040107

                                                                                                                                     Portland, OR

Sunday April 1, 2007

     10:36am  April Fool's Day. I woke up at nine, got a good night's sleep. The first thing I did was do laundry. I got two bucks from the prostitute last night, hehe. She gave me a kiss on the cheek and everything. Anyway, I was walking down over by 24th Avenue on Alberta and I saw this homeless guy Jake standing in front of the coffee shop. He came over across the street and gave him a little pastry. Well, he started having a seizure! We tried to calm him down. People called 911. He was able to contain himself and he just got up and walked off. He doesn't want to go to the hospital.

     10:53am  Laundry's in.

     4:35pm  I am leaving the house. Today is April Fools. I'm going to go walk to Hawthorne. I don't know, the sun's going to go down soon. I'm going to go fly my sign anyway. Or I'll just walk around and find people to help me spread the word. I took an awesome shower at the house. Oh yeah, I was at the house all day today cleaning. Sorry I didn't log. I cleaned that bathroom perfect. I cleaned it like a woman. It was filthy when I started. I got an old t-shirt and scraped the grout with it. I did the whole wall. Mildew everywhere. I did the whole grid of tiles, each wall. I scrubbed it down good. It was dirty as hell when I started. I should have taken before and after pictures. There was all this soap scum caked into the shower curtain. I cleaned it completely. I even scrubbed the sink and the toilet. Everything is clean. I hope they appreciate it.

                   I'll tell them, "Just call it work trade. I keep the house spotless."

     4:45pm  I'm walking down 33rd. Passing Grant Park right now. It's cool, it closes at 12:01am.

     5:04pm  Wes hooked me up with a cigarette at Broadway and 23rd. I appreciate it. He is riding a bike. I appreciate it, brother. Everybody gets credit, thanks.

     5:14pm  I had a badass presentation with that kid Wes right now. Hell yeah. He just rode up on a bike and I asked him for a cigarette. He stopped, came back and said, "Yeah, sure."

     5:51pm  I ended up on 39th Avenue over by some highway. All the good signing spots are taken by bums on the ramps. I'm just going to keep walking 39th. Actually, I am looking for Hawthorne. I have been told to go there by so many people. I'm going to go tell my story there.

     6:09pm  I had a great presentation with Rain right now on the corner of 39th and Multnomah Street. Awesome. This girl walking by. A pretty girl.

     6:14pm  Right now I was walking down the street. NE Glisan. This lady was power-washing her steps. She stopped when I walked by and I hit her up for my story. She didn't have time, but she said, "I saw you with your sign, though." I went, "Really? Will you check out my webpage?" I handed it to her.

     6:45pm  I came to the bus stop right here. Right next to this turnaround circle. Next to the golden Joan of Arc statue. NE Glisan and 39th, I think. I'm just standing here at the bus stop next to this rotunda thing. I'm flying my sign as the cars stop at the stop sign. I'm going to go walk to the light down here.

     6:51pm  I flew my sign at Burnside a little bit. I'm going to keep walking down 39th.

     7:05pm  I came to the Shell station and bought me an apple pie and Charles hooked me up with a cigarette. I appreciate it, brother. Everybody gets credit, thanks.

     7:18pm  Be sure to look up, what was that book you just mentioned? You don't remember that book you just told me about? Alright.

                      The Left Behind Series. Some Christian stuff.

     7:21pm  I had stopped at the Shell at Hawthorne and bought me a pie. I am going to walk to Hawthorne now.

     7:31pm  I just hit Hawthorne and took a right. I asked these kids which way was cool, right or left. They told me to take a right.

     7:42pm  Candida me esta dando comida en qual taqueria es esta? Todo el mundo recibe credito, gracias.

     7:43pm  Sweet, scored at the taqueria. Hell yeah, I was friggin' hungry.

                   The taqueria's name was Cha Cha Cha.

     8:56pm  I was at the Plaid Pantry and I ran into some guy named Michael. I hit him up for my story and asked him if he wanted to smoke some cheap trim with me. We walked to some park nearby and smoked. We made a spliff and scraped some resin. I'm walking back now. I'm going to go back home.

     8:59pm  Francis walked by the Revente Pizza on Hawthorne and he hooked me up with a cigarette. I appreciate it, brother. Everybody gets credit, thanks.

     9:24pm  I am waiting at the 14 bus stop on Hawthorne and SE 34th Avenue. I wonder if the driver will give me a courtesy ride.

     9:26pm  The guy driving the 14 let me on.

     9:36pm  I was walking down Hawthorne. These two girls were walking and when they passed me up I went, "Excuse me." One girl said, "Man, this is like the tenth time we've seen you today." They wouldn't listen to my story though. Hell yeah, I'm everywhere.

     9:43pm  Earlier I got on the wrong bus, the 14 going in the wrong direction. I got off and walked back to 39th and the 75 guy gave me a ride. Cool. Ask and thou shall receive. The rules haven't changed.

     10:17pm  I am already home.

Next day..