failurefranklin09

 

Failure Franklin 9

From :
"FRANK GRUBER"

To :
rightprotect@hotmail.com

Subject :
Re: hello frank

Date :
Fri, 08 Nov 2002 18:52:52 +0000

Hello Victor. My sincere apology for the delay in writing. Economically here the situation is getting very tough making me travel long distances to get the dripple. Am being forced to develop new strategies for survival, sales at hotels fluncked, the attendants are envious and either hide the medication or the signs. So back to the drawing board.

Last week could not sleep very well. Had two preocupations. One was a brain cancer paitient I was treating. She gained strength the first week with my tonic plants and vegetable juices and protein supplements.

But, a freak of fate destroyed her life. Her sisters came down with a bad flu which she caught and the high fever caused her to go into convulsions, she died, was only 11 years old. This was a humanitarian case, did not charge. The other thing was waking up a bout 4 a.m. with your bipolar problem in my mind. Since I have been "bipolar" all of my life I am writing you to share some insight on how to deal with this "gift." It is a gift if you learn how to channel it. Every bad thing has its good side. The vast mayority of "bipolar" patients which are not psicotic(losing touch with reality, hallucinations, etc) ARE IDEA AND PROJECT ORIENTED (THE GIFT). When they get enthused with an idea they transform it into a project and in trying to implement it intensely burn up most of their energies. So consequently, in a burned out state, they naturally become depressed. You see Son idea and project oriented people are about 2% of the population, most geniuses are counted among them. The rest of the population are basically "things" oriented. They do not mind being some one elses "slave" so long as they get the "good things of life!" In a World that is basically "thing oriented" (capitalistic) the eduational system is geared mostly to their needs, leaving people like us, stranded and out of environmental context. Basically, then,we make an effort to become "self made men." Some times we succeed, other times we fail. The bad thing then is not being by polar for which society has a natural bias against, but rather not being "realistic" in our goals and behavior. Yes, even impossible things can be achieved, if the strategy is correct and we take things step at a time. Son its a waste of time to make people and the World in our own image and thinking, it takes humanity decades and centuries to catch up, they must have time. The important thing is to set up " an example" yourself as a model of success even if it is on a small scale, once the seed is planted others like you will water it and it will grow into a strong tree, hopefully, of life!

The other important thing about bipolarity that I can share with you is the need for using your naturally stubborn nature to your advantage by setting up your independent business. It should be wholesale as wholesale business frees up your time for recharging yourself(depressed state). Example. When in a "manic" fast activity phase I make medicine and go out and leave it on consignment( almost everyone accepts on consignment). The key is having a very low cost. By the time I am through going on the route, the depression sets in. From the previous expansion I saved enough for food, then I consume it, then go out again 15 days later to collect what was sold of what I left on consignment and leave more product. The advantage is that the stores that accept my product do the worst part of the work, the "slave part." They stand or sit behind a counter up to 16 hours a day waiting for the client. And as they collect little by little the sales of my product they end up giving me two thirds of that income! So the bipolar type has the advantage when he discovers that wholsale business frees up his time and increases his revenue. Example, it may take me at most 5 days to do a route visiting dozens of clients. Doing two routes a months means that in sales I consume only ten days of the 30. And in production for the whole month only 5 days. Thus I actively work only half of the time, the other half is for recharging my depressed state. A complication of being by polar is being " boxed in" by circumstances such as family and friends that do not understand by polarity and insist one slave the whole month. Now you can appreciate more why I want you to come to Panama to learn with me my bipolarity survival techniques. So we cannot overnight do away with capitalism. For the time being share your profits with them so they can do what they do best, be the "slaves to the system." It will free up your time to do what you do best, think with useful ideas to society which can bear fruit in the future. However, we still have to work, each one of us giving the best of ourselves to the World and humanity.

Another thing not to forget is God, the Supreme Lord. With him in our hearts we are humans. Without him we are mere opportunistic intelligent animals. He is the source of life and lasting enlightenment. I hope the enlightenment shared with you will be of some value. next week, hopefully, will send you a 20 dollar bill. Also, the sample of oil, arthritis, I promised. Hope U.S. Customs lets it arrive at your address. Still continue to work on the mayor transaction. God Bless your Soul, Victor!

======================================================================================

From: "victor gruber"
To: survivaloil@hotmail.com
Subject: my awesome day..
Date: Sat, 16 Nov 2002 06:41:12 -0600

wow, another awesome day. who wouldve thought getting fired could be so much fun? yesterday, i went in to work and was terminated(see report). this morning i woke up around 3am because i had crashed out around 8pm the night before. my mom was on the computer and i was exhausted from walking all day.

i stayed on the computer sending out my mails to different rooms on aol. lastly, i wrote up a report about my termination at the computer shop yesterday. it came out to be about 4 pages long and it contained a very detailed side to the story. the truth. i found a disk and put the text file on it. i thought since i need to go get my check today, i might as well see if they can print out this report for me and have the owner of the company read it.

around 8am i decided i was going to have a productive day. for some time now, ive been wanting to rent a p.o. box for a money-making idea of mine. i was expecting the p.o. box to be around 60 bucks, and i got paid $150 last friday. i had used the money for food and other things and was left only with about $65 for the p.o. box. when i had checked the other day on my lunch hour, the postal worker told me there werent any #2 boxes available, but there might be later on in the week.

