titachap16

 12-17-23

Tita:  So I just read an excerpt to Victor from Swami Sita's The Essentials of Yoga Practice and Philosophy.  From page 29 through 30.  It's titled What is Happiness?  

"In the same manner, we fail to look within for happiness and continue to search for it in the world of the senses.  We become so restless.  Why are we restless?  It is because we think that there are a lot of things to do, a lot of experiences to have.  We have a lot of desires because we think that happiness will come from the satisfaction of desires.  But we constantly find ourselves disappointed as the desires, once fulfilled leave us empty and unfilled.  Then we wrongly assume that it is the fault of the object and go on changing the object(like changing husbands and yet not finding the perfect one because perfection is within), not realizing that this process is unending and that the true problem lies in our mind which is looking outside for happiness.  

Happiness is within, but we look for it in sensual objects.  Yoga and meditation help us to calm down, to stop that process of running after desires, and to look within to find answers.  

Relaxation in Yoga is important.  Relaxation means ceasing to be restless, and letting go of our attachments and desires.  It is also surrendering ourselves or accepting our inner self, and realizing that all is perfect(Victor disagrees).  In the Yoga class, we combine breathing, and relaxation to help people turn inwards, relax, slow down and become aware of themselves.  

There is a story of a monkey who put his hand in a jar to get some cookies.  He grasped a handful of cookies and tried to pull his hand out of the jar, but his hand was stuck.  He became very unhappy and frustrated, jumping around with his hand stuck in the jar, still grasping to the cookies, not realizing that the only way for him to get out of his plight was to drop the cookies.  In the same manner, we need to let go of our desires in order for us to enjoy freedom and happiness that are already here.

What is Freedom?

         In Yoga, it is said that freedom can only be attained through self-discipline.  True freedom is realizing our inner ruler, the immortal Atman, which is the one without a second.  Freedom is the birthright of man.  Freedom is the very nature of the Eternal Soul.  Freedom is knowledge, peace and bliss.  The so-called freedom we enjoy is in fact, dependency, resulting from slavery to our desires and the mind.  By self-discipline we control our minds projections and find true freedom, which is or true nature.  

False Freedom

Loose life is not perfect freedom.  Eating anywhere, sleeping anywhere, aimless wandering, liberty of speech, to be a king, to have plenty, or to possess immense wealth is not freedom.  To shirk responsibility is not freedom.  Material independence will not give you perfect happiness or freedom.  

Real freedom is not merely political or economic.  Real Freedom is lordship over oneself.  It is the Freedom of the Soul.  It is attainable only through sow and painful stages(Victor disagrees here too). Real freedom is freedom from birth and death.  Real freedom is the freedom from the trammels of flesh and mind.  Real freedom is freedom from the bonds of Karma.  Real freedom is freedom from desires, wants, likes and dislikes, attachment, lust, anger, greed, etc... Real Freedom is identification with the Supreme Self.

The Cause of Bondage

Mind is the cause of bondage and salvation of man.  The egoistic mind is the cause of bondage.  Mind imagines, through indiscrimination and ignorance, that the soul has been confined and located in this body, and hence, it perceives the soul to be in bondage.  The non egoistic mind is the root of Moksha-or liberation.  You have created your own bondage through your desires, attachments, egoism and cravings; you cry for emancipation.  Attachment is the most powerful weapon of Maya(cosmic illusion).  The first attachment starts with the physical body, and then all other attachments come, attachments to body, food, wife, sons, friends, etc... There is no end to cares and worries.  Man creates for himself all these cares.  No one is to blame.

When there is no I or egoism there is liberation.  It is liberation when the mind is not attached to any object.  It is bondage when the mind desires or grieves over anything, rejects or accepts anything, feels angry or happy at anything.  Emancipation is release from the bondage of the little ego and its desires and cravings.  

Liberation

Know your real divine nature.  You are lions, not sheep.  This is a story of a baby lion who, growing up amongst sheep thinks that he is a sheep.  He stays baaing like a sheep until a lion comes and brings him to the river to see himself in the reflection of the river.  The sheepish lion has mistaken himself to be a sheep, until he sees as the same as a lion and realizes his true nature as a lion.  He then roars like a lion for the first time, liberating himself from the false concept of himself.

The purpose of Yoga is to free oneself from all false concepts about oneself and realize our immortal Self.

11:42am  Tita:  Victor and I are hanging out.  I slept three hours yesterday, zero the night before.  Kind of in dream state, halfway asleep, halfway awake.  I am kind of calm today, I haven't meditated or anything, or chanted.  Anyway, Victor and I are kind of bored.

Victor:  Speak for yourself.  I was having fun doing my job, right until you showed up.  Now, I am bored.  I will be having fun again right after you close that door.  No, from the other side. :]

Tita:  Anyway, I am bored and I kind of want to bait someone else in his family, just out of boredom, LOL.  Since Lauri, his twin sister is so successful, according to Mama-Ada.  I am thinking of using this as bait.  Victor can text her with, "I am sorry I am so offensive, I have just been playing.  Can we work it out?"  

    We understand that she holds the key to what we want which is to have an email session with Mr. Franklin Gruber Chiari, with my father-in-law.  His digits.  

    Hehe, I am thinking that kind of like a prank Victor should text Laura with, "Hey, the real reason I reached out yesterday was because I really can't work it out with Tita.  After all of these years it's not going to work and I don't know how to leave her, I am desperate.  Can you pay for my flight?"  

    Then wait a couple days in silence and finally tell her, "Sike!" and have the relief wash over her, because none of your family wants you to visit.  They wrote you off a long time ago.  

    That would be a great way to lure her into a dialog where she can incriminate your family even more.  Gnome sayin'?  

    Even tell her, "In the name of peace the things I said about you, I was just playing around, to me, since I have zero contact from you guys, it was fun.  That's all it was."   Maybe something like that.  

    Whatever comes from Victor's heart.  I don't want to be the one who says what he thinks, because I don't know.  I am not sure how he got along with her in the past.  All I know is that when I met him he had zero relationship with Lauri.  

    Then I would see him sharing sex jokes with Diana and having very infrequent phone calls because she was insecure about her choices with covid.  His whole family only want to be there for the good times with him.  

I feel like Victor would do better just kind of divorcing his family.  I think he should think, "They are there and just like before I will have brief contact every now and then maybe.  I recognize that they were never good for me and only appeared to LOVE me out of guilt, obligation and other people's expectations.  They "left me to God" and I could be half-dead somewhere and they would say that I deserve it because of my choices.  Because I proudly smoke marijuana."  

    I don't think they really care.  They gave up on him.  They only care from the mouth-out, because Victor goes against their brainwashed world-view and they are secretly terrified of him and his truths.  They left him a long time ago.  

Victor and I have some trauma-bonding going on, lol. Yet, we are very lovable people, we know other people enjoy our company, and if they don't we have each other.

Victor:  Sometimes too much of each other.

Tita: Just throwing it out there, it might be fun, to do some kind of a prank.  Umm, I kind of hesitate with his mom, just because she is older.   I kind of feel like we shouldn't put her through a scare like that.

Victor:  JUST YOUR OPINION ONLY!  Hahaha.

Chapter 17