092123

Los Angeles, CA

Thursday September 21, 2023

                  12:38am  I am in the bathroom in LA.  With that money I stopped in at the Big Five Sporting Goods in San Jose and bought some white tights for $20.  Then I went to the Amtrak station and bought me a ticket to Los Angeles!  

1:37am  I got to LA on the Greyhound around one, to Union Station in LA.  It's a pretty shady place, so I don't want to stick around there.  I have been trying to buy a cigarette for a dollar, but nobody has one.  And I can't find a store.  I found this one store with all these thugs in front of it.  I said forget it.  I kept walking towards I10.  I am in downtown LA, but  I figure if I keep walking I10 East I'll get to a gas station eventually.  I ended up at a Denny's.  They don't have any plugs to charge my phone with.  I got coffee for four dollars.  Unlimited refills so I might stay here until the sun comes up.  That's a long ways away.  

3:07am  I started some morning projects.  I am just chilling here outside close to Union Station.  At Cesar Chavez and I don't know what the intersection is.  Over by Union Station.  There are all these bums sleeping everywhere.  I lost count of all the people who are talking to themselves.  I've seen like two or three people hitting meth pipes.  It's tent-city everywhere.  All these tents everywhere.  It's real dirty.  It's a cesspool.  

               It really sucks that I got here at like 1 in the morning on the bus and nothing is open.  I went to Denny's and I bought some coffee.  I had like fifteen dollars left.  I am really lucky I didn't find a smoke shop and spent thirty bucks on tobacco.  I wouldn't have had enough for the bus fare here.  

               That's crazy how in like only five days I am on the main vein to Texas, I10.  I have only come about five hundred miles.  I have a lot of ground to cover.  I am already on I10 level, so it's not as cold at night.  Anyway, let's see what happens.  

                Before I got on the Amtrack bus I was sure to secure my gun and knife in my backpack.  After I got off the bus I couldn't locate my knife, but I found it eventually.  I have it all.  I am 100 percent complete.  I still have everything I left with.  I thought I had lost my glasses, but I found my glasses too.  The only thing I don't have is my thirty dollar water bottle.  I lost that in Patterson when I went inside to ask for a lost and found about the ring.  I left it at the front and when I got back it was gone.  I almost bought another one yesterday.  

                  At the Denny's I made a friend.  I rolled a big joint and I smoked some black dude out, Joseph.  This white dude who was sitting in front of Denny's, I don't know, he might've been a college dude.  When I saw him take off walking I followed him.  I saw him run across the street to catch a bus.  I went to where he got on to catch the next one, wherever it goes.  I feel more secure wandering around downtown LA at this hour since I found my marine blade.  In case I get attacked by any tweakers.  

3:52am  I didn't tell you.  I made a taller than me friend!  I have been hanginb out with him and he's telling me where I need to go.  No, it's a voice recorder.  I type it all up.  I am living a book.  I got some good sleep on the Amtrack bus.  I got to downtown LA and I am all awake.  So I followed this tall brother from Union Station and now I am heading towards Hawaiin Gardens, wherever that is.  I need to find me a truckstop so I can get the fuck to Texas.  He gave me a cigarette.  I appreciate it, Kevin.  Everybody gets credit.

        Maureen was the Puertorican's name at the bus stop.  She was nice.  She talked to my about Panama.  She even knew about the Chorerra area.  

5:19am  The random bus I got on led me to this corner.  I am talking with this beautiful African Nubian princess.  Sa-ondra.  I asked her for a cigarette and she rolled me one.  Thanks.  And now she's listening beautifully to my story.  

        I had such a nice time talking to Sa-ondra.  She was asleep on this bench.  I shared with her snacks and put a smile on her face with my stories.  I even watched over her as she slept.  I put my jacket over her.  

7:25am  I just got off the 60 bus.  Over here by Orcini Apartments.  North Figueroa.  This is as East as he went.  I am walking the oppsite direction.  I'm going to see if there is a store anywhere.  I'll buy me some cigarettes and get some water maybe.  I've got five dollars.  Maybe I should start asking people where a truckstop is, laters.  

