10:15am I wish I would've hit record a long time ago. Tita, please rewind as much as you can remember.
Tita: We were talking about Victor's work on his blog last night. He added a bunch of stuff.
It has been an interesting process of unraveling how Victor's patterns have formed. Because I am outside of Victor and have observed him and seen him and it's my interest because I LOVE him, #1, as my partner I want him to be stronger and more evolved and not fall back into bad behavior or patterns that stem from childhood, but also as a human being, as me sometimes slipping into the role of his teacher, which I didn't mean to do.
I do that with everyone. I am more of a guide than a teacher. I am a teacher also because I excel at that. Victor hasn't signed up for my Aikido course yet, hehe.
Victor, when he first met me, within two days he said, when I was talking about chakras and lower frequencies, he asked me, "Can you put together a curriculum for me? I answered, "Hmm, people have been asking me to teach and guide them. I think I shall.
It has been five years plus, but that has been one of my goals. I realize that I do need to put this stuff out. I need to form a curriculum based on how I think people are. I had been real busy first with dad, until he transitioned, then with covid and finding a place to stay at after losing out on the bus.
Then the lawsuit which tied me up emotionally for a long time. Last year it was stressful when Victor and I became co-dependent.
Victor: Not co!
Tita: I stopped caring for myself and got depressed. I became an irresponsible kid and not doing the things that needed to be done, which is getting the heck out of Dodge. Bad things happened last year because of all that.
Our relationship has been tested now. Victor, I know, has alwaays been trustworthy and loyal, but we did have such a bad spot that he and I both were ready to bail. I never told him that but I was happy that maybe he would find somebody and I will suffer but then I will have the freedom to do what I want without somebody that doesn't make me feel like shit.
Victor: Victor is still ready to bail!
Tita: Part of me also thinks that would be ideal. The other part says I LOVE THIS GUY! We are having so many hardships because of finances. If I had as much coming in as I did before, none of these issues would happen, because I wouldn't depend on him.
I want to defend him, I want to because not only do I trust him, but Victor is worth it! Victor is not like his family. His mom and his siblings, I knew this from the beginning. Those were red flags how nobody in his family showed him the love he deserved.
I was like, "Shit, that sounds like it's their problem, not Victor's. From the beginning I thought they were assholes, because they can't see the guy that I do. How could they not LOVE Victor?
I told Victor only days after meeting him, "Anyone who doesn't treat you well, as wonderfully as you should be treated because you are so kind and generous and giving, if they don't treat you the same way, FUCK THEM!
I still see it!
We have had conflict over this when I think he is too nice. I want Victor to be strong, to be able to say no, to use discretion, to not be impulsive. All of these things I want, not only for the betterment of our relationship, but for him as a human. As I told him from the beginning, we have shared goals as a couple like traveling and learning and exploring.
Victor and I have an amazing connection. We love nature. We like "roughing it." We like wandering and not knowing where we are going. We like meeting new people, we like exploring different cultures. Victor and I are well-suited for each other, personality-wise, because we have many values in common. Neither of us are materialistic people.
Victor: Ummm.
Tita: We invest more in giving and loving than receiving.
Victor: Can I please interrupt you? I want to show you my daily thoughts page. I showed Tita my "treated like royalty" section I just made.
Tita: See, I was showing Victor some Facebook messages I had with his mom back when we were getting along. At first, we were getting along wonderfully, she was telling me she loved me.
Even when Laura was dealing with her daughter being hospitalized, she was calling and talking to me. We liked each other and got along splendidly. We were friends and she behaved like a good mother-in-law.
What happened? Victor and I were fighting because he had a job that he was doing for me, for the house. In the course of that job, he was a pool guy, he was an assistant of this dude who was a long time pool guy in the area. He made Victor get into a pool and scrub the black mold off. Before he got this job Victor wouldn't even touch the pool chemicals for the pool in the backyard, and Victor didn't like cleaning moss.
Victor: I DID NOT MIND IT ONE BIT! The black mold was under the water! It wasn't airborne! I was getting paid well under the table ! It was a perfect job that I would've done for half the pay!
I was bringing cash home every night!
I was helping our situation!
I still don't think I needed to exceed more money from him! I might still be helping and we might have moved away already!
Everything was going splendidly until you made me ask him for a raise!
I am angry at myself for listening to you and rocking the boat!
As if you knew the value of money!
It sure as hell wasn't you with the job.
