100603

 

Arcata, CA

Monday October 6, 2003

     10:00am  I just woke up not too long ago. I went to sleep late. Check out what happened last night at the barn. See, Mark went and found a place to crash, over near Geba's shrine. 

 

                     I was on The Community Chest smoking a cigarette when all of a sudden, Jonathan walks up with these two chicks. I meet them and they're these two seventeen year old chicks who seemed pretty dumb. Apparently they were sluts and had just followed Jonathan to the barn to fuck him. This one girl was all over him and her friend came up to me. I was still sitting on the chest and the two girls were acting pretty dumb. Not to mention, Jonathan had his cock sticking out of his pants and the two girls were all laughing. I was really, really glad I didn't have my glasses and it was dark.
                     Well, at first I kind of got excited because Jonathan brought me home some pussy. Then I remembered how shitty it was when I had sex in the barn last time. At first, I tried telling this slut who was sitting next to me about my plan, but she was way too ignorant to hear me out, or care. She pretended to, though.
                     Oh, I contemplated it soooo much. I rarely get laid. Condoms were available and I saw nothing but green lights. When they had first gotten to the barn, I asked the one girl who wasn't with Jonathan, "Hey, since you don't have a sleeping bag, can I assume you are keeping me warm while I sleep tonight?" She hesitantly said yes. Well, later we were both sitting on the chest and it was pretty chilly. In hopes she would scoot over and keep me warm, I said, "Remember how you said you would keep me warm tonight? Well, would you like to start a little early?" I was totally implying that she just scoot over, but before I know it, this chick says, "Sure," and gets up and goes to the part of the barn where I have my bed made. Hmm, this girl's got a one-track mind. I didn't follow her to my bed, I wasn't tired yet. I went back to sit on the chest and she came back eventually. I was already pretty turned on, though. I even went up to her and started feeling her up. It started feeling really wrong, so I just stopped.
                     I wasn't going to let it happen again. Casual sex just increases your chances for bad things happening to you and is not worth the risk. I told this girl, "Listen, since you don't have a sleeping bag, you are more than welcome to sleep with me and we can keep ourselves warm . . . but no sex." She had a dry reaction to that. But, by that time I didn't care. She was a slut in my eyes already. It would've just been way too easy and I opted not to. I like a challenge.
                     Also, I am really conscious, maybe overconscious about me coming too quick. It terrifies me to think that I'm going to cum and the girl won't. I am way out of practice. I'd feel like a cheater if that happened. Before, when I had sex with Chasity I used to come early at first, but with practice I lasted longer. But it was cool, because Chasity was on Depo-Provera and we didn't have to mess with condoms. If, by chance I did come first I would just let her ride to glory and get her own. It's not like you go automatically limp afterwards. Some guys say it's way too sensitive to keep going afterwards, but practice makes perfect, I guess. Hey, as long as she gets hers. But, with condoms, you can't do that.
                     Anyway, Jonathan ended up with both of them in his sleeping bag. I was sleeping not too far from them and I could hear them messing around. I, like any other human who doesn't get too much sex, was horny as hell. But, I told myself I wasn't going to ever have unprotected sex outside of a relationship again. I was going to stick to my values.
                     I eventually dozed off. A little while afterwards I was awaken by the one girl crawling into bed with me. I guess she was just cold. Ahh, a girl to sleep next to and hold. I got mine. That's all I wanted to begin with. Even when I had sex with Maya the other night I didn't go to sleep thinking I was going to get any. I went to sleep happy that I had a warm female to hold on to while I slept. The whole sex thing was a bonus, but not really. Actually, I wasn't even fully awake when she put it in.

                     Anyway, I woke up this morning and the sluts were gone.

                     Okay, that was what I remembered. I'm typing this up on the 8th. Let me keep transcribing from the actual recording, which won't be as detailed:

                     Okay, last night was a really interesting night. Well, not really interesting, just kind of lame. See, Jonathan is always talking about his big black dick and how he gets laid all the time. Well, last night after I showed that Mark guy the barn which he liked a lot, Jonathan showed up with these two chicks. They didn't look like street girls, but they were going to crash at the barn. These two seventeen year olds. It seemed like they were both under the context of having sex at the barn. There were two of them, so there was one for me, if I wanted one. At first, I played around with the idea. In the dark, without my glasses, the girl seemed pretty hot. But it was just too easy. At first, I considered it, but quickly changed my mind. I even told her, "Hey, if you want to sleep with me and keep me warm, that's cool. But, no sex." They had all been talking about having condoms and stuff. They were these two little slut girls. And they were just expecting everything, always asking, "Give me a cigarette, give me a cigarette," and shit like that.
                     I'm pretty proud of myself, though. I could've had sex last night, again at the barn. But, once again, I don't want to have sex without a shower at my disposal. That's nasty. Shit, I have so much typing to do. Oh yeah, today I'm supposed to get my glasses finally. I'm going to go to The Endeavor.

     11:45pm  Walking up to The Endeavor.

