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121103

 

          Berkeley, CA

Thursday December 11, 2003

     7:33am  I just woke up underneath the MLK building where the email station is. They let everyone crash out because it was raining.  



     7:45am  I'm at the Trinity Church for breakfast. Everybody is here. Well, not everybody, just all the homeless people. I am feeling really depressed. My leg still hurts just like the same day I slept on it wrong at the RV park. It's been like a good four or five days. My leg hurts the same. I didn't twist it, I didn't pull it. I'm thinking I just slept on it wrong and now it won't stop hurting. I need to see a doctor. I need to get out of Berkeley. I want to go back to Arcata. Oh man, I feel like I am failing at this mission. I can't be a long-distance walker because I am in pain. I've been smoking. I might have an STD. I guess I should get checked. Even though it hasn't been six months. It's been a couple months. Oh man, this isn't good. This isn't good at all. I wish I could walk. I need to be healed.

                    I miss Kati.

     8:14am  I am waiting to eat breakfast. I ran into Steve. He recognized me from Arcata. Cool.

                  We are all standing in line waiting to eat and then some crazy wingnut starts flapping her mouth. Some black guy gets all pissed off and goes, "SHUT UP! GOD-DAMN, THIS IS A CHURCH. CAN'T YOU RESPECT GOD?!"

     8:46am  I am leaving breakfast.

     8:53am  Bill just gave me a couple cigarettes. Awesome.

     9:03am  I got stoned on Telegraph. Some guy who knows me. Man, last night they got all pissed off because I took a picture. I realize that's kind of rude and shit, but it was worth it. Damnit, Cody's is closed. I thought I'd be able to go take a shit there. People's Park here I come.

     9:25am  I came over to the People's Park bathroom. Someone is on the shitter, so I couldn't take a shit. I was talking to Kiko and Lori. They're still here from last time. I showed them pictures of the barn and the other pictures I have. I was playing with the pigeons in the park. With my walking stick. I was all scaring them away and when they would fly around I would swing my stick and they would all scatter in mid-air. I was looking through the Free Box and I found some size twelve shoes, but umm, I got boots. Umm, man I don't know how to go East. How to get out of here.

                   I was talking to this guy in the park about skipping town and he suggested I check out www.traverlsaid.com. He told me to look under California and Oakland.

                   Umm, that was travelersaid.org.

                   Damnit, the bathroom at Cody's says out of order.

     10:05am  I walked to the park and they were giving out food. Peanut butter and jelly sandwiches and tomato soup(hot V8). They had this big pile of blankets that people could have. Cool.

                     That's alright. I got my falsa blanket.

     11:14am  Man, I'm coming down in Berkeley. I'm just worrying about stuff. My leg still hurts and I'm limping. I don't know what caused it. I have no explanation for it. Maybe it was that big six miles that I just up and walked a couple days before I left Arcata. I don't know what's going on. I'm just feeling all down and depressed. I feel like it's taking me too long to do this and I've lost a lot of effect. If my leg keeps hurting like this I'm not even sure if I should go back to San Antonio.

     11:16am  Oh yeah, I walked to Eid's Electronics. I'm going to ask him if he can donate me some batteries. These are about to die.

     11:18am  Badass! I had to wait for Eid to finish with somebody else. After he talked to them he came up to me and said, "Hey, how's it going? How's it going?" He seemed like he was in a hurry. He was all, "Do you need anything? Do you need anything?" I pulled out my little tape recorder and he said, "Oh, do you need some batteries?" I told him yeah. He said, "How many? Two double A's?" I nodded smiling and he grabbed a pack and handed them to me. Awesome.

                     Can you say score?

     11:20am  I have to research my logs and see when I got these old batteries in my recorder. I think these are the same batteries I bought at the liquor store in Arcata for three dollars(10-18-03, 5:40pm). These have lasted a long ass time. Well, I wasn't logging that much at Kati's. Anyway, Eid gave me some backup batteries. Cool.

     11:51am  I walked to the email station at the school. I checked my email and nobody wrote me. I emailed Kati and told her what's happened. Oh yeah, also at the computer I got the address to the Traveler's Aid place in Oakland for Alameda County.

     12:00pm  I'm just walking down Haste, close to Dana. I looked on the ground and I found a phone card! It was a little wet, but I still wanted to check it to see if it had any minutes left on it. About thirty feet away I see a payphone! I called and it has three dollars left on it! It's a five dollar card. I've been thinking about calling my trucker friend Thorne. I'll give him a call. Cool.

                     I have his number in a pocket calendar. Let me fish it out of my bag.

