suicide

 

 This is from 3-24-04:

     12:30pm  I'm having a conversation with this brother right here at Travis Park.

                     Randy: "I met this young man, believe it or not, just in the last couple of minutes, I feel a lot better than I've felt in years. Just the simple words that he's told me has really opened my eyes and I feel better. It's amazing. It's really amazing. I'm glad I met you. I hope that whoever listens to this takes it seriously. Before I met this young man two minutes ago I felt miserable. I feel a lot better now. I'll leave it at that. Listen to this young man."

                      I said, "I'm always glad to be of service. I love making a difference. Hey, don't you gotta be crazy to make a difference?"

     12:40pm  Man, that was just awesome. I made this guy feel a lot better. I am a beam of lights for others to follow. He was all smiles, man.

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This is from 4-2-04

8:27pm  Cool, I found this place eventually. Right now I'm talking to James. He said a couple years ago. Wait, what was the story?

                   James: "On About October the 18th of 2002, I think it was. My grandma had passed away. A week later my grandpa went and threw me out of the house and told me that I wasn't welcome to stay there anymore. I was only downtown for about a week. I was getting pretty depressed and I started getting back in my drug habit. I started shooting up heroin. I couldn't find anywhere to go. It was dark, it was late. I stopped by Travis Park, not really familiar with the area at all, as I am now. I was currently homeless and staying down there for a while for about 2 years. Now I know everybody down there and I know my way around. Umm, Victor had stopped by and smoked with me. We started talking about my grandma and everything like that."

                   Victor: "How did I initiate the conversation? Because you were twitching or something?"

                   James: "Nah, you asked me if I was shaking. I was lying to you up front. I said, "Nah, I ain't got a problem." Then I started shaking more. I guess you saw through me because you were like, "Do you want somebody to talk to?" It amazed me that at that particular moment, you stopped my whole train of events. Because I was going to go from there to the gutter punk bridge to do my last forty units. I was planning on OD'ing with that. You sat down and talked with me and everything and calmed me down. After that, people from the Victory Outreach home came about an hour later and I went and stayed at the Victory Outreach for about three weeks. I checked myself out and got my life together. But yes, you did help me out, Victor. I just wanted to let you know that. Thank you.

     11:45pm  Dude, what a magical experience I am having tonight. I finally found the guy's trailer. It's like a little badass house they got here. There's a little magical hippie garden back here. It's right next to the San Antonio River. I couldn't believe it. This guy told me I had saved his life. Oh dude, I have a true believer. He's offering me all these resources. He's got this land right here. He owes $1800 on and when he gets that paid off it's going to be his. I can't wait to take pictures in the morning.

                     I told him, "I want you to do what I'm doing. I want you to type up your stuff. He has his own scripts, like everybody else. He's really smart. He's self-taught like I am. I really feel like I am among brethren.

                     It's going to happen soon.

                     I can't be stopped. 

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This is from 5-17-04:

 

     10:24pm  I just ran into some guy who told me, "Man, I always see you!" I told him my story. Then I went to go bum a cigarette and found a whole cigarette on the ground! That was my reward for telling my story. Thank you, Love.

     10:27pm  Anthony, the guy I just told my story to, he tells me, "Man, I'm glad you told me your story tonight. I was going to kill myself tonight." Oh shit. Just like that guy James(4-2-04, 8:27pm).

                     There is no greater feeling in the world than to make a difference like that.

                     Yeah, he was all, "I saw you at Bob Marleyfest." I changed his life. That's awesome. It just feels so good knowing that people change their minds about suicide after listening to my story.