trulyhk

  

How did Helen Keller burn her fingers?

Reading the waffle iron.

*

How did Helen Keller's mother punish her?

By rearranging the living-room furniture.

*

How did Helen Keller meet her husband?

It was a blind date.

*

Why were Helen Keller's fingers purple?

She heard it through the grapevine.

*

What did Helen Keller do when she fell down the well?

She screamed her hands off.

*

Did you hear about the Helen Keller doll?

Wind it up and it walks into walls.

*

Why does Helen Keller masturbate with one hand?

So she can moan with the other.

*

Why did Helen Keller's dog jump off a cliff?

You would too if your name was Uggggrrrgggh.

*

Why was Helen Keller's leg yellow?

Her dog was blind, too.

*

How did Helen Keller go crazy?

Trying to read a stucco wall.

*

How did Helen Keller burn her ear?

Answering the iron.

*

What did Helen Keller's parents do to punish her for swearing?

Washed her hands with soap.

*

Did you hear about Helen Keller's new book?

Around the Block in Eighty Days

*

How does Helen Keller drive?

With one hand on the wheel and the other on the road.

*

What's Helen Keller's favorite color?

Corduroy.