pparty

 

This is one of the first essays I wrote back in 2002, right after I broke up with Chasity.

The Portable Party

    I have been an avid bus-rider for almost two years now. I have pretty much mastered the transit-system in my town and am no longer dependent on a car to get around and be a productive citizen. It was a total no-brainer.

    I believe the end of life as we know it will come when that invisible ozone layer up in the sky, that is there for our protection naturally, is no longer. People will drop like flies from skin cancer and it will all be because of our modern invention, the internal-combustion engine. The end of life as we know it will be mankind's own fault. I have even heard that the ozone layer has split into two recently. I have to act fast.
     Some people I've shared my ideas with reply by saying, "Why should I care? It won't be in my lifetime." They don't stop and think, "Hmm, I wonder if us driving so much will someday end the life of one of my children, or perhaps their children, or just maybe, everybody."
    In most cases, automotive exhaust is invisible. If you do see it, it disappears and people forget it was ever there. That invisible waste is killing our ozone layer day by day and people are just ignorant to it because it's not directly visible.

    What is the main reason people get cars anyway? So they won't have to wait right? With the urban-sprawl in this day and age, rush-hour starts around 2:00pm. People end up sitting in traffic, wasting time, and burning up their cars as well as our ozone layer. Is it really that convenient?
    Then there's the people who say, "Oh, I won't get in a wreck, I am a great driver." It doesn't matter how good a driver you are. There are plenty of morons on the road that aren't. I think they should mandate IQ tests in order to be approved for a driver's license. And you can't ever forget that everyone makes mistakes. Remember, mistakes in cars just happen to kill people.

    The $20 I spend on my bus-pass each month sure beats car-related expenses such as insurance, a monthly payment, maintenance, gasoline and the risk of getting in a car-accident. It just isn't worth it. Usually people spend more than half of one's paycheck goes into paying for car-related expenses each month. Couldn't you do something better with all that money? Duh.

    Now, if the bus were to be in a bad accident, first off injuries would be minimal. A car and a bus, hmm, who would win that fight? Also, if I was injured, my hospital bills would be paid for by the bus company. I would be covered automatically. Why spend money on insurance?

    With the money I save by not having a car, I can afford to pay more rent. I live in a great part of town in an awesome apartment, all by myself, with only a part-time job. I can afford to live in such a safe, crime-free place all thanks to the bus.
    I just recently separated from my girlfriend because I felt I needed to learn the independence-lesson, to be self-supportive and live alone(also, because she thought I was crazy for having ideas like this). Where I lived, I had 3 routes at my disposal. I can do whatever I want, whenever I want to. A lot of times I can do them quicker than people with cars. My job was 5-10 minutes away on the bus. I had two grocery stores to choose from. I just had options up the ass. I also happened to live in the first building of the complex, right next to the bus-stop. It's like I had a $20/month chauffer. You can't beat that with a stick.
     Cars have made our modern society just plain lazy. Before I started riding the bus, I delivered pizza for two years. I've killed two cars delivering pizza. Sure, the money's great and it's a simple job, but it all depends on one thing, a working automobile. When the car breaks down, so does your job.

     Ideally, I would like to see the buses running 24 hours, 7 days a week. To anywhere there is a residence, every 10-15 minutes. What would you need a car for then?
     I just want to eliminate cars in big cities. If people want a car so bad, they can move to the country. There, a car is used as a tool, not just an expensive excuse to be lazy. The only vehicles allowed in the city should be public ones, such as police and ambulances. Just think how much quicker they could do their jobs and save lives if there was no traffic congestion.

     Here's another idea. I say we set up Park-N-Rides all around loop 1604. If people from the country want to visit the city, they can drive to the Park-N-Ride, park, and ride the bus into town. I am sure I haven't thought of it all, so I would appreciate any input from anyone who wants to email me.

