 cents. Try and find some and travel the world vicariously until you come upon a spot, could be in the US as well that gives you satisfaction, rethink all the places you have been, whch did you like the most? Frank
From: rightprotect@hotmail.com
To: botanicofranklingruber@hotmail.com
Subject: RE: The Valuable Things of Life!
Date: Sat, 19 Mar 2011 16:12:30 -0500
I've come to realize that maybe in my adventures I was just seeking validation for a purpose I thought I had. I use to say my mission was the world's healthiest ego trip. I thought living a book(documenting every detail of my life on a tape recorder and typing them up) was the same thing as writing a book. After being so high on myself for so long, then realizing all my "work" was in vain, that's like a fatal blow to me. I did learn some things in my travels. I learned that it truly is human nature to be good and I confirmed my hunch that humanity was on its way to doom. I used to find happiness in things, but no longer. I can't find value in anything, because everything is tainted with profit motives and wrong. I feel like, what's the point to anything. Maybe if I would've slaved away like everybody else my whole life and remained ignorant to the truth I uncovered traveling around homeless, maybe if I would've climbed the ladder high and ended up a millionaire, maybe I wouldn't be so certain that I wasn't going to die soon. I just broke it off with my friend from Florida. I thought I should be relieved but I am a little in angst. Now I truly have no friends. I deactivated my facebook too. Farewell, Frank. I'm leaving.
From: botanicofranklingruber@hotmail.com
To: rightprotect@hotmail.com
Subject: The Valuable Things of Life!
Date: Sat, 19 Mar 2011 15:16:18 +0000
Victor, our goals are set from what we VALUE IN LIFE!
Surely in all your adventures you have found VALUE in some person, some idea, some object...you have found some things, ideas or people you LIKE! There may have been some visual scenes you liked and wish you had a camera at the moment for freezing time.
Recently some one sent me an email of a hunter who had just taken an automatic picture of himself with one foot on the deer in the wilderness, looking so proud of his kill holding the rifle in his hand. When the photograph was processed he noticed that the sudden flash had saved his life. Behind him about to grab his ass was this huge MOUNTAIN LION!
You spend a lot of time in internet.....think about the idea of searching for UNIQUE INTERESTING FREE PHOTOGRAPHS that can be placed in simple inexpensive frames. Your collection could then travel the World with you exhibiting it where ever you go, bazaars, fairs, parks, etc. They could be so fascinating they would become a means to meet interesting people. Also since you are against money, any one who wanted to buy you simply would deny that but state that you might trade for something you need then hand them a list of things your willing to trade for. You would be promoting the idea....THE HELL WITH MONEY wherever you went! Isn´t that one of the things that piss you off about this civilization, ....many of the pictures could portray the new vision of a world you believe in. Your conversations with people would be as seeds that some one else will water and a money less world could eventually evolve. Each community would have a trading center.
The marijuana to peace idea. Marijuana was not the goal, it was the vehicle to arrive at promoting the ideal, the goal of PEACE! Why abondon your goal, PEACE IN THE WORLD is probably the most noble goal anyone could have. Just change vehicles...photographs or any other useful means of communicating the IDEA. A great wise man once said that it was better to light one candle than to curse the darkness. Ligh your candle again Victor, believe in yourself and your mission of promoting PEACE. There are millions of people out there that will hear you.
Promoting Peace is the most useful way of lovin ourselves and God.
In our struggles in life we all fall, faulter, its human nature. When we fall we should muster the courage to get back up each time we fall. Eventually sooner or later we stand strong and move forward elegantly to achieve our goals. The two qualities we need to get back on our feet is FAITH, BIG FAITH in our mission and PATIENCE!
You are a young man who just went through the first half of his life gaining experience. Now you can better meditate on that experience to fine tune your goal and reach it.
I pray that you find a female partner that does not want to have children as I imagine you don´t. There is one out there that is your soul mate. Pray to God that she be placed in your path while you are promoting peace, on a Godly Mission.
The distance that separates us makes us live like in two dimensions, like if I where dead and my spirit managed to use internet to get this last message to you....that you LIVE and be happy even if many arround you are unhappy. Teach yourself to be happy in any circumstance so you may teach others to be happy anywhere as well. The peace is within no without, its the distractions outside that draw our attention away from our peace. Once its strong inside we can share it with others outside. God Bless and Keep you Victor, Your Dad Franklin
http://www.buzzle.com/articles/camu-camu-berry.html
From: botanicofranklingruber@hotmail.com
To: rightprotect@hotmail.com
Subject: RE: FARMING!
