failurefranklin02

 

Failure Franklin 2

From :
"FRANK GRUBER"

To :
writeprotect@hotmail.com

CC :
lmgrubertorres@hotmail.com

Subject :
Re: Apology/Disclaimer for my brother's e-mail....

Date :
Mon, 22 Jul 2002 22:35:25 +0000

In the beginning was the "WORD" and the word was made flesh said the wisest man that ever existed. Mere words are important they are a reflection of who you are. I do not get upset over your feelings toward me. Simply vulgarity in your language is a lack of respect to my dignaty as a human being. I do not use vulgar language rutinely. It may happen if I am very angry but when I can prevent it I will. Using vulgarity is a statement of lack of self esteem and love because one has nothing better to say. The first key to success in life is respect for all living things. I am beyond playing with words. I take life seriously. Everything I do good or bad is important to me. With my words I am always making a statement of my level of evolution. Once while in a restaurant on the Florida State University campus a Japanese student asked me "how are your grades." I responded in a casual way " they are just " passing. The important thing is the diploma, to graduate. " He responded excuse me for what I am about to say but you are a " fool!" As the years went by, I realized he was right. I was being a fool. The opportunity to learn in college I was taking for granted. There are many things we take for granted in life. One that you are taking for granted is the value of this current communication with me. You may not see that it will ever lead to anything useful for you as it never did in the past where in fact the communication was absent. My communication from the start was positive, yours negative. you only care about yourself. You really do not give a damn about me, no simpathetic feeling for any of my circumstances or health problems. I have more feeling for you than you for me but by being disrespectful with your words you antaganize the person whose blood runs in your veins a fact that you also take for granted. Take nothing for granted and things will go better in your life. You will have less accidents.

Thank you for not using vulgar language in your last communication. Its very easy to grant me a minimum of respect so our friendship can grow. Hope you get the message words and everything you do are important. I am not one to hold a grudge. I am violent only when people do not show the minimum of respect we owe each other as human beings. In Panama about 50% of the population hate north americans. I look and act as a gringo. Everyday I receive resentful and disrespectful looks and statements just for existing in my own land. I have grown sensitive to receiving baised disrespect just for existing. I do not need more for free from my own blood line. Lets respect each other so we can move on to better topics which may be of benefit in our relationship!

======================================================================================

From: "joe mama"
To: survivaloil@hotmail.com
Subject: hello frank
Date: Fri, 06 Sep 2002 09:30:39 -0700

     hello frank, ahh, things have been rough here, but im not letting it get me down. i would be greatly interested in sampling some of your natural products. also, anything you can tell me about herbs, spices and natural cures would also be greatly appreciated. im all about naturopathic medication and would love to learn more about it.
     i apologize for any animosity youve recieved from me. it would be hypocritical of me to ignore you. therefore, i am willing to open my mind to any knowledge you can feed it. my mind has been one big sponge in these trials of mine lately and i dont want to stop learning. so, feel free to enlighten me, at your convenience of course.
     also, if your cures are as fruitful as you claim, maybe i can help get some publicity for you with the use of the internet.

get back to me please.

- victor

======================================================================================

From :
"FRANK GRUBER"

To :
writeprotect@hotmail.com

Subject :
Re: hello frank

Date :
Tue, 10 Sep 2002 22:33:00 +0000

Dear Victor, wellcome back on line. Yes, could use your help with your knowledge of internet. You could also make money at it. Place an add in as many places you know of whereby those interested can send you ten dollars and in return you will reveal the name of the pharmacy with the best anti arthritic oil in the World! Once they send you the ten dollars via credit card or money order, simply send the address of the El Boticario Pharmacy of Panama. I will send you the exact address, email, phone, etc in my next email. The price there is 14.95 for a 4 ounce bottle. People will have to send for it and bring it into the U.S. themselves. While it is legal in Panama to sell my product as an article of artesan consumption that is unlikely the case in the U.S. Your only obligation in your advertisement is to reveal the address of the pharmacy that sells this revolutionery product. Whoever needs it badly enough will find a way of receiving it. Once properly equiped I can produce of the concentrate about $100,000 a day! I shall also send you my one page publicity in spanish which you are free to translate or dissiminate as "is" to the spanish audience of internet. If I "take off" financially speaking you three and your mother will be included in the new prosperity. In a few days will get back to you with Farmacia el Boticario`s address, phone, fax, email, etc. Whatever you do do not reveal our family relationship in your advertising as I do not want you or your sisters kidnapped and traded for the formula. Before you formally send any advertisement in internet please allow me to review it first, O.K. Will get back to you in a few days. Try to obtain the books published by Jethro Kloss, an american pioneer on healing with herbs. This commom sense man had doctors working for him! As ever, God Bless You & keep You in Sound Health!

