1. What's the ideal weight for a lawyer?
About five pounds, including the urn.
2. A lawyer fell overboard. A shark swam around him, looked him in the eyes and swam away.
Professional courtesy.
3. Ninety-nine percent of lawyers give the rest a bad name.
4. If I had but one life to give for my country, it would be a lawyer’s.
5. What do you throw to a drowning lawyer?
His partners.
6. Why did the lawyer cross the road? To get to the accident on the other side.
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