Date: Thu, 31 Mar 2011 15:33:04 +0000
Do you have access to the scientific name of this plant? The actual name varies from region to region. I will check into it by that name but try and get me the scientific name. Frank
See my latests posts on Boquete.org, there are some dangers I am exposed to from the pharmaceutical companies and some local enemies....don{t know if you really want to be associated with me in my survival world....check it out....Panama is truly a survival game, if your on to anything that makes money you will attract attention and make enemies here. Frank
From: rightprotect@hotmail.com
To: botanicofranklingruber@hotmail.com
Subject: RE: FARMING!
Date: Tue, 29 Mar 2011 20:52:40 -0500
Do you know anything about Camu-camu? It's this Amazonian fruit that is supposedely the best source of vitam c and is really effective with herpes.
From: botanicofranklingruber@hotmail.com
To: rightprotect@hotmail.com
Subject: RE: FARMING!
Date: Tue, 29 Mar 2011 03:56:09 +0000
Victor, I don´t have a problem with you staying in the United States,however, it would be good for us to meet and spend some time together and you get a little involved in my survival activities. The exposure will increase your survival options, however, chances are high that both the US and Panama will be hard hit by 2012 related events. I think really that its a time to be compassionate and kind with you mother and sisters. Your not abandoning them for you have spent most of your life with them, merely coming to visit with me and take it from there. It can get boring here to if your not interested in growing with new experiences. Come with an open mind and try to make the most of it.
It is important, vary important for you to communicate with the lawyer ARIEL SUCRE, even if just to say hello. Any difficulty you or we have here he is a KEY PERSON! Once you arrive and if you let too much time go by your tourist status will expire then it becomes much more expensive to continue to stay paying fines for overstaying, whereas if we get the ball rolling in your application for Panamanian Citizenship even if you finally do not go through with it, it gives you a status as the son of a Panamanian and can justify your stay behond the maximum allowed for tourists without paying fines. Write him! Never leave for tomorrow what we can do today and do what we can NOW! That way we don´t get one or more steps behind and we move forward faster.
The main key is PRAYER! Try to connect up with the intelligence that made the BILLIONS OF STARS! It can guide you, if you ignore it, feeling that your independant of it and all other life, then it leaves you alone in your ignorance to receive the consequences of your doubt. I don´t know¨¨, won´t solve anything...begin searching for wisdom and knowledge, ask for it. LIFE IS NOT A GAME ITS SERIOUS BUSINESS BUT WE CAN LAUGH AT IT NOW AND THEN! If I did not care about you I would not venture to point out the NECESSITY OF A RELATIONSHIP WITH OUR CREATOR. To acknowledge him one does not have to be religious, only SPIRITUAL.....the real beings that we are. Franklin
From: rightprotect@hotmail.com
To: botanicofranklingruber@hotmail.com
Subject: RE: FARMING!
Date: Mon, 28 Mar 2011 21:50:04 -0500
Frank,
I'm still stagnating here at Ada's. I had to spend some money buying a prescription today, like twenty dollars. My account should still be like six hundred and then I'll get 449 more at the end of the month in a couple of days. That should leave me with around a thousand dollars. A round trip ticket is around five hundred. I am honest and hard-working, just a little dumb nowadays. I will try my hardest selling your products, but I have some memory problems, so I'll need to do some homework. Frank, Ada does not have any surplus money to spare for a laptop for me, even though I just waste my time on the internet these days stuck on all this new world order stuff..and playing internet pool. I already have a digital camera, one was given to my in California a couple of years ago and it still works just fine. At first I will treat my arrival as a visit, good thing I'll have a round trip ticket. Ahh, not that good because I hate my life here in San Antonio. It's going to be rough at first, I can barely think through my thoughts in English, let alone Spanish. I've got a sleeping pad so I won't necessarily need a cot(Unless there's a danger of vipers biting me at night). As far as my "girlfriend" in Florida goes, I got frustrated here a couple of nights ago because my nephew treats Ada like a chauffer and expects a lot from her. I told her I was leaving and not coming back and I called my friend in Florida, told her I was considering going over there and working day labor. I've changed my mind. She just wants me to pay her bills so she doesn't have to work. To top it off she trusts highly in our government and even likes George Bush! and has respect for every president(puppet), just because they're president. So I don't see a future with me and her. I did make a friend on Craiglist, but it won't be more than a friend with benefits. She doesn't want a relationship either. I have much difficulty in deciding on what to do these days. I do have some appointments with this vocational training thing, because of my head injuries. Maybe they can help me get a job here and I'll work it for a couple of pay periods for extra cash for my trip to Panama. If life is unbearable for me in Panama, I'm not sure what other options I will have. But soon I'll be able to buy the plane ticket.