======================================================================================

From :
"FRANK GRUBER"

To :
writeprotect@hotmail.com

Subject :
Re: hello frank

Date :
Wed, 11 Sep 2002 21:59:57 +0000

Dear Victor via internet in english and spanish please publicize the following information:

Anyone desiring to locate the best oil to massage
into joints with ACUTE ARTHRITIS PAIN AND INFLAMATION
please send me ten dollars at xyz address. I shall
upon receipt of payment inform you immediately
the International Pharmacy where ACEITE ANTI ARTRITICO
GRUBER can be purchased. It is made with the best
central American herbs and in a matter of a few days
eliminates pain and inflamation. The pharmacy that
sells this product sells it with a total satisfaction
garantee or your money returned 100%. This product
actually goes to the roots of the disease. Its made
with plants which contain antiinflamatory and antimi
crobial properties. Contact me at email xyz

When the clients send you the ten dollars then send
the name: Farmacia El Boticario, Republica de Panama,
Telephone (507) 314-6203. Ask for Mr Clyde Francis,
Store Manager, email cfrancis@pancanal.com Of the 6
el Boticario Pharmacies Clyde is the only bilingual
person working there. If he is not in the office the
client should contact his celular phone: 633-0065.

Victor, people like Mr. Clyde with a Masters in
Business Administration would not accept my product in
their stores if it where not very, very effective. You
are free to call him and talk with him about the
product. The point is do not doubt or hessitate,
lets get this on the international market now!

Now is the time before the international
pharmaceutical companies pressure the government to
get it out of the market because its an artesan
product. It is being sold legally now so now is the
time to push marketing!

This can be your opportunity to express your genius as
an expert in Internet Marketing. Will send you this
week a 4 ounce sample in the mail, hope it reaches
you but get going on the marketing even if itdoesnt
arrive, customs may not let it in but those in need
will find a way. I have a client just turned 80
with a fractured hip, all pain disappeared in 3 days.
His name is Lencho, lives in La Mesa de Macaracas,
Los Santos Province, owns a store there. The oil is
massaged in the affected area twice a day, before
bed time and after showering in the morning for
several weeks or months for lasting relief.

The book by Jethro Kloss is titled
BACK TO EDEN, hope you really enjoy it!
Goodluck & Fortune, Franklin Gruber

======================================================================================

From :
"FRANK GRUBER"

To :
writeprotect@hotmail.com

Subject :
Re: hello frank

Date :
Wed, 11 Sep 2002 23:20:24 +0000

Hi Victor. Your sister Laura informed me that you are six feet six inches tall! Never dreamed a son of mine would be that tall. Your grandfather Victor was only six feet tall. Your one year old brother has big feet, greenish bluish eyes, blond hair. My hair used to be blond as a kid but turned brown.

With regards to studying herbs there are three routes you can go. One, the occult uses of herbs. I Have read some on the topic but as a cristian it never interested me. The other two routes are more cientific and legitimate if you do not mix with animal medicinal products which can decay and harm people, like "mantecas" for pain, etc.

Those two routes are: learn a little of a lot of plants or a lot of little number of plants. There are literally thousands of medicinal plants in the World. For the first year or so you may decide to learn a little of many hundreds or thousands of plants trying to discover the small number that interest you most say about one hundred then investigate everything known about that small group of plants. By doing that you end up in your own mind with "broad spectrum plants." There are plants that have over 90 different medicinal properties. A handful of such plants in a botanical formula can cure over 500 ailments. This is a fact especially to the person who does the investigation but since the public knows so little about those virtues no one would ever believe that a cure all formula can be built to cure about 95% of the most frecuent infectious ailments, including aids and cancer. Of course the formula would not be equally effective on all people, for each disease there would be a differrent bating average. The problem is not that a " santo remedio" formula cannot be devised rather that the World and the pharmaceutical industry is not prepared to allow such an invention. The optimun goal of a botanical scientist in the medicinal field would be to "cure the maximum number of diseases with the minimum number of medicinal plants." I made my first Santo Remedio formula in 1991 and was persecuted for it, so I became wise, now its just the Anti Arthritic Oil but as people begin to use it the demand will also increase as they discover that its useful for many skin problems and eventually for internal problems as well. I use the concentrate of this formula to cure variety of skin cancer. I cured a melanoma skin cancer on one of my moles with this formula about ten years ago. In nature every region of the World is gifted with the medicinal plants necessary to cure the endemic diseases of that area.

