092109

                                                                                                             Missoula, MT

Monday September 21, 2009

     6:24am  I woke up at 6:20am with eight hours of sleep, hell yeah. 8.50 hours of sleep. I hope I'm not that sick anymore. Last night I set up my tarp all perfectly and it didn't rain at all. I used my new candle lantern and hung it from the top cord. I took a picture.

     7:23am  All packed up and leaving.

     7:57am  I had a nice relaxing morning. I packed up real quick, not too quick. I had to fold up my big tarp. I'm going to wait until nine in front of the Salvation Army to do laundry. I'll go get on the computer at the drop-in center and bullshit on IRC, in the New York channel, #newwork like I did yesterday. They like me there. Alright, I'm walking now. Oh yeah, on the beach when I woke I hung out with Felicia and her boyfriend. They gave me a couple cigarettes and we shot the shit. I'm walking into town now.
                  
     2:28pm  I haven't been that updative today at all. I came to the Salvation Army, but I'm too late to do laundry. I'll at least score a shower. Let's see, earlier I showed up at the Salvation Army at 8:30 thinking I would be able to get my laundry done and take a shower without too much wait. Boy, was I wrong. At 8:30am there were five other homebums in line. I would've had to wait another like two hours to get my stuff started.

                   I could just get a phone number and call about my test results. That's the only reason I haven't skipped town yet. Umm, I'm pretty sure I have Herpes. I've got a sore on my dick. I'm still itching everywhere too, like every day. The itching hasn't gotten any better.

     3:15pm  Leaving from Salvation Army. I scored a shower. I left my Gilligan hat at my camp somewhere this morning. That sucks.

     3:20pm  I hung out with Teegan at Reefer Beach today. She's hot. I took her picture.

     4:51pm  Dude, I'm all stoned. I got smoked out hardcore at Reefer Beach. I just walked through heavy traffic while they had a green light. People slowed down even. I was baked and didn't notice there was a stoplight at the intersection so I just started walking on the crosswalk, assuming cars would stop like they usually do in this town. Ha, I'm so baked walking through traffic with my walking stick and big bags. I'm lucky a cop didn't see me and give me a ticket. I'm walking to the Poverello all stoned. I'm walking a different way. I got smoked out like crazy at Reefer Beach. I couldn't find my hat.

                   Oh yeah, I tried telling Raven, this train-hopper girl who got beat up not too long ago, my story. At first I noticed she seemed really intelligent and was very verbose, perfect candidate for my story, so I thought. When I started it up she wouldn't listen to one bit of it. She thought she knew it all and wouldn't listen. I should've given her the disclaimer. I did tell her that quote "Nothing I say today is going to teach me anything, so if I want to learn I have to do it by listening." Anyway, I'm walking to the Poverello to eat.

     6:50pm  I should make an update. Today I've been pretty down. I'm still itching and nothing they've given me at the Partnership place helps with it. Oh yeah, I forgot to take my Herpes pills. They're not helping me at all, so I'm thinking it might not be Herpes. I'm a little worried at what exactly I have. HPV, maybe. I'm always telling people I am the happiest man in the world, but that's a big lie lately. I've got an STD. I have to take it in stride and look at it as a mixed blessing, everything happens for a reason. Ugh, easier said than done. I haven't been telling my story. I could've gone and told it right now, buy I just came to camp. I need to get out of Missoula pretty soon. Hopefully I'll get my results and book it.

     2:01am  I woke up with about seven hours of sleep, but I'm going to try and go back to bed.

     4:06am  I didn't fall back asleep. I started reading my Bermuda Triangle book by candle lantern light. Thank you so much, Rob in Mullan, Idaho. I'm real down. I've been itching nonstop. These Herpes pills aren't doing anything for my itch, so it might not be Herpes. I don't know what's going on. I keep wondering should I be embarrassed? Yesterday after I ate at the Poverello I was outside smoking and itching a lot. Some dude noticed me scratching my butthole and asked me why I was scratching my ass so much. I told him because it itched and he said I should really take a shower. I had taken a shower an hour before. I didn't tell him it was because I had an STD.
                   I'm all worried and troubled over this. I had been feeling great these past couple of years with no symptoms. I've known this whole time I've had Herpes because I had sex with more than one girl who had it. One who had HPV too. Ugh, I might have both of them. I don't know what's going on. I feel like I need to find people who have Herpes too, that might help me feel a little better. I don't know what's going on. I feel like going back to San Antonio. I don't know what I'm going to do. It's going to get really cold really soon. I'm thinking about dipping South for the weather. I need to get to the East Coast already and be making my way down.

                   I know this is going to be a total hit to my mission because a lot of people are going to take me even less seriously because I have Herpes now. You know how pregidous people are. I'm really worried. I haven't felt like telling my story at all. Last night I went straight to bed at six or seven last night. I need to get out of Missoula already. I talked to Marcia, a nurse at the Poverello.

                   And to top it off I have lost Fawn Journeyhawk. She's not at Shadow's in O'Brien and I can't just go get healed anymore. Maybe I'll go back to Shadow's and see if he has any leads on her new location.

                   Please LOVE, show me a sign of what I'm supposed to do. I don't know what I'm going to do. I am not the happiest man in the world anymore. Maybe I should go back to San Antonio. I'll go to my mom's house and let my mom take care of me. Maybe I'll just go back to SA to get thoroughly checked out and see exactly what it is I have. Then I'll plan for a clockwise trip and do the East Coast first after the winter. Ugh, no, I have to stick to my plan and keep going East even in the winter. I'm all depressed and sad. I haven't cried though. I still can't remember the last time I cried.

*** 4-18-23 If you guys at blogger are reading this thanks for letting me have my blog up even though its subject violates some content rule, I'm sure.  I'm hoping you guys realize the potential of my project and let my blog grow and be shared.  So much more to come.  Please allow it.  The reason I have been able to come this far is because I'm not really doing anything wrong.                     Delete this *** text if you get this message, please.  ***

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