Victor
From: botanicofranklingruber@hotmail.com
To: rightprotect@hotmail.com
Subject: RE: FARMING!
Date: Mon, 28 Mar 2011 22:21:20 +0000
Dear Victor, I am writing you from my own lap top now connected to wireless service so I have access to internet anywhere in Panama.
The deal to manage the small farm was closed and we are moving there this next Wednesday. I asked the owner if you could join me on the farm. He asked me if you where honest and hard working and I answered YES! So its now up to you not to let me down. In the first weeks there will really not be much work to do since work will be basically eating fruit and vegetable to obtain seed, dry them in the sun and plant them. You will be in training in the sales of my products and probably average 50 dollars one day a week for 4 hours work.
You shall sleep in the living room area of the one bed room home. A cot will be made available until we can obtain a bed for you. While in training you will work your way up.....really more than 3 hours work is not expected from you daily but it should be well done when you do itI
I have a collection of interesting books, one by Readers Digest on all the unexplained phenomena, scientific and ordinary and extraordinary. Books on herbalism if your interested in studying them.
As a parting gift as Ada and sisters to donate to you a laptop, here they are almost twice as expensive and a camera and cell phone maybe with a good camera. You shall have vary limited access to my laptop as its going to be a primary tool for several business endeavors I am working on.
You have not written recently, probably a tug of war between your girl friend and the idea of coming here. Well, maybe you can visit her for a few days before coming here or if you return on the way back or maybe she can come and live with you in Panama at a later date.
The 2012 stuff I hear is supposed to intensify there and here so its just a matter of joining somewhere a survival team, now one has any garantees in being the last to survive.
If your going to be on my team which would be your team communications is essential, write me and let me know what is going on. Write the lawyer Ariel Sucre, say hello, he is the key for your permanent stay in Panama. Franklin
From: rightprotect@hotmail.com
To: botanicofranklingruber@hotmail.com
Subject: RE: FARMING!
Date: Thu, 24 Mar 2011 02:18:42 -0500
Hmm, enticing,
I have just about had it with life here at Ada's. She let's my stupid nephew(which Laura dumped on her) walk all over her. He has never known any discipline and treats Ada like crap and takes so much advantage of her. When I point it out she gets mad at me saying that I'm implying that she lets him walk all over her, which she does! Truth hurts! He stresses her out so much and he doesn't care. He's real good at sports and goes to the gym a lot so he's got a huge ego. I hate the fact that Laura can't control him and burdened my stressed out mother with his condescending ass. I swear, he's going to end up killing her. Anyway, I told Ada I was fed up and was going to leave and never come back.
I called my only friend Echo, who's hurt from being in a car accident when I visited her and was pretty upset that I left her alone there. Well, not alone, she has plenty of friends there, just doesn't like them. She wants me to come live with her again and get a job so she doesn't have to work since she's hurt. At first I was liike screw that, she'd just be using me to pay her bills. She's got a twenty thousand dollar settlement coming up in about nine months from her accident and she wants to buy a house in Kentucky. I had left before because she has all these issues and really stinks of ulterior motives. But today I was so exasperated here at home that I called her and told her I might come back. She says they'll hire me at the day labor place, they'd hire anybody. And with my 440 a month I could pay her bills. Argh, but Florida is way crowded and I'd have to depend on her to drive me around. But, I still feel like she'd be using me, she says I'd be saving her. She's real cute and doesn't mind me having herpes and says she loves me. I did miss her a lot and felt real guilty when I left. Another plane ticket to Florida would be like two hundred bucks(one way), and then she would appropriate my remaining money I'm sure. I looked on craigslist earlier and saw an ad for someone who's driving to Tampa and needs help with gas, which would only cost me about eighty bucks. Right now i have six hundred and will have a thousand at the end of the month.
And then I checked your email and saw about the farming gig. Hmm, cute crazy girl in Florida who wants to marry me and is in total denial of all this 2012 stuff, who smokes cigarettes....or organic food with my father in Panama. Decisions, decisions. Do you have any farming experience? I don't, really. I mean I've milked a cow before. Tell me more about this farm. Exactly what will we be growing? Is the irrigation set up? Argh, this girl in Florida is enticing because she would be easy for me. Sorry for the noncommunication lately, I'm stuck on stupid.
