truly2dead

 

Famous Dead People

 

 

What did Grace Kelly have that Natalie Wood could’ve used?

A good stroke.

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Did you hear the new national anthem of Monaco?

“She’ll Be Comin’ ’Round the Mountain When She Comes . . .”

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Did you hear Prince Rainier finally got some good news?

The car is covered by insurance.

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Did you know that Princess Grace was on the radio?

And on the dashboard and on the steering wheel...

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What would Princess Grace be doing if she were alive today?

Scratching at the inside of her coffin.

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Did you hear about the new Vic Morrow movie?

Blade Runner II. It’s being made in two parts.

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One day in heaven John Lennon was sitting around looking pretty blue. Luckily Steve McQueen was on the next cloud over, and he came by and asked Lennon how come he was so down-in-the-mouth.

“Oh, I miss Yoko and Sean and my fans, I guess,” said Lennon. “It’s just not as much fun being dead as it was being alive.”

“Well cheer up,” said McQueen, “I’m having a party.”

So Lennon was looking pretty cheerful when Bob Marley drifted by a few hours later. “What’s happening, mon?” he asked. “Why you look so cheerful?”

“Steve McQueen’s having a party and I’m invited,” explained Lennon happily, only to have his face fall when Marley told him the party had been cancelled. “How come?” he asked dejectedly.

“Bobby Sands came early,” explained Marley, “and he ate all the food.”*

 

*Please keep in mind the gruesome deaths of all of these people. Bobby Sands was an Irish hunger striker, remember?

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How did they know Vic Morrow had dandruff?

They found his head and shoulders in the bushes.

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Who taught Grace Kelly to drive?

Ted Kennedy.

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What kind of wood doesn’t float?

Natalie Wood.

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Why doesn’t Natalie shower on the boat?

She prefers to wash up on shore.

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What’s blue and sings alone?

Dan Ackroyd.

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What’s the difference between a moose and Guy Lombardo’s orchestra?

With a moose, the horns are in front and the asshole’s in the rear.

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Did you hear Grace Kelly and Patricia Neal were to have made a movie together?

Called Different Strokes.

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Did you know Vic Morrow’s been made an honorary member of the Rotary Club?

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You know what’s next door to the Joan Crawford Daycare Center in Hollywood?

The Grace Kelly Driving School. (Also the store where they sell Natalie Wood Water Wings and the William Holden Drinking Helmet.)