020524

 2-5-24

7:46am  I just switched out the batteries on my voice recorder.  

Tita:  We are looking at the log of what you did yesterday.  I have no qualms with it I am just saying that you linked to Psychology Today in regards to synchronicities.

Victor:  When I googled synchronicities that is the first thing that came up.  Umm, so as not to waste my time and I can update it later, I went with the first thing that came up that went well with the content.  It's just a start to explore more into it.

Tita:  But they can look it up themselves.  There really is no value in you putting any link, because most people know what synchronicities are.  

Victor:  You act like you could never use a memory-refresh.

Tita:  Yeah, you got angry because I said that your blog is geared towards white, normal people.  

Victor:  Nothing could be further away from the truth, liar.  Why is my simple shit so confusing to you?  My blog is intended for every single person in our world, regardless of what color they are.  I really wish you would get off your generalization horse...and put it so sleep(horsepital joke). 

Victor:  It's great, raw and honest entertainment that even the enlightened will enjoy reading.  If they are truly enlightened they will see my example and say, "This guy is right!  He is the one!  He SHOULD BE telling the idiots what he's telling them."

Tita:  Again, you are assuming that the normies aren't awakened yet.

Victor:  No safer bet could I ever make than that.  There is plenty to support how they are still asleep and possessed by evil.

Tita:  Okay, then it's the slave-class you are addressing?  You are talking to all the slaves to wake them up, otherwise they wouldn't need a messenger?  You are not talking to the enlightened, you are talking to the stupid normies?  The white slaves, I think is your target audience.

Victor:  Are you dumb?  How many times do I have to spell it out for you THAT MY TARGET AUDIENCE IS EVERY SINGLE PERSON IN OUR WORLD!  Anybody, no matter what race they belong to, no matter what language they speak, CAN RELATE TO MY TRUE STORY.

NOT JUST WHITE PEOPLE!  

NOT JUST HOMELESS PEOPLE!

I really can't take all of the credit.  My blog IS NOT ALL MY FAULT!  

MY BLOG IS A COLLABORATION OF TRUE OPINIONS THAT I HAVE COLLECTED.  

I would have ZERO substantial blog-content IF IT WEREN'T FOR OTHER PEOPLE and their opinions!  

I am trying my damndest to be THE FOCAL POINT THAT WE NEED TO THRIVE!

Tita:  I mean, I don't see a lot of black people on here.  

Victor:   What you just said would be a lot more truthful IF YOU HAD READ MY WHOLE BLOG BEFORE YOU DECIDE TO JUDGE IT.  You remind me of Charlie.

Tita:  Why does it get you so angry?  Why does it piss you off?

Victor:  If you don't know me by now...In fact, it's somewhat relieving when you piss me off.  It gives me a great reason to do something else, something more important.

Tita:  That's why I was so suspicious and surprised that you were so nice this morning wanting to show me what work you had done to your blog while I was asleep.  You are usually not nice in the mornings.

Victor:  Usually because when I hear you waking up I am extremely focused and don't want to be interrupted, but I know the end of my peace is near.  THAT'S THE REAL REASON I ALWAYS DO THE DISHES IN THE MORNING!  SO YOU CAN'T HOLD THAT AGAINST ME AND I IMPROVE MY CHANCES OF A PEACEFUL AND PRODUCTIVE ONLINE SESSION.  Do you still think I am playing games?  I am working here!

In all actuality this morning I was testing you to see how you would hit the ball back.  I wanted to check if you had learned anything about me yet, and that maybe you would hold back your snide remarks before vocalizing them, already.    

Hey, do you want to smoke some weed?

Tita:  No thank you, honey.

Victor:  DAMNIT!  YOU ARE SUPPOSED TO WANT TO SMOKE WEED!

Tita:  I thought you said it was not a pre-requisite anymore.  You used to call it that, but..

Victor:  You need to note my sarcasm.

Tita:  What?

Victor:  I was just kidding about the weed right now.

Tita:  When you travel do you feel uncomfortable around people who don't smoke weed?  Do you feel they are square or stupid or unenlightened because they don't smoke pot?  

Victor:  I don't make judgements that quick about people.  

Tita:  But, do you feel uncomfortable around them knowing they don't smoke?

Victor:  Nope, not just for that.  Them not smoking does not phase me one bit.

Tita:  Because you are high and they are not?  Do you judge them for not smoking?

