013104

 

San Antonio, TX

Saturday January 31, 2004

     7:50am  Man, I'm just talking to my mom about her credit card. I was telling her about how I'm all excited about this big evolution in my project. This hacker dude I met. I need some tech support. I want someone to refer me to things I don't know about. I have it now. I have his number. His name is Tyrell. He told me he could get me a webpage for ten bucks. For a year. www.havethisbook.com for a year. That's what I want. I changed my mind about .org. I asked Tyrell, "Am I safe in assuming that the feds will be less likely to look at my stuff if it's .org as opposed to .com?" He told me that it doesn't really matter because of the Internet Privacy Act(signed by good 'ol Bill Clinton) makes it so where they cannot use any of it as incriminating evidence. So anyway, I'm thinking havethisbook.com instead of havethisbook.org.
                   Anyway, he asked me for a credit card number. He's right because I want to have it up before the second, before I leave, so I can give out the address while I'm traveling. I'm probably not going to leave on the second. Anyway, he said he needed a credit card number. I know my mom has a credit card. Last night I told my mom about him and I told her that only ten bucks would come out of her account which I would reimburse. Oh yeah, she said she was going to give me something because it's my birthday soon. Like some money or something, so I didn't think it would be a big problem. I told her all about my webpage and how I met the hacker kid. I made the mistake of mentioning he was a hacker. You know how paranoid she is. She's not going to give me her credit card number now. I told her, "Yeah, he said I needed a credit card."
                   Last night I got pissed off because when I tried telling my mom about my wondrous day she was too busy watching some stupid show. She was all, "Let me watch my show." I ended up crashing out. I woke up this morning pretty early like at 5:30. I thought my mom would be up at 6:30. I think today is a school day. Even my burden sister came over, hehe. She dropped off her son here and he's asleep in my mom's room. So, my mom's been awake. My sister called her and woke her up. She went back to sleep. She hasn't come out of her room. It's almost eight now. I really want to talk to her, damnit. If I didn't have to talk to her I could've left already. If she doesn't let me do this shit with her credit card then I'm going to have to find some way to get a credit card number. I'll call Tyrell and see if there are any other options.

                   Today I want to go out to some crafts store and get some rainbow beads for my stick. I'll tell them my story and see if they'll hook me up. My stick has this leather cord on it that would be perfect with some rainbow beads. It already has some red and black beads on there, but I want rainbow, damnit. So they'll match my hat and bracelet. It'll be a badass walking stick with that compass on top and rainbow beads and a tennis ball at the end. 

     8:20am  I think my mom is ignoring me. She's avoiding me on purpose. I'm going to wait her out. I can wait. I've learned the patience game real well.

     8:25am  I am going to go walk around the block outside. I'm bored, waiting for her to wake up. Maybe I'll find somebody with a cigarette.

     8:37am  I just got back from walking around the block. Came back and the door's locked. Maybe she's up. I'm going to go knock on the door.

     8:44am  I talked to my mom and she gave me her credit card number. So everything's cool. I was really surprised. I thought she wasn't going to let me have it. She did though. Cool. I'm all ready to go out the door now and start my day. Finally. I'm going to walk to the store and see if somebody will give me a cigarette. I'll wait for the bus.

                   My mom pisses me off. I told her, "Do you know who I want to go visit, mom? I want to go visit Chasity in Tampa." She told me, "You know what, I've just been thinking about getting rid of everything and just leaving." I looked at her and told her, "Mom, I would be proud of you if you did." She was all, "No, but my problems would still follow me." Pissed, I told her, "Mom, you are always miserable. You should really consider smoking some marijuana sometime." She told me, "No, no, no, no. When my kids leave and stop disrespecting me and talking back, then I'll be at peace." I quickly told her, "Mom! You can't blame us! Take some responsibility for the mistakes you've made in your life. Go ahead, point the finger." She said, "Even last night. Look at you, earlier you were on my back asking for the credit card number. This has to stop." I told her, "You are the only one who can stop it." She repeated how I had been asking for her credit card number and I said, "Yeah, and you gave it to me. Because you wanted to. Because you enjoy helping your son." She said, "Well, you guys always say that you don't need me." I told her, "Yeah, but you can help if you want to, which you do." She's the one helping. She needs to stop blaming all her problems on other people.