You just couldn't handle being alone!
Tita: I totally agree that we needed the money and that it was an easy job, but what pissed me off is that this guy did not warn you, this guy had Victor doing a job that he should've paid $40 or $60 an hour to do. When Victor expressed my grievances he told Victor, "I didn't make any money that day."
I'm sitting here thinking, "Neither did Victor!"
Victor: That's where you are dead wrong! I did too make money that day! A lot more than you make any day! If only excuses were money for you, Tita. You would be loaded. Frank too.
Tita: Victor is not a child to be only getting ten dollars an hour for breathing in black mold, swimming in it, fuck you! I told Victor, "You get paid fifteen dollars an hour to do easy work, and then when it gets hard, which should be paid more IMO....
Victor: Shut up with that bullshit! Mold cannot be airborne under water! I wasn't in so much danger! I was doing something I did not mind doing! I would've done it for less money! It was easy! It was hot outside and I was swimming. It was no big deal!
Tita: I doubt you would've swam for four hours in black mold for fun.
Victor: I would if it was hot as hell as it was that day! Quit thinking you know everything!
Tita: Now here he is interrupting me like he hates me doing to him...
Victor: Just shut the hell up for a moment!
I was ensuring our future by taking these "risks!"
You don't think it would have been a good idea to not burn that bridge and keep that part time job as a backup resource? An under-the-table easy as pie job that if I ever needed money I could just call Dean up?
BUT NO! You got mad because you got left alone at home for only four or five hours a day. That was too much for you to be alone while I was busy taking care of your situation?
EXACTLY HOW YOU FLIPPED THE FUCK OUT WHEN I WENT TO TEXAS!
Tita: What really happened, in my head, in my emotions, I was sick. I had pneumonia at that time.
Victor: I am going to start calling you Mamada!
Tita: It wasn't that at all though. It was the fact that Dean didn't value your effort. That is what the crux of our problem that day. Being sick, taking medicine, having the pressure of having to come up with $5,000 for a retainer for an attorney was very stressful.
Victor: You know what they say ain't a river in Egypt, right, Mamada?
Tita: At that time I called Mamada. She misunderstood what I told her. I was stressed out about you getting upset with me and told her, "Victor is about to leave. He placed on ad on CL looking for new habitation saying he wanted to pay less than $400 a month."
I told Mamada, "I thought Victor was a good man, but him leaving when I am in this much need and physically sick, I am not sure anymore."
Right then she became defensive of him telling me, "Leave him then." In the course of that I told Ada, "Victor needs care and guidance. Do you really think that he should be out there without the care and guidance of somebody he can trust? Victor is so trusting he'll trust anyone."
I then innocently asked her, "What about with you?" She was immediately taken aback and said in Spanish, "No, here he can't live anymore." Shocked, I told her, "¿Mira que? Say what now? Are you being serious?" Ada said, "No, him here? Never again."
That ended everything. I told her, "Bueno, con eso que me estas diciendo, y veo que no tiene el ningun amistad y ni lo esteema su propia familia. Luisito acaba de visitar Monterey y ni una llamada.
She got mad saying, "No piensass que el tenia obligaciones con su trabajo? I told her, "Eso no importa. Si el estaba en California por lo menos pudo llamar a su hermano. Pues yo veo que no hay amor y cariño a Victor. Lo tratan como si fuera nada."
She got all butt-hurt and even sent me an email about how she has been crying and how I dare I say those things. "My son knows I will always be there for him!"
We have the mails and texts, we'll post them eventually.
Ada changes things around in her mind to make her the victim.
Victor: Just like she has always done.
Tita: Now, do I like that? Diana, within not even twenty minutes of meeting her I knew she was full of shit. She was overly boastful, she was arrogant, she didn't acknowledge a mistake that she made, a simple little error of not ordering food. Then she got all pissed because I didn't hand her the food after she went to the restroom, all kinds of shit.
I was like, "Oh no, I want nothing to do with someone like this." Now it's been even worse with all the interactions we have had with Diana.
Lauri introduced herself and we talked on the phone. I made the mistake of talking over her. Laura is so steeped in the matrix that I was thinking it would be impossible to open her up to the truth.
Ada is the same way. Ada is very fixed in her beliefs. Diana has the fear in the back of her mind that maybe she's missing out on something. That's her MO too.
