6:06am Tita is rudely interrupting me again with a Message From Matthew. I will be sure to include the link to it, but let me orate now. Funk dat. I will copy and paste it later. I think some of that stuff is a lot of hooey, anyway.
7:36am Yet another interruption from Tita. It better be good. I am busy!
Tita: This is the thing. Victor's mom is as equally responsible for Victor's trauma, if not more, than his dad.
His dad was a spoiled kid. He never had siblings so he was an only child and even though he knew better he gave up his power to Ada, not realizing that even though she had siblings she had no emotional maturity.
Frank had her choose where to take the kids. She neglected Victor. She confessed to me on the phone, I was talking about my nephew Joey and how I thought he was a genius, how he would take things apart and put them back together, how he was a mechanical genius, and then all of a sudden she cuts in with, "Well, Victor broke all of my things."
Ada could not handle a rambunctious, high-energy child who Victor was when he was a kid. She preferred and gave all of her LOVE and attention to her daughters, mainly Diana.
If Victor's dad had some balls and actually kidnapped him and his sister, they would have been better off.
Victor is right. His dad didn't keep trying. He was a pussy.
He gave up his energy and power to Ada, not having the emotional maturity to realize that she was a kid herself. Meanwhile, Victor and all of his siblings suffered. Victor suffered most, in my opinion because he didn't get the LOVE, the care, the hugs.
This was told to us by an ayahuascera, what was her name? Patty. Patty did an energetic reading on Victor a few years ago, and she has always been right. After reading Victor she had the insight that Victor didn't receive enough LOVE, enough care, enough attention, enough hugs, from his mom.
When I asked Ada about that, when he was gone to visit her recently, she said, "Well, actually, the girls wanted their hair done," and this and that.
Ignored, Victor was left to his own devices and doing his own thing, not even feeling like part of the family with all of these women in the house. That's fucked up. Like I told him, he would've been better off, you should've been kidnapped by Franklin. It should not have been an empty threat
Wouldn't Victor have been better off in Panama, in a natural surrounding in the hills and rainforest? Hell yeah!
They could've found a loving stepmother and have a stable upbringing. That's probably what would have happened. They didn't because his dad had no follow-through. He got scared and brought them right back and went back and ate some more free food he didn't deserve.
Victor is very justified and I understand that he had trauma due to both of his dumb parents. The parent that he had, as much as he used to admire her, even when he was twenty, he was recently looking back at his writings, early on he knew all this about his mom.
His mom didn't really love him, didn't respect him, didn't encourage him properly. All of the love and attention went to the girls. They still go to the girls. His mom can't have compassion for her only son. That's despicable. Even for her other son, he purposely stays away from Ada. Her son she had with her second marriage(that also failed), that son is equally detached from his mom. He stays away from her.
Who wants that personality? Who wants to feel guilty about poor-me Ada every single time you get near her? Like Victor says, she is a walking sympathy-plea. Lol, she even told me she had coined the phrase, The Poor-Me-Syndrome.
She is a huge projector. She exemplifies that syndrome! How did she come up with that phrase? Because she is it! Ohh, look at what I did, look at my life, not realizing that however it happened, she was not a good mom.
She wasn't a good wife, either! She was a spoiled kid who didn't have the emotional-intelligence to raise her kids right. She was even always hiring a housekeeper, instead of a babysitter while she was working. What's up with that? Kids need attention and LOVE, not the house cleaned.
The house can be a fucking mess, but if the kids aren't happy, and especially Victor, not having all their needs and desires attended to, that's where the money should have gone. That's where Toño Torres(Victor's mom's dad) also failed, why didn't Ada's dad shake her up and tell her, "You have to get a job that pays. I am not going to put you through school, that's a waste of money. You just want accolades and more academic achievement when your kids need food on the table! They need after-school activities, they need clothes, and guess what, because it didn't work out with the person that you chose, the person that you had a ten year relationship with, this Franklin Gruber, YOU, as the mother and only provider, have to provide instead of go to school."
Why didn't her dad do that instead of sending her to school, that she didn't even use?
Do you see how all of these errors happen? Mistake upon mistake.
She was cut off, so she became a gringa. That's why Victor empathizes with gringos. Even though he has Latino blood, he didn't get a Latino loving and supportive house growing up, the way I did.
I also recognize that just because I am Latina that not all Latinos had what I had, which is a good mom and a providing dad. Papa Chuy had a mental illness, but he was a good man. He worked his ass off for his children, so did my mom. My parents did the right thing by their kids.
I really feel for Victor. I understand him so much more now. It's all just an interesting story and would make a good novel, a good movie.
Poor Victor, honestly. I mean, does his mistakes that he's made, are they not understandable when you see what a horrible childhood he had? It's just horrible what happened. He was in a country that could've provided that for him, but he did not have good parents. Neither good grandparents, apparently, either.
Ada became a gringa. Ada started thinking only of herself and her wants and needs and her kids were left up to their own devices while she dated, found a second husband, went to school instead of providing food and clothes and LOVE and care and attention and affection on Victor.
She was a little girl raising other little girls. She was essentially a four year old child with money, or not enough money, but hanging out with the girls, playing with their hair, doing girl things.
Victor had an immature mom and an immature dad. That's really what it boils down to. Any mistakes made by him have been a direct result of a really poor, dysfunctional, unloving background. That's it for now.
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