                   She had even offered to go buy me some beads for my walking stick.

     9:02am  I was walking almost to the gas station and all of a sudden this grey car pulls off on the side of the road. This black dude and this other dude get out and tell me, "Hey, what's up?" I didn't really recognize them at first. They were some dudes I talked to at Jim's the other night. They were all, "Man, I can't believe we saw you again." They were all going nuts about it and shaking my hand. They gave me a ride to the gas station. I told them about how productive I've been lately. How I'm going to get my webpage soon. They were all excited for me. I'm famous. Just some random kids I met at Jim's the other night. Back when I was nocturnal for a while.

                   When they first got out of the car I told them, "Hey, wanna smoke a bowl?" They told me they didn't smoke.

     9:08am  Ali is hooking me up with a cigarette outside the Citgo. I appreciate it, Ali.

                   The bus comes at 9:45, which means I have time to tell the lady inside the Citgo my story.

     9:24am  I caught the bus going the other direction, to Ingram Mall. I'll ride it around.

     9:42am  I got this guy to listen to me on the bus. I asked him what the world's greatest problem was and he said, "Not enough people believe in God." He listened to my whole story. All the way through. He's getting off the bus now.

                  That was awesome. On my way to save the world. Right before he got to his stop he turned around and told me, "I think you're on the right track." I told him, "Thanks, somebody's gotta do it."

     9:55am  I just got off in front of the mall. Ingram Mall. There's a Villa Maria's Prados Mexican restaurant. I'm going to go see if I can score.

     9:59am  James at the Mexican Restaurant hooked me up with some tacos. I appreciate it, brother.

                  Calling the shots, calling the shots. Got my tacos.

     10:01am  I noticed this Mexican dude working there that has shirt that said, "Walking is Life." I made it a point to talk him before I left. He ended up not speaking English, so I translated a little part of my script. I told him my mission-objectives.

     10:05am  I stopped at the entrance to the mall. I got two breakfast tacos. I love surprises.

     10:07am  Amanda is hooking me up with a cigarette outside the mall. I appreciate it, Amanda. Oh sweet! She gave me two! Awesome.

                     Dude, right before Amanda walked by I looked in the ashtray and there weren't any good snipes. I was bummed because I wasn't going to get an after-meal smoke. Then, Amanda walked by. Thank you, Love. That happened on purpose.

     10:10am  This young couple walked by and I told them, "Hey, can I tell you guys a really interesting story? A free story. I'm not asking for anything. I just want you to listen." They shook their heads and kept walking. "Ignorance is bliss," I told them.

     10:20am  I walked into the Icing, by Claire's. It used to be Clair's Boutique. They didn't have any rainbow beads there and they didn't know where I could get any. I'm going to go upstairs to the Clair's Boutique and ask there.

     10:30am  I went to Clair's and nope, no beads there either. No beads anywhere. They told me there was a Michael's nearby, but I don't feel like walking over there.

     10:53am  Ha, this guy just stopped and talked to me. He said, "Hey, what's up with you?" I told him my shit, but he wouldn't listen to me. He just couldn't stop interrupting me. I told him, "You know what man, I really hate wasting my time. I suggest you learn to listen." I walked off. He says, "Oh, you're saying talking to me is a waste of your time?" I looked back and told him, "That is exactly what I am saying." He asked me, "Well, then why did you stop and talk to me?" I told him, "Umm, you got my attention first, remember? Then, I saw how ignorant you were, so now I'm walking off. See how that works?"

                     I had gone back to get some water. I'm going to go eat this other taco and smoke a cigarette.

                     Most people in the mall are ignorant.

     11:14am  I walked all around Ingram Park Mall. I did it just for the purpose of having people see me at the mall.

                     Michael's is over here by Best Buy. I'm walking all the way over there.

     11:25am  I am walking up to Michael's.

     11:30am  Damnit, they only have a big bag of beads for like six dollars. I just need ten of them.

     11:38am  I'm going to go in Best Buy and check out the digital cameras.