That very year after I had the argument with Ada, see, I had asked Ada instead of going straight to Diana in San Diego, come to San Francisco and we can give you a tour and take you to places to eat. Modesto sucks, but we have many surrounding places that are beautiful. Then we can find a halfway point between here and San Diego and meet Diana so Victor can see her too. Victor and I could hang out with Diana for a meal and then you can take off with her.
Ada thought it was a great idea. Then I called Diana and whoa, she wouldn't even let me talk she was so against the idea. Before even hearing the proposition Diana invited herself to Modesto too!
I told her that for her it would be boring. It was obvious I didn't want her to come to Modesto and she took offense. We had even told Diana that we would host my mom and pay for her meals. We want her to see where we live.
I wanted to tell her all of the stories I have told her on the phone, but in person. I loved Mamada, I saw her as my buddy. I know she's not, but I have the affection a needy girl has for her mother. Those feelings were transferred to Mamada.
I even told her about ayahuasca. Everything. I opened up my whole book to her. She and I had a good relationship at first, but I didn't want that with Diana. It would've ruined our plans to have her tag along. I just wanted to hang out with his mom for a couple days.
It didn't happen. Diana got her way. Mamada thought, "I am not going to her house, because she dissed me! She called me out on my lie. Elizabeth only wanted to foist Victor on me and I'm not going to let Victor live here again." She started sniffing like a baby and throwing one of her many pity parties.
In the course of all that Laura sends me an email asking if the offer was good for her, or something like that. She and I had been trying to text and I at that time was so busy that I wanted to make an appointment. At that time I was in a good space and only doing one thing at a time. I try to focus.
Why would I leave it up to chance talking to his sisters? Diana hated that saying, "Oh no, it's better to play phone-tag with me." Me thinking, "Whatever, that means we are not going to talk then, I tried."
Victor and I might not have jobs, but we are busier than you, biatch. I have properties to manage. Victor now has responsibilities like maintaining the house and we have rentals to take care of, we are busy.
She either didn't believe me, appreciate, or care. So, Laura asking me if she could come visit was a bit off-putting, but I responded with my go-to attitude, "Of course you can." Later on thinking, "Umm, Victor hasn't really said any good things about her, which means I probably wouldn't like her either."
I was like wtf, I have to remind myself I am not single anymore.
I am part of a cooperative, symbiotic, positive relationship and I should've asked Victor...
Victor: At least you are supposed to be.
Tita: Well, at that point I had slip-ups because I hadn't been in a good, secure relationship for so long, babe. It's been decades, right? I am rusty.
Anyway, I made that mistake, but it never made any difference, because Laura never said, "Guess what, I have money and I want to go visit you guys." That never happened, right? She wanted to not be excluded anyway. Umm, that's fine.
Then again, none of that happened and now we know that Victor was totally justified by severing the ties with his "family." He is better off without these people who honestly don't care.
Superficially, they are trying to make themselves feel better about the fact that they don't care, for being so fake to Victor. They are really bad actresses.
Ada is only fun when good times are good, but that's the only time she is willing to hang out with Victor and I. In times where we are challenged and we are stressed, when we are in need Mamada is not the right one.
Laura has said that already. It is your dad that you go to, Frank is going to be the sweeter, more affectionate, more consistently loving than Ada. Laura experienced that during covid. During the time when she was going to die, or thought she would get covid, it was her dad that checked up on her and provided his shoulder for her.
I see dad, Franklin, even though I don't know him I see him as a better parent than Ada. That is why I am writing him an email, I haven't finished it. I am going to take some time to think about it. He has been writing me kind of a lot. I spent three hours writing him yesterday. I have many things I want to share with him, because I can appreciate that he tried.
I try to give everyone the benefit of the doubt. As my ayahuasca experience showed me men suffer!
Just because they don't cry as often or they don't vent their emotions doesn't mean that men have not been beaten, forced to succumb to women through sex or through guilt-tripping, through using men for their ends, that is what I have never appreciated by other women.
I saw that happen to Dad, I saw that happen to my brothers, and hell if I am going to let womankind not also take their responsibility for creating fucked up, traumatized boys.
Boys have every right to cry, they have every right to be angry. They have every right to explode in anger. That's how males are! I can only imagine Victor being like is dad said, like his half-siblings, running around like Denace the Menace. Boys are rough! They fight, they pick fights. That's what men do, but Victor, being in a household with women, was, you know, treated like a woman, probably, more than if he was a man.