As there are different ways to skin a cat, there are differrent combinations of plants that give the same ultimate results. Every region has the plants for making a santo remedio type formula. " There is nothing new under the sun!"

Modern Science ha divided medicinal plants into toxic and non toxic. However, there is a third category, the semi toxic plant. It is in this third category that the cures for all of mans cronic ailments is to be found. The cures for cancer and aids, etc are to be found there. A semi toxic plant is one that in "common sense" dosages does not kill human beings but kills germs. What common sense means is very relative and can be differrent in differrent culture, nevertheless its the category tht requires intense investigation. Many of the common sense dosage plants have insecticide properties. When taken internally in common sense dosages they kill intestinal worms but do not harm the host. They can be used to bathe a dog or cat or horse and kill the tics, etc. Environmentally sound insecticides can be made from these plants.

This is your first lesson from me in this impirical science. Make copies and save for posterity. A lot of the things I can tell you may not have been said before(recently) and could be of great value to you and humanity. May God Bless and Keep you Always, Franklin Gruber Chiari, september 11 2002

======================================================================================

I think I sent a copy of an email I sent to Franklin to my mother as well. I copied it and mailed Franklin with her response.

From: "joe mama"
To: survivaloil@hotmail.com
Subject: ada's response
Date: Fri, 13 Sep 2002 22:22:46 -0700

Since an e-mail that I received was addressed to Franklin, I decided to delete it immediately. Besides, it is of no interest to me to read a 21K letter that isn't my business at all. Perhaps you sent it to me intentionally but I must say that whatever message you wanted to send to me through such a missive, was not read. Maybe you want people to feel sorry for you by probably making them feel guilty, but in my case, it's not working. If you could not respect me as a human being and are going to insult me constantly, then there's no place for you in this house that the "glorified babysitter'' supports. The day you decide to stop trying to manipulate me, start respecting me and whatever I want to do with my time, my house, and my money, and contribute positively in this household...then you will be welcome again.

"Ada"

======================================================================================

I sent Franklin one of my daily logs.

======================================================================================

From :
"FRANK GRUBER"

