I give up. My dream to wake up the world is not going to work. My efforts have been in vain.: 092007

Georgetown to truckstop to rest area, TX

Thursday September 20, 2007

9:34am Last night was cool. This guy Rick,

this random redneck dude at the gas station. I had just gotten back to the gas station after being attacked by ants. Stupid me, it was because the field was just mowed. It was all crawling with bugs. I packed up real quick and headed back. I ended up losing one of my badass gloves that I used to move all the shingles in front of my mom's house. I wonder if he'll take me back to the gas station. I'll go back and find the missing glove.

Anyway, Rick gave me all these warnings about wearing my WPTMJ shirt in this stretch of Texas. This is the most cop-infested part of Texas. Rick said they'd take you to jail for anything. I put my Old School Homer shirt on. It sucks because the armpits of the shirt has all these little holes because I tried to bleach the stains out.

Anyway, last night I got to sleep in between two fluffy comforters on the floor. I have decided I'm not going to try and tell Rick my story at all. He's just too brainwashed with TV. That's all he does. I'm not saying that's all he does, but he did turn it on last night as soon as he came inside. It was cool he was all about helping me out. I told him how I got bit up by all the ants. He walked up and he saw my shirt and said, "Yeah, marijuana!" When he came out I asked him, "Hey, are you going North at all, at least to the next gas station? Actually, I am looking for a place to camp. Do you know of any spot around here?" He said, "You can crash on the floor at my house in the air condition." I said, "Cool!" He had two big thick comforters in his closet. I put one down and used the other one to cover me up. I got to sleep inside a marshmallow last night. It was awesome. He has this air conditioner on the floor and the room got all cold, so it was badass sleeping inside that cocoon.

This morning I woke up early around seven or something. I reorganized my pack and shit while he slept on his bed. Oh yeah, I got to take a shower last night! I swear my prayers were totally answered last night. Last night I was all, "Man, this place is dead. I don't know what the fuck I'm going to do. I can't camp nearby. I even considered asking the Middle Eastern people if they would let me crash somewhere in the half of the store that was run down and being remodeled. They probably would've let me. They're open twenty four hours. I had good luck with Middle Eastern people yesterday. I like them a lot. They were all about world peace through marijuana.

                   It was so awesome how I got hooked up with a hotdog yesterday by that one cashier. Yesterday was a roller coaster. I was gas station hopping. Like four or five different gas stations. It was fun. Oh yeah, I'm reading this guy's Playboy. It's a March 2006 issue. It has this badass article about climate
change and global warming. It's a huge article. I'm going to ask this guy if I can have it. Just in case he doesn't let me have the magazine, let me get the book the articles from and download it off the Internet. Tim Flannery is the author. Let me get the book name. The Weathermakers.

     11:12am  I just got dropped off by Rick at that gas station I was at last night. Let me go see if I can find my other glove. The gas station is a little bit outside of Georgetown. I'm going to go see if I can get a ride there. I'll tell somebody my story. Actually, Rick dropped me off across the highway from it.

     11:23am  I walked to the Mobil, the truckstop here where I was last night. I'm going to go look for my glove.

     11:25am  I got my glove back.

     12:26pm  I didn't tell you. I'm walking the seven miles to the next gas station.

     12:46pm  I just realized I haven't taken one shot of Riovida since I left San Antonio. I will at my next rest.

     12:55pm  I walked the access road all the way to the stop sign.

                     Thirty four miles away from Austin. I took a shot of Riovida.

     1:15pm  I took a smokebreak underneath a bridge. When I finished I got up and started walking. I was still on the onramp when in no-time David pulled over for me. I appreciate it, brother. Everybody gets credit.

     2:13pm  I just got dropped off by that David guy. I took his picture. Across the highway there's a Flying J truck stop.

                   I'm kind of hungry so I'm going to microwave some Ramen.

     2:52pm  I crossed the highway and I'm at the truck stop now. When I first got here I asked the two young cashiers working there if I could ask for rides. I introduced myself and told the dude, "I'm a long-distance walker and a journalist. I'm writing a book on generosity and marijuana..." The dude smiled real big and they told me to just not make it obvious.

     3:37pm  I'm out here telling my story to, oh cool, he just volunteered me five dollars! This guy: "He didn't even ask me for money. I just gave it to him."

Corey, one of the cashiers who I asked permission to ask for rides, she hooked me up with a cigarette. I appreciate it, sister. Everybody gets credit.

Great presentations, hell yeah.

4:46pm I just took a picture of Fritz, a Giant Schnauzer. I have to show my mom that. She's got a Schnauzer.

5:55pm What's your name again? Bobby

is telling me this poem he learned in prison. Bobby: "Surely, if you want to have peace in your life and love in your life and you're going to be worthy of something, think of yourself as a pond. A pond of water. A pond of water don't hurt nobody. It does nothing but be there. If the wind blows, it allows the wind to blow. It allows the ripples that fly across the top. If an animal come up to the pond and it want a drink, the pond don't say,
"Get away from me." It happily allows it to drink. If somebody comes along and they're dirty, the pond don't get mad and say, "Don't jump in me and clean off your dirt." It accepts you and invites you in to clean yourself and leave your dirt in the water. There's a flower at the bottom that wants to grow through the water to reach to the sun. The water doesn't suffocate it and drowns it. It allows it to grow through the water and reach for the sky. So truly, if you really want to be free be like a pond of water. If you want to walk to a pond and throw the water on the side of the ground and waste it, the water won't get mad. It will allow you to waste it. Throw it on the bank, let it dry out. It's not going to get mad. If you decide that you want to spit in it, it ain't gonna talk about you because you spit in it. It's still going
to love you. Truly, if you want happiness in this world think about the pond of water. A pond of water allows everything to live and be as it wants to be. It does not change nuthin'. Truly, it will quench your thirst." I'll see you later, Bobby. Bobby: "Hopefully I'll see you on TV someday." Nah, the revolution will not be televised.