8:15am  I walked up Sunset Blvd.  Somebody told me there's a beach this way.  I've been hiking.  I walked past this Psychic Readings place.  Palm and tarot cards, chakra balancing.  The door says open on it.  But it's locked and nobody answerered.  I left them my blog all over the place.  

10:19am  I can't believe that time is right.  It's hard to tell beacuse you can't see the sky at all with all the clouds.  I have been walking down Alameda all of this time.  I almost got to ther other onramp.  I figured an onramp that close to downtown would not have a convenient spot for people to pull over.  I thought I made a friend.  I tried to smoke this black dude out but he kept wanting me to sell him some.  I saw a real prostitute!  I had walked over to this tobacco shop, she had wings tattooed on her back.  and her tits were almost falling out of her shirt.  She was asking people for dollas.  How typical, how movie.  It really is hell on earth down here.  I am real curious to see what is going to happen.

         Oh yeah, I am in the city of Vernon.  I don't know what to do.  I am going to keep walking down Alameda Street.  

10:56am  I am walking in front of Fred Roberts Gymnasium.  Honduras Avenue.  

11:25am  I just had a huge scare that I lost my recorder.  It wasn't in my pocket.  See, I had this little awkward happening.  I got lost in LA.  I am going back to Union Station.  I think I need to get to Montclair, the furthest town East.  I don't know, I am going to ask around.  

12:11pm  I wandered over to this little park.  What's it called?  The LA Library.  They've got all this astroturf instead of grass.  I met Molly.  She's telling me about some struggles she's had.  What was the story again?

Mel:  "So, when I was a little girl, like when DARE would show us weed in school, they would say it was grown up stuff.  They would ask us what our parents did behind closed doors and we would know it was just grown up stuff.  That's what my parents taught me.  I grew up having no siblings.  My stepdad was always working, all the time.  My parents, they sold weed to like the teeny boppers.  I lived on a little island so even the teachers, even the cops got weed from them too.  I was a little girl and I was around all these adults.  My grandfather was a locksmith for NSA Whitby?  And I would go there every other Friday and learn how to make bullets and stuff like that.  Just learning things, not being a juice baby.  It taught me a lot.  The one thing that happened was there was this one girl Crystal.  She would come around all the time.  And everytime they would do grown up stuff, she took time out of her day to spend time with me, instead of being behind those closed doors.  So I considered her like my sister.  I didn't have anybody.  She taught me about boobs and tampons and TMI all that stuff, because my mom never did.  One day I got a phone call from my mom.  She told me that ??? had died and she needed to come pick me up from my granpas house.  So I had never seen drugs, I had never been around anything of that sort, but I had been around a lot of things that I heard.  When I was nine years old I went to the funeral.  It was a closed-casket funeral.  She died of a heroine overdose.  It was the third time she had ever tried it.  We had no idea that any of them were doing it.  It was a very very hush thing.  Everyone knew everyones names, like Cheers.  It was a very tight-knit community.  When you got on the ferry, you at least knew seventy people.  I didn't know what a dead body was.  I tried to go in, when the boyfriend Devin was standing over her giving her a rose,  I crawled in and I tried to wake her up in her casket.  Three days later we had a bbq and about 26 people showed up.  It was all the people that came when I was little.  My aunts and uncles, brothers and sisters.  They all told me that they were never coming back.  Because it hurt them too much.  There was a second generation that came through and kind of did the same thing.  I went over one day because my parents were figthing and Jeannie came and picked me up, that was Damien's mom.  I never had to go knock on the door before.  I was always allowed to just walk on in.  Well, I went over there and I ran into the backroom to say hi.  And when I went to the backroom I asked Jeannie, "Why is Damien giving himself a doctor shot?"  When I was eleven years old I wrote this poem.  When I started having medical problems and a lot of seizures everytime I woke up on life support I would remember Crysal's funeral and this poem.  It's called Losing People You Love:

There they go dropping one by one everytime they got spun
You sit around watching them have all the fun, watching them waste their lives away thinking, really?
Which one is going to stand by the end of the day.  Everytime they stuck a needle in their arm they feel a shooting pain go right to their veins.  
You never thought this would do any harm, but take a look at your arms.  Life isn't all cracked up as it seems to be, so when you suck the drugs up your nose it begins to bleed.  Please, please, remember me.  Remember all the hugs I gave you, remember all the love I showed you.  Just remember whenever you need me please come and see me.  I walk around in disbelief not knowing when they are all going to leave me.  While I walk around and say hey, today was our final day, because for some reason I have the feeling that one of them is going far away.  Ring, ring, it's the phone.  I pick it up and on the other end someone says, "Are you ever coming home?"  People leaving and people breathing as you stand around on the ground relaying, saying goodbye as you cry.  They put you six feet under today.  You will never get to crack open another Pepsi.  You will never get another hot fudge sundae.  You will never get married.  You will never have kids.  And where did this all begin?  That very first needle you stuck under your skin.  

I wrote that when I was eleven years old.  

Victor:  "Are you adverse to hugs from strangers?"

No.   When you right about any of this I would prefer you leave the names out, the actual names.  

Victor:  Okay.  As you wish.  

12:21pm  Here is one last story from Molly: "It's called When You Hear Me.  When you hear me my sounds are weak and empty.  There is no emotion surrounding that sentence.  Well, most turn their cheeks than listen.  When you hear me, I'm saying goodbye.  Because this here is my last stale cried out cry.  When you hear me I'm not crying to be pitiful.  So when you hear me you'll hear it.  I am not going to hide all the hurt and pain.  I am going to hold it deep within my spirit.  My heart sounds of my uncontrollable weeps.  When you hear my listen to this.  What?  That's the sound of nothing.  Because that's what happens when a beautiful little girl slices her wrists and lays there all alone bleeding all over the floor.  Bleeding uncontrollably and becoming of no more.  This is what happens when you've been walked all over.  So when you hear me you wish you knew me before.  Because what you do know is that my spirit holds in fear and you will hear of the girl who cried the most cried tears."

Victor:  I am so glad I was able to let you vent that.  It needs to be shared in order to be transmuted.  I am happy to be here for you.

Thank you.


1:13pm Theo hooked me up with three cigarettes in front of the 711.  I apppreciate it, brother.  Everybody gets credit.

3:41pm  Tony gave me a cigarette in front of Starbucks.  I appreciate it, brother.  Everybody gets credit.

4:06pm  I am talking to this brother who is giving me directions to find a plug where I can charge my phone so I can call my wife.

        Brother:  "Take the red line to North Hollywood.  Exit and get on the Orange Line which is a bus, you'll see it right when you get off, and go up from the Metro B Line, the Orange Line bus, exit Roscoe, across the street there's a Jeep dealer by the gas station, the second light pole, look for it in front of the Jeep dealer.  That place right there, after 8am, not a soul knows that fucking thing is there."

        Great, thank you, man, I appreciate it.

5:09pm  Hamilton is giving me directions to a good sign-flying spot.  

        Hamilton:  "Take the 33 bus to Venice and La Brea on 7th and Spring.  Look across the street, there will be an island in the road.  You can go across the street and fly your sign.  The cops won't even bother you.  Make all the money you need."

                    Awesoe, awesome, that's what I needed to know.

8:07pm  I don't remember what public transit I was on, I think it was a train but I met Saga.  I was meant to run into Saga right now.  Saga:  "We are going to interview soon.  I am going to approach him on his blog and get his contact number.  My contact number is 323 884 1617, thank you."

        Saga even volunteered me his Indian food.  What was it again?  Saga: "Indian Chicken Baryani."

        It was delicous!  Reminds me of all the Halal food I love from Modesto.

        OMG!  Saga said he wanted to interview me!  All I told him was I a was a long distance walker/journalist.

Next day..