I can't say, but even in our relationship, the way that they respond to Victor, they are thinking of him as most people think of a female. Victor is not a female!
Victor is a man, but they don't know how, Diana doesn't know how to address men and neither does any of those females in his nuclear family.
Victor: They are just sore because I clean better than them! LOL!
Tita: Do you see how it is the women who have traumatized Victor, in a way. It is also the women, mainly his mom who did not adequately see his unique gifts and give him the benefit of the doubt and like his dad, try and see that he's maybe a late bloomer too.
I have been a late bloomer myself. I have done things just because I have wanted to. I am not saying I don't have any regrets in my life, but I am a late bloomer as well. I know I haven't hit my stride and I am 53!
Now I have no family drama, I am breaking those ties and leaving my hometown I have lived in most of my life, except for the time when I was a student and living in SF, or at the ashrams. Modesto has been my spot. I am severing those ties and I know exactly how my brother's are injured kids and don't know how to resolve their issues with me, and don't want an open heart with me.
I am okay with it, because, again, we are different people. I want to have a different existance than they do. I want to have my own farm, some property like them, but I am not a material girl. I care about experiences, I care about LOVE, I care about sharing, and I want this planet to learn from me, finally. All of the Aikido stuff that I know, all the Yoga stuff, all the spiritual stuff, all of the miracles that have happened to me...
Victor: I want you to return those headphones you got with my credit card then, hehe.
Tita: Oh, please. The headphones are crucial because I am a music lover. Listening to music is one of my hobbies.
Victor: Yeah, since hobbies are more important than world peace, right?
Tita: I need hobbies in my life, sorry. I already have inner-peace, so...
Victor: You sound like a Christian now, excuses, excuses. Another side to the same coin.
Tita: Anyway, these are the things we are talking about, the things we are dealing with. I am excited! I tell Victor that I am excited in how we have progressed in our relationship, and how we know where we are going.
To think that the dream I had after learning his dad lived in Panama and dispensed medicine, I started thinking, "What if his dad is the real-deal? What if he has been maligned and he is actually a good person, or at least he tried to be, and wouldn't it be cool to get to know him. Maybe Panama can be a vacation spot where we can spend a couple of months with him every year, or something.
I wouldn't mind that, because I LOVE Victor, I LOVE who he comes from. I just know that someone as cute and as funny and engaging as his mom is and can be and was more when she was young, I have seen her pictures, how could any smart, beautiful cool man not fall in LOVE with Ada? Come on, let's get real. They had sexual attraction.
Victor: No, no, no. He just saw how dumb she was and knew he could take advantage of her.
Tita: Maybe he took advantage of her, maybe he fell for the pretty girl, people do make mistakes. I made a mistake with my first LOVE Francis. He was my highschool sweetheart and that's why we fell apart after seven years. There are very few people who don't have a relationship that they don't fall out of LOVE with.
Example, my nephew Allan had a few relationships, but the first true real bonafide, this is my girl, you know, real, like this it it, I want to maybe live with this girl forever , dissolved ultimately like six years after they signed on the dotted line. They went to city hall to finalize their divorce. They had known each other eight years prior, I think. Ten years, maybe. They knew each other pretty well.
What does a girl want? "Oh, he's successful, he owns land, hmm, let me get into this family because I may profit in the end." She did. She cheated on my nephew and she is trying to profit from the breakup now, at a huge cost to my nephew.
I want to call-out all of the women. That is one of my tasks assigned to me by Abuelita Ayahuasca. ¡Que los hombres valen! Their feelings count, they get bullied too, they can be psychologically abused by women, and it's going to stop now, girls.
Stop using your sexuality to get what you want and use men for your own ends, stop it!
Stop it, all of you!
I am telling the whole world right now:
WOMEN! GET OFF YOUR ASS AND LOVE YOURSELF FIRST, TAKE CARE OF YOUR NEEDS AND BECOME INDEPENDENT!
DON'T RELY ON A MAN!
BE YOUR OWN BEST FRIEND!
REALIZE THAT THE MAN ISN'T THERE JUST TO SERVE YOU!
YOU HAVE TO SERVE HIM TOO!
YOU HAVE TO LOVE HIM AND SUPPORT HIM!
Hell no, if Victor ever can't walk, I am not going to leave him because he can't provide for me anymore. FUCK THAT! I LOVE Victor for who he is!
Not for what he can give me!