To :
writeprotect@hotmail.com

Subject :
Re: ada's response

Date :
Sat, 14 Sep 2002 21:20:37 +0000

Dear Victor, thank you for your recent letters! The things you describe are incredible but obsiously so, thanks for letting me know how life is going for you in San Antonio. Yet, foremost, congratulations on your new job! The U.S. has its advantages for bright people in your situation. In similar situations in Panama people may let you starve. I had a friend who`s name was Randy. He had been a Sargeant in the U.S. Army, experimented on drugs, got off of them, then lived the bohemian life for 20 years, being a taker. I allowed him to stay for several months at a time in my mother`s house. He met a beutiful young girl, made her 4 blue eyed children, finally got a ticket to leave Panama from a sister, sent his children money for a year, and now his children are going hungry. People eventually got tired of giving to that taker, his hair grew white, lost all his teeth, looked age 75 at 50. What I have difficulty assimilating is that I thought your mother was an extraordinary mother and person, that she could do better without me because she could not live with me, that she would do an excellent job of raising you three. Apparrently I was very wrong. When I returned twice to San Antonio to try to reconciliate with your mother and her come to Panama with you three she refused. I then had a stable job earning sufficient monies to support the family. After that attempt I became very depressed and ill and began to think in terms of my own survival. Had I not taken care of myself then possibly there would be no chance of being able to assist you three in the present future. In life, to ease the stress, you either head for the top and make it, then have the leisure life, or head for the bottom and also have the leisure life(if you succeed at the bottom) No es malo ser pobre, es malo no saber ser pobre) When I became ill I headed for the bottom but not in the human jungle, rather the real jungles of Panama where if I cured a few people with the free herbs of the environment, well they took care of my food and shelter needs. With time I realized I could make more money by activating myself in marketing my medicines. I have a nationwide network of clients but the situation is so bad down here that often even after 2 months a client has sold nothing so I invented the idea of STRATEGIC MARKETING focusing in on areas that could pay high prices for the antiarthritic oil. I have entered this phase now foronly 4 weeks. This coming week will learn if the technique is effective when I go to collect. The important point Victor to remember is that in the long run your environment defines your possibility for success in life. When I tried to move again in the middle and upper classes of Panama, I was rejected as my face and everything that irradiated said " this guy comes from the bottom." After my mother died I went to my aut Rosa to take a bath one day. She said "no way" you stink like a campesino, go see if your uncle Beto will allow you a shower in his pension. There he said yea but you have to pay! I know what you are going thrugh. The important thing is to find a "nitch" where your value is evident and work from there to "overcome" the environment. " No se puede ver bien el faro que te alumbra hasta que superes el medio ambiente." Lets keep in touch. If things improve for me which I feel they will, I will send you some cash. Send me in your next email an address where I can send international money orders. Try to stay off marihuana( I tried it myself while growing up) It will break holes in your spiritual life support electromagetic field and allow in harmful entities. You, of course, may not believe this.......but with time you will realize, I was right. As a young man I was a "hell raiser" I liked to party and enjoy living the good life. My parents paid a high price to raise me. Thank God, I do not have anykind of police record. You might consider the possibility of coming to Panama once my situation improves a little. Here you will not find any hand outs yet an opportunity to enjoy nature learning to harvest what is of value free in the jungles, the herbs. Keep me informed of your situation, toma las cosas con calma, you as I are "late bloomers." My father Victor predicted that. When my mother would get on his tail to scold me, he would say,leave Frank alone, he is a late bloomer but when he does bloom he will succeed in life. It is a shame Ada does not want to communicate with me. She would feel better learning that I have changed, matured in many significant respects. Her having a friendly relationship with me may help improve the overall tension in your relationships. Son as soon as you feel the strength head for the top, the bottom will consume you. That which does not grow, erodes.....keep on growing. Try to find your link to the creator. " El que no cre en Dios no cre en nada." Relativity is a World of illusion. There is a power within us, the body is the temple of God, that can illuminate us in our dire moment of need. If we do not connect ourselves sincerely to this power if and when our spiritual defenses breakdown, our souls lose vibration and are attracted to tiny quartz cristals by the force of gravity where they are imprisoned, that is "hell." You see to many these are crazy ideas. You have yours, there is a saying, "de sabio, loco y poeta todos tenemos un poco." Victor there is a creator and the creation can nerver be more than its creator, this is why modern medicine cannot be more than medicinal herbs, copies can never be better than the originals. Yet human intelligence has a place in God`s plan, we are to be concious co workers with God`s divine plan, which he will reveal to those souls and bodies where his presence can cohabitate. This is not religion, this is Science of Soul. The architect of the Universe is God himself, there is no greater mathematician or scientist than THE SUPREME LORD thus he sends his knowledge in "light waves" which some have the fortune to tune into if there receptors are "clean enough" to vibrate at the proper frecuencies. O.K. so much for "my madness" let me know more of your philosophy of living and making a better World! I have a friend who is a Chief Forest Ranger on a small paradise like island. (it used to be a prison island). I may self excile myself there once I install my new Strategic Marketing System. Any help you can give me on the marketing end will be appreciated. Stay cool, positive, move forward, possibly we may be great friends some day! The last thing we sould lose in life is HOPE. En mi momento mas dificil clame a Dios y su voz me contesto y dio la solucion a mi problema. Estaba a punto de cometer suicidio. Segui su consejo y por eso vivo en el mundo tratando de no ser de este mundo porque sabemos que la humanidad va hacia un suicido colectivo. We can with our grain of sand or bolder, make the differrence of survival for humanity. But first we must ourselves overcome the environment we life in before we can teach others to do it. It hard, almost impossible, but we must be strong and brave. Like you, in a sense I have no place to call my own. I cannot live in the ruins of your grandmother´`s house because in front is a gas station and cars polute the area which depress and make me ill. I have not been able to sell the house because it owes several thousand dollars in taxes....I am working on selling my part of rights of inheritance. This transaction may be next week. If it does occur you will receive 500 to 1000 dollars. Its in the mill, negotiations are advanced, but lets wait and see que pasa. Have a friend offerring me for free 200 hectarias in the Darien Jungles of Panama. I will be discussing that matter with him next week. Its government land where colonisors are needed. About 100 miles from the Colombian Border. It is a somewhat dangerous area but maybe in my life time the internal conflict of Colombia will be resolved. I am living in a small town called Macaracas, Los Santos Province, in front of the Police Station, maybe there for only about one more month then plan to move to a cooler climate mountain area. You can write me there,also, Franklin Gruber Chiari, Entrega General, Macaracas, Rep. Of Panama. If your mother really wants you out of her life, ask her to get you a plane ticket and 100 dollars and send you to live with me. I will bear with you, with me you will learn how to survive or go hungry, there is no otherway here. God bless you Victor. If you do decide to come to Panama you might make it in time for the THIRD WORLD WAR. Take care, do not drop out of the sky, if you ever do decide to come this way , let me know 10 days in advance. As I can make 2 or 3 thousand dollars of medicine a day, if you can sell like I do, 15 to 30 dollars in half a day, you can survive and enjoy living at the bottom. Really materialism isn´t all that great if you have to wear yourself out to be "normal." Being at the top can mean surviving happily.