     Before I started riding the bus, I was all scrawny and skinny. My chest was concave almost. It wasn't until I started riding the bus and walking that I started toning up. Humans were designed with two legs for a reason, and it's not so we can push the accelerator and brake. Walking is a full-body exercise, it doesn't just work your legs. I was like, "Cool, I don't have to go to the gym now, what a great compensatory-strategy."
     All we have to do is change the way we look at things. Instead of seeing a long walk as a chore or a burden, see it for what it really is. A good, easy workout. The body is designed to sweat. Sweating is good for you. It cleans out a lot of impurities. People who don't sweat are plain unhealthy.
     I feel that since I walk so much, my immune-system is top-notch so I can safely afford to have negative vices such as smoking cigarettes. In the whole time I have been walking and drinking water, I haven't been sick at all. I may be delusional when it comes to this, but hey, I feel better about it, who cares if people believe me.

     My life has never been better than since I started walking and drinking water. Every aspect of it has improved. Before I would get depressed because I thought I was too skinny, but now I have great muscle tone and a good cardiovascular system and I didn't have to spend any money going to the gym to get it. The more you walk the easier it becomes, just like any other practice. Now I walk everywhere the bus doesn't go. Sometimes, I'll get off at an earlier stop just so I can walk the remainder of the way.
     Water. Water truly is the elixir of life. Around the same time I started riding the bus so much, I started drinking water like a camel. It just makes you feel good. I now carry my Nikken magnetized water-bottle everywhere I go. I refill it every time I pass a water-fountain or stop into a convenience store. Water is so inexpensive as well. Most, if not all, places will let you have water for free.
     I have also become very anti-carbonation now. I don't drink soda anymore. Why would I consume so much useless gas and have to pay for it when water is free? Why does anyone? Don't you have enough gas? It just doesn't make any sense whatsoever.

     Being successful is just plain easy, just tweak your life a little. Find ways to produce the same end-result in the fastest amount of time. Let me quote Thomas Edison, "There's a better way to do it. Find it!"

     Ok, now on to my idea. Why don't people with cars ride the bus? First of all, the bus has this "ghetto" image. There are two kinds of people who ride the bus. There are the people that ride because they can't afford a car and they think that cars are the only way to get around. Then there are the people who prefer to ride the bus because they see how it saves them money and improves their life. I am one of those people.
     So anyway, I got this great idea which should drastically improve ridership. My plan is to have a group of friends and I get together one day and just ride the bus, comfortably, in the air-conditioning. Anyone who doesn't have a monthly pass can buy a day-pass for $2 at any transfer-center. We will take suggestions of recommended stops(like the Witte Museum, Brackenridge park, or any restaurant) and visit many places in our wonderful town. The portable-party will soon become a reality.
     A party just isn't a party unless certain things are there.

     Music is essential to having a good party. Now, you can't bring a big boom-box on the bus because people have different tastes, so I got to thinking. I don't know how many times I've been sitting on the bus listening to my portable CD-player and wished my friend could hear the song I was listening to. I thought, "Hmm, they should make a "splitter" device where you could plug two sets of headphones into one jack." I soon found out that such a device exists. They sell them for $4 dollars at Radio-Shack.
     I got to thinking some more. It dawned on me that there could be one CD-player playing a CD, and that lots of people could just plug in and listen to the same music. How? You ask. Easy, just buy a lot of those splitters and "daisy-chain" the music around the crowd. People could bring their own headphones and just plug in. If they have some of those "ear-bud" headphones, they could just use one and leave the other one hanging out. That way they could still hold conversations and listen to the music at the same time.
     We could take turns listening to different CD's. It would be a great way to be introduced to new music, as well as to meet different people and have interesting conversations.
     Now this idea is still in the speculation-phase, I'm not too familiar with electronics. For all I know, maybe batteries don't have enough power to share the music with everyone. Who knows? Until I go out and purchase splitters I just won't know, but hey, it's an idea.

