5-19-23
4:12pm What a magical day I had today. I was out there so hardcore today making my presence known in Modesto. I was out getting my exercise good today. Giving the peace sign to all the cars. Waiting at the stoplights with my shirt and walking stick blowing my whistle. Let's see, today I walked to Century Center. I tried checking at Torii's for Danny, but it was closed, it was still early, nine thirty. I went to the smoke shop and I was positive I had given my blog to the guy insidem but wasn't sure. Oh yeah, before I left home I cut out a whole sheet's worth of havethesejokes.blogs. Once I was fully loaded I left. I brought a loaded bowl with me. We had just recently found Mauricio's(her dead brother) weed paraphernalia stash with two awesome pipes. A small smokeless one with a cap and a nice wooden one. I'll take pictures. So I've got the small smokeless one packed tight and in my pocket, ready to share. I am going to have a nice storytelling day. So I walked past Torii's, past the smokeshop, in front of the ice cream shop. I crossed the street and stared walking down Oakdale. I walked past the Exxon and eventually got to the 7-11 and posted up there. My verbiage has changed for attracting listeners. Now I start off with, "Hi, my name is Victor. I am a long distance walker and a journalist. I've been all over the country. If I offered you my really interesting, ad-free, non-religious blog, would you accept it?" I considered adding "about world peace through marijuana, but that might turn some people off right off the bat. Plus, it's kind of obvious with the shirt I am wearing.
I am also evolving on my scripting in my telemarketing that I'm doing. I'll be sure to elaborate when I type this up.
I had some good listeners today. First, my friend Chris, this nice pretty lady who I got to tell my story to, in between customers, was working. She called me sweetie. I bought a couple Arizona teas and went ouside and hung out by the trashcan smoking. It was a nice feeling being able to "loiter" there because Chris knew about my cause and won't run me off. Oh, and the next time a cop approaches me I'll tell them, "Nope, I've got a federal permit to be out here asking people if they'll listen to me. It's called The Constition. Or at least that's what my legal team recommended I tell you if ever approached, lol. And I'll be sure to add, "I have something in my pocket that looks like a Glock, but it's a squirt gun. That squirts pepper spray. There's nothing illegal about it and if you confiscate my property I'll just buy a new one."
Did I ever mention? Was it last night that I stopped and told my stories to this tweaker couple at the park when I was walking home? Oh yeah, I went to karaoke for the first time last night. I sung Ween's Piss Up a Rope, which I thought would be popular with all the drunk rednecks, but not that many people applauded. I had fun though. I wanna do a pretty Ween country song next. Like Help Me Scrape the Mucus Off My Brain.
Then I went to the 7-11. I was there for a while talking to this pretty black girl with tons of tattoos. She let me take a picture of her back where she has that quote by MLK.
She totally enjoyed my stories all the way through. Man, I am having so much fun reciting the note from the rich. I had so much storytelling at the 7-11. I feel like Jay from Jay and Silent Bob.
Oh yeah, I tried talking to this one Mexican lady who seemed really interested at first, but as soon as she found out I don't believe in God she turned her ears off. I even spoke Spanish to her. I started yelling at her. "Don't you see you are treating me the same way they treated Jesus!? Fucking hypocrite!" I even called her a good little slave. I made her get back out of her car. I should've told her, "Ha, I got you all riled up!" I told her, "I just want you to remember me. I am doing my job whether you accept my blog or not. I just don't want you to ever forget me."
Then I walked over to ROSS Dress for Less. It was epic what I did there. I had one iced tea in a sidepocket of my backpack and I was holding the the open one, which made it a little awkward I walked into Ross and first I went to the Loss-prevention guy, who had any empty shelf behind him, up front and told him, "Do you mind if i set my iced tea down here while I shop?" He wouldn't let me. He told me, "You can just hold it. We can't be responsible for your drink." I said okay and walked off and soon saw another empty shelf. I said loudly, "Oh, I'll just set it down here then." The dude opened his mouth to protest and I said, "I was just kidding, psych!" He didn't laugh and I walked off. I did a couple of laps and then approached the guy again and said, "I'm going to be completely honest with you. I didn't come in here to buy a thing. I just came in to show off my shirt and see who would smile at me so I could offer them my blog. I am a journalist, a long distance walker." He TOTALLY accepted my blog when I offered it to him. When I told him how many Chuck Norris jokes were on there he said, "Oh my God, I have to check this out."
I am telling people, "Share if you deem worthy," at the end and everybody tells me they will.