Maybe I could take that ride to Florida, help her for a couple of months, and then save up again for a ticket to Panama....ugh, I'm just not sure about anything. I would still get my pension in Florida, but that would go to paying rent there and such. Hmm, housing and company car, too? Umm, I'm a bit confused. I feel so dumb. How sure is this farming proposal? What would my days be like? Will he provide the seeds, etc? Will there be other workers besides you and me? Would Marisol and your kids be living there as well? Would you move out there yourself or still keep your house in Boquete? Just fill me in. This ride to Florida leaves on the 26th or 27th.
Oh yeah, also I have a meeting in a couple of days with the Texas Department of Rehabilitative Services. Some vocational training thing that will help my head injured ass get a job here. I hate it here though, so I don't know if I'm going to go. I would still have to be here at Ada's with my annoying punk nephew. I also want to look into getting a vasectomy before I leave. I wonder if Medicare would cover it.
Sincerely,
- Victor
From: botanicofranklingruber@hotmail.com
To: rightprotect@hotmail.com
Subject: FARMING!
Date: Wed, 23 Mar 2011 14:55:25 +0000
Victor, some new developments in this area. A retired American here wants me to manage his farm...generate croups and go 50/50 on their sales, he provides housing, a company car, etc. We are considering this, this will take us about 30 miles away from Boquete but still come in to sell my products at the tuesday BCP meeting. Would you like to help me do some farming and enjoy eating your our own organic produce?
If you still plan to come this way, you should notify me at least a week in advance of your arrival date as life here is precarious and don´t want to leave anything up in the air at the time you arrive so I can be better organized to receive you. My business may zoom up or it may zoom down, the following weeks shall determine that as the tourist off season begins to set in
Best to you and Ada and Sisters. Frank
From: rightprotect@hotmail.com
To: botanicofranklingruber@hotmail.com
Subject: RE: The Valuable Things of Life!
Date: Mon, 21 Mar 2011 08:07:08 -0500
Hi Frank,
I feel like my whole "scabies" episode was a curse. I never had scabies. Thinking I had scabies was a total mindfuck though. That, and finding out more about how screwed up the world is which totally negated my past efforts and has made me sure I am on our satanic government's bad side, along with every Christian out there(www.satansgovernment.com). The US is headed for a totalitarian future. We are about to lose all of our pseudo-freedoms. Bye bye constitution. I believe they are using the internet and it's "freedom" to leak themselves out because their plan is finally coming to fruition. The wars and deception just don't stop.
Yesterday I sold my mountain bike on craiglist for $300. That puts my account at about $600. Next month I will have a little over a thousand. I'm not sure how much I would need to travel to Panama. I don't watch TV at all. It's all part of the media programming that I refuse to go along with. Sadly, even the internet is. Sorry so short, can't seem to think of anything else to say. I want to leave Ada's so badly, I just have nowhere else to go. Even if I came to Panama, I'm wondering if things would be any better for me. People in Panama are still brainwashed with money and you have a whole other family to support. I have been running and working out lately too. Is there a gym in Boquete?
From: botanicofranklingruber@hotmail.com
To: rightprotect@hotmail.com
Subject: The Valuable Things of Life!
Date: Sun, 20 Mar 2011 00:17:45 +0000
Hello Victor, you said everything is dainted with profit and wrong. There is still room in this world to find a place where you can exchange goods for service, without seeking profit, from where your at it may be impossible yet if you search you shall find that place. I think that your diary is a vary valuable document that will give you review to examin yourself for your personal growth so you can be all the good you can be, to make a differrence. There was a young boy whose name was Auduban, he lived in a time when every body was shooting at birds, well he taught much of the world to love and respect and leave birds free....in his honer the Audobon Society was later born, his purpose became realized!
You seem to be convinced that you are worthless because you cannot continue in your ego trip, and now that its gone your worthless.....could not be furthest from the truth, as a young adult now you have experience to review and define your life and goal better.
How is it that you where in a better state of mind when you arrived with scabies at your mothers house? Now you have the confort, hot water too, good food....all the tv and computer time....a pension check and your more unhappy than when you where on the streets, yes even the time to get your head together and instead of doing so you want to kill yourself. There are mexicans out there risking their lives to cross the order for a chance at what you are taking for granted....No doubt for a while you felt relief to have a home to come back to, now your bored to death. Maybe what you need is something to challenge your intelligence and wits in life. Quite frankly I never liked San Antonio as a place to live and to some degree understand you.