======================================================================================

From :
"FRANK GRUBER"

To :
writeprotect@hotmail.com

Subject :
Re: International Marketing

Date :
Sat, 14 Sep 2002 21:26:31 +0000

Victor, in your free time see how you can help me in the international marketing of the aceite antiartritico. If you help me succeed you will help yourself as well. There are things with computers that you can do which I can´t. Possibly marketing is one ofthose things! Do it on free time, do not jeopardize your job in using their computer. Frank

======================================================================================

In an email I sent Franklin, I explained to him how I did not consider myself a hacker. I told him I did not know how to break into other people's computers. That I could probably learn how easily, but I think everybody deserves some privacy. I told him what I did know how to do was get free shit. Oh yeah, he also thought I had hacked some email account of his, that I knew nothing about. Damn the ignorance in this world.

- Victor Antonio

======================================================================================

>From: "joe mama"
>To: survivaloil@hotmail.com
>Subject: truths
>Date: Mon, 16 Sep 2002 08:04:26 -0700

I sent Franklin my list of truths.

======================================================================================

From :
"FRANK GRUBER"

To :
writeprotect@hotmail.com

CC :
lmgrubertorres@hotmail.com

Subject :
Re: truths

Date :
Mon, 16 Sep 2002 18:49:37 +0000

Dear Victor, Anti establishement attitudes plus computerwiz iguals hacker. My reaction to your hacking my" naturista" email account may have cost the interruption of the two commercial relations I was counting on for improving my economic situation and being able to assist you and your sisters in the near future. Do you really want to develop a constructive new relationship with me? Building a new and better World with your ideals implies first eliminating the hate and blinding resentment you have towards me. I cannot help you if in anyway you insist on punishing me while I try to assist you, even if it is only listening to your life story. Just one of my formulas marketed on an artesan manner in the states(you can build it from plants there) would keep you from "begging" the rest of your life. That would be for fungus and skin infection which almost everyone gets in the course of a year. You have incredible marketing skills probably better than mine, anyone who can diplomatically survive begging for a living as a "philosophy of life" can quickly become rich when such talent is applied to marketing things everybody needs at the 1 to 5 dollar level. Spend some time in internet to locate the things you think almost everybody would buy. Your sense of accomplishment would be great and be on your way to becoming a millionaire. With all that hard earned money(maybe easy for you) you could do humanity a lot of good. Think also about the flower plant business. One seed costing 1 or two pennies in 6 weeks becomes a flowering plant worth 5 dollars. You may have a green thumb! Small flowery plants can be sold on buses and be an excellent conversation piece to break the ice with. Beautiful plants bring a lot of joy and peace to those who receive and those who give. If it would interest you to make 500 dollars a day in antifungus medication let me know, I will send you the formula. Frank

======================================================================================

From :
"FRANK GRUBER"

To :
writeprotect@hotmail.com

Subject :
Re: supplements to my book

Date :
Mon, 16 Sep 2002 23:00:13 +0000

"I SHALL NOT LEAVE YOU UNTIL THE END OF THE WORLD"

======================================================================================

From :
"FRANK GRUBER"

To :
writeprotect@hotmail.com

Subject :
Re: supplements to my book

Date :
Mon, 16 Sep 2002 23:43:58 +0000

How can you save the World by eliminating money if someone infallable stated " THE POOR SHALL INHERIT THE EARTH " His spirit moves among us and touches the hearts and souls of those that develop "receptivity."

Its easy to blasphemy the WORD OF GOD when you even haven`t sat down to really read it yet had plenty of time to fill your mind with this World´s junk books. There is something greater than truth, true living. Legalizing harmful drugs has nothing to do with true living. You believe your own "lies" because you have no true standard by which to examine truth. Your´s is the World of illusions. You will continue to fall hard on the "rock" of reality. You are now part of a collective destiny moving in spiral to create a World order dominated by the prince of evil. You cannot withstand the pull and inspiration received to do what you are impelled to do. I am fighting this draging force myself. The only way to really overcome it is to exile yourself far from the spiritually contaminated cities and live the most humble and frugal life. The peace felt then will heal the mind. You will be surprised that your thinking will be very differrent as you move away from cities. "I sense I will not be with you for very long, learn all you can from me now." You will have your own trials and tribulations and have your own experiences which if not reserved to yourself will likely put you in the nut house. Those who play with fire get burned sooner or later.