     12:32pm  Man, I had a long-ass session with this one guy at Best Buy. I walked out and immediately offered this kid, "Hey, you wanna smoke a bowl?" I started talking to him. He was a Krishna kid. He had ADD. Dude, he listened the hell out of me. He didn't interrupt me one time. He nodded and agreed with everything I said. He told me, "It was awesome that I met you. Things happen for a reason. I was having a really bad day." I smiled and told him, "I am always glad to be of service." Wow, he's a believer.

                     I even told that kid my head injuries story.

                     Everybody probably thinks I am crazy because I am talking into my tape recorder right now . . . just like I want them to.

     12:58pm  I just came up to this big massage machine.

 

                    It has a big tank with water spraying everywhere in there. They close the water tight lid and you stay completely dry and clothed as the water jets hit you. They charge seven dollars for five minutes. Eight minutes for ten dollars. Fifteen minutes for seventeen and the Ultimate Massage, twenty minutes for twenty dollars. Ha, military get extra minutes. Oh my god. Damn, screw that.

                    It's crazy-looking though. I'm going to take a picture of it.

                    I should try and tell this girl my story and see if she'll give me a free massage.

     1:10pm  Harout and friends are hooking me up with a cigarette and listening to my story here at the mall entrance. Payment for the interesting story. Thanks a lot. Oh yeah! Guess where they work in the mall. They work in a jewelry store! That's so perfect! Badass, he gave me a whole cigarette. Oh shit, he gave me the whole pack.

                    That's awesome. The spirits got my back.

                    Dude, I went back to get one of the ladies who worked at the store's email address. She told me, "You really made my day. Thanks, it was really nice meeting you."

                    I'm going to do it.

                    I'm having a great Saturday!

                    Man, those two people from the jewelry store agreed with everything I told them. Especially about the marijuana. They work in a jewelry store! How ironic is that? That one dude gave me the rest of his cigarettes.

     1:44pm  Frank was nice enough to let me borrow his cellphone so I could call Tyrell about the webpage. I appreciate it, Frank.

     1:48pm  I got three cigarettes left from those cigarettes that dude gave me. I don't want to smoke them, so I'm going to give them away. I'm going to go, "Anybody want a free cigarette?" I'm going to go ask these bus drivers over here.

     2:03pm  Dude, I got through a damn good presentation with this guy at the transfer center. I told him almost my entire story. He was all, "I got twenty minutes left." I told him my whole odyssey story. I stopped at the spirits, though.

     2:37pm  I just stopped and talked to these two brothers. What were your names? Ryan and Ed. I told them my story. I blew their minds. Hopefully they'll tell their friends.

     2:50pm  I went up to this bus driver. He opened a soda on the bus. He was running a little early. I walked up to him and said, "Hey, no food or drink on the bus!" He laughed. I told him, "I was just joking."

     2:59pm  I asked Denise, who I've talked to before for a cigarette and she hooked me up. I appreciate it. She looked at me and said, "You wanna cigarette?" I got a light, thanks anyway.

     3:00pm  That's awesome. They all know me at the transfer center here at the hospital. Denise offered me the cigarette and I asked her, "Have you hooked me up before?" She told me yeah.

                   I had a picture taken of me at the hospital.  

     3:04pm  These two girls walked by and looked at me and one said, "Hey, I remember you. I met you downtown the other night." Liz and Melanie. I didn't meet Melanie, did I? No. Liz was with some gay dudes last time.

     3:17pm  I forgot to tell you I'm on the 534 headed to North Star Mall. I'm going to ride out to Braesview. I just told all these kids in the back my story. Traffic was heavy so I had time to kill. I was trying to educate the kids.

                   Oh yeah, one of those kids told me his email address was scammer@aol.com. I told him, "Man, I don't believe that shit. Like that name wasn't taken. That's bullshit.

                   Look how many idiots are on AOL. No wonder it's #1.

     3:44pm  I just got to North Star Mall. I'm hungry. I'm going to go to Sea Island across the street and see if they'll hook me up.

     3:49pm  I changed my mind about Sea Island. There's a bunch of people in there. It's rush hour almost. Traffic is a mess. Anyway, I'm going to walk into the mall and go to the food court. I'm sure I'll score some food there. Somebody will hook me up. Hehe, everybody thinks I'm crazy because I'm talking into my recorder.

                  I'm going to try and borrow someone's cellphone and call up Tyrell again.

