103008

                                                                                                             San Antonio, TX

Thursday October 30, 2008

     7:38am  I just woke up. I got 6.06 hours of sleep. I probably need more, but I'm getting up.

     1:18pm  I am leaving the house. I want to walk today. Maybe I'll go downtown. I don't know. I am wearing my Thank You For Pot Smoking shirt and my marijuana necklace.

     1:32pm  I just came out of the Citgo. I got ice. I don't know where I'm going to walk today. I don't know what I feel like doing. Maybe I'll go downtown. Maybe I'll walk to Mainland. Maybe I'll go to OP Schnabel. I got some Panquesitos for food. My batteries might die on my recorder. I'm going to go, I don't know what I'm going to do.
                  
     2:13pm  I couldn't decide what I wanted to do. I've been having this big internal struggle in my head about buying more cigarettes. I keep thinking I should quit. I've been watching all these new world order movies on Youtube. The shit might hit the fan pretty soon. Life is short. I just have to walk some more. I'll get healed by the medicine woman when I go back to Oregon
soon.
                  The excuses just pile up. I keep thinking that cigarettes is a way the government depopulates, just like alcohol. I'm going nuts here. I just walked halfway to the gas station and I changed my mind.
                   I walked up to Tezel and Guilbeau then jumped on the power line trail. Right before this fenceline I started walking through this dry creek behind this neighborhood they just built. I don't know where it will end up. I am kind of aiming for the Mainland Walmart so I can find out what the letter of the day is for my transfer stash and see if I can ride the bus downtown or not. I could ride it anyway, hehe.  Maybe I'll do a rerun of last time. Ride the bus downtown then walk all the way back.
                   I am getting so bored with my San Antonio walks. That's all I do, is just walk downtown. Either go Eckhert to Medical Center and Fredericksburg downtown, or Bandera all the way downtown. I don't know. I'm all stoned. I hope I find the willpower to resist bumming a cigarette when I get to the Walmart. The buses leave in like fifteen minutes. My timing is all off today.

     2:32pm  Popped out of the woods on Mainland somewhere.

     3:00pm  After much confusion at the bus stop, see, the 88 came and I thought I got a good glance of the letter of the day. I had seen some lady walk by holding a transfer. I picked one out of my stash and trimmed it to the right time. I got on the 88 and looked at the driver's stack and it was the wrong day. I just turned around and told the driver forget it and got off.
                   Then I thought I don't need to ride the bus. If I ride the bus downtown I'll go smoke a cigarette at Travis Park. I want to get my exercise today. That's all I want to do. I hiked all the way to the Walmart. I'm going to take the nature trail all the way in reverse and go back home. I'll go all the way to OP Schnabel and up Braun Road and call it a day. Oh yeah, I am trying out my boots after their ShoeGoo session. I didn't leave them drying that long, but they had a fan going on them. I hope that was effective. Anyway, I'm hiking Leon Creek right now.

     3:25pm  After a long, reflexive pause on this concrete thing in the shade behind a neighborhood fence, I have decided something. I'm not going to quit smoking cigarettes. I don't need anything stressing me out. The world might be ending pretty soon. I am not going to worry about my smoking. I am addicted to nicotine, damnit.

     3:27pm  Mari me dio un cigaro en el Walmart. Te lo agradezco, Mari. Todo el mundo recibe credito.

     3:32pm  I still wasn't sure if I should walk downtown or not. I asked a bus driver for a courtesy ride and he tells me, "What about your stack of transfers?" I laughed and told him, "I've got two F's, but they're too early, already expired." He smiled and said, "Come on, come on."

                   7683, nice driver. He even hooked me up with a transfer for the cause.

     5:02pm  Connie with beautiful eyes gave me a cigarette at Travis Park. I appreciate it, Connie. Everybody gets credit. Thanks a lot.

     5:50pm  Greedy ass bus driver. I asked for a courtesy ride and he closed the door in my face. I yelled at him, "That's a good little slave!"

                   Another greedy ass bus driver.

     6:25pm  Jay gave me a cigarette. He got all scared when I pulled out my tape recorder, ha.

     6:35pm  I forgot to tell you. I walked to San Pedro Springs Park and sat down and talked to Fuzzy. I hadn't seen him for years. While I was walking back to Five Point's this white car drove by and some dude yelled, "Victor!" Wasn't sure who it was but he looked familiar. I gave them the peace sign and kept walking. I walked to the bus stop at Five Point's and sat down and smoked a cigarette. Dread, this guy I smoked out the other day(10-20-08:5:10pm) with his girl in the park. He walked up to me. He had been the dude driving by in the car. He asked me if I wanted to smoke a joint, awesome. It all comes back.

     7:03pm  We smoked a big blunt in the park. He had told me it was going to be a joint. It was a big blunt. I like blunts. Earl, I remembered typing up his name. He gave me a cigarette. I appreciate it, brother. Everybody gets credit. He's been reading my website on his cellphone all this time.
                  
     7:17pm  That was awesome. I was getting a bit down and depressed and stressed about quitting smoking. Some friends of mine appeared that I had smoked out at the park not too long ago.

                   Right before that I saw Fuzzy. He's always calling me a bum, but he's the one homeless. He does have a job at a taqueria.

                   I'm walking and it's getting kind of chilly now. Maybe this is all I was waiting for to leave, for the weather to cool off. I'll be more comfortable traveling now. I'm going to take off pretty soon. In a couple days, November 1st.

                   Dread told me that I am all they've been talking about lately. Sweet, that's music to my ears.

     7:38pm  I am racking up excuses to stop walking. I need to conserve tread on my boots for my roadtrip pretty soon. I am going to stop at this bus stop on Culebra. I am almost to Bandera. I'm going to wait for the bus and pay the fare when it comes.

     7:50pm  Joe just volunteered me a delicious piece of chicken. I was just standing there at the bus stop. I appreciate it, Joe. Everybody gets credit. Thanks a lot.

                   Man, I am having a really indecisive day today. I wanted to walk home, but I need to conserve my new boots. I'm just going to ride the bus home. I might not walk until I leave. I'll be rested.

     8:38pm  I ran into Tony on the bus. He works at Walmart. He said he ran into me, how long ago? Years ago.

     8:50pm  I just got off close to my mom's house. I told the bus driver I was the one who spraypainted the fence. I need to get out of San Antonio already. I've been in this little funk today. I'm just bored. I feel lazy.

     1:32am  I'm going to bed.

                   I was lazy today. I was on the computer all day. My mom has been gone all day. She spent the night at my sister's apartment. My dumbass pregnant sister won't move back. She's going through all this chaos and stress for nothing. She just has to live in Alamo Heights, a rich part of town and she totally can't afford it without shortchanging her children's future. For crying out loud, there is a four bedroom house totally empty here. Don't you think this would be a more stress-free environment to raise a baby in, especially when you already have a brat son who is smarter than you and is rebelling because you raised him wrong? Fucking duh, Laura.
                   She's got a kid on the way. She's going to pop. Going to work eight months pregnant and lying to her job about doctor's permission all to pay rent. Laura is so sick with ignorance.
                   Anyway, I'm going to take a shower and go to bed. I went to the store and I bought a pouch of Buglers today. I won't smoke as much, I swear. Life is short.

Next day..