titachap7

Tita:  What's going to happen if you don't have dabs?  Would you lose your inspiration? 

Victor:  I wouldn't lose it altogether, it just wouldn't come to me as fast.  

Tita:  What about coffee?  What if you stop drinking coffee?

Victor:  I would then miss drinking coffee, duh.  😝

Tita:  But coffee fuels you too.  It speeds you up.  It is the drug of choice for Americans.  

Victor:  I prefer marijuana than any drug, but I like coffee too.  Not for how it keeps me awake or speeds me up, but I enjoy the flavor and warmth.  Because I am addicted to cigarettes, I am, by-proxy addicted to coffee.  If I could quit smoking cigarettes I could quit coffee too.  One goes with the other.  

    Cigarettes are soooo much better with some Joe.  If coffee is there I will drink it, but I don't think I am dependent on it alone.  

Tita:  So we can stop buying it?

Victor:  Maybe when I can't afford it anymore.  I have more pressing things to worry about than making sure I am healthy so I can live in a world I don't want to live in.  Duh.  Don't worry, be happy.  Time is an illusion anyway.  My soul is ageless.  So is yours.

Tita:  We can't then.  We are you of EBT money.

Victor:  I will go fly my sign some more.  Just chill.  Everything is under control.  Worry not.

Tita:  But you said you don't need it.

Victor:  Well, if I can afford it I am still going to drink it!  Because I rather be dead than to live in the prison they have planned for us, I will take these risks.  Being worry free and happy is worth more to me than to be stressed out about the future that hasn't happened yet.  

    Delusionary or not, I feel that my mission is so important and since I am doing some great work and advancing and evolving like never before, I am being kept alive to continue my work, regardless of how I treat my body.  And like I have always said.  If I die I will at least get to finally find out what happens, maybe.  Who knows?  It doesn't really matter with how things are in the world.  So I don't get to participate in the rape of everything good, oh well. 

    That is what I am counting on, what I am taking my chances with, I am gambling.  I was dealt my hands by my stupid parents.  They should know I have the winning hand by now.  The fools should've known when they picked my name.    

    If you risk nothing you gain nothing!  The more you risk the more you win!  It's gotta be worth it, though.  

    THERE IS NOTHING THERE IS NOT A BRIGHTER SIDE TO!  Yin-yang.

    Anything else, Tita?  I am not going to stop recording until you leave the room because I never know when you are going to make a good point.  So please realize your interruptions are causing me to type more ultimately and I wish you would let me do my work in peace AND TYPE YOUR OWN STUFF UP!  

    ISN'T THAT WHY YOU GOT THAT CHROMEBOOK?  

    GET TO WORK!  

    STOP BEING SO LAZY AND WASTING YOUR KNOWLEDGE!  

    I NEED YOUR HELP!  

Tita:  Like I said, if you didn't have dabs, would your mission suffer? 

Victor:  Yes.

Tita:  And you feel like you have to go really fast?  Like, this has got to happen yesterday.  

Victor:  Why would you or anyone else want me to go any slower?

Tita:  Because you are burning up your body.  You are depriving your brain of sleep.  Maybe you are going at too fast of a pace.  

Victor:  Oh, so I should be making sure I am alive for the shit they have planned for us?  Why would you want to be alive then?

Tita:  I don't think there's going to be any slavery.  That's just your paranoia.  

Victor:  I wish I could say you are the only one who got tricked into that hopium, but that is only your opinion, in our case.  

    Listen, I don't think it's going to happen for sure, but never have I felt there was a stronger possibility for anything else in this world.  It is just what I have been actively assuming for decades now.  

    And even when I stopped telling strangers my story in 2009, my life was still blessed as ever and I was kept safe, only because I stayed true to my self and my ideals.  I continued to shine my light even in the face of seeming defeat.  

    I NEVER STOPPED BEING A VOLUNTEER!  

    I REMAINED CONSISTENT EVEN THOUGH I STOPPED WORKING ON MY GOALS AND CONTINUED TO GO WTIH THE FLOW AND JUST ALLOW THINGS TO HAPPEN AND KEEP BEING DARING.   

    I WAS SUPPORTED AND TAKEN CARE OF REGARDLESS.  

    ALL FOR JUST BEING A NICE GUY AND SHINING THROUGH EVERTHING THAT HAPPENED TO ME!  

