020604

 

San Antonio, TX

Friday February 6, 2004

     7:29am  Brandon is hooking me up with a cigarette. I appreciate it, brother.

     7:31am  I'm out here smoking. I got to UTSA early this morning. My sister drove me. She was on her way to work. I'm going to school again, hehe. Third day in a row. I'm going to stay all day again.

                   Oh yeah, my mom started bitching at me this morning. She's crazy. She told me, "Victor, there's milk in the house." Oh cool, so I went to look around for cereal. I found these Honey Bunches of Oats. I walked back to her room and asked her, "Hey mom, can I have some of this cereal?" She told me for no reason, "Yeah, but don't eat all of it!" I yelled back, "I'm not going to eat all of it! Why would you think I'd eat all of it?" She got all pissed off at me telling me, "Don't raise your voice at me!" I told her, "How can you think I was going to eat all of it? I mean, you're the one who told me about the milk." Still mad she said, "Fine, then don't eat any!" I told her, "Fine, I don't need to eat any." I just ate some Muscleblast.

                   I'm out here smoking by the buses. The driver went inside to use the restroom. I looked at his transfers on the bus and the letter of the day is David.

                   Cool, I have two D transfers.

                   I still don't have a lighter. I got a light from the guy who gave me the cigarette. I want to take a hit of weed before I go inside to type. I'm going to see if I can find somebody with a lighter.

     7:36am  Katie hooked me up with a cigarette at UTSA. I appreciate it, Katie.

     7:49am  I bummed a cigarette off this girl and tried to light my pipe with her lighter. It didn't work.

     7:59am  Jennifer hooked me up with a cigarette here at UTSA.

     8:10am  It was so badass. I asked this girl for a cigarette and she gave me one. She went, "You don't have a light?" She gave me a lighter! I took my hit of weed and she even listened to all my stuff.

     11:54am  I just finished up at the library. I typed up like three or four days. I got a lot of work done. I'm going to go look for Heather.

     12:12pm  I just had an excellent presentation with this girl on the bus at UTSA.

                     She told me, "I believe you. I think it's true. I think you can do it."

     12:15pm  I just realized I left my Nalgene bottle at UTSA at the bus stop. This sucks. I'm going back.

     12:37pm  I'm at University Hospital. Man, it sucks I left my water bottle. Ugh, I'm going to go see what time the next 603 passes going back to UTSA.

                     Cool, 12:45pm.

     12:40pm  I forgot to mention that the transfer I used at UTSA was already cut to the right time. I just trimmed another one now to get back on. There's the 603, perfect.

     1:25pm  I'm back at UTSA. I'm going to see if my water bottle is still there.

                   Yes! It's there! Praise Love, it's still there. Awesome.

     1:27pm  Blanca let me borrow her cellphone. I appreciate it, Blanca.

                   Man, I'm having a great time. I got my water bottle back. I had a good conversation with this dude who I've told my ideas to before. I'm going to go back to the library and type up some more stuff. I've already typed today. I'm going to spend all day at school again today.

                   Only because I want to, not because I'm scheduled to be here. Nya, nya, nya.

                   Not because I am expected to come and do this. It is my choice.

     2:39pm  I'm in the library and Leah, from the Texas Land and Cattle restaurant, where I went on my birthday's eve(2-1-04, 9:56pm) with Gabbie, she just came and tapped me on the shoulder. Cool, cool. I told her, "Yeah, I'm everywhere."

     4:10pm  I just got out of the library. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and smoke some weed and wait for the bus.

     4:29pm  I had a good presentation with these two black dudes from Jamaica here at UTSA. They were all ignorant though. But, they know my name. Oh yeah, I was thinking about going up to some pretty girl here and saying, "Hey, I'm looking for a pretty girl to tell my story to. Will you listen to me?" It's cold though. I'm going to go home and get some more layers.

     4:32pm  Oh yeah, and those black guys from Jamaica were all, "Oh, you don't work?" I told them how I got free food everywhere. They said, "You don't work? You're a beggar? You're lazy." A little bothered I told them, "I'm lazy? I walk my ass off every day and try to spread peace in this world." I pointed to the full parking lot and said, "All these lazy death machines out there are killing our world, and you call me lazy? Screw that. I have a full-time job. I don't get days off, damnit. My job doesn't pay me money.  I work for free.  It is my job to make humans elite. This species ain't your fucking industry."

                   They were bible thumpers too.

     4:39pm  That was great. I had a good presentation right in front of those black guys. This one lady listened to me all hardcore and those two dudes saw it all. When I asked her what she thought would happen if all the world leaders got together and smoked some weed she said, "They would probably stop worrying about all that stuff." I told her, "They didn't call them peace-pipes for nothing."

     4:40pm  The bus comes at 15, so I have time to walk through the campus and find somebody to tell my story to.

     4:52pm  I just had this really cool conversation with this Asian guy. His name is Ryo. He was nodding his head up and down the whole time. I started telling him about how I felt about school and he said, "Man, I couldn't agree with you more." He listened to me the whole time.

     5:02pm  Mary hooked me up with a cigarette. I appreciate it, Mary.

                   Mary even hooked me up with bus fare! I so appreciate it, Mary. And she listened to me fully and she's even giving me a cigarette.