so i grabbed my walking stick and headed off to the bus stop 10 minutes away. the 622 came on time and i transferred to the 605 at the grocery store. we werent that far from the grocery store when i got the idea to get off and walk through the trails in o.p. schnabel park. i had learned of that shortcut recently. i went on a nature hike through the park almost everyday i was working at the computer shop.

if i didnt go on the hike, i would have to wait 40 minutes at the other bus stop waiting for the bus that takes me to work. so anyway, i cut through the park to prue rd. while i was walking on the pavement, i thought of a clever quote to add to my collection: "Sidewalks suck when you're wearing boots. Give me a dirt-trail any day." i finally made it to the bus stop. since my moms dirty house ate my watch weeks ago, i didnt know what time it was but i assumed it had been around half an hour.

the 604 finally came and i rode it to the computer shop. it was almost 9. the guys at the shop get paid on friday, so i was gonna see if my second-to-last check was there. i walked in the shop and i saw rocky, one of the know-it-all(so he thinks) technicians. he said hello. i also saw a big box of donuts and i asked rocky if i could have one and he agreed. i pulled out my disk and asked him to print something out for me. he happily agreed and even made me two copies. i asked him if hed like to read it real quick and he said sure. when he finished reading it he told me, "dude, i dont know what to say. i dont have a voice in this." i told him i understood, that i just wanted him to read it. i also told him, "you know who i would like to read this? robert, the owner of the company." rocky said he would make sure robert got a copy. im going to call on monday and see what kind of reaction i get when the owner finds out about his disgraceful team. read the report and this will make more sense.

i asked rocky if he knew what time checks would be in and he told me at lunch time. i was bummed out a bit, i thought i had to wait 3 more hours. just then, rocky told me he would check with kay, the lady who gives out paychecks. soon afterwards, kay came out with my 40-hour check for $240. hooray.

so now i had more money and i needed to cash my check somewhere. i considered walking to the other side of the highway and going to the grocery store where i had cashed my $150 check last week, but that was a bit far. i then got the idea to walk 3 miles to the telemarketing place where i used to work. the inbound department gets paid on fridays too, and the check-cashing vans are always in the parking lot. i wasnt sure if they would cash a check that wasnt from the telemarketing place, but it gave me a destination. also, i had just applied there yesterday(again) and was supposed to start work today. i had some important things to do so i needed to go buy and reschedule for a training class next week. so i was gonna try and kill two birds with one stone.

so i took off walking to silicon. i walked a couple blocks and i spotted someones credit card on the ground. it was in grass, so the person it belongs to probably didnt notice it drop. "wow, what luck, i wonder what i can do with this?"

itt tech, where i was a student for 30 days, was coming up. i was craving a cigarette so i walked to the campus and went to the designated smoking area in the back. there were lots of students out there smoking. i rolled a cigarette and noticed my bottle was out of water. i put the cigarette down in the ashtray and walked inside the school, leaving my walking stick by the table i had been sitting at. i went inside and refilled my bottle at the water fountain. when i came back outside, i saw this guy holding my stick and talking to other dudes. he looked at my and asked me if the stick belonged to me. i told him it did, but he could play with it if he wanted. he smiled and asked me what i needed a stick for. i told him, "hey, you never know when you need a counter-balance. it helps me walk. when you use your upper body to move yourself forward, you walk faster, further and you dont get as tired. also, what if i get attacked by a dog or something?"

by then, a group of people had crowded around and i thought, "cool, i have an audience." i told them that i was just walking by and had stopped to smoke a cigarette. i let them know that i had attended school there for 30 days back on september of 2001, but i withdrew when i saw how big a joke it was. one guy laughed and agreed with me. i then started telling them about my plan to get rid of money and bring world peace. they immediately thought i was crazy, except this one guy. he told me he thinks about things like that all the time. i asked the group, "would you work for free if all your needs were already taken care of, so you wouldnt be bored at home all day, provided you had a job you enjoyed?" they all said yes. i finished smoking and told them peace and drive carefully.

while i was walking around the building i saw two guys walking outside. i asked them, "hey, if you guys are gonna split, you think you can take me to west telemarketing, its not that far." they apologized and told me that they were just walking right next door. i told them, "thanks anyway, well, these boots are made for walking." they lauged and i said goodbye.

i walked about ½ mile to the back of the telemarketing place. i had cleared out a trail along the fence of the apartments there(ask me for the trail story) and walked to my old place of work. i walked down the hill and went up to one of the check-cashing vans. i asked the lady if she would be able to cash a paycheck from anywhere else other than that place. she asked me to see the check and my id. bam, cash baby.

so i now had a whopping $300 in my wallet. i decided i was gonna ride the bus to the uhaul place and see if i could offer it to them to let me have some of my shit back. money talks you know. they had already told me if i gave them $1,000, ¼ of what i owe them, that i could have all my stuff back and just make payments on the remainder of the debt. well little do they know that if i get my stuff back, im taking off again and they can try and catch me.

with my possesions that theyre holding, is my old keychain. on my keychain is a spare key to chasitys, my axes, apartment. if i had that key, i could just walk in one day while she is at work and take back my computer and bed that she wont give back(because she thinks im crazy too).