"What do you gain if you gain the whole World and lose your Soul!" (assumming you have one, you already appear to have lost your conscience.) You are playing the game that life for you is simply a game. Life is the opportunity to progress spiritually. It is a great honor to be born in the human body, don´t waste it!

======================================================================================

From :
"FRANK GRUBER"

To :
writeprotect@hotmail.com

Subject :
Re: truths

Date :
Tue, 17 Sep 2002 16:37:13 +0000

Victor, where did you get the corny name Joe Mama, is it a title of a novel? (lot of gramatical errors, am not waring my glasses, corrected some)

At first when I was growing up in the "good ole U.S.A. I thought life was a piece of cake, hand outs like food stamps, clothing, many hand me down things of use free. Shit, I took the system for granted. Here in änama people will kill you to rob your used shirt and shoes. If you get cought smoking pot you go to jail and you may get a trial a year or two later and odds are you get rapped, no one will do anything about it.

Life is a bitch a soldier once yelled at me in an intersection after reading the look on my face. I´ve made a parentesis to speak your language for a little while, it was mine once. The counter culture emotions and ideals. It seems to pay at first. Its like a giant casino where beginners luck sucks you in then you can´t find your way g out of "hotel california." Eventually the separate personality one builds inside is self evident and you can{t hide anymore. So then at every turn you are a target of those persecuting the counter culture. The extreme of decay sets in and the resentment builds, one becomes a criminal or terrorist, everything comes out in the open. Truly there is nothing hidden we only fool ourselves. The question is how to leave the counter culture as it becomes you, the reflection of the environment your drawn to. Appeal to your good side, your higher self already within you, pray ernestly to God, he will enlighten and guide your path out before its too late. Sometime a change of environment helps to change the perspective and break the routine. You are concerned about World peace, you want to save the World? Why not join the peace corps, its a free paid vacation, an opportunity to interact with many people such as yourself who want to change the system. You play hard ball pretty good, congratulations! Don´t get caught off guard with me. If you survive your trials and tribulations you will be better able to serve humanity if the end result is eliminating resentment and finding inner peace. Even at the heart of "a hurricane" there is peace. You can´t accomplish anything lasting until you find your point of equilibrium. The conglomeration of people in cities causes the distortion of magnetic fields consequently your in the electrical storm field. The vibration there is lower than the harmony created by a natural setting like a quite lake or mountain retreat breathing fresh purer oxigin. There the vibration of the soul is higher consequently our spiritual eyes open wider and the power of the soul begins to quite the storms of the mind. But to survive in such center of hurricanes you need a means to make a living, leave that area for a few days to replenish supplies and return. The thing to watch is not to build your "ego" to large. The tendency of the counter conture is to buiuld the ego then try to remake the environment as a reflection of our own ego. God allows us to do it so that we either sink or yell for his help then realize that he does exist and without his guiding light we cannot prosper. My karma has been somewhat differrent than yours. When I was born, I was born a blue baby. Did not want to breath.