     12:06pm  Just took a picture of Tiffany and Precious, this cute little puppy outside The Endeavor.  

     12:40pm  Sandy just told me I have to wait until tomorrow. That's alright. She told me, "Thanks for your patience." Well, I guess that's the price I have to pay. They're free. I told her I really really appreciated it. I miss my clarity so much. Man, I got a whole other day. I hate spanging.

     12:42pm  Oh yeah, this morning some guy suggested I go to the police station and go through their lost-and-found. Somebody might have turned my glasses in. That would be so cool if they did.

     12:50pm  Pam Valley, here at the police station. I came in and asked them if they had a lost-and-found. Pam didn't find them, but she offered me her personal spare pair! I told her not to worry about it because The Endeavor is getting me glasses tomorrow, but it's the thought that counts. Thanks anyway, Pam. Oh yeah, they weren't my prescription, either.

     1:16pm  I walked in the bank and got the idea to cash out all my change. I got a five dollar bill in the end. I have a total of six dollars now. I need to save it for my busfare.

     1:24pm  I am going to go implement the idea I had earlier. Since so many people know me in this town I'm going to go put up an ad on the rider-board at the Co-op. I'll put up an ad that says, "Victor, the guy with the rainbow beanie and walking stick needs a ride to The Bay Area ASAP. On my way to save the world."

     1:38pm  I just finished writing out my card. They're going to put it up today at the rider board. I put my email address on it, so maybe I'll get an email soon.

     1:41pm  I'm going to take a shit at the Jacoby's Storehouse.

     2:05pm  I went to the Jacoby's Storehouse and took a shit. I read my book in there, too. I thought it was going to be locked because the restaurant wasn't open. But, it wasn't so I got to chill out and take a shit.

     2:10pm  I walked up to the plaza and Sears came up to me and asked me if I wanted to smoke some weed. We're going to go to the tree by the highway and smoke some weed.

     3:30pm  That dude Sears smoked me out at the tree. We talked and he listened to a lot of my stuff. I told him lots of my stories. It was awesome. He didn't interrupt me one time. He just sat back and enjoyed.

     8:33pm  I'm all done. Oh yeah, I didn't tell you I walked to the library to type up my stuff. I typed up three whole days. Almost caught up. I'm on the third and it's the sixth today.

     8:50pm  I'm having me a good smoking session. I found me ¾ of an American Spirit in my smoking-post resource outside the library. I smoked and I took a hit of weed and I'm walking back. I'm all stoned. I'm all happy. It's so great that I had such a productive day today. I feel great. I feel excellent. I'm going to sleep well tonight. I typed up a lot. Three days.

                   I stopped and talked with Downtown Jessie Brown. I walked a little further and said hello to this cool girl with dreads who I talked to at The Endeavor earlier. I don't remember her name, but she listened to me a lot earlier. She had even said, "Wow, you've got it all figured out." Now, I'm going to walk to get a donut. I deserve one. An apple fritter, maybe. I'm hungry.

     9:27pm  Marko hooked me up with a cigarette. I appreciate it, brother.

     9:38pm  I just took a picture of Geba and stud-muffin Jonathan. 

                   Here's a picture of me smoking in the barn. 

     9:39pm  Geba wants to sing a song into my tape recorder: "People are strange, when you're a stranger, faces look ugly when you're alone. Women seem wicked, when you're unwanted. Streets are ugly when you're down. When you're strange voices come out of the rain. When you're strange, no one remembers your name. When you're strange. Hmmm, hmmm, hmmm when you're unwanted, streets are ugly when your done. Hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm."

     9:40pm  Jonathan grabbed my recorder and is going to make an entry: "I'm fucking so tired from fucking two females and I'll probably fuck some chick some other time, but I really don't care right now, Because I got mine. I got mine! Yeah, baby! Yeah! She could've almost fit it all the way in her mouth, but she couldn't, and I'm a pimp like that."

     9:50pm  Norman is hooking me up with some change for a donut. Whoa, badass! That's like three bucks in quarters! Sweet.

                   Cool, I got spare change for food tomorrow, and some coffee. $2.50

     9:56pm  Michael's hooking me up with a paper. I appreciate it, Michael.

     10:12pm  Chad just hooked me up with a cigarette. I appreciate it, brother.

     10:20pm  Michael just walked by, told me the fairies had granted me a wish and handed me a bag of marijuana.

     10:37pm  Chad hooked me up with a cigarette again.

     10:55pm  I just talked to these guys outside the bars. They listened to me a lot. They were all into my stories. They thought I was pretty cool. Jonathan is annoying the hell out of me while I'm making this entry saying, "No they weren't! They were laughing at you!"

                     Oh yeah, one of those guys asked me, "Hey, have you ever done telemarketing?" Haha, I told him, "Yeah, fifteen times, never longer than three months. Where do you think I learned you have to be positive-assumptive to make the sale? It was one of my best learning experiences to show me how big a joke money was."

     11:08pm  We just got to the barn. I can get my bed together and crash out.

Next day..