when i got to the uhaul place, i asked for al, the storage manager. the kid behind the desk told me to hold on and walked off. when he came back, he told me that al wasnt there. for some reason, i dont believe him. i think al was there all along, but dennis o'conner, the guy i talked to that was cutting me that deal, had probably contacted him to tell him not to let me have anything without $1,000. i asked him if he knew what time he was supposed to return and he told me no. i said, "ok, ill just hang out around here and try in every 30 minutes, its very important that i talk to him. you guys have all my stuff in storage." the kid said, "i know your story." then he paused for a minute, like trying to figure out the next lie. he said, "here, let me write down our telephone number and you can just call and check if hes here or not. i told him fine and walked outside and across the street to the bus stop. just then it dawned on me, "hey, im at the main office, i should call dennis o'conner and tell him i have $300 and if i paid them that much, if they could hold off auctioning my shit december 2."

i walked back to the uhaul place and asked to borrow the phone. i pulled out my pocket-calender and told the girl behind the counter to dial the 800 number for me. an operator answered and asked me what extension i wanted. i told her 161, dennis o'conner please. dennis answered the phone and i explained to him that i was at the main office here in san antonio, and that i had some money to give them. i asked him if i gave them $250, if they would not auction my shit on december 2nd. i always thought money talks, but i was wrong in this instance because he said, "nope, we need $1,000, you stole our truck." i told him, "i didnt steal anything, i just borrow it a little longer than i was supposed to. now if i had broken into it, hotwired it and taken off, then i could understand you thinking i stole it. and besides, im trying to save the planet here, give me a damn break." he then said, "i am giving you a break by financing 75% of your debt. all i ask is $1,000 and you can get your stuff back and we'll work out a payment plan for the remainder."

i had really been hoping that me offering them some cash would work, but oil well. to tell you the truth, as long as i got my adidas soccer shoe bag back, which you cant buy in the states, or even in germany anymore, i would be happy again. screw the rest of my stuff. i had kept everything in that bag. my cd player, cd's, first-aid kit, pens, a small knife, napkins, toothbrush/paste and a whole lot of other stuff that comes in handy. it was a total survival bag. if i had that back i would take off to california again. thats what im waiting for, to see if i can get any of my stuff back.

well, anyway, i told mr o'conner that he had made himself crystal clear and wished him a good day. i then walked outside and sat down, rolled a cigarette and waited for the bus. i got the idea to go talk to the lawyer that lives in front of chasity's apartments. i wanted some legal counsel on what i could do about my stuff. then i thought after i talk to the lawyer, i can go over to chasitys, climb up in her balcony and visit with my son/dog, stuart. i knew she would be at work but i missed stuart so much i just wanted to see him, even if it was just through the sliding glass door.

so i got on the #4 bus to north star mall then transferred to the 534 that went to the lawyers office on wurzbach. right before i-10, i noticed there was a GNC nutrition center there. hey, i needed to go there so i wrote it down in my calender. when i got to the lawyers office i didnt see his mercedes in the parking lot, but i went and checked anyway. i asked the receptionist, "is mr. bass here?" she told me no and i said thanks anyways and left.

i walked across the street, and through chasitys apartments to hers in the back. maybe today would be my lucky day and she would be home, so i knocked. no one answered, i didnt even hear stuart barking or anything. i thought he was probably crashed out under my bed. i climbed into the balcony and starting calling stuart. he never came. i couldnt see inside very well because the vertical venetian blinds were drawn. :[ i rolled up a cigarette and started smoking it. all of a sudden, theres stuart! aww, it had been over a month since i saw him. he was all licking the glass and whining. i miss him so much.

i wasnt sure what time chasity got off of work, but it was like 3:00pm or something. i was hoping she would come home and let me visit with stuart, but i got bored of waiting. i also remembered the GNC place closeby.

you see, not too long ago, when i was hungry i found this big can of this stuff called "muscle blast 2000". it said complete nutrition on it, so i would just mix some with milk or water and drink those for meals. hey, i wasnt hungry anymore and i was eating right. what do i need to eat regular food for?

so i walked over to the GNC on the other side of I10. as i was walking there, i thought of another cool quote: "If you know how to do it, more power to you". i walked inside and told the girl, "ok, let me explain to you my situation. i am an avid walker. i dont have a car, thats how i save all my money. now i got hooked on this stuff my brother had and im all out. it said complete nutrition, so i just ate that when i was hungry. one can lasted me two weeks. i was wondering if you guys had any." she asked me if i remembered the name and i told her i didnt, but i would recognize it if i saw it. so she invited me to look around. i told her, "umm, it didnt seem like it would be that expensive. to tell you the truth, it looked like something they would sell at walmart or something." she was all, "well you could go look there." i told her, "nah thats ok, i dont feel like walking to walmart. i guess i want a replacement then."

she started telling me all about the GNC products they had, except the price. i asked her how much the first one she pointed out was and she checked. $30. i told her i didnt want to spend that much money on it. so she went down the aisle describing each one and telling me how great they were. i asked her if there was any risk in not eating solid food and just eating those shakes. she told me no, that it was even healthier to live like that. the next one was $50. i was getting frustrated. she showed me a couple more that were out of the question and i finally gave up and started to leave. "ahh, i guess ill look it up online or something, there has to be a better deal than here." just then, she bent down and pulled out some of the exact same stuff i had been looking for. muscle blast 2000. she went, "oh, heres something else, and hey, its only $15! a smile came across my face and i said sold. i even had 3 flavors to choose from. that bitch knew about the cheaper stuff the whole time. she was just trying to sell me the more expensive stuff. fucking money.