After that I left Ross and walked to and into SaveMart. I kind of did the same thing at SaveMart. I walked in holding my iced tea and I walked to the registers up front. I asked the lady at the counter if it was alright if I set my drink down up here so I could shop. She put it in a more secure spot so it won't fall over. Since she was being so nice to me I made sure she read my shirt and offered my blog and she totally accepted it! Then I went walking around the grocery store. I just did one lap. This other lady who had smiled at me accepted my blog over by the milk. If I ever get approached by management I'll tell them I'm just getting me exercise. I just wait for people to smile at me and I offer my blog. I am not doing anything wrong.
After I left the SaveMart I walked to the stoplight where Oakdale turns into El Vista at Scenic. I had a long wait for the light to change so I was sure to take my backpack off to show off my shirt to traffic. I started yelling, "Everybody look at me!"
When I crossed the street I saw this girl sitting down outside the A1 Smoke shop. As I walked closer I could tell she was reading my shirt and smiling at me. I thought hey, I'm gonna see if I can tell this girl my story. It ended up being a homeless person with messed up teeth, so you know what assumption I can safely make. I asked her if I could tell her my story and she said sure. Then I asked her if she minded going over to the shade nearby. She stood there and listened to me great. This tweaker girl listened to me soooo well. And she's smart too! She was nodding and understanding every single word I said. I am glad I got to tell her my stories. She seemed totally moved. I told her how I was going to make everything better for everybody soon. I gave her a big hug in the end.
In front of the donut shop I saw some cool-looking black dude getting into his car and about to leave with his son. Anytime I see people with children I always try to offer them my thing. He didn't understand what I was offering at first, but once he did he was all, "Sure!" He told me he was on Twitter and started telling me what other social media he was on. I told him I woudl see him on the other side. And in the end when he was about to drive off with his son I yelled, "I'm doing it for the kids!"
Then I walked by O Briens auto parts. I walked around inside for a little bit and then I went to the front desk and this guy offered to help me. I explained to him, "I'm going to be completely honest with you. I don't even own a car. I just came in here to see who would look at my shirt and smile. Will you accept my free blog?" He totally accepted it! When I told him about the Chuck Norris jokes he had this big grin on his face. I swear Chuck is totally selling my shit for me. I even texted people yesterday when I was telemarketing San Antonio numbers, "If you don't look at my blog Chuck Norris will come to your house and make you look at it."
After the auto parts place I walked into Gross-Out, Grocery Outlet. I went and did the rounds in there and had people look at me. At the end I remembered we needed eggs at home so I grabbed a dozen and went to go wait in line to pay. Since I just had a dozen eggs I stood there holding them and put them on the conveyer belt when there was room. I was sure to put a divider stick behind my eggs and the young couple behind me appreciated me, smiled and started unloading their groceries. Because of that smile I was sure they would accept my blog, and they did graciously. Right before I left I told the dude, "Thanks for accepting my blog. It's nice to know other people want world peace besides me." They were all smiles and wished me luck. I told them goodbye and that they would see me again, I'm everywhere.
After that I left Gross out and started walking, feeling good because I was working my homeless illusion so well. Just then this homeless guy walked by pushing a big train of stuff that had a sign that said Anything Helps. I felt so well-concealed, hehe. I walked to that tattoo shop that I went to the other day. I'll put a link. Unfortunately, the door was locked. Then I walked a little more and I offered my blog to these two guys getting into their car. They ended up being Jehova's Witnesses and they refused my blog! So I started yelling at them right there in the parking lot, lol. "That's right, be afraid, good little slaves" Nobody wants world peace!" They started spouting lame excuses like, "We're Jehova's Witnesses so we know what it's like to be denied!" I told them, "You, of ALL people should accept my blog! You fucking hypocrite!" They got mad and right when they drove off I yelled, "Good little slaves!" The one lame guy yells back, "We're glad you said that because now we know what you're like!" Little do they know, lol. I yelled, "I just want you to remember!" I had such a badass time today.
I started walking home. I started walking through the neighborhood. I went all the way down Surrey. Right before I got to Sonoma there were these white dudes working on their car. I walked by and offered my blog and they tottally denied me. I yelled real loud, "Man, NOBODY wants world peace!" and kept walking. Lo and behold, like two houses down was this one dude who had just witness my denial who was sure to accept my blog. I told him, "I was just testing you guys. You passed, they failed." He laughed.
I am still debating on when to post all of this Modesto stuff. I already have a little in my captains logs, but maybe I should wait until we move, which we are doing soon because I am taking over our leaving. Do you hear that, Elizabeth? We're going to give most of this crap away and not care about the money.
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