022305

 

San Antonio, TX

Wednesday February 23, 2005

     9:15am  I woke up at about 9:06. I have all these things going through my head about Ashlee. She's only nineteen. She needs to learn so much. She is not willing to let me teach her. She's damn ignorant. I mean, she knows me. I cannot stop doing what I am doing. I am going to give her an ultimatum. I'll tell her, "Listen to me. I need to record every single detail of my life. That is how I'm going to do this. But with you, I haven't been. If you still plan to mess around and kiss me, if we ever have sex, it's going to go straight in my book. If that's a problem with you, I'm just telling you in case you don't want the whole world to know. I am letting you know now. So you can choose not to." Dude, the other night she gave me a handjob with lotion. I mean, I can't do this whole artificial love thing. Like if we're going to continue holding hands, kiss and stuff. Umm, I asked her, "How superficial is this for you? Could you be doing this with somebody else next week?" I'm going to have a big talk with her.

                   She's just a little kid. She's nineteen years old. She's about cars. She's about brand names. She's all about money. Last night I let her drive my mom's car. She was driving all slow and telling me, "Don't talk to me! I can't drive while you're talking to me." I told her, "I am going to drive then." And she wants to get a car so bad. She asked me, "Oh, you wouldn't drive around with me if I got a car?" I told her, "No, I would just worry about you if you got a car."

                   I am going to cut it off. I can't do this whole artificial love thing. Either I love her and she loves me back, or it's not going to work at all.

     11:05am  I am at Santa Fe Place. I'm going to go see if Ashlee is still at Sam's. I don't think she will be.

     11:12am  I got to Sam's and Ashlee is still here. She finally opened the door. She said I woke her up. She had all these newspaper clippings out and was on Sam's phone desperately looking for a job. I just sat there waiting for her. I thought she was going to go out and look for jobs in person as well. All of a sudden she tells me, "Are you going to do something? I'm going to be calling places for like four hours." Damn, it's as if this bitch just moved into Sam's.

     12:15am  Ms. Rodriguez told me no. That greedy ass told me no. I've been standing out here waiting for a bus for a long time.

                      I asked another bus and the bastard told me, "Catch the free bus behind me."

                      I jumped across the street because I saw a bus coming. When he pulled up I just stood there and said, "Please." He said, "You're wasting my time," and slammed the door shut. I yelled, "Greedy ass!" at him. Oh man, this sucks.

     1:00pm  Jim hooked me up with a cigarette at the Crossroads park and ride. I appreciate it, Jim. Everybody gets credit.

                   Whoa, Jim came back and gave me another cigarette! jimmif8@yahoo.com

     1:05pm  The bastard on the 520 told me no.

     1:10pm  Mr. Byrd finally hooked me up with a ride. I appreciate it, brother.

     1:41pm  I'm downtown. My day got a little better. Mr. Byrd hooked me up with a ride and he listened to my story. When I started talking to him I asked him if I had ever told him what I was doing before. He told me, "No, but I've seen you around." Screw this not telling my story thing. I'm going to tell it until it happens.

     2:08pm  Right when I got to the park, I had been all bummed out because my day started out bad and no one would hook me up with a courtesy ride. I went to the middle of the park and Joe asked me, "Hey man, do you wanna go for a walk?" I told him, "Sure! I know what that means." So Centrell, Joe and I came over to the smoking bridge. I had my marker with me and wrote Victor the Liberator on this big cement tube. Now, I'm going to go to the Health Department and get the ball rolling on my blood screening. Remember, the questionable incident happened on 10-2-03.

     2:33pm  Jackie hooked me up with a cigarette in front of the NIX hospital. I appreciate it, Jackie. Everybody gets credit.

     3:40pm  I have to make an update. I walked all the way to the Health Department on Commerce. I'm going to see how long it takes, the wait.

     3:55pm  Craig hooked me up with a cigarette outside the Health Department. I appreciate it, brother.

                   Lady at Health Department: "Your urine was tested for Gonnhoreah and Chlamydia and your blood was tested for HIV and syphilis."

     4:08pm  I'm out of the Health Department. I got a shot in the arm too. I get my results in two weeks. 3-09-05

     4:28pm  Mike hooked me up with a cigarette at Travis Park. I appreciate it, brother. Everybody gets credit, thanks.

     4:45pm  5445 hooked me up with a ride with my expired transfer.

     4:57pm  I'm back at Santa Fe Place.

     6:03pm  Robert hooked me up with a dime for a transfer. I appreciate it, brother.