wow, a 2-week supply of food for $15. you cant beat that with my stick. i paid her and she put it in a big plastic bag. i hung the bag over the end of my walking stick and carried it over my shoulder. my stick was the perfecet counter balance and i could even hold it there without using my hands.

i went outside to wait for the bus. i didnt know what time it came so i rolled a cigarette. i smoked it all and the bus came right after i had finished it. when i got on the bus, guess who i see sitting there. chasity. she was coming home from work. we smiled at each other and instinctly gave each other a hug. she told me, "i was thinking of you today." she still seemed a little freaked out by my presence. i asked her, "can i please see stuart?" she said yes, i was happy. :]

we got to her apartments and got off the bus. when we walked to her apartment, she told me to wait outside, that she would bring stuart outside with his leash. i waited on the steps and then she opened the door and stuart rushed at me. his tail was wagging and he was so happy to see me. he was licking me like crazy and i bent down and gave him a great big hug. we missed each other so much.

just then, chasity said she was hungry and she didnt have any food in her apartment. i asked her if she wanted to go to jack in the box, right across the street. i told her i had money and i would pay for her. she thought about it and said, "i want taco bell." whatever i told her, itll be my treat, i remember all those times you cooked for me back when we were together. she was surprised at my generosity.

so she went inside to do something before we left to go eat. stuart stayed outside with me the whole time. when chasity was ready, she pulled stuarts leash to come inside. stuart started growling at her and cuddled up to me some more. he didnt want me to leave. i embraced stuart and told him, "i know boy, were gonna go though, i wish i could take you with us." i then stood up and walked up the stairs to the door. stuart walked inside the apartment, but when he saw that i wasnt entering, he tried going outside again. chasity tugged on his leash but he resisted. i told stuart goodbye and went down the stairs. chasity locked her door and followed me.

we started joking around like we always had, but whenever i tried telling chasity about my ideas, she just wouldnt listen. she said, "oh, i thought you were sane again." oh well, i thought. she'll see soon. we walked to the taco bell and she asked for two cheesy gordita crunches. thats something chasity has ordered for years now. thing is, they dont have em on the menu so you gotta know about em. i hadnt eaten one since i had been with chasity, so i ordered a total of 4. chasity pulled out some money and i told her not to worry about it. she insisted again then went, "wait, how much money do you have?" she saw all the bills in my wallet and took her three dollars back. i told her, "yeah, but i need as much of that as possible for my debt with uhaul, but i dont mind paying for the food." she said ok, and only took back a dollar.

we ate and cracked jokes like back in the old days. she told me, "you know, youre the only one that can make me laugh." i told her that wasnt true, because we were laughing at something she had said. i said, "you can make yourself laugh. give yourself some credit." she went, "yeah! i dont need anyone else." "thatta way to strive for the independance chasity.", i told her.

when chasity and i seperated, i was more than willing to remain friends with her. i care about her a lot. we had just changed and werent compatible as lovers anymore, but i still valued her friendship. i learned a lot living with her for 4 years. you just cant stop caring about somebody youve grown so close to. it was chasity, that started having a problem with the way i was. i have been like i am the whole time we were together and she accepted me then. why wasnt she now? maybe it was because i wasnt with her anymore. i dunno.

well anyway, i asked chasity if i could burn a cd of some files i needed off my computer. she told me that my computer wasnt working. "what do you mean its notworking?", i asked. she said she thinks it has a virus. i asked her if i could go inside and try to fix it, or at least determine what was wrong with it. she told me, "oh, ive already had it looked at by someone else." i replied, "well, you havent had me look at it, let me." for some reason, she didnt want me going in her apartment so she just ignored my request.

chasity also told me she was leaving for florida in the middle of december and if i would be able to come get my shit out of her apartment. i told her, "of course, youre gonna give it back to me?" it seems that now that she doesnt have a use for my computer, shell let me have it. what a crook.

so i walked up to fredericksburg road and waited for the 91. my bottle was empty and was out of tobacco, so i crossed the street and went to the store and got my stuff. i went back outside and caught the 91 to the telemarketing place. they had just opened up a subway sandwich shop there and i went in and got a yummy soup. i waited for the bus that went to my friend bob's house. i showed up at his house and he let me in. i asked him if i could mix me up some of my health shake stuff and he told me if i washed a glass. it was about 6:45pm. bob told me that his girlfriend's cousin from jamaica had come to visit and he brought some weed that his girlfriend was gonna bring over when she got off work at 10. i asked bob if i could crash there if i washed some dishes or something. he said ok.

i went to the garage and smoked a cigarette and just chilled out there fora while. now, i was almost out of weed myself and i wanted to buy a bud or two from bob when his girlfriend got there at 10pm, but i didnt really want to spend the night there. so i asked bob if he could hold some for me for tomorrow, and he said he didnt know.

so at 7:20pm, i started walking towards the bus stop, where the bus gets there at 7:36. i had found a shortcut to the bus stop through the ditch and some woods, so i took off. my feet were aching from all the walking i had done today, so i took my time walking there. when i finally got to the bus stop, i was paranoid that i missed the bus. remember, i dont have a watch. i sat at the bench, rolled a cigarette and started smoking. it seemed like i had missed the bus, so as i sat there smoking and cars were driving by, i just stuck my thumb out and smiled. just as i had finished smoking my cigarette, the bus finally comes. i boarded it and looked at the time. it was 7:50. damnit, thats what time the bus is supposed to be at the grocery store so i can transfer to the bus that takes me only 10 minutes away from home.