At the very last instance of survival I cried. Lost some brain cells there. Later eat the lead paint from my crib and nearly died. At about age 5 was taken on a family outing to a dangerous beach. Was told not to enter a specific area but as soon as my aunt turned her head I ran right into 12 foot waves. I yelled and screamed. No one heard me. Luckily I knew how to float. Suddenly three giant waves came out of nowhere and I was thrown on the sand. Two years later the "negative power put an obsession in my mind" I raised hell so my father would take me to the Army pool at Fort Clayton. Finally he did and as soon as he was not watching I headed along the side to the deep end where stupidly I tried to swim. I went straight to the bottom. There instinct indicated for me to keep my cool. I did not panic. From the diving board I saw a shadow coming into the water. It was an unknown solder who picked me off the bottom and saved my life. Since then my life has hung by a string over one hundred times. Is it just plain luck or that "God" prefers me to others? However, I noted about 4 years ago that I was not invulnerable, I stupidly walked on a manhole cover at night and peelled my skin to the bone. I did not have my medications at the time, my nurishment was very poor and gangreene set in. I tried curing myself at three differrent locations but each of those locations had clorine in the water and the curing process even with the herbs went very slow. Finally I went to Pedritos house deep in the bush where they owed me a favor of curing his father of a cronic caugh. They took me in. For three weeks I moved as little as possible and practically lived in a hammock. Luckily Pedrito had a sister who took "good care of me." Under pressure I invented what maybe the first botanical antibacterial "scab" which fell off when the real scab came up behind it. I am in the godforgiven town of chorrera which some day you will walk looking for my ghost, come through but do not stay least you go too "to the portals of hell", literally. If you survive that "born again experience" you will also appreciate God. This reminds me of an eerie experience Randy once had while going through his twenty year audessy in Chorrera. After getting off drugs for a while he started to look for God in the local churches, became obsessed with the bible, something which I have never done. That night he awoke with God speaking to him telling him that next to the gas station near the parque was a man who needed his assistance. Randy was sleepy and did not heed the message, we went back to sleep. On the third insistence he reluctently put on his pance and went to the gas station. There was no one looking foreigner like which he thought the person was anglo. He just saw an indian leaning sadly against the wall of the gas station so he said hello just to make sure that he had complied with God's mission. The man answered in perfect english. He was a Brujo who had traveled the World over. With his witchcraft he h ad done a lot of people in but in the end he was bank rupt spiritually. He felt life was not worth living and he called out that late night evening to God. He said " God" if you really exist please make yourself manifest to me." He had a gun and was about to blow his brains out. Randolf explained that God had awakened him and sent him on the mission to explain to him that he did exist and to console him, that he should leave the witchcraft and serve him. Once Randy saved my life. He was very good at helping others but hardly could save himself. Lived off the generosity of his "friends" for 20 years. One day at night in the market area a friend called him and said please get me some cloth, I am naked, have been robbed of even my shoes. So Randy ran to the small room of a friend where he kept his clothing and brought back to his friend his only pair of shoes and good clothing. The friend said thanks but never returned the clothing. That was Randy´s good personality. His bad side thought he was God himself and everybody should serve him because he in some way imposed his services even in a subtle way. Its a survival tactic as well as a feeling of service. Like Randy and like yourself, I have had such friends about half a dozen of th em which I have helped in many small or larger ways. Each and everyone of them eventually was threacherous with me since as they create the alternate compartmentalized personality they lose their sense of appreciation. As their egos build they want to organize an organization to continue to feed their distorted ideals and needs. Victor, do you really want to continue on in the direction your moving? Having gone through that experience can help you become even greater in your own and God¨s eyes when you truly overcome. Hitler was made from the hate and resentment accumulated in his society. Unless you overcome the resentment in your heart you really have not accomplished nothing in life as resentment is a bliding force. All these hate and resentment droven people have one thing in common, if they do not get their way, they work to distroy their own acquaintances. And, then, failing there evil inspired mission, destroy themselves. Was Jesus wrong when he stated MAN LOVE THY SELF AS THEY NEIGHBOR? When you lose your self love you cannot possibly love anyone else and your consceience ceases to manifest its guiding light. Either you belong to the creative forces or the distructive forces- Once the distructive force subtlely sets into your personality it uses the positive personality to indicate to the World that here is one who really wants to help the World, and boomarand later on. Besides God, I have another friend. His name is "nature." I can go there barefooted hardly without clothing and find in the wild food, shelter, medicinal plants, peace of mind to discontaminate myself from the "venum OF FELLOW HUMAN BEINGS. For a reason man was placed in a garden. I wish you the best although you will probably be my worst enemy in life. As you go futher through your own experiences you will better understand me. You are 24 years old and unprepared for marriage. The same happened to me at that age when I meet your mother. With time other parallels will evolve. You have the strong emotional Puerto Rican temperrament combined with the sharp German insensitive brain. This adds to the duality in your life which in time may be your worst enemy. You are an explorer, knowledge hungry but only have the city and human jungle to explore, what a pitty.

The jaguars and snakes make better living companions but you have to know what to do when they strike you. Wether you like it or not SON you follow in one way or another in my footsteps. You will come face to face with me someday and for an instant you will not know whether to kill me or embrace me. In spite of being my SON I will experience the same emotions. Only if we find something in common that saves us both can ever we be reconciliated. You are alive, what a blessing. You have a chance to get out of the "hell" your in, don´t waste it. Good opportunities are counted on the fingers of one hand and fingers are left not counted. If you ever decide to come to this God Forgiven Country give me a few weeks advance notice. I hate surprises and am prepared to deal with them. If you do not give me the clue that your coming I will not be of much help when here you get caught in the "quick sand." Americans who come to Panama have a 99% possibility of getting in accidents. Thats why we are an endangered species here. Go on forward in life Son, continue to be brave, be GOOD!