    I STILL AM!

    I put myself in some great positions to learn even more, by mistakenly thinking my work was done.  

    MY VOLUNTEER POSITION SIMPLY MORPHED!  

    BUT I AM BACK AND STRONGER AND MORE EVOLVED AND MORE FEARLESS THAN EVER!

    I was meant to stop telling my story.  I was meant to get herpes!  I was meant to be fooling myself I had scabies when I didn't!  I was meant to have my very first panic attack after watching the first five minutes of Law Abiding Citizen!  

    IT IS NOW MEANT TO BE THE TIME TO TEST "MY FAMILY" AND SHOW THE WORLD EXACTLY HOW LITTLE THEY CARE ABOUT ME!  

    HOW THEY, LIKE MY IDIOT FATHER, WERE WILLING TO STOP TRYING AND JUST "GAVE ME TO GOD," 

    BECAUSE THEIR ENSLAVED MINDS COULD NOT COMPREHEND FREEDOM AND HOW MUCH THEY LACK IT!

    WHO THINKS I DESERVE SUCH A LACK OF LOVE?  

    IF YOU ARE NOT ASHAMED OF YOURSELF YET,

    GET READ TO BE!  HAHAHA!

    THUS PROVIDING ME EVEN MORE INTERESTING TRUE BLOG CONTENT!   

    I have been such a good collector all of these years, right?  

    HAHAHAHAHA!   

    SUCKERS!

    So yeah Tita, if I am not able to go as fast as I think I can go, if I lose hope that I ever will with you, I will make the needed subtractions.  If you can't realize the method to my madness yet, you are a lost cause and in the way.  

    Join up or fuck off.

    Sometimes I think yeah, that would probably be it.  Maybe I am delusional, maybe I am crazy, but I feel that no matter how I die, when I die my shit will take off even faster!  I even play around with the idea that if world peace really came after my death, maybe just to make this true interesting story even more truly interesting, I will come back!

 "To an outside observer a person's needs may be illusory or unrealistic, but they are still controlling."
- Keith Davis

    I believe that just with me playing around with that little dream, I can go very far.  

    I am showing the universe, "Hey, this guy is taking some monumental risks and he is doing work that really needs to be done.  Gather all the controllers and ensure, demand his protection.  He seems to truly have an altruistic end-goal.  This guy has earned the right for his dream to come true." 

    I don't care about myself.  I care about our entire collective, ultimately.  

Tita:  So you are willing to risk your life?  You are willing to die?  Part of you wants to die so you'll become a martyr?  And then your stuff will really take off after you die?

Victor:  My crazy and pissed side will die.  I won't be pissed anymore.  I will be truly content when everyone is at-ease, even if it kills me.

Tita:  Do you think you have accomplished everything you set out to do?  

Victor:  No!  I feel like I have so many more accomplishments in me if I am allowed to go at the speed that I want.  I feel as if I have miracles in me!   There are miracles in my profanity!  There are miracles in my disrespect!  

    If I am allowed to go at my speed and express myself fully and as loudly as I want to.  

    I am really excited with my recent evolution of my blog tape!  At first I had just loaded like ten or twelve of them.  Now, I am emptying the entire roll of tape and adding 65 papers and rolling it all back up and putting the spool back in the dispenser.  I leave enough room between each one to be sure they stick good.  I can't wait until it's not raining and go plaster the town!  Removable graffiti for peace!            Harmless, minute, temporary graffiti.  I will sneak them into places that are hard to reach.  I'll put them in places no one will see for a long time.  Put them on boxes and random pieces of trash.  Put them everywhere!  

    Everybody do this in your town!  havethesejokes.blog!  Get to work!  

    This is one way to make my shit fly!  

    UNSTOPPABLE TOGETHER WE SHALL BECOME!

    Any thoughts, Tita?  

Tita:  No, but let's go back to the email.  So what do you think about this?  You kind of already told me but..

Victor:  My mind is elsewhere.  I don't want to be thinking about something different right now.  

Tita:  Do you pity your sister for blaming your dad like this?  

Victor:  No way!  I am excited I stumbled onto that.  This is going to really help me against my parents.   People can cross-reference and verify and truly see how I am not talking shit.  

    Just like the videos Rhonda Johnson took of Frank in Panama, that totally validates my stuff.  It shows my sincerity(and frank's idiocy).  