     At every party there has to be intoxication. We could have a big cooler full of alcohol and food, which we would only consume at a scheduled stop, off of the bus. Like a park or something. I know the bus company would be against the idea of having alcohol aboard the bus, but what I propose is that when boarding the bus, we leave the cooler right next to the driver. If it takes up to much room for passengers getting on, we could even figure out a way to put a pad-lock on the cooler and give the driver the key when we boarded the bus. That way we could bring the cooler to the back and it would be out of the way. The cooler could sit right in the middle of the row where the driver would have a direct view of it in his rear-view mirror, just to ensure no one is opening it with a spare key and sneaking swigs on the bus.

     Wouldn't everyone be for this idea? It would only save lives if people were permitted to get drunk and ride the bus home. There would already be a designated-driver. Also, people attending our party would have the freedom to leave when they want to and catch a different bus home. Not to mention, any bus-patron would be welcome to join the party until they get to their stop. The party would be an ever-changing group of people, usually strangers. Think of it, what better way to practice social skills and learn to accept the difference and diversity in this world?
     Every day I tell everyone I meet on the bus about my idea and people have shown great interest in participating. I want to hold a small "brainstorming" session to go over our introductory party.
     The other purpose these parties will have is that drivers will hear about it and want to see it for themselves. That will show them how smart and economical riding the bus is and they may think twice when paying for their expensive car payment, insurance, gasoline and maintenance.
     If this idea takes off and becomes very popular, I don't want any money for thinking it up. I am sure there are talks about this very same subject in other cities across the nation. Just knowing that my idea has made a difference in the world is payment enough. Thank you.

     Just think of the repercussions this idea could have down the road. People wouldn't have to waste their time working for their death-machine. They could spend those resources towards something more productive to improve their life or everyone else's. Money truly is the root of all evil. It incites greed and deceit. This could be the first step in making money obsolete. Down the road, people might start doing things just for the great feeling of accomplishment and knowing they're helping humanity. Doesn't that sound like the beginning of a peaceful world? Generosity could become the global currency, maybe. Hey, you have to start somewhere right?

     Everyone in this world, no matter our differences, has something in common. We are all human beings. I challenge anyone who tells me that it doesn't make them feel good to be good. If you don't think that's true, I invite you to try it and see for yourself.
     I have recently found the secret to life. The sure-fire way to get special treatment, have rules broken for you and be made an exception to a lot of things. It's totally legal. All you have to do is be nice and respectful. Just get in the habit of it so it becomes second-nature. It's as simple as that.
     Even though I am not religious at all, I follow the golden-rule to a tee. Do unto others as you would have them do unto you. Generosity will come back to you in the same, if not more, amount than you give it. Even if at first you're nice for selfish reasons, because you know it improves the chances of getting your way. Hey, at least you're not being a dick right? Selfishness may be your motive at first, but once you see the difference kindness makes, you just feel genuinely good. We're only human.
     Now, every time I get off the bus, as I'm exiting, I always look to see if the driver's nametag is in place. If it is, I tell the driver, "Thanks for the ride Mr./Mrs. _______, you be sure to have a great day and drive carefully." You should see the smiles I have gotten from bus drivers. Ear-to-ear grins. I feel their day has been made right, by little 'ol me. It's just a great feeling, like getting high on life.

     Forget the PGA Village issue. What? Would you prefer that land be urbanized instead? Modern golf courses don’t use chemical pesticides and they conserve more nature than building residences. Think of all the jobs its being here will create. Hell, Tiger Woods will be playing in San Antonio. Imagine all the recognition our small city will receive.

     Now our ozone layer is a naturally-occurring part of this world. Natural things tend to heal given the chance. It has been under constant attack since the dawn of automobiles. Who’s to say if we lessen the damage we cause, it won’t come back on its own? If that seems unrealistic, hey, at least it won’t get much worse if we stop attacking it. We should always conserve whatever we can.
     Like I said, I live a very simple and minimal life. I can afford to have high living standards and only work a part-time job because I ride the bus. I am happy riding and walking, it's great exercise.

     Unfortunately, success is measured in money these days. It should be measured by how happy you are with what you already have.

     Well that's it for this dissertation. It would be so rad if I was able to make a difference and help save people's time, money, and lives.

    Doesn't this all make perfect sense? Duh.