======================================================================================

From: "joe mama"
To: survivaloil@hotmail.com
Subject: Re: truths
Date: Tue, 17 Sep 2002 17:11:50 -0700

    frank, when i made this email account and it asked me what my name was, i chose joe mama as a joke. i wasnt about to put my real name.

let me go through your emails and try to respond to every point you brought up:

    of course i want to continue on my course, my ideas make perfect sense to me, and they will to all humanity when they read them. frank, i am my own god, just as everyone is their own also. i have full control of my decisions and my accomplishments. i believe the human species is an instinctly-insecure one, that cant handle the weight of their own existance on their own shoulders, so they make up some supertnatural deity to "explain" everything for them. if there were one true god, as most christians believe, why is there so much variety in religion? who the hell is right? what about all those polytheistic religions in asia that believe in demi-gods and more than one god? are they just damned to hell for believing in the wrong thing?
    i believe i am the most successful man in this world, only because i am at peace with myself and as independent of money as possible. success, unfortunately, is measured in money these days. shouldnt it be based on happiness instead? i know of suicidal millionaires. isnt the phrase, "money is the root of all evil" in the bible you adhere to?
    frank, i hold absolutely no resentment towards you. i have found that when you act the opposite way that people expect you to act, you surprise them and they respect you. we ALL make mistakes in our lives, as you have made yours(and i have made mine). i forgive you frank, for forgiveness is divine(another bible quote).

    i am not a hacker frank. i am a whacker(joke). i have no desire to learn how to break into other people's computers. i believe everyone has the right to their privacy and i am not going to take that right from them, even if i am capable of it. i hold no hate nor blinding resentment towards you frank, please believe that. like i said, everyone makes mistakes, you are only human like me. how have any of emails punished you?
    i am no beggar frank. i dont need to beg. i am an asker, and an acceptor. i dont twist anyones arm. it truly doesnt hurt to ask. its not like people dont get anything back when they give me things. they get that great feeling of being good and helping a brother out. if it was just a one-sided transaction, no one would give me anything. i give people the option to tell me no, therefore helping me becomes their decision, not mine. every time someone is generous and helps me out, it just proves my theory that humans are instinctly-good and wouldnt need money to work and live productive lives.

    i dont know if i told you, but i left my mothers house for good now. i had gone to stay with my exgirlfriend(who thinks im crazy, like my mother) but she wont permit me to stay there either. shes going to feel really stupid when i prove myself right to the world.
    in my exgirlfriends apartment, she has my california-king size bed, my computer and furniture i bought for her when we were together. i paid for all those things with the insurance settlement i recieved from my second head-injury. her ignorance will not let her see how much i have influenced her life. i made her happy and she cant handle the fact that the best thing that could have ever happened to her doesnt want her anymore. shes lost some weight too and wont admit it is because she has to walk to the bus stop every morning. she insists that its because i dont live with her anymore and shes not always cooking for me. its dumb of her to think that would make her lose any weight. not eating as much doesnt make you lose weight, it just doesnt make you gain any. im sure shes also sore at the fact that she will never find a man who pleased her as well as i did, sexually.

    today i walked over to this company that makes internet software and got an application. then i went to my fourth day of training at my telemarketing job. i have worked at the telemarketing place 13 times since i was 16, never longer than 3 months at a time. it has strictly been a temporary job for me. telemarketing thrives on lies and deceit and i dont want any part in it. also, the training was half-assed and the system we were learning on is very mediocre. i am positive i will impress the software company with my ideas, mainly because the software they make is what i will use to spread my knowledge, therefore i felt it safe to quit the other job.
    my friend carlos is letting me stay at his place, which is very close to a bus-stop. i hadnt thought of joining the peace-corps. that is an excellent idea and i might give it great consideration. if i cant find a stable place to live and compute, i have decided i am going to join the peace-corp, per your suggestion. people there will concur with me and i will be accepted with open arms.
    some might think i am egocentric and selfish for taking on the responsibility of saving our dying planet, but what else would everyone expect from someone who has ideas as great as mine? my time will come frank, in both our lifetimes. maybe when you see my name in lights, you will believe in me too. im gonna make you proud dad.
    ok frank, i rode the bus to the libary to check my email and i have to go catch another bus back to my friends house. once again, i hold no spite against you. may peace be with you, and pretty soon, everyone.

- victor

Next..