     5:44pm  Dude, that girl Mary was cool! She listened to every word I said. She was all impressed. I told her, "Tell your friends," and she said, "I will, definitely."

     5:49pm  I see some missionary kids. I love talking to missionaries.

                   They were just these kids coming home from school.

                   Amanda: "I live in New Orleans, Louisiana. My name is Amanda Escamilla. The project is called The Magnolia Project. We stay there, not because we can't afford to live anywhere else, but because my sister is HIV positive. Now, she is eventually going to pass. The medicine industry has developed a drug, one pill that she can take every day for the rest of her life and she will live a very healthy and long life, but they want $5,000/month for it. She's going to die without this drug. Now, we live in the projects, to try and afford to prolong her life. In a small two bedroom place you have five people living there. We all work just to try and prolong my sister's life. She's going to die without this drug because of money. The drug industry would rather let my sister die and her two kids orphaned, than help her with this medicine."

     6:14pm  Man, I had an excellent presentation with that girl. She was out selling stuff door-to-door with some other dude. They listened to me like crazy. I've got some believers today, man.

     6:22pm  I just got to my mom's house and the cars not there. Nobody's home. I hope the back sliding door is unlocked. I can go use the phone and see if I can call Heather.

     6:24pm  Shit, the door's locked. That sucks. I'm locked out.

     6:35pm  I'm just walking around the neighborhood. I'll walk around the block until my mom gets home.

                   Oh yeah, all I've eaten today is Muscleblast 2000.

     6:40pm  Okay, I walked all around the big block. I called Heather earlier from UTSA and left a message.

     7:20pm  I'm still walking around the neighborhood. I walked a lot. I walked down to the ditch to the other side of the hood and walked back around. I really hope my mom's home. I'm hungry, I've been walking so much. It's a good way to kill time though.

     7:30pm  I forgot, I decided I'm going to walk to the store. Bum a cigarette or something. I'll see if I can use the phone. Yeah, I'll use the phone and call Heather.

     7:40pm  I walked to the gas station. Nobody is smoking a cigarette outside. There's a big line of people inside, so I won't ask to use the phone yet. It's some old man. He probably won't let me. Oh yeah, on the walk over here I was thinking about Karma. See, I did some evil shit when I was younger. In the woods behind my mom's house I like killed ten or fifteen birds a day in the summer with my pellet gun. That Karma caught up with me on election night '96. Four years later after that too. I learned my lesson. Respect all life.

                   I want a cigarette but I'm worried about my mouth. I've been so ignorant too it. I keep using it as an excuse that bumming cigarettes is a good segway to my whole generosity project. I mean, I know I could always tell people, "Actually, I'm just kidding. I don't smoke," and give the cigarette back. I mean, wouldn't it be ironic if I got mouth cancer and died after smoking all these cigarettes I got from the generosity I'm trying to bring world peace with? Then I think, "Oh, when I bring world peace everyone will be healed. It's going to happen soon and I'll be healed. I can smoke all I want. I know I'm going to be able to bring world peace before I die from smoking." If excuses were money, I would be rich. It's just a big gamble.

                   Oh yeah, earlier on the bus that girl told me, "You're my hero."

                   Oh yeah, the dude inside the Citgo let me use the phone. He gave me a cigarette too. Awesome.

     8:00pm  Oh wow, there's a beautiful full moon tonight. It's big and bright. The sky is beautiful tonight. Gotta love that ying-yang.

     8:20pm  I walked all the way back to my mom's house and she's still not home. I'm still locked out. Dude, the whole reason I came to my mom's was to call Heather. I went to the gas station and called Heather's and nobody answered. I tried calling my mom on her cellphone and it was off. Which surprised me. She always has her electronic leash on. I guess I just have to be patient.

     8:45pm  I'm still waiting for my mom.

                   A little patience, yeahhhhhhh.

     8:55pm  I'm kind of getting worried now. My mom is usually home by now. I hope she didn't get in a car wreck or anything.

     9:35pm  Shit, I hope my mom is alright.

                   Man, I'm hungry. I don't want to eat any more Muscleblast 2000. I need some solid food.

                   Maybe I should tell my mom, "Mom, you give me food like a mother should, and you always will. Because if you don't you're scared you'll go to hell. And I know this."

     10:05pm  Man, my mom still isn't here. I'm proud of myself. I've been very patient. Just thinking the time away.

                      I don't think my mom would be this late. I hope nothing really bad happened. She knows I was coming home. She told me she'd leave the back door unlocked, but it's locked.

     10:17pm  My mom is home at last. Finally. My patience paid off. I passed the test. I am glad she's okay.

     10:37pm  She's bitching again! She's the crazy one. She was all, "You're always misinterpreting me." The incident with the cereal. I don't know if I recorded that. I'm going to eat. Oh yeah, she hooked me up with some food even though she's all pissed off at me. She brought home some food and I noticed. She went, "Oh, you can eat it. I'm trying not to talk to you because you always misinterpret what I say." I told her, "Get over it, mom. That happened this morning."

                     What a great role model, huh? Holding grudges like that. I am really happy that she gave me this big plate of food though. I thanked her. I told her, "Mom, come here. I want to give you a hug," and she all walked off. She said, "Sometimes I wish you just wouldn't hug me sometimes." She got all pissed off. She hates me now. Why does she hate me?

                     She's the crazy one.

Next day..