Your concerned about the world going to hell, well people don't wait for the world to end to expire, they do it naturlly or by accident all the time, for centuries. What counts is how happy you can make yourself every day of your existence. There are places where you can obtain National Geographic Magazines, past issues for .50 cents. Try and find some and travel the world vicariously until you come upon a spot, could be in the US as well that gives you satisfaction, rethink all the places you have been, whch did you like the most? Frank
From: rightprotect@hotmail.com
To: botanicofranklingruber@hotmail.com
Subject: RE: The Valuable Things of Life!
Date: Sat, 19 Mar 2011 16:12:30 -0500
I've come to realize that maybe in my adventures I was just seeking validation for a purpose I thought I had. I use to say my mission was the world's healthiest ego trip. I thought living a book(documenting every detail of my life on a tape recorder and typing them up) was the same thing as writing a book. After being so high on myself for so long, then realizing all my "work" was in vain, that's like a fatal blow to me. I did learn some things in my travels. I learned that it truly is human nature to be good and I confirmed my hunch that humanity was on its way to doom. I used to find happiness in things, but no longer. I can't find value in anything, because everything is tainted with profit motives and wrong. I feel like, what's the point to anything. Maybe if I would've slaved away like everybody else my whole life and remained ignorant to the truth I uncovered traveling around homeless, maybe if I would've climbed the ladder high and ended up a millionaire, maybe I wouldn't be so certain that I wasn't going to die soon. I just broke it off with my friend from Florida. I thought I should be relieved but I am a little in angst. Now I truly have no friends. I deactivated my facebook too. Farewell, Frank. I'm leaving.
From: botanicofranklingruber@hotmail.com
To: rightprotect@hotmail.com
Subject: The Valuable Things of Life!
Date: Sat, 19 Mar 2011 15:16:18 +0000
Victor, our goals are set from what we VALUE IN LIFE!
Surely in all your adventures you have found VALUE in some person, some idea, some object...you have found some things, ideas or people you LIKE! There may have been some visual scenes you liked and wish you had a camera at the moment for freezing time.
Recently some one sent me an email of a hunter who had just taken an automatic picture of himself with one foot on the deer in the wilderness, looking so proud of his kill holding the rifle in his hand. When the photograph was processed he noticed that the sudden flash had saved his life. Behind him about to grab his ass was this huge MOUNTAIN LION!
You spend a lot of time in internet.....think about the idea of searching for UNIQUE INTERESTING FREE PHOTOGRAPHS that can be placed in simple inexpensive frames. Your collection could then travel the World with you exhibiting it where ever you go, bazaars, fairs, parks, etc. They could be so fascinating they would become a means to meet interesting people. Also since you are against money, any one who wanted to buy you simply would deny that but state that you might trade for something you need then hand them a list of things your willing to trade for. You would be promoting the idea....THE HELL WITH MONEY wherever you went! Isn´t that one of the things that piss you off about this civilization, ....many of the pictures could portray the new vision of a world you believe in. Your conversations with people would be as seeds that some one else will water and a money less world could eventually evolve. Each community would have a trading center.
The marijuana to peace idea. Marijuana was not the goal, it was the vehicle to arrive at promoting the ideal, the goal of PEACE! Why abondon your goal, PEACE IN THE WORLD is probably the most noble goal anyone could have. Just change vehicles...photographs or any other useful means of communicating the IDEA. A great wise man once said that it was better to light one candle than to curse the darkness. Ligh your candle again Victor, believe in yourself and your mission of promoting PEACE. There are millions of people out there that will hear you.
Promoting Peace is the most useful way of lovin ourselves and God.
In our struggles in life we all fall, faulter, its human nature. When we fall we should muster the courage to get back up each time we fall. Eventually sooner or later we stand strong and move forward elegantly to achieve our goals. The two qualities we need to get back on our feet is FAITH, BIG FAITH in our mission and PATIENCE!
You are a young man who just went through the first half of his life gaining experience. Now you can better meditate on that experience to fine tune your goal and reach it.
I pray that you find a female partner that does not want to have children as I imagine you don´t. There is one out there that is your soul mate. Pray to God that she be placed in your path while you are promoting peace, on a Godly Mission.
The distance that separates us makes us live like in two dimensions, like if I where dead and my spirit managed to use internet to get this last message to you....that you LIVE and be happy even if many arround you are unhappy. Teach yourself to be happy in any circumstance so you may teach others to be happy anywhere as well. The peace is within no without, its the distractions outside that draw our attention away from our peace. Once its strong inside we can share it with others outside. God Bless and Keep you Victor, Your Dad Franklin
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