    Most importantly, it will show to all the stupid parents, hey, every one of the Gruber children have a hurt heart due to lies started by Mamada.  Laura actually almost starts crying in the video.  

    She rehearsed those tears.  She had her own scripts like I do.  She's a good actress.  Not that good though.  She thought she was slick by creating two fictional mothers that turned into her.  I wonder whose idea that was.  Woe-is-her and it's all Franklin's fault.  JUST LIKE MAMADA! 

Tita:  The first woman she described was her mom.  Remember, for 66 years she felt she had no self-worth.

Victor:  It was a total Ada-glorifying, Franklin-debasing PUBLICITY stunt.  I bet my mother was evily-chuckling in the back of her head when Laura made that.  She was probably thinking, "My plan is going smoothly."  

    She got Laura thinking, "Ha, I am going to show Frank!  The whole world is going to find out about him now!(maybe not then, but with my help FOR SURE)."

Tita:  It may be that, maybe, but it also could be very real, very genuine that she in her little heart, in her little mind, again, she has not healed the wounds and she still thinks that her dad left her.  That's the story that she is advertising.  

    Just look at what she chose for her presentation, somebody leaving, a guy with a suitcase walking out of a door(not mentioning that our mom had enabled it).  

    That's not abandonment, that's being kicked out!  The man was pushed out by the woman.  

    Justified or not, the hatred is still there.  Whether it's true that he deserves it or not, when you forgive someone it's to heal your heart, not for them.  

    FORGIVING DOES NOT MEAN FORGETTING!  

    You could say, "I know you did wrong, but I don't want to harbor that hatred against you because it's hurting me!"  It hurts me more to keep the story alive and to feed the hate than to just be at peace with however the past turned out.  

Do you see the difference and why forgiveness is primarily for the person offering it.  It is not for letting the other person off the hook.      

Victor:  I am glad you mention that because it's true as fuck.  If a person being forgiven thinks that they are the main recipient in the forgiveness, that's pretty egotistic and self-centered.  Sociopathic almost.  

Tita:  It liberates the person doing the forgiving.  It doesn't mean they are off the hook, absolved of all responsibility.

Victor:  Right, it shouldn't be a clean slate.  Nobody learns anything like that.  By conditionally forgiving them you are implying:

    "You hurt me in the past and I am okay with that now, but if you don't learn from your mistakes and stop repeating your same sins, the deals completely off and you can burn in hell for all I care.  I will get my closure and that's all I care about since you are not worthy of even consideration at that point.  There is no point in making mistakes if you're don't learn from them AS TO AVOID RECURRENCE!"  

Tita:  The forgiveness liberates you from replaying the drama and the story.  It's to benefit your heart and be at peace with the past. 

    "It happened and it was bad, but I can go beyond that and transcend the story.  Instead of identifying as an abandoned kid, I can say that mom and dad just had issues and it didn't work out, but not turn dad into a demon and scapegoat him and deny all responsibility like Ada does.  

    That's what happened, dad was a convenient dump for her.  Now you see that they were both at fault.  It takes two to separate.  They could've stayed together, even miserably, but at least the kids would have dad and mom around.  

Victor:  That's what kids need, ultimately.  If you don't want them to grow up into psychopaths.  

Tita:  It takes years and years sometimes for people to work through these issues.  Again, for the sake of the impressionable children they could've at least tried pretending to be a happy family.  It might've worked!  

    At least until you guys were ten or twelve and could handle a separation better.  At least you had an opportunity to get to know your dad.  

Victor:  Okay, if you don't stop I am going to be typing all day tomorrow, so please leave me alone.  

    AS THEY SAY IN TEXAS,

    FUCK ALL-YA'LL!

    EVIL IS ABOUT TO LOSE ALL OF IT'S POWER WHEN ENOUGH PEOPLE READ MY BLOG AND LAUGH AT MY STUPID DYSFUNCTIONAL(BECAUSE OF JESUS' TEACHINGS) FAMILY!

Tita:  You are neglecting your body because you don't want to suffer?

Victor:  No, I am neglecting my physical body because I learned that I am never going to die.

Tita:  Your soul won't die, but your body will.  

Victor:  Big whoop, then I will move on.  I AM NOT AFRAID OF DEATH ONE BIT!  I WILL KILL MYSELF A LOT MORE EASILY THAN MOST PEOPLE.  I HAVE ALREADY DIED TWICE.