     6:35pm  I need to make an update. I am having some great presentations at the Flying J. This guy sat down and listened to me for like half an hour. I took his picture and everything. Every time I get to the part in my story when I go, "I even take pictures." I say, "Can I take your picture, please?" Some people tell me no, but most let me.

                   Oh yeah, I got blessed with some more money by this cool black dude. I can do laundry and wash my WPTMJ shirt. Then I realized I had my PEACE THROUGH WEED shirt to wear. I'll put that on. I'm still at the truck stop. Or maybe I'll put on my FUCK BUSH shirt. Hehe, yeah right. I'm still in Texas. While my clothes are washing I'm going to read my Ishmael book. It's a good book so far. It's about this gorilla.

     7:25pm  The very first thing it says.

"Among the people of your culture, which want to destroy the world?"

"Which want  to destroy it? As far as I know, no one
specifically wants to destroy the world."

"And yet you do destroy it, each of you. Each of you
contributes daily to the destruction of the world."

"Yes, that's so."

"Why don't you stop?"

I shrugged. "Frankly, we don't know how."

"You're captives of a civilizational system that more or
less compels you to go on destroying the world in order to live."

"Yes, that's the way it seems."

"So. You are captives - and you have made a captive of
the world itself. That's what's at stake, isn't it - your captivity and
the captivity of the world."

"Yes, that's so. I've just never thought of it that way."

"And you yourself are a captive in a personal way, are you
not?"

"How so?"

Ishmael smiled, revealing a great mass of ivory-colored
teeth. I hadn't known he could until then.

I said: "I have an impression of being a captive, but I
can't explain why I have this impression."

"A few years ago - you must have been a child at the time,
so you may not remember it - many young people of this country had the
same impression. They made an ingenious and disorganized effort to
escape from captivity but ultimately failed, because they were unable to
find the bars of the cage. If you can't discover what's keeping you
in, the will to get out soon becomes confused and ineffectual."

"Yes, that's the sense I have of it."

Ishmael nodded.

"But again, how does this relate to saving the world?"

"The world is not going to survive for very much longer as
humanity's captive. Does that need explanation?"

"No. At least not to me."

"I think there would be many of you who would be glad to
release the world from captivity."

"I agree."

"What prevents them from doing this?"

"I don't know."

"This is what prevents them: They're unable to find the
bars of the cage."

"Yes," I said. "I see." Then: "What do we do next?"

Fast forward to page 27:

"And do you still wonder if you've been lied to?"

"Yes, but not as desperately as I did then."

"Not as desperately? Why is that?"

"Because I've found out that, as a practical matter, it
doesn't make any difference. Whether we are being lied to or not, we
still have to get up and go to work and pay the bills and all the rest."

"Unless, of course, you ALL began to suspect you were
being lied to - and ALL found our what the lie was."

"What do you mean?"

"If you alone found out what the lie was, then you're
probably right - it would make no great difference. But if you ALL found
out what the lie was, it might concievably make a very great difference
indeed."

"True."

"Then that is what we most hope for."

I started to ask him what he meant by that, but he held up
a leathery black hand and told me: "Tomorrow."

Page 41

"Third," he said, "definitions. These are words that will
have a special meaning in our discourse here. First definition:
STORY. A story is a scenario interrelating man, the world, and the gods."

"Okay."

"Second definition: TO ENACT. To enact a story is to live
so as to make the story a reality. In other words, to enact a story
is to strive to make it come true. You recognize that this is what the
people of Germany were doing under Hitler. They were trying to make
the Thousand Year Reich a reality. They were trying to make the story he
was telling them to come true."

"Right."

"Third definition: CULTURE. A culture is a people
enacting a story."

"A people enacting a story. And a story again is . . . ?"

"A scenario interrelating man, the world, and the gods."

"That's right."

"But I still don't know what the story is."

"You will. Don't fret about it. For the moment all you
have to know is that two fundamentally different stories have been
enacted here during the lifetime of man. One began to be enacted here some
two or three million years ago by the people we've agreed to call
Leavers and is still being enacted by them today, as successfully as ever.
The other began to be enacted here some ten or twelve thousand years ago
by the people we've agreed to call Takers, and is apparently about to
end in catastrophe."

     7:50pm  I just got my shirt out of the laundry. I am sporting my WPTMJ shirt.

     7:51pm  Crystal, here at the truck stop, gave me a cigarette. I appreciate it, sister. Everybody gets credit, thanks.

                    Oh yeah, I made a friend. This young trucker dude. He saw my shirt and asked me if I had any to sell. I told him, "Sorry, but I'll smoke you out." Then I got this idea. See, I have five dollars in my wallet and there's a Hooter's over there. I want to go buy a milkshake. I told this idea to the dude I just met and asked him if he wanted to go to Hooter's. That we would smoke on the way.

     10:12pm  My friend Mike

and me, there ended up not being any parking at the truck stop. We went for a ride in his truck and smoked some weed. I just now finished telling him my whole story in the truck. What did you think, Mike? Mike: "It's fucking awesome." I got some pictures of his adorable doggy humping a pillow.

11:17pm Mike's leaving in the morning, so I might just pull an all-nighter and he'll give me a ride. If I don't get a ride before then. Oh yeah, here at the truck stop this guy pulled up in a cop car. It was just the same model, he wasn't a cop. Oh yeah, and I just took a picture of the Homeland Security Threat Level sign. It came out real dark,