i rode the bus to the grocery store and went inside and used the courtesy phone. i called my moms house and the machine came on. i figured she was on the computer and it took her a long time to answer, so i dialed again. sure enough, she answered on the first ring. i told her, "mom, is there any way you can pick me up from the grocery store? ive been walking all day and my feet are real sore. if you dont feel like it, i can always walk." she let out a sigh and said, "ok, ill be right there."

i waited for her at the bench at the far side of the store. about 10 minutes passed and i saw her car. she paused on the other side of the store, assuming thats where id be waiting, and i saw her turn around. i was pissed, "she better not leave", i thought. i grabbed my stuff and my stick and walked out to the parking lot. she had backed up into a space and was gonna just wait for something to happen, i guess.

well, anyway, we got home and i was already dog-tired, so i laid down on the bed in the computer room. before i know it, my mom comes in and wants to use the computer. it was like 11:00pm. i just ignored her and pretended to be asleep already. for some reason, the computer wasnt booting up right. she got all mad and started blaming me, telling me it was from all that crap i put on there. i told her that i had my own hard drive attached, and that my shit didnt interfere with hers. that she didnt know anything about what she was talking about. she started swearing she was gonna take the computer away, but we all know that threat is so empty. my mom is hooked on the computer and she couldnt live without it. i told her, "do it already. what are you waiting for?"

she asked me why it had been turned off and i told her because i got that same error that she did, and it needed to rest. she came back with, "oh, i thought you said you didnt need to turn it off." "yeah, as long as its working fine, you dont, but now that its having problems, it needs to rest." i dont know how many times ive told her that computers arent perfect, their man-made machines and sometimes they fuck up for no apparent reason. she just doesnt understand it. its common-sense, no?

just like now, i had started typing up this paper last night and the computer froze, so i saved it and decided to crash because i was tired. when i woke up this morning, i unplugged the extra hard drive i had installed, hoping that would make a difference, and i was right. everything works fine now.

ok, that pretty much wraps it up for my cool day. peace.

- victor

======================================================================================

>From: "victor gruber"
>To: survivaloil@hotmail.com
>Subject: the proverbial-victor
>Date: Mon, 18 Nov 2002 13:59:05 -0600
>
>hello frank, i just went through my collection of quotes and compiled a list of just mine. i had some new ones thought up and i thought my stuff would be more effective if i condensed it down a bit. i also quoted myself from all my reports. so here you go, concentrated-victor. let me know what you think:
>
>Proverbial-Victor (revised 111802)

SENT FRANKLIN MY QUOTES

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From :
"FRANK GRUBER"

To :
rightprotect@hotmail.com

Subject :
Re: the proverbial-victor

Date :
Wed, 20 Nov 2002 00:29:01 +0000

Hello Victor, just briefed through your list of truths, I agree with most, some are difficult to swallow but its your creativity, you have a right to your view of life. Most people would not agree very much with my way. With respect to work, well, be perserverent, get another job and save enough to do your own thing. Sooner or later you need to find something that is original that will give daily bread, if not life may consider you falling short of perserverance. At least here one can fish in two oceans and go out and sell ones catch if one is lucky. The fact is that life is difficult for most people, the american dream is just only that for most people a dream. Tomorrow in the morning I am sendind you 10 tiny vials of antiarthritic oil, rub it on after showers only before bedtime and after breakfast. I am now back in Chorrera plugging away on the sales of my inheritance rights, being perserverance is the only way. The ecnonomy is about to collapse, if things do not drastically improve here I forsee a revolution or chaos in Panama in february or March. I did the rounds and my sales are 70% down from last month. I will do everything possible to send you the 20 dollar bill tomorrow yet it depends on what sales I have tomorrow on my route. How are things going with you and your mom and sisters, improving any? I have faith in your ability to make it in your own way. Be patient with your ownself and keep plugging away at job or business possibilities. Thanks for keeping me informed as to what has been happening in your life, tomalo con calma y fe. Say hello to your mother for me, Franklin

======================================================================================

From :
"FRANK GRUBER"

To :
rightprotect@hotmail.com

Subject :
Re: the proverbial-victor

Date :
Wed, 20 Nov 2002 17:50:54 +0000

Victor, have spent about an hour looking through your past letters trying to find the one where you send me your mother´s mailing address. I know its Autum St. but do not have the rest can you please send it to me now. I am trying to get the oil out to you today.

======================================================================================

From :
"FRANK GRUBER"

To :
rightprotect@hotmail.com

Subject :
Re: hehe, yet another chapter..

Date :
Wed, 20 Nov 2002 18:01:44 +0000

Hello Victor, O.K., found your moms mailing address, the oil will be on its way in a few minutes.....if I receive some money later in the day, tomorrow the twenty dollars will follow. With regards to the major transaction pending it is still posible , let you know more next week as I have to return to follow up on this matter. God Bless You Son!

