truly1wasp

 

WASP

 

What's the definition of a WASP?

Someone who gets out of the shower to pee.

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How many WASPs does it take to change a light bulb?

Two. One to mix the martinis, and one to call the electrician.

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What do WASPs say after they make love?

“Thank you very much; it'll never happen again.”

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How can you tell the bride at a WASP wedding?

She's the one kissing the golden retriever.

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Where do WASPs eat?

Restaurants.

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What do you call a WASP who doesn't work for his father, isn't a lawyer, and believes in social causes?

A failure.

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How can you tell the only WASP in a sauna?

He's the one with the Wall Street Journal on his lap.

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What's a WASP's idea of a welfare check?

An Irish tartan.

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Why did God create WASPs?

Somebody had to buy retail.

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How do WASPs wean their young?

By firing the maid.

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What's a WASP's idea of open-mindedness?

Dating a Canadian.

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What do you get when you cross a Jew and a WASP?

A pushy Pilgrim.

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What do you get when you cross a WASP and an orangutan?

I don't know, but whatever it is, it won't let you in its cage.

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What do you get when you cross a WASP and a Puerto Rican?

Assault and battery.

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How can you tell a male WASP is sexually excited?

By the stiff upper lip.

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How many WASPs does it take to plan a trip to Israel?

Two. One to ask where, and one to ask why.

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What do little girl WASPs want to be when they grow up?

“The very best person I possibly can.”

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Why did the WASP cross the road?

To get to the middle.

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What's a WASP’s idea of foreplay?

Drying the dishes.

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How can you tell the WASPs in a Chinese restaurant?

They're the ones not sharing the food.

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What's a WASP's idea of post-coital depression?

Not being able to reach The New Yorker from bed.

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How does a WASP propose marriage?

He asks, “How would you like to be buried with my people?”

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Two WASPs were making love when the man looked down and said, “Did I hurt you?”

“No,” she replied. “Why?”

“You moved.”