Women, listen to me.
All women out there.
I am going to say it again:
STOP DEPENDENING LIKE LEECHES ON MEN TO PROVIDE FOR YOU!
YOU NEED TO PROVIDE AND TAKE CARE OF THEIR NEEDS AND BECOME A SYMBIOTIC COMBINED ENTITY, and not fucking bloodsuckers.
It shouldn't work for the man taking advantage of a women AND VICE-VERSA!
It only works both ways, so stop it, and stop playing the victim.
WE SEE THROUGH YOU, women, when you do this.
I see through you.
Men may be blind and led by their little heads sometimes. Women, are supposed to know better when it comes to LOVE. So stop it, women and start creating strong men with boundaries, start owning up to your own faults, or we will let the world know about you.
Consider that a promise.
Just like Victor gathering the kids to say fuck you to their parents, we are going to encourage everyone to say, "Guess what, mom and dad, you are wrong so I am going to do things a different way. I am going to be better than you. I refuse to be the victim or the victimizer. I am not going to use people for money or sex, or emotional needs. I am not going to be a drain on the other person. I am not going to play on false pretenses to keep a one-sided relationship still going, just because it's not a convenient time for me to break up.
Stop it, all of you. Be good people and care for each other.
Care for the planet also.
Don't just use our planet also.
Give back and support our world too!
The planet is here to help us learn and grow, not for us to piss on it and rape it and exploit it and disrespect it!
Honor mother(gaia) first.
Once you get that mastered maybe you can honor your biological mother and father properly.
Only when they learn better already, and deserve to be honored.
If they don't, we are the whistleblowers!
We will let everyone know that you didn't do right by LOVE.
The end.
11:35am What?
Tita: I was telling Victor that what we are doing right now is kind of like a debriefing after an ayahuasca ceremony where everyone shares about their experience.
Victor and I are now healing together the wounds of our childhood. It is probably a blessing.
Also, Illumignostic, Victor has been drawn to him. When I first saw him the healer in me, not the personality of Elizabeth Vera saw, "Whoa, this dude is healing himself from some heavy-duty demons. No wonder he is out there doing ayahuasca."
Ayahuasca will bring up long-buried scars. That's what it's about. He's detoxing himself in public and getting paid for it!
That's really cool that people want to listen to him. He speaks a lot of truth. In the same vein, Victor and I want people to pay attention to us! We are doing it in blog-form now, but when we have our mobile home and a top-notch projector and we can have a mobile theatre where he and I talk about these issues ad have profound presentations.
We want to help people stand up and say, "I have been abused and neglected too by bad parents." It is so good and therapeutic to get these feelings out! We will be a mobile-therapy unit!
Also, our stories, what we have learned and our wisdom we want to share. I could teach, Victor could tell his stories, we'll see what we're going to do, but we are definitely going to contribute to enlightenment.
You cannot obtain enlightenment without exposing the truth of our past, the dark. This is a type of disclosure. When we disclose and blow the whistle on all the secrets we have kept in our family, regardless of the type of abuse, it will heal more than we know.
Even clinging to religion, all of those things are a way to placate ourselves because we have been traumatized. Somehow we have pain buried in our bodies.
Victor: For now!
Tita: So these perpetrators, after rubbing their scars, it's going to hurt them right back. For sure. Shouldn't they be confronted with the things they did?
Victor: Or didn't do.
Tita: What did I tell Victor while he was visiting home a couple of months ago? We have opened up the can of worms, talking about the past and the traumas. Neither your twin sister, your nephew, or your half-brother who all live in San Antonio came to see you at your mom's. They haven't seen you in so long and they are too scared to visit their own brother?
It's no suprise Victor isn't close to his family. They abandoned him a long time ago. When I tried telling Ada and she complained of Victor's openness I told her, "It's because Victor is angry. We all have the right to be angry when hurt by our own family. He needs to process his pain. Why don't you care about his pain? Why can't you have more compassion for your son? He still needs the LOVE and compassion from his family that he's not getting."
She was adamantly denying the family had any part in Victor's pain.
Like I told Victor, unless we can find a third person to air out these decades-old family dynamics, guess what, we are going to do it in public.
We are going to reveal all to the whole world.
It will be a great way to purge ourselves of our past and call out the source of the toxicity. That will be the only way to transcend the stories and be truly content and keep growing without this baggage that slows us down.
Victor: Very well said, baby.