     12:08pm  I just called Thorne, my trucker friend. He was all, "Wow! I was wondering what you were doing, Victor." I asked him what his twenty was and he's in California right now. He's South, over by LA. He's about to take a truckload of cars back East to Florida. He said he'd be in Florida until next Spring. I just missed him.

     12:20pm  That's cool that that phone card fell into my lap right before the phone. I called a lot of people. I didn't get to call Gretchen. I should have, she's my contact in New Mexico. Actually, I just didn't have her area code.

                     Man, I should just take off. I'll ride the bus as far East as I can and start walking.

                     Oh yeah, I forgot. I'm walking to a tennis court so I can find a ball for my stick. Hmm, what else can I do today? I can see if I can get a courtesy ride to Oakland and go look up that Traveler's Aid place. I've also been thinking screw New Mexico. I'm just going to go back to San Antonio. I'll call my mom so that when the Traveler's Aid people call her she'll play it off good. Actually, she doesn't have to play anything off. It's all true that I want to get back home.

                     But, I'm going to tell Traveler's Aid exactly what I'm doing. My whole plan.

     12:29pm  Score. Found a tennis ball in the bushes. I was all bummed out because all the gates were locked at the tennis court. I just found one outside though.

     12:40pm  I'm on Telegraph and Mike just gave me his last cigarettes. I appreciate it, brother.

     1:03pm  Dave just gave me a quarter. I appreciate it, Dave. On Telegraph and Channing.

                    I'm standing here on Channing and Telegraph trying to spange up enough for a marker. I've got a quarter so far.

                    I'm on the same corner and Jim was nice enough to give me a dollar.

                    Cool, that guy just gave me a buck. I told him my mission objectives and he said, "I'm behind you," and taps me on the shoulder.

                    I've got $1.25. I need like $1.40 for a marker.

     1:50pm  This dude Josh just walked by and handed me a dollar! Dude, I didn't even ask for it.

                   Cool, I'm going to go buy my marker.

     1:58pm  I bought my marker. I'm going to go look for an empty box.

                   I am walking down over where I was before. On Haste near Dana. I found another phone card! A totally different card. Now, I'm going to go to that same payphone and see if there is any time on it.

     2:05pm  The balance has been completely used on that card. Forget that. That would've been cool if it worked. Twice in a row.

                   Now I'm going to walk down to Shattuck. Someone told me the spanging is a lot better there than Telegraph. I'm going to go fly a sign that says, "Spare change for bus ticket home? On my way to save the world."

     2:49pm  I just got this big piece of cardboard from some music store downtown. Tupper and Reed music.

     3:40pm  I just finished up my sign. Let's see if this thing works.

     3:54pm  I made my sign that says, "Spare change for a bus ticket home? On my way to save the world." I'm going to write in, "ASK ME HOW." I'm going to go to the church and stand in line for the four 'o clock feeding.

     4:25pm  There's a big ass line at the church today. This sucks.

     4:56pm  I just finished eating at Trinity. I'm going to go sit down with my sign.

     5:11pm  I am back on my corner. Haste and Telegraph, flying my new sign. Not too many people have stopped. Oh yeah! I saw Pixie! I gave her a big hug. Pixie's one of my friends from Berkeley. She told me she was going to Massachusetts in a couple days. I went, "Hey, can I hitch a ride like halfway there?" She said she would ask her cousin. Oh man, if I could get a ride like halfway across the U.S., that would be so perfect.

     5:24pm  Ali just hooked me up with two bucks! He recognized me from last time. I appreciate it, brother.

                   Be sure to look up on the Internet Von Willebrand. I was telling this guy about how my gums bleed every time I brush.

     5:37pm  Charles D just gave me a whole twenty dollars!

     5:55pm  I ran into Jenny from Arcata! That's awesome. Jenny used to crash in the barn with her eleven year old son, Devin. Remember? I showed her all my pictures and the newspaper of the barn. I love you, Jenny.

                   That's so awesome. I saw Jenny again. She said she had a place in Oakland and that I could crash there! I'll get to see Devin again! That's awesome.

     6:45pm  Jeff was nice enough to give me a cigarette outside of Cody's. I appreciate it, Jeff.

     7:00pm  Nathan just gave me a dollar outside of Cody's. I appreciate it, brother.

     7:25pm  I just had an interesting conversation with Liam and Nate. Be sure to look up Into the Wild by John Krakaur.

                   From the cover text:

                   "In April 1992 a young man from a well-to-do family hitchhiked to Alaska and walked alone into the wilderness north of Mt. McKinley. His name was Christopher Johnson McCandless. He had given $25,000 in savings to charity, abandoned his car and most of his possessions, burned all the cash in his wallet, and invented a new life for himself. Four months