======================================================================================

From :
"FRANK GRUBER"

To :
rightprotect@hotmail.com

Subject :
Re: the proverbial-victor

Date :
Wed, 20 Nov 2002 20:31:08 +0000

Dear Victor, sad news. Just came back from the Chorrera post office where my package containing the samples of anti arthritic oil was rejected on the grounds that it can break and spoil other mail. First they rejected on the basis that I could not tape close the box, so I pasted it then they rejected it on the stated grounds. Also, there is the question whether U.S. Customs would allow a botanical substance in the U.S.A. without prior registration in the U.S. Market. It may even be illegal to send botanical essenses without FDA approval. However, I am willing to try again next week via Miami Express when I return to Panama City. However, since the small box is addressed to you I do not know what inconveniences this introduction of foreign botanical medicine may bring you. Are you in much pain? Can you live without this alliviating oil?

Since I will not be able to write you for about a week, there are a few points I would like to review with you. First, its a real shame you lost your job. As I recall part of the reason was that you where preparing(rolling a cigarette) for a friend. Was that cigarette marijuana(arround a public school?) Hope that is not the case as I would want to believe your common sense is still of some value.

Once upon a time, about 10 years ago, I came up with the "perfect idea" to recuperate the mental health of mental patients. The idea involved immerseing the patient in nature and making him rely on nature for almost all of his survival needs. Mental patients usually overrespond to negtative stimuli, but when their environmental context changes from a city human environment to a rural natural environment then their focus of attention is put on more positive aspects of life, yes even survival. I used this method on myself to desintoxicate from modern civilization. Maybe someday you might want to give it a try. When Ada and I recently arrived at San Antonio at a remote picnic ground as we where leaving noticed a man sneak out of the bushes to eat the leftovers left on the picnic tables. Then I could not understand what would lead a person to lead that kind of a life. Well, now I understand. Misunderstanding by mainstream society of the "out of series person."

For society its easier and convenient to place a label on these people and put them away if possible. However, the better option is "self exile from society." However, the most intelligent and productive self exile as possible! Nothing like owning or habitating one´s own private island, whether it be a mountain or a real island on a lake or sea. On it one would transfer a complete library and satelite connected computer and of course a few female companions to do the normal chores.

On that island one could raise orchids and medicinal plants. If you do a quick survay on the value of orchids you will find that some exotic types sell for over 500 dollars a plant. Most tropical islands or mountains come with their own store of valuable orchids and medicinal plants, its simply a matter of organizing the business, finding the export markets. It would be interesting to see what are the import procedures on orchids and medicinal plants. The great advantage of this "nursery business" is while you sleep "or somke pot" the plants are growing on their own. On your little island who is going to fire you, you are your own BOSS! The island of course should not be too far from the shore. The Panama Bocas del Toro Province is loaded with dozens of paradaisical islands, some still wild, others with owners. Off "Arenosa" on the shore of Gatun lake, there are hundreds of tiny islands almost for the taking, and the lake area is loaded with crawfish that weigh up to half a pound, plus bass galore. But it takes an adventures person to learn the ropes of this somewhat dangerous environment. The alligators there are well fed by the millions of fish,nevertheless, its like Africa, they are big and can be mean. Many of the Gatun lake islands are habitated. I learned of the existence of Pedro near "lagartijero grande." He is supposed to be a medicineman likemyself of U.S. descent. Holds many of the lakes secrets. Near his location there is supposed to be a plant that the locals there eat the root and chop with their machetes all day long without getting tired!

Eventually, I will go into the gatun lake area and even the wild and dangerous Darien province next to colombia, who knows maybe that is where I shall last be seen by human eyes. In the more remote and dense areas of Panama there is a creature which has a tail like a monkey, claws like a cat and face like a dog. Its called the "jujuna negro." It attacks in groups and eats people. The only safe place as the prevailant folklore has it is a rock or bolder in the middle of a river as it hates water. I once spoke to hunters that had encountered this dog like creature that climbs trees. They stated that until they shot(with shot guns) the last of these little beasts) they just kept on attacking. In the library I looked up jujuna, one came up, a brown one which was rather inofensive. If you like these adventures its important to properly prepare to go into the Panama jungles. In Darien province there is a snake that stands on its tail and propels itself forwart like an arrow on to by passing natives on land or water. It is extremely poisonous. O.K. so I went on into the negative side of the jungles, there are many islands that are much less dangerous and a lot of fun to explore and live on. On such an island you can accumulate fish in storage square screen containers submerged into the water or river shrip(crawfish). Once a week one can bring these into the market and collect some cash. Let me know when you are about ready to change environments. Possibly by the end of summer(may) I could send you the ticket if you are interested. However, if we are to live together I would appreciate your assisting my work in varous ways at least 3 hours a day. These are indeed hard times and team work means successful survival. If I can integrate you into my current family environment that would be great but if there are too many interpersonal difficluties, well as stated earlier, I will help you try to make it on your own. Making it on your own here means surviving but enjoying ones life more. In spite of all my economic shortcomings I have been happier in Panama these 22 years much more so than the 4 years spent in the closed society of vega baja. Victor, I sincerely do not believe that the "american way" is meant for you as you are not basically materialistic. You do not have to revolutionize the U.S., just change to another country where you can find life more interesting and from there begin to make your contribution to humanity. Go out and travel, get to know the World, mature. Its part of growing up, getting to know people everywhere. The germans, a great many of them as soon as they graduate from highschool, take a few years off and hitchhike arround the globe, before continuing their higher education. But they usually do it in couples, your more accepted where ever you go. Do not forget the book by the famous norwegian who traveled in the 1940s from Peru to easter island on a boat made of reids, he proved that inca influences traveled to the polynesian islands but in so doing made himself famous with his discoveries. Before going on such adventures look and find a marketing item of arts and craft nature which you can readily manufacture from materials at hand and sell easily to cover your day to day expenses. Also do not get to intensely involved with people, the vast mayority of people have to go their own karmic ways, too much attachement only makes it worse. You are a late bloomer but when you bloom your will bloom very very well and beautiful. These where words of my father Victor for me, they are also for you, a person that in final analysis has to be his own boss even if on a shoe string. The great U.S.A. is not make today for such people. There is nothing wrong with poverty. What is wrong is not learning how to live poverty wisely and even enjoying it. God Bless you Victor FOREVER!

======================================================================================

From :
"FRANK GRUBER"

To :
rightprotect@hotmail.com

Subject :
Re: my awesome day..

Date :
Mon, 25 Nov 2002 22:35:58 +0000

Hello Victor, just read your very very long letter, about your adventure in the woods and your idea of sleeping on the top of the hill. There are a few tips I want to give you as you proceed on longer trips and adventures. Join some differrent "nature societies," obtain a camera and binoculors appropriate for bird watching. Eventually you will run into trouble makers in the woods be they forest ranges, police, criminals, etc. Immediately they want to know what you are doing there

Some will buy the idea that you just like the peace of nature walks, others may think your hiding from authorities, etc, but if you carry a book of differrent kinds of birds and say your doing an inventory of the birds present in your area for the local bird watching society, well thats differrent, no one can be all that bad if they just watch birds! You might even go as far as the doctor prescribed this kind of activity for the good of your nervous system, etc. Talking about nature with someone is always a good conversation piece to get to know people and it is good for the heart and soul!

I am glad you have the tape recorder. Had I had one today I could have recorded my brother John's conversation where he ceeded his rights to inheritance of my mother's house to me as he has his own in the volcanic crater community of el valle de anton. Lukily there was a couple of witnesses. I am in chorrera again for a few days trying to sell my rights of inheritance. Frankly I am pessimistic about the prospects but I know that perserverance is the key, with belief and action every good thing is possible! I am very sorry and pissed off with myself about not being able to send you at least the twenty dollars. I know I owe you much more than that! This is what happens when one burns up ones blessings early in life, good breaks are scarce in life. There is something which is within my means. That is sending you a copy of some of my small but useful books on herbs, especially those which I know that also exist in the U.S. No one can stop me from sending you that survival material. Having such a little manual while sleeping in the park also gives you a good excuse for being there, you are studying and inverntorying the medicinal plants of the park. You will be surprised at how many good looking women are fascinated with the study of herbs, its a topic that never ends with them. There is probably some club or society in San Antonio who dedicates meetings to the study of medicinal plants.

The fellow renting my mothers property that has a lot of months paid up made me an interesting business proposal. To exchange a pick up for 10 additional months of rent! I came into chorrera principally to take him up on his offer, tonight we have a m eeting to discuss this trade. With a vehicle I can establish a more comprehensive survival route exchanging medicines for chicken, and other farm products, etc.

I am currently looking at some very interesting property I can get cheap, however, until the money comes in, I cannot buy, but where there is a WILL THERE IS A WAY! Hope that by the time you come and visit with me(look forward to that possibility) that I will have one or more lots of land to call our own. My idea is to give you a little piece of land next to a creek where you can swim. To have a peaceful environment where you can be yourself and the "hell" with the World. Not that I wish people to go to hell but rather the great mayority of humanity doesn't care whether you or I live. It would only take me about 3 months to teach you to survive in the tropics of central and south america. You can take your survival course with me and then have more than half of the continent to explore and a place to come back to to call your own. Please do not wait very long. The time is drawing close in which I will disappear from the eyes of "modern civilization."

Life with the " aborigines" of Panama is more rewarding than living with the socalled civilized man. Since we are what we think, eat and the reflection of our environment its no surprise that a greater percent of our being is becoming disharmonized(crazy.) Eventually we express with our facial features and gestures what we are inside. Eventually we cannot hide, we become open books to others. The sad thing is that society, modern capitalism is corrupt and failing and we are all a reflection of our own madness. So learning the survival ropes of living a primitive but happy life has its merits so long as we add something valuable to the primitive environment. Hardly no one messess with the curanderos because they are needed in primitive society. Nevertheless among the primitive people there are those who can be very very devious. The important thing is for them and local authorities to perceive you as being on a mission especially if you represent some group, church, university biology investigation program, etc. There is respect even for those amateur people studying insects.

A bunch of caterpillars once taught me an important lesson. I was convalessing from a severe nervous and physical breakdown back in 1988.

In the back yard of my aunt lilys house(which I no longer visit they have changed for the worse, become more materialistic, her daughter has tried to steal my brother johns el valle house with the pretext of giving him assistance, while in a hammock a group of "white" fluffy caterpillars caught my attention, they where moving single file accross the yard. I wondered to myself what whould happen if I took the leader and placed him at the rear of the line. Thus I did so and in amazement watched how he increased his speed, energy level and worked his way back to the number ONE position! I realized then that leaders are not so much made, they are born! They are born and develop their God given talent to lead! This is why some people cannot hold a job working for others, they are born to lead, even if they only lead in their own personal lives. The idea that good followers eventually make good leaders is not necessarily always so. Only the person with the God given talent and mission CAN LEAD. Getting back to nature there is great money to be made as a nature photographer, people like national geographic magazine pay some big bucks for some unique nature pictures and film. I once learned about an ex g.i. who had come back with a mental disability from the viet nam war. He inturned himself in the wilderness of florida arround the lakes. He discovered and photographed a black panther thought to be extinct in the entire U.S.A. He spent 3 years in the wilderness killing several birds with one stone. He regained his health and fame as well. My goal as a child growing up was to be a forest ranger. I will be the freelance forest ranger of panama in my last years and will go by th e nick name " El Viejo de Monte " arround whom there are many legends, he is something like the phantom, some people believe he still exist others that he is a spirit. His task is to cure the sick animals in the jungles with herbs. So I am trying to regain my health to become myself. Marisol understands me, even my goals, and understands that I will try to stay with her as long as possible especially while Frank jr. is small yet she does realize that I have my calling that it will at times take me far from her. She already knows how to make some of my key formulas for her own survival should somethig happen to me. But I shall try to harmonise my continued mission with my role as father and husband. Its my deteriorating health which forces me to adopt the "viejo de monte" life style as modern civilization is poison to my soul. This is so because I reflect the prevailing energy of an area. If its positive I grow strong, if negative it reflects in my mind, body and soul and kills me.

So in chorrera I am like a diver waiting to leave this town for fresh jungle air. Some day you will be a great novelist. You may even be interested in writing the story of "el viejo de monte de Panama." He is a creature only of the central provinces. This next year I hope to finally perfect my technique for preserving the "holy ghost orchid of Panama." Son, there are better jungles than the one you are curren tly walking----the concrete jungle of San Antonio but its creeks and woods are a good start. Take care, lets keep in touch, hope everyday is better for you in m any ways. I am glad you got your legal case dismissed! Your pops Franklin

About snakes, when you come to panama I will teach you how to make viper snake bite antidotes.

======================================================================================

From: "victor gruber"
To: survivaloil@hotmail.com
Subject: Re: my awesome day..
Date: Tue, 26 Nov 2002 12:38:34 -0600

frank,

things are going a little better. im not going to worry about my belongings that uhaul has. theyre just material objects which can be replaced in time. they already called and i told them i wasnt going to have the money. but, i plan to show up at the auction with $100 and see if i can get anything back. ill pay $100 for just my adidas survival bag.

about the god thing. you know my feelings on it. i wont believe in anything until it is proven to me, without a doubt. i have an abundance of faith in myself, thats all i need to be at peace. but hey, like i say, people can change. i doubt i will on this, but if i ever do, let it happen on its own. please, no more suggestions on that.

ada thinks im crazy. how am i expected to respect her at all when ive caught her in lies. how am i not supposed to be insulted by my own mother lying to me. i have very little respect for her. i dont know why she thinks she deserves so much. no one deserves to be as lazy as her. like ive said before, a parents true purpose is to nurture and teach their children, not just pay the bills. she does everything half-assed.

frank, im sorry to say, but visiting you in panama is low on my list of priorities. i have much work to do here first. once i deserve a real vacation, ill gladly consider the visit and the schooling. until then, i am still learning from this jungle more and more each day.

i would make this email longer, but diana was on the computer and let me off to check my mail. argh, i really miss having my own dedicated computer. oh yeah, i went to chasitys last night and hung out. my computer is not working, it needs a new video card. so, now that its of no use to her, she gladly lets me take my hard drive back. so i got all my old files and i can connect my hard drive to my moms computer and access them.

well, diana wants back on the computer,

- victor

======================================================================================

From :
"FRANK GRUBER"

To :
rightprotect@hotmail.com

Subject :
Re: my awesome day..

Date :
Tue, 26 Nov 2002 13:55:25 +0000

Hello Victor, just a small note as I hve a few errands to run this morning.

Yesterday in my lettr I mentioned the ex g.i. who discovered the extinct panther in the florida swam area. It is important to keep in mind that mother nature harbors many dangerous situation both to our bodies and souls. Panthers have a place in the world yet they are a symbol of the devil. The bible says; el anticristo vendra como leon ruñente. Also bear in mind when you are in the wilderness that many things in it like certain kinds of tress and plants and especially bats have affinity with evil spirits. Now, of course you may not believe in these things. With time you will come to understand that disincarnate entities exist and can make th emselves felt in the real World. The origines of "superstitiousness" has its bases in some elements of truth.

" Cuando el rio swena es porque piedra trae." Nature is alive in many ways and lets us know. We have "natural" spiritual defenses in our own energy field(aura) that if not harmonized properly can let in evil presenses. The use of drugs such as marijuana can punch holes in your spiritual defenses and let those influences in. No doubt you will have experiences, possibly traumatic ones because of the holes in your aura. It is within your power to h eal those holes but it takes a long time to do so. One has to learn to develop a peaceful harmonious relationship with nature without drugs to heal the aura. The greatest gift you could give God and your mother and myself is to heal your self with God's help. You may surprise her some day and in her waning days bring a measure of h appiness to her life. These things are important because I have lived throgh them. There is a sayhing °nadie aprende por cabeza ajena. Hope you are not as stubborn as I was. Love your pops Frank. Carry and read the bible when you go to your nature hideouts, it does not hurt to have access to it.

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