Victor:  Nope, well, I guess partly usually, but it's really because I can't possibly know what they know so I am not going to assume anything with so little to go on. 

You should try that sometime.  :P

Tita:  So honey, what did you want to share with me?  

Victor:  I already did.  See, you pay little attention to me.  You are always too busy not thinking before you speak.

Tita:  So what else have you been doing this morning?

Victor:  That's it.

Tita:  Do a play by play.  What time did you get up?  

Victor:  Five.  

Tita:  So you slept five hours.  I went to bed at two, but I did sleep like twelve hours the day before.  So that's all you did?  It took you that long?

Victor:  No, I also spent some time adding a lot of my chatlogs, even one from decades ago.

Tita:  And the purpose of adding the logs is to illustrate what?

Victor:  How I have been and still am trying, doing.

Tita:  Trying to bring world peace to people?

Victor:  Yup, hopefully it will show people, make them think the truth, "Hey, this guy hasn't just been bumming his whole life.  He has been hard at work being a volunteer and his stuff is probably worth reading.  Maybe it might be interesting enough to tell other people about.  Hmmmmm."

That is what I have been actively envisioning.  WITH SHARED VISION THERE ARE GREAT CERTANTIES!

Tita:  Well, wouldn't you say that with the exception of women derailing you, that that was all you did, spread the word?  It is only when you were with women, and making money for them, or currying their favor, that was the only time you weren't working for peace?  Like the two years with Carol, you stopped your mission while you were with her.  With Tracee too.  You quit your mission because you were at "her beck and call."

Victor:  STFU with your assumptions, you insecure little girl!  I had already "quit" my mission when I was with Tracee.  Get your timelines right.  

With Carol I was hoping my mission would advance with her.  We had some great times together, especially when we hit the road together.  She showed me Ventura, Santa Barbara, all over California.  I lived at a real life hippie commune with Carol (Black Bear Ranch)!  Carol is a magical person and I will always LOVE her, regardless, platonically.  

Stop comparing yourself to my exes unless you want to join their category!  

        THERE ARE DAMN GOOD REASONS WHY THEY ARE IN MY PAST AND YOU ARE IN MY PRESENT!

With Carol(and you), I had always told myself that I wouldn't mind if a girl is overweight, because if she were to commit herself, with me, and walk with me, she would not be overweight much longer.  With Carol I had real hope.  

        She was a peace-loving hippie with dreadlocks that smoked weed and was adept at scamming the system!  CAN YOU SAY RIGHT UP MY ALLEY?  I saw Carol as a fellow revolutionary!  Who cares if she was older than me, I saw the child in her heart!  Carol is ageless!  

But, when I finally beheld how lazy she was, that's when I started having second thoughts.  

Tita:  It took you two years to realize she was lazy?  

Victor:  We were having fun, we were traveling, we were having adventures, we were scamming receipts and flying signs!  We were being free together!  IT WAS GREAT!

But, she didn't commit fully and walk the walk with me, A LOT LIKE YOU ARE NOT!

Tita:  But why couldn't you do that without sex?  Why do you think you had to have sex with a girl?

Victor:  What makes you think I had to have sex?  You weren't there.  I wasn't raped.

Tita:  Well, I am asking?

Victor:  Bullshit, you are assuming and implying LIKE YOU ALWAYS DO.

Tita:  Why couldn't you have a platonic relationship with her, do you think?

Victor:  She fell in love with me, remember?  She's an ex.

Tita:  Were you in love with her?

Victor:  Not as much.  Remember, I was still devoted to my mission.

Tita:  So you were faking it for two years?

Victor:  Fuck you, I made Carol aware of my prior commitment from the start.  JUST LIKE YOU!  Now you're going to insult me with snide rhetorical questions?!  

Tita:  That's not snide!

Victor:  THAT IS SNIDE AS FUCK!  YOU CAN'T GET ANY MORE SNIDE THAN THAT!

Tita:  That's totally direct.

Victor:  Snide doesn't mean indirect, doofus.  Snide means fucking malicious, meant to offend.  I thought you graduated high school.

Tita:  How is that malicious?

Victor:  Can't your Berkeley slave-trained brain realize how the questions you ask me can be construed as insulting?  Just think about it!

Tita:  Let me think about it.

Victor:  You have my complete permission, proceed.

Tita:  I mean, I don't know why it took you two years to realize that she wasn't your partner.

Victor:  Duh, it's because in those two years she was my partner!  I cared about her a lot!  I still do and always will!  She, like you has secured a permanent place in my heart.  

        I WISH I COULD GIVE CAROL COOK  A GREAT BIG BEAR HUG RIGHT NOW!  

THAT IN NO WAY MEANS I WANT TO UPROOT MY LIFE WITH YOU TO TRY AGAIN WITH HER!

Tita:  You were distracted by sex.

Victor:  You can't possibly know what was going on in my head, unless I tell you and you trust me!  Do you see how that works?  STFU up with what you think is true that's not at all!

Tita:  But I am not.

Victor(yelling):  YOU ARE STATING SOMETHING AS FACT THAT IS NOT!

Tita:  I made a mistake, sorry.  I am guessing because you are not providing the answer.  You are saying you were having fun by going on adventures and scamming people?

Victor:  No!  See how you just make shit up as you wished it was?  WE NEVER SCAMMED PEOPLE!  WE SCAMMED THE SYSTEM THAT CAN EASILY AFFORD THE WRITE-OFFS!  AND WE GOT AWAY WITH IT, THUS POINTING OUT OUR SYSTEM'S MALLEABILITY!  I can't think of much that's more revolutionary than that.

Tita:  So it took you two whole years to realize that she was too lazy?

Victor:  I was born to walk and stay active.  Life with Carol was too easy, too fun, too distracting from my end-goals.  I held out with a lot of hope for Carol.  I was a loyal partner while we were together.  I diligently manifest the money to bail her out of jail when she got arrested at the Rainbow Gathering in Steamboat Springs, and shipped back to Boulder.  I flew a sign that said NEED HELP BAILING GIRLFRIEND OUT OF JAIL.  In no-time I had five hundred bucks and I even secured a ride straight to Boulder from the gathering.  I was a man of my word with Carol.

Tita:  But she was too lazy to help you with your tasks, and that's why you lost two years of your project?

Victor:  Are you fucking dumb?  Don't you see how every little thing in life happens for a definite reason, even the bad stuff?  I DON'T REGRET ANYTHING!  

Tita:  Well, she does, obviously.  She didn't want to walk down memory lane when you recently reconnected, and talk about how wonderful your adventures were.  

Victor:  That is out of my control, so how is that pertinent at all? 

Tita:  I am just saying that she has a different perspective than you do.  She doesn't think it was fun.  She thinks she is crazy and unhealthy. 

Victor:  YOU DO NOT KNOW WHAT YOU ARE TALKING ABOUT BECAUSE YOU HAVEN'T COMMUNICATED WITH HER AT ALL.

Tita:  I saw in the text:  "I am much healthier now, I am much more sane, physically and mentally.  Which implies that she was not physically and mentally healthy before when you guys were together.  How did you apologize to her again?  "I am sorry if I am a bad reminder of the past."  That's why she's not gung-ho about it.  she thought she was loony before.  So did your mom.  Your mom thinks all of your girlfriends are, she doesn't know why you picked them.  I don't either.  

Actually, I do.  You said that you took what came, and the uglier, the more needy, the desperate, the better.  

Victor:  I NEVER FUCKING SAID THAT!  QUIT PUTTING WORDS IN MY MOUTH!  You are making assumptions again.  Just stop.  Just shut up already.  You are not helping at all right now.  

Tita:  I am just thinking out loud.

Victor:  Please don't, for me.  Don't vocalize anything right now.

Tita:  Okay, that's helpful.

Victor:  I am setting my stopwatch.

Tita:  So honey, do you still want to swap stories?

Victor:  No.  

Tita:  So you tricked me?

Victor:  No, you tricked me by interrupting my story with your bitchy snide comments.  Since you don't want to listen to me, don't be surprised I don't want to listen to you.  Do you not see the firm logic in that?

Tita:  I did listen to you.  You shared that page you just made about the synchronicities with the Bill Murray movie we watched last night.  

Victor:  I would rather do something else than to listen to you now.  Please close the door.  From the other side.

Tita:  What, honey?

Victor:  Due to your snide comments and lies of granting me silence, I would rather stop giving you any attention and focus on my blog, which I LOVE more in this moment.  

Tita:  But you can do both, multitask.

Victor:  I can only do one, if I want, if I so choose.  With all due respect, fuck off and let me be in peace.

        I am going to ignore you now with your stupid insults.