trulytoo

 

Too Tasteless to Be Included in This Book

 

How do you get a Polish girl pregnant?

Come in her shoe and let the flies do the rest.

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What's the difference between a slave and a tire?

A tire doesn't sing when you put the chains on.

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What music did they play at Anwar Sadat's funeral?

I Love a Parade.

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Two aged child molesters are sitting on a park bench, reminiscing about sexual adventures of their pasts. “Ah,” sighs one, "I remember when I had an eight-year-old with the body of a four-year-old . . ."

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How many blacks does it take to tar a roof?

A dozen, if you slice 'em thin enough.

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An unfortunate fellow was locked up in the state penitentiary doing five to ten for armed robbery. And all he could think of the whole time he was locked up was eating pussy.

The day finally came for his release. He walked out of the prison with the new suit and the ten dollars the officials had given him, and made a bee line for the whorehouse in the nearest town. Slamming down his ten-dollar bill on the front desk, he said, “I wanna eat some pussy.”

“Where've you been,” said the greasy fellow behind the desk. “Ten dollars these days don't buy more than a close look.”

“Listen, buddy,” said the ex-con, pulling him out of his chair by his shirt collar, “I wanna eat some pussy, and I want it now.”

“Okay, okay,” gasped the proprietor, “I'll see what I can do.” So the ex-con followed him through to the very back of the whorehouse, through some stained, tattered red curtains, and into a grimy little room where a bedraggled-looking whore lay spreadeagled on a filthy bed. “She's yours for the ten dollars,” said the proprietor, and the fellow went at it.

After a little while, he came across a piece of egg. “That's funny,” he thought to himself, “I don't think I had eggs for breakfast.” But he spat it out and kept eating away. Next he found a piece of chipped beef wedged between his front teeth.. “I'm sure I haven't eaten chipped beef this week,” he thought, but he kept on. Then he came across the corn.

“I know I haven't eaten any corn lately,” he said, sitting up. “I think Tm going to be sick.”

“Ya know,” said the whore, “that's what the last guy said.”

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Why do blacks smell?

So that blind people can hate them too.

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A trucker was carrying a load of bowling balls down the thruway when to his horror, the tailgate unfastened and hundreds of them went rolling across the road. He brought the big truck to a stop as fast as he could and ran back to the scene of the accident—only to see, to his astonishment, dozens of Poles already busy smashing the bowling balls with axes and sledgehammers and any other blunt instruments on hand.

“What the hell are you doing?” he asked.

“You gotta get these nigger eggs before they hatch,” they explained.

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What's the American dream?

A million blacks swimming back to Africa with a Jew under each arm.

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What's the definition of bad acne?

Waking up in the park with a blind man reading your face.

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Why does Helen Keller wear skin-tight pants?

So that people can read her lips.