Tita: Thank you.
11:52pm What, Tita?
Tita: I was telling Victor that he is breaking our marriage contract because you vow to honor and respect your partner, even though Dad, when he married us, didn't make us say those traditional vows, but I am sure Dad wouldn't be comfortable or much less enjoy, much less my mom, for Victor to share my personal thoughts, especially the things that I told him I didn't want publicized.
Then he started taking pictures of all my notes I was writing and that upset me. It was as if he was ensuring he would have an ace up his sleeve against me then.
Victor: Well, if you would give me the peace I am demanding then all your problems would go away. I can't share things if they are not told to me, so STFU and stop sharing so much without asking my permission first.
Why waste the time talking to people when they don't want to hear you? When you do that people disregard what you say out of spite for you being so rude as to assume what you have to say takes precedence over peace and quiet.
If you can't learn that there is a right time and place for every discussion, then you're dumb just like my family.
Do you see how this starts with you?
Is it that hard to shut up?
You don't hear me ever talking your ear off with my stories.
I trust you enough to remember the ones I have told you, so I don't repeat them. If I start telling you one you've heard before and it ever annoys you, JUST REMIND ME AND I WILL RESPECTFULLY SHUT UP.
Tita: But you and I have a cosmic bond. We have an unwritten contract that we trust and love and can confide in each other. Victor does not have that with all the people he has interacted with. They simply came in and out of his life.
For him to share all of those emails about them is not only just, but it provides excellent valid verification to his stories. And their phone numbers too. For example, if you want to find out more about Carol Cook, here's her number(707-601-4007). Echo? You want to make sure she is real? Here is her address.
Mamada? Here is her texts, here are her words and this is why we have arrived at the conclusions we have.
Victor has the right to do that, and as a writer he realizes that's how he can manifest an interesting true story that a lot of others can relate to. His family has already been warned by Victor, that whatever communication he gets from them are going straight on his blog for the world to see.
That's probably why there has been so much silence from them recently, lol. They know they have wronged him and can't handle the truth about themselves.....which only makes Victor seem even more right about them!
They insist on ignoring him, showing the whole world HOW THEY DON'T REALLY LOVE HIM AT ALL!
It's as if they never did. Poor Victor!
So who will leave our lives and who will stay?
The honorable people will be excited, "Fuck yeah! I WANT THIS BLOG!"
Victor: Yup, because honorable people have nothing to hide!
Tita: Exactly, Victor has nothing to hide!
He is proud of what he has said, he is proud of what he has done. Even if he wasn't proud anymore, now, in retrospect, even if he wasn't proud it helped him evolve.
If it were not for our mistakes we would not be who we are. We wouldn't evolve if we didn't make mistakes. That's how kids learn. Trial and error. Do babies learn how to walk instantly? They learn little by little.
That is how we evolve and acquire wisdom. By learning from our mistakes. Mistakes are our portals to discovery!
Reconnecting with his past relations is kind of exciting. It's yet another segment that not only adds authenticity to Victor's blog, but it also shows how some of these people evolved out of my life on purpose, look at how these people are unable to admit, "Yeah, that was such a fun time. We were crazy, weren't we? We were always high, I was scamming receipts left and right, I was committing fraud. Damn, I was crazy, ha! But now I am not. I am so much better."
But no, Carol stopped interacting. She realized, "Oh shit, Victor wasn't kidding." You made her uncomfortable somehow. She's not comfortable dealing with her past.
Chasity as well. When they reconnected she had very fond memories of Victor. We were both wondering what she went to jail for. I was curious too. Just as Victor is curious about his exes, I am too.
Victor: And Carol knows I am going to talk because the last thing I texted her with was, "Thanks for helping me fuck the system."
Tita: And with Chasity, once she realized that Victor wanted daily communication with her(which i wasn't too thrilled about either), she quickly withdrew thinking, "Umm, I don't want to relate to him anymore. He's bringing up my past for the world to see on his blog."
Then Victor told her, "I am curious, but I found a mugshot of you on the web."
The charge wasn't included so Victor asked what she got arrested for, already knowing the answer. It, indeed, was for shoplifting. She finally got caught and she went to the Pokie.
She totally blew it off when Victor asked her to elaborate. Victor already knew why she got arrested, he knew she was a shoplifter in-the-closet. Ada even knew(Chasity once gifted Ada an expensive, ornate ceramic cross SHE STOLE!), but her religious fervor didn't extend to say, "Oh shit, Chasity broke one of the ten commandments to give me this cross. I shouldn't accept it."