     3:52pm  Sarah is hooking me up with a cigarette outside the mall. I appreciate it, Sarah.

     3:57pm  I had a great presentation with the girl who gave me the cigarette. Got her email address. It's lilith13@yahoo.com.

     4:03pm  I'm going to walk into North Star Mall and get known here. Get my face seen. And my crazy walking stick.

                   And my rainbow beanie.

                   And my scarf.

     4:05pm  I had a good presentation at the Glamour Shots place. I talked to this one girl there. She wasn't willing to listen to my story but I got her email address.

                   I saw some guy walking with a cellphone. I'm going to go around and catch up to him and ask him if I can use his phone. I'll say, "Can you spare any weekend minutes on your cellphone?"

                   He told me no. He said, "Actually, I am out of minutes." Bullshit. There's weekend minutes.

     4:17pm  I just went into the Discover store. This guy comments to me, "Hey, nice walking stick." I told him my ideas and stuff. He interrupted me every chance he got. At the end I told him, "You know what man. I would like to point out how you are right now proving me right about everything. You didn't let me finish." I just walked off. I should have asked him, "Have you always been this ignorant?" I just told him, "Ignorance is bliss," and walked off.

                   Dude, it's the Discovery store. They should know better.

     4:20pm  I just told Stephanie and her friend my story. She gave me a bite of her pretzel. Mmmm, gooood. I didn't even ask her for it.

                   I'm going to go to that store The Sharper Image and see what kinds of cool gadgets they have there.

                   Some guy told me, "You ride the bus? You don't walk everywhere?" I told him, "Hey, would you rather walk up the stairs or ride the elevator?"

     4:47pm  What was your name again? Ramajan at Shlotsky's is proving me right. Thanks a lot, brother.

                   Sweet, scored at the Schlotzkys, just like I called it.

     5:05pm  I came outside to see if I could find a snipe or something, but Maria hooked me up with a cigarette. I appreciate it, sister.

                   Cool, Maria's giving me another one. She listened to my whole story. I appreciate it.

     5:21pm  Man, I had a great presentation with that girl outside. During my after-meal smoke. She even gave me another one. She listened to my whole story.

                   Oh yeah, I ran into Luis. Chasity's old friend who used to work at Macy's with her. This gay dude. I see him and go, "Hey, what's up?" I gave him a big hug. He told me, "Hey, it's good to see you. You look happy." He wouldn't listen to my story, though. He said, "Actually, I'm in a hurry." I'm going to go downstairs to Macy's and make myself known some more.

                   While I was smoking a cigarette I noticed two cops parked out there. I'm going to go downstairs and walk in front of their cars.

     5:27pm  Tim is hooking me up with a cigarette. I appreciate it, bro.

                   I tried telling this one lady at the bus stop my story, but her bus came. The #4.

                   Remember to change my scriptage, "Second, you have ignorance. People are too set in their old-fashioned, lazy ways, deathly afraid of change, even if it's for the better. They won't even listen to you . . . or they interrupt you and don't let you finish." Add that to the end.

                   Or they interrupt you and make you lose your train of thought.

     6:09pm  I saw this old dude across the street honking and all pissed off. He was waving his hands in the air. I gave him the finger.

                   Damn, the 534 is taking a long time to get here.

                   I see a bus down the way stopped and there's cars going around it. I'm hoping it's the 534. I don't know why it's just sitting there, though.

     6:11pm  The 534. It's about damn time.

     6:37pm  I just got off on Vance Jackson and Wurzbach. I've decided I'm going to walk like a mile to the library on Vance Jackson, close to Huebner. I'll go check my email. I can send that Tyrell dude an email saying, "Hey, your phone doesn't work."

     6:55pm  The library is closed. That sucks. Hmm, let me check the 610 schedule. I think I missed the last bus back close to my mom's.

                   That last bus goes to Medical Center at 7:15pm. There ain't no way in hell I'm catching that bus. I don't know what I'll do. Maybe I'll walk up to Medical Center and walk around. I'll collect Marlboro Miles.

     6:58pm  I'm going to go down Orsinger Road. This is the road I got hit on. My second head injury in 2000. I wish I had a cigarette. I could chill out and smoke. Umm, I was smoking a cigarette last time. That's not going to scare me though. I'm going to walk around the block and see what happens.