Tita:  You are burning out now though...

Victor:  Umm, you are helping to burn me out!  You are contributing to me burning out!

Tita:  Oh really?

Victor:  Yeah!  During the day sometimes I ponder, "Hmm, what is worth dying for right now?  What is worth abandoning my physical existence over?  What would I most want right now that if I can't have I would rather be dead?  

    The first thing that comes to mind is maybe when I can't get enough peace and quiet in my life, the peace and quiet I require to work on my magic blog!  YOU DISTRACTING ME IS SABOTAGING MY MISSION IN LIFE!  You are not allowing my mission to evolve into all that it could!  

    Why the fuck not?!  I am trying to help everybody including you, not just you!  Only because I think I can!  

    If you don't want to accept the time I am willing to give to just you, would you rather not have any of my time at all?  Stop being so dumb like Frank.  

    If I can't do my work I am better off dead.  

    Until I see my mission evolving more, gaining more speed, giving me hope that the world will be worth living in soon, then and only then will I stop abusing my physical vessel as I know I do.   When a brighter future is assured only.  Why waste my time if it's going to get worse?

ELIZABETH IS THE MIRACLE FRANKLIN HAS BEEN PRAYING TO GOD FOR!

ELIZABETH IS THE MIRACLE I HAVE BEEN PRAYING TO LOVE FOR!

ELIZABETH IS THE MIRACLE THAT IS GOING TO SAVE THE WORLD!  

    What did you say, Tita?

Tita:  "That Victor is really intelligent.  He is a being a good human when he's been yelling POOR KIDS!  He is thinking, "This is the messed up world the adults want to leave their kids?  This world sucks!  There's injustice, poverty, greed, all the sins of the world are creating a horrible place to live in.  Poor kids!  Which is a good message.  

    Now, Victor has uncovered with my help that in his head the script was POOR MOM, HORRIBLE DAD!  DAD SUCKS!  MEN SUCK!  They can't be trusted!  They leave!  

    But poor mom, ohhh.  Victor fed into her woe-is-me mentality.  He was following the script that Laura continues and so does Diana.  Just like with covid.  If they don't want to face the facts of their lives and accept their reality, let them.  Let them be sheeple.  

    But Victor is now awake to her lies.  He is know even more awake to the evil machinations and manipulation of he truth by Mamada, and the fact that maybe Dad should've been given a better chance like any dad should, the benefit of the doubt.  

    Let's understand him and give him some credit.  Let's redeem his manhood Ada stole from him.  Let's see him as victims as well.  

    In this case he definitely is the victim in your story.  Until now.  

Victor:  Thank you, My-Tita.  I am going to make a world peace through Tita section!

Tita:  Aww thanks, babe.  Word peace through harmony.

Victor:  No, TITA!

    I want Franklin to be proud of me.  

    I want him to do me some favors.  I don't need any land.  I don't need to pretend to own any land, because nobody owns any land.  The land owns us!  We are bad stewards of it.  

    Therefore, if I was to beg, to implore Franklin for something, after all of this time, after I have forgiven him in my heart fully, I want 100% to give him yet another opportunity to be my father.  

    After My-Tita has opened my eyes I 100% LOVE Franklin.  I 100% love my bitch mother SO MUCH LESS NOW, but I still LOVE her.  I still forgive her.  

    BUTT, I plan to put her through the same ringer, if not worse, that I put Franklin through.  SOLEY FOR COMEDIC-VALUE!  LOL!

    I simply want Franklin to do me the favor of SIMPLY TURNING THE OTHER CHEEK.  I want him to stop taking my, or anyone else's words personally.  I want him to step aside from himself and admire the brutality that anyone can easily achieve with only 26 letters.  

    I want him to behold the mighty force that anyone can command WHEN THEY ARE FREE AND KNOW THE TRUTH!  

    My wish is to exemplify, I want to be an example to our entire collective, including the people I feel have done me wrong.  I FORGIVE ALL!  If these truths were known already, YOU WOULD NOT HAVE COMMITTED THESE ATROCITIES!  

Therefore, I will forgive you all, ONLY IF YOU LEARN ALREADY AND STOP MAKING THE SAME EXACT MISTAKES! 

Chapter 8