The cross is still being proudly displayed in her house to this day! Even after she found out it was stolen!
It didn't bother Ada at all to benefit from Chasity's immorality! Just another hypocrisy, right. How more unlike Christ can you get? She stole something and gave it to mom, and mom knew it was stolen but was okay with it. Does that sound like a good person?
My mom would have said, "Return it! Get this ill-gotten gain out of the house!" Just imagine if Chasity was whoring herself out to get the money for the gift? Would Ada still accept gifts from her? She probably would've because she's such a material and superficial person.
My mom was different. My mom made me knock on doors and ask permission whenever I took fruit. My mom was the opposite of Mamada. She was upright and moral.
Anyway, the truth is exciting and fun and will be part of our book which will verify everything. The bad people are already flying away from us and our existence.
I was sharing with Victor that now energy workers are seeing crystal walls being formed around the people we are no longer vibing with. Due to our chances to interact with, now we know who matches with us and who doesn't.
Who we are going to learn from and who will degrade our energy. Nowadays, Victor and I are already gravitating towards the people who respect us. If they are strangers then we are giving them the benefit of the doubt, but we know that once we leave here we are going to attract the right people.
Because we are no longer going to have to tolerate our next door neighbor who was yelling at the 80 year old lady with dementia across the street. That's fucked up, man. Give her a break, she's old.
These negative people are not going to remain in our system!
When we hit the road and go wherever we are going to go, we are going to spread this word. We know we are going to balance things. We know we are on the right path. I have known since I met Victor, three days in, I'll say it left and right.
I AM THE ONE WHO PROPOSED TO HIM!
I saw how good he was and I refused to let people keep shitting on this good man. I realized quickly that Victor has not been treated how he should have! Victor is a treasure! He is a total giver, not a taker! I knew this right away, he's a sweetheart! Anyone who takes advantage of a sweetheart and doesn't help him the way they should, they don't deserve to be in my world. They are simply tests.
I can tell you many instances of people that I've been around that fail the test.
Victor: Listen, baby. I really appreciate all of your support, but I would appreciate it if you let me choose my own battles. I might not have wanted to own that guy like you did. I might've chosen not to take offense to him, to avoid wasting time. In the future, even if you see someone totally taking advantage of me or maligning me, let me decide what want to do about it, if anything at all.
Tita: Thank you for sharing your perception, thoughts and feelings.
Victor: I don't have any qualms with how things resulted after my intervention. I am just using that as an example.
Tita: The way I saw it was I was a bystander witnessing an unkind act. I would call anyone out anytime they did that. It was not specific to Victor. It's not because I LOVE Victor and I am his wife. I did it because when I notice a kindness I thank people for it. Because kindness elevates all of us. Wayne Dyer will tell you about the physics about it.
It has been proven scientifically that when you are around an act of kindness, everybody around you wants to be kind too. Victor's proof of that. Victor has been hooked up left and right, and so have I. When we truly need something, it comes to us.
Victor: And if we don't get it, it's because we didn't need it!
Tita: That's right. Victor and I also know the opposite is very true too. One only gets what one deserves. If someone is unkind, I am going to voice it. I regret now that when Dad was bullied by my siblings I did not do enough to protect him. That was old Elizabeth.
New Eliazabeth is going to call out EVERYBODY! Including my negative neighbor. I didn't call him out because I still live next to the guy.
Victor: That's enough, I am going to type all this up.
12:55pm
What was that, Tita? Rewind, please.
Tita: We are talking about calling people out. I keep giving Franklin the benefit of the doubt, because for all I know he was a better guy than we thought. He said he came back twice, but your mom makes it sound like it was only once. She said they emigrated when you were three, then talked to an attorney because he wasn't providing or going to get foodstamps.
That was her excuse for annulling the marriage. She told us in one of the conversations that are on your record that in six months or so, she didn't remember, that he came back and surprised her. Apprarently, he tried to kidnap you twins, I'm not sure if this is the right story, beacuse I have heard so many versions from your mom.
Your mom says that you were jumping up and down so happy you had a father, and then that he tried kidnapping them telling Ada she would never find them again.
Of course, he came back two hours later, he had just taken them for icecream. In the meantime Mamada had called a gringo friend of hers who assured her that he would have everybody screened at the airport.
