Berkeley, CA
Tuesday July 29, 2003
7:05am I just woke up at the laundromat. Man, I'm cold and not wanting to be here anymore. It's only been a couple of days. I sat down and talked to this guy. He told me some crazy shit. I forgot exactly what. It was something like, "A coward lives to fight another day," or something like that. I asked him if he could spare any tobacco and he hooked me up. Then, this cop drove up to get a donut at the coffee shop(oh cool, my sign's still there) and he told me, "You've gotta keep moving." The guy who hooked me up with the tobacco said, "I'm a paying customer. I've got a coffee." Then the cop pointed at me and said, "Oh, what about this guy? He's smoking and there's no smoking in front." The pig told me to leave and then went inside to get his precious donut. Stupid pig. Always trying to push people around. Fuck the police.
Last night was weird. I smoked crack, unknowingly. This black dude who always calls me Texan gave me a hit. I should've known it was a crack pipe, but I hadn't ever smoked crack before. I was even poking it with a safety pin trying to get it to hit right, but all I got was a hit that didn't smoke like weed. He didn't tell me it was crack! Oh gawd, I've always prided myself in never doing drugs, and I smoked crack. That pisses me off. It just felt like I was really stoned, but damnit, I didn't want to do crack, ever. Ugh, maybe that's a sign. Maybe I should skip town. Umm, after I catch up typing up my stuff at the library.
8:42am Just finished eating breakfast at the church. I'm walking to the school to go to the library and get to work. That's my job, to go type up my stuff every day. I'm just not getting paid for it. At least not money.
11:42pm I got tired typing my stuff up on the computer, so I came to People's Park. I think I'm going to put down my poncho and crash out. I'm tired.
1:00pm I just woke up from my nap in the park. I laid down on my blanket and crashed out. I had a good nap. I'm going to go back to the school and type up my stuff.
1:28pm Kevin, in front of the Doe Library hooked me up with a cigarette. I appreciate it, brother.
4:46pm I've been at the library this whole time typing up my stuff. I got a lot done. I'm at the part in Socorro with Gretchen. I just realized that they feed at 4pm. Hopefully I won't be too late and there will be some food left. I'm hungry.
5:47pm Jim hooked me up with some marijuana.
5:50pm Grim aka Brandon Mercer was telling me about how I can get some money for free. Ahh, I don't need any government cheese.
5:59pm Man, some cool shit happened to make my day better. I was almost too late to eat. I had a good, productive day. I got on the computer and typed up a lot of stuff. I made it to the church and they still had some food. I had left my sign in front of Cody's yesterday, not caring if it got thrown away, because I have to make a new one. I figured the only way I was going to make a new one was if I just left this one out here and abandoned it. That's exactly what happened. I had even made up a sign that said, "I need to speak to NOFX about August 8th," and I left that one out, too. I was just walking down Telegraph and all of a sudden, I see these people that recognized me, because people know me here. I stopped and talked to them and I noticed this girl was loading up some weed. I went, "Hey, I want a hit." and she gave me one.
6:15pm I was walking down Telegraph and I struck up a conversation with this homeless lady. We were talking and I told her, "Yeah, I'm a designer. I design my own reality." She was all, "So am I! I get up and set projects every day. I don't have money. I don't need money." Hey! That's just like me! I told her, "You really need to listen to me. I need to tell you something that is very important. It should take precedence over anything you have planned. It's of global-importance." I started talking to her as we walked and before I knew it, she started talking about something else. She wouldn't let me finish. I just came out and told her, "Listen, you are proving my whole ignorance theory right. You're not letting me finish." She interrupted me some more. I told her, "Listen, you need to realize that I am trying to do the same thing somebody else tried to do a long time ago. Bring peace to earth. I'm coming across the same exact resistance and ignorance he did, from the same exact people who have worshipped him their whole lives. I don't think I'm Jesus, I'm Victor. I'm just following his same path, trying to bring peace to earth." We walked up to a bus stop and she gave me a hug and a kiss on the cheek. She told me, "You are a beautiful person. Thank you so much. I really appreciate what you're doing. I understand you." Wow, I felt like she did understand me. She does what I do, and she's an older lady. She's crazy like me, hehe.
We walked past this Japanese restaurant and she told me, "They gave me a bowl of rice here one day." I told her, "Wow, that's great," and she went, "I didn't think so, I don't have any teeth." I didn't have to think about it that much and told her, "Well, it's the thought that counts. How were they supposed to know?" She was quiet for a minute and then said, "You know, you're right. It is the thought that counts." Then she starts talking about her teeth(or lack of), saying, "It's not good not having teeth." I tell her, "Yeah, but at least you're not dead." She smiled again and said, "You're right again. Thanks a lot." There's a brighter side to everything.
I am independently self-employed. I put myself to work.
6:27pm The 40L pulled up and I asked the driver if I could have a courtesy ride. The lady driver told me, "Sorry, I'm not giving free rides today." I told her thanks anyway and to drive carefully. So, that was my deciding-factor. I guess I'm not going to Eastmont Mall today. I'll do that tomorrow. Actually, what was I thinking? It's late.
I'm at the corner of Telegraph and Carlton. Here, where they have all this scaffolding and they're doing construction work, someone wrote, "Don't write on this." Hehe.
6:40pm I was walking down Telegraph and Pixie gave me a cigarette. Thanks Pixie.
7:20pm I just ran into Steve, this older dude who showed me a cool squat last time I was in Berkeley. That's cool. He's still around.
7:34pm I walked over to the MLK building to check my email. It closes at 6pm. Damn. I need something to do. I guess I'll concentrate on finding something to eat.
7:42pm I'm over at Telegraph and Channing talking to Lance telling him my ideas. I bummed a cigarette and he's telling me he has some property up in Chico.
8:13pm Man, this is cool. Lance might be my big break. I don't know. I shouldn't be expecting things.
8:49pm Munga is being very generous once again. He came up to me and asked me if I wanted to smoke some weed.
8:56pm Munga went on a mission to get us both fed. He went into the market here and talked to Ichbar, the manager. I wasn't around when he talked to the manager, but he talked him into giving him four dollars. Afterwards I asked him what he told him and he said he went in and asked for some food, not for money. Ichbar assumed the role of father-figure and is getting the children fed.
9:02pm Munga and I went into the salad restaurant on Telegraph and told the cashier, Luz that we only had $4, but we both wanted to eat. Luz was generous enough to bulk up the salad so both of us could eat.
9:05pm Luz ended up paying for all of it! She gave Munga the $4 back. Wow. You're in my book, Luz.
10:20pm I came to Hate Camp in front of Sproul Hall at UC. They usually have this thing called Hate Camp where everyone bangs on pots and pans and just has fun. Instead of saying hello people say, "Fuck you," and tell off all the dumbass college students that walk by. The pizza restaurants on Telegraph always let someone take over all the leftover slices they have, so that's dinner usually. It's a custom and has been going on for years. Tonight, I didn't get a slice, so I'm going to walk back to the Bay King by Haste and see if they have any day-old donuts for a dollar. I got a dollar from Munga. I'm having a good time tonight. All my needs were met lavishly. Hehe, I like saying that. It's a cool phrase. Munga hooked us up good. He got $4 from that convenience store and we went to the salad place and ate. We even got some extra bread.
10:40pm Ken was gracious enough to give me a cigarette. When he saw me making the entry in my journal he asked me, "Are you really writing a book on generosity?" I told him, "No, I'm living one."
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