                   Maybe I'll get a flashback or something.

                    I just got an idea. I'm going to walk around in the Waters of Elm Creek Apartments. These new apartments they built here. I'm going to see if I can talk to anybody in there.

                    I ended up in the apartments on the other side, right next to Waters of Elm Creek. I forgot the name.

     7:12pm  I got to my old bus stop.

 

                   When I used to live across the street with Chasity. The bus stop they built for me. I'll take a picture of it. It's dark right now. I don't know if you'll be able to see it. I even requested a trashcan for it.

                   I am going to email Tyrell and tell him, "You know man, seeing as how you are a self-proclaimed hacker and I am giving you my mom's credit card number, and also seeing as how I am not a dumbass, wouldn't it be normal of me to worry about you phishing me? I would like to be there whenever you make the transaction. I'm not even sure about it. Even if he's cool at first, what's to stop him from taking any more money out of my mom's card? I don't know about this whole thing.

                   I don't know when the 522 comes, but I'll wait for it. I saw one going the other direction. Hopefully, it's not the last one. It's still early. It's like 7:20pm.

                   It's Saturday. It should run.

     7:25pm  I am standing here waiting for the bus. To keep myself busy I started banging of the deck here and singing that song Whistling in the Dark, by They Might Be Giants. I got it stuck in my head for some reason. Download it and check it out. There's only one thing that I know how to do well and I've often been told that you only can do what you know how to do well and that's be you, be like yourself, be like you are, and though I'm having a wonderful time I would rather be whistling in the dark.  Whistling in the dark.  There's only one thing that I like and that is whistling in the dark.

     7:26pm  This cop pulled over some guy in front of me.

                   That cop just walked up to the other car, told them something and got back in his car and left. Back to the substation on Prue by West.

                   I see somebody walking up to the bus stop. I'm going to ask him if he wants to smoke a bowl.

                   Some white kid who just walked by. I told him, "Wanna smoke a bowl?" He shook his head no and told me thanks anyway. I told him, "Just in case."

                   I would even volunteer to have a twenty four hour tap on me. A microphone on me at all times. Every conversation I had. It'd be awesome. It'd be legendary.

                   Cool, there's the bus. Yeah, I'm going to write this guy a badass email telling him I am not willing to compromise my mother's credit. Here it is:

From: Victor Antonio [mailto:rightprotect@linuxmail.org]
Sent: Sunday, February 01, 2004 12:27 PM
To: Tyrell
Subject: VICTOR

What's up dude,
     Hey I got my mom's credit card info, but am having second thoughts. Seeing as how you are a self-proclaimed hacker and I'd be providing you with my mother's credit card information, as well as I've only known you for a couple hours(not to mention, I'm not a dumbass), It wouldn't be so crazy for me to have some pre-conceived doubt. Is there any other way to transfer the money without a credit card? Money order or something? I don't care how long it takes. I cannot compromise my mothers credit. That's all she cares about, money.
     It doesn't seem like I'll be leaving on the 2nd as I had thought.
I've got all the time in the world. Get back to me, bro.

- Victor Antonio

     7:55pm  Cory hooked me up with a cigarette outside of West. Thanks, brother..

     8:14pm  I had an awesome presentation with the guy outside at West! In the end he had to go back to work. He told me, "It was nice meeting you." He shook my hand and everything. I told him to tell his friend and he said, "I will."

                   This big truck pulled up that had a lot of room. I asked them, "Hey, can I get a ride to Babcock? I'll just hop in the back." He told me no and took off. Prick.

     8:41pm  I just got out of West. I went up to the security guard and asked, "Hey man, can I use the phone?" He asks me, "Who do you gotta call?" I told him, "My mom, to see if she'll give me a ride." He let me use the phone! Badass. They're not supposed to let people use the phone. I told him my story and he loved it. Everybody does.

                  Haha, I'm going to be famous!

     9:00pm  Hmm, my brother told me my mom was on her way to get me, but she hasn't gotten here yet. I hope she didn't come when I was telling the security guard my story. I'm going to go use the phone and call her again.

                   That might be her right there. Lemme see. Yeah, it's my mom. Cool, I'm going to go get a ride.

Next day..