     6:27pm  I'm at the hospital now waiting for the 610 back home. My day didn't turn out too bad. I do believe I am over this whole Ashlee thing. When I got to Santa Fe Place, both her and Sam were there. She was eating one of his salads. I was holding a cigarette in my hand and Sam goes, "Oh, can I have one?" I told him, "I'll give you half of this one." He tells me, "Well, when you're ready to give it to me, I'm going to step outside and smoke it." After I smoked half I gave it to Sam. We both went outside. Sam started talking to me about Ashlee. I asked him, "So how did your night go last night, Sam?" He told me, "When I got back from work she wasn't home. He told me that she was up at like two in the morning hanging out with Teo! That they went to some abandoned apartment nearby and hung out. Oh shit. When he got home today she was all crashed out. You guys know I trust Teo as far as I can throw him. I told Sam, "I thought you might get lucky last night." Sam said, "Not like I'm attracted to her." So I'm totally over that bitch. She had me under her spell, but I broke it. I mean, can you blame me? I'm doing all this good stuff for everyone. Don't I deserve a companion?

                   But, Melissa, this cute girl who always gives me a cigarette close to Sam's apartment, she's like thirty two or something, the other night I told her all of my stories. I kind of like her. I talked to her today. Her parents pay her rent, she can go at any time. Tonight I asked her, "Will you come traveling with me?" She told me she would actually think about it! I went, "Hey, do you like hiking in the woods? Would you go hiking with me?" She told me yeah! I want to take Melissa on some adventures. My day got soooo much better.

                   It was awesome, like right when I got in the park today, I was all bummed out and I ran into Joe, who remembered me from a long time ago. He smoked me out. Right now I'm waiting for the 610 to go home. It comes at 6:35, I believe. My day didn't turn out so bad. I am way over Ashlee. Oh yeah, and I went to the Health Department and got all my blood screening stuff done. In two weeks I'll know for sure if I'm clean from that Maya slut a long time ago in California. Back in 2003.

     7:07pm  I am at the Citgo. I'm going to wait around until I get a cigarette and then I'm going to walk home.

     7:58pm  It was so cool. Right when I got to the Citgo I got the idea to walk over to Bob's and see if he was home. Sure enough he was and he let me in. There was some more people there all smoking weed. I got stoned and got a little roach. Hehe, I know Bob saw me eyeing this blunt roach. He hooked me up with a little roach outside. I went inside to ask him about the one in the ashtray, but I looked in the ashtray and it was gone. He knew exactly what I was thinking.

                   I'm walking home right now. I don't care what time it is. Hehe, oh yeah, when I ask people if I can tell them my story, at first I'll tell them, "You've never seen me walking around? I kinda stick out a bit." I'll show them my stick, hehe.

     8:10pm  I'm back at the Citgo.

     8:24pm  I forgot to mention, I'm back at my mom's house already.

     8:33pm  I came home to my mom's house and made me a big sandwich. Four slices of ham. Now I'm going to walk to the Shell station on 1604 and bum a cigarette.

                   "I don't know if my stuff will fix everything yet, but I am positive the leaps I am taking are definitely in the right direction."

                   I really wouldn't be surprised if Teo, Ashley and Ashlee end up having a threesome. That first night when I had brought Ashlee to Teo's, Teo mentioned something and Ashlee said, "Oh, I don't do threesomes." And then Sam told me they had a personal meeting in some vacant apartment.

     8:57pm  I came to the Shell station and just sat down at one of the benches. All of a sudden John hands me two cigarettes. Just like that. I didn't even ask him. He said he had seen me at Marley Fest. He has already heard my presentation. 

                   That was awesome! They must have seen me pick a snipe out of the ashtray when I got there.

                   magicsquee@yahoo.com, Jacob at the Shell Mart.

                   taylormade@satx.rr.com

     9:12pm  Blessings up the ass. Right now this lady pulled up and I gave her a real warm smile. See, I'm at the ignorant armpit of the NW, right next to where they built those oceans of neighborhoods. Right in the heart of Babylon. This lady had pulled up in a nice Volvo and I gave her a smile. Her husband goes inside to buy something and she walks up to me and asks me to borrow my lighter. I told her of course and handed it to her. Then she tells me, "I always see you walking around." I smiled and told her, "Really? Can I tell you what I'm doing?" I told her my mission-objectives. She didn't have time, but I got her email address. When I had asked her what the world's greatest problem was she said, "Lack of God." She told me good luck with everything. Oh yeah, and then right now, right after she left, Jacob, the cashier slides the night drawer open from the inside and in it there's a gold Sacagewa dollar for me! I got paid! Thank you, Love. I am doing some good work.

     9:38pm  I am at my mom's house.

     10:12pm  My mom just gave me what I needed to donate plasma. Proof of residence. My old W2 form from West Telemarketing, which has my current address on it.

Next day..