032623

Modesto, CA 

Sunday March 26, 2023

     Today was an awesome day!   Last night I got hard at work cutting cardboard and making a sign.  One side says HOOK A BROTHER UP and the other side says SMOKE A BROTHER OUT.  I flew this all the time when I lived in Weed, CA, back when I had my old website.

     So I got this brilliant idea.  I've never considered flying my sign to public here in the town that I live in because my girlfriend has brothers who live in this town and would recognize me.   Well, since their father died a couple of years ago my girlfriend's siblings have had zero contact with her, as if she had died along with her father.  

     Well, now that I have this worthy blog and have something great to offer people again I decided I didn't care if her brothers saw me.  Hell, I hope they do so I can try and give them my blog.  

     So last night I made an awesome, ultra legible sign that I can fly to traffic at the stoplights.  After I was done making it I contemplated what I would do if approached by police.  I thought it would be a smart move to go to the police station first, ask for the highest ranking officer at the time and hand them the following letter and just stay quiet and let him/her read it.  I wrote the rough draft in the morning and let it evolve during the day until it said exactly what I wanted to say:

"Hello, my name is Victor Antonio Gruber,

Since around 2000 I have been a journalist peace activist.  I used to be a long-distance walker and have been all over the United States working my activism and making a great impression on people, giving them hope.  There have even been some suicidal people who have changed their minds after listening to my story.  

I live on Bullshit Drive here in town with my girlfriend.  

I have an ad-free, non-religous blog that I would like to share with everyone.  

I used to have a website which I passed out to people by playing The Undercover Bum.  

I fly a sign to traffic like homeless people do.  One side of my sign says HOOK A BROTHER UP and the other side says SMOKE A BROTHER OUT.  Technically, legally, both sides could be left to interpretation.  I flip it around at the stoplights and make everyone laugh.  My theatrics make people feel good and they hook me up and smoke me out, sometimes.  Anytime anyone does I will offer them a little slip of paper with my blog address. Hell, I'll offer one to anyone with their window open.  "It's free!  It's not religious, I promise!"

 

If there is a legal issue with me accepting monetary donations this way and using this as a fundraiser, I just won't accept any money and just offer my free blog to people.

Even though it's quite rude to deny a gift.  But me telling them no thanks check out my blog, is okay with me.

In the end I am doing no wrong this way and I invite you to come watch.  

So how about it?  Do I have your permission?

I started this blog on the 13th of March and it is spreading like wildfire on the internet right now.  My true story is going to explode soon and be everywhere.  

Imagine how interesting this chapter in my blog will be if you tell me yes and help me.  

It will be interesting either way.

Can you recommend a spot?"

     I was going to say, "I am only trying to exercise what little rights we have left."    

     What I was really wanting was a signed permission slip from the head officer that I could show to any other pigs if they came over to me and started oinking for no good reason.  I want to officialize my activism.  I am making sure all of my bases are covered.  

     When I woke up this morning I didn't do the dishes and then jump on the laptop to have some computer time before my missus wakes up, like I usually do.  I had to finish my sign.  It needed more coloring in and I wanted to laminate it and make it weatherproof.  I also needed some printouts made.  I wanted to print just one copy of that letter I had composed.  I also needed to get a lot of sheets of paper filled up with havethesejokes.blog which I could cut out with scissors so I could distribute my meme.

     I went to Office Max and got like thirty sheets and cut one sheet's worth right there inside the Office Max with a little pair of scissors from the register.  When I was done I was sure to give one to the cashier my blog before I walked out.  She had this look of incredulity, but she accepted it.

     At the hardware store next door I went and grabbed a roll of tape and went to stand in line.  There were like six or seven people in front of me.  I struck up a conversation with the guy in front of me. I told him, "I was going to ask everyone if they minded if I cut because I only had one thing, but most everyone else has only one thing too so forget it."   The guy responded saying, "Yeah, they should have self checkouts."  I said, "Wouldn't it be funny if they just had mirrors at the self check outs?"  He laughed so I offered him my blog but he refused it.

     I drove home and my girl helped me cut some more.  I had like three sheets worth' of little papers in a quart size Ziploc.  When we were ready to leave I couldn't find it, so I just grabbed some more sheets and the scissors and went to the car where my girl and our cute puppies were waiting for me.  

     First we went to the police station downtown, but it was closed to the public, it's Sunday.  I thought we could just find an officer somewhere I could give my note to instead.  We circled the block a couple of times and just said screw it.  I wanted to fly my sign today, regardless.     

     We drove to the busiest intersection in town and parked in the Jack in the Box parking lot, right next to the stoplight.  I was dressed in jeans, a long john long sleeve shirt, and my classic WORLD PEACE THROUGH MARIJUANA shirt that's pretty worn and has a hole in the right armpit.  I was also wearing the balaclava my girl knit for me.  I looked all bummy, hehe.  I'm such a good illusion.

     I had so much fun making people smile and passing out my blog.   A lot of people would immediately roll down their windows for me and accept it when they saw me mouth the word free. I would also be sure to tell them I was a gonzo journalist(which I am), to get them interested.  

      A lot of other people actually ignored me and tried to roll up their window when I would try to offer it.  When that happened I would yell at the top of my lungs, "Man, NOBODY wants world peace!  Poor kids!  That's right, be afraid!  Good little slave!"  

     

     I have fun with it.  Years of practice.

     Within half an hour I already had five bucks and a dank pre-roll joint.   I was wearing a beaming smile on my face the whole time.  Some guy even drove by and screamed STAY POSITIVE!  I yelled back, "That's the only way I know how to be!"   To the nice open-minded people who accepted my site I would yell, "I'm an undercover bum!"  They got me.  

     I even had some guy yell, "Get a job!"  Little does he know I was doing my job by having him see me.

     After the nice angel of a girl gave me that dank joint I wanted to light it and smoke it, but I didn't have a lighter.  I walked over to my girlfriend, my support vehicle and asked her if there was one in the car.  She said no and I told her to hold on, that I would get it lit and come back and smoke it with her.  There were like three cars in the drive through, but none of the drivers responded to my need-a-lighter hand gestures I was was making.  

     I went to the stoplight and signaled a car that had just pulled up and the nice guy handed me a refillable butane lighter and told me to keep it!  Do you see how things work out for me?   

     I had a very productive day spamming for peace like a bum.  No police involvement, but I had the note in my back pocket in case I was approached.  I only spent a little over an hour passing out my blog there.

     I wish someone would sign my new guestbook already.   

     

     Oh yeah, and at the end I grabbed a big handful of little papers and walked back to the spot by the light.  In front of the whole row of cars, I slowly walked back obviously purposely letting all the little papers slip out onto the grass.  Every single bum that flies a sign on that corner will get my blog address now.  Or maybe the people in the cars in line at the light will be curious and return to get one.  

     I hope I get a ticket for littering for peace and have the cops read my blog, hehe.  It's worth it.

     Tomorrow I'm going to do something different to spread the word.  It might just be way more effective than bumming it how I do.  I'll let you know eventually.  It's a genius idea.

3-28  Since it went so smoothly flying my sign, I have decided to not go to the cop shop and talk to the boss hog.  At least not yet.  I want to saturate this town with my presence first, and then go talk to the head pig.  I hope he doesn't squeal on me, lol.  Actually,  that's exactly what I want him to do.   

Tell Biden, for all I care.  It's not like his dumbass will understand me anyway.

          

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