Frank came back anyway, he was bluffing. He wanted her to suffer a little bit. He knew exactly what buttons to push. He had worked his ass off apparently to make money, but it turned out he was allergic to cities.
Some of us, like me too, I can go for a walk in the dirty city and break out in hives, so I can understand his unhappiness. That's why we like the mountains. Pure air and a higher elevation.
Victor: That's why I wanted to leave Modesto so bad when I first got here.
Tita: Yeah, Victor could not wait to go back to Mount Shasta, I got it, but I had Dad here. With your help we took Dad out of his situation. His and Cookie's spirits left.
Victor: Yes, the thought of returning to Babylon in a dense city like Modesto, it felt like I was moving backwards.
Tita: Exactly, going back to a city felt like he was going back in his evolution. He had already liberated himself from city life. He had been where he should have, where everyone wants to be, out in nature.
Victor: I was just too comfortable in your house not being challenged.
Tita: I just wanted my family here to agree with my actions. I am a person who rather ask for forgiveness than permission.
Victor: Not me! I don't need either one to ACT.
Tita: We are different. I wanted it to be a good way for Dad to transition out of this place. When push came to shove people like the Alzheimer's Foundation made me see the light which was, "You're the one taking care of him. You get to get what you want now. The rest of your family has absolutely no say in what happens to your dad because THEY AREN'T WILLING TO DO WHAT YOU ARE DOING FOR HIM. They haven't been at all."
That is why I finally got the mmmph to take Dad away, to call the police when my sister-in-law Alicia came and tried to bully me. They never cared to speak to me in private, they just wanted the inheritance. I was told by my mother that brother was only nice to his parents because of the inheritance.
When it comes to Victor's family, it seems that the only one who received unconditional love was Diana, the first born.
My brothers Moises and Hector did not get what they wanted from their dad. Dad improved, dad became a better father with me.
Hugo and I loved my dad unconditionally. He was there every day. We saw him work, we saw him sweat his ass off for his family. The other kids got confused because Dad would leave to go to Mexico to work. There are a lot of weird dynamics in our family, but the reason I am telling this to Victor today is because I know nobody likes to be called out. These dynamics are important to study, because if we can't transcend them then we will be stuck being hurt kids.
That is why we have so much dysfunction in our society. If we can't resolve our problems among our family, how can we possibly expect to solve quarrels between countries? The issues need to come to light first, before forgiveness can even be considered. There needs to be some form of contrition displayed.
Victor: Exactly, they need to be worthy of forgiveness.
Tita: Exactly, some people might never deserve our forgiveness. To those people you need to say goodbye and subtract them from your life.
Then there is also the cases where you can say, "I forgive you, but that doesn't mean that I want you back, Matt Shearon, when we saw Tracee at the park and he told us, "You know what, Victor? She looks a lot better than before, but I know not to associate with a rabid dog." Matt's a smart man.
This is how it works. Once we see that somebody isn't treating us right, is not deserving of our LOVE and attention, we will depart from them. We need to tell them, "Thanks for the lessons. I will take what I have learned from you with others. But guess what. I am going to find OTHER people to LOVE and give my attention to.
Like Albundio and Maribel. The people who we can be honest with about how we are and not be taken advantage of. What does Wayne Dyer say? "A friend is someone who you can speaek freely with."
Those are the people that we want. The people who aren't messed up and like what has happened to Victor and I when they think, "Oh, you are so powerful and so much happier than me? I want what you have and I am going to do what I can because I am jealous and pissed that you get to enjoy such freedom and not me. If I can't be happy like you, then you're not going to be either."
Like Alicia. Alicia bullied my dad again, so I called the police. Then my uncle was pleading with me not to take him, that he would die if I did. What did I tell them, "Por favor, Estos disgustos no ayudan. Por favor, vallanse."
Victor: Was that the same person that tried to get your dad to smoke marijuana?
Tita: No, that was his cousin Enrique, who didn't even show up at Dad's funeral. Even though he kyped a Mercedes Benz from my dad. Enrique was even eying the house. Vultures! People who enjoy taking advantage of an elder. That's how they are going to appear in my book, my memoirs, BECAUSE THAT IS WHAT THEY DID! I have many emails and texts to support that.
So, the truth is going to come out about all of this stuff, as needs to be done so healing can occur.
I think I had boarded another train of thought, but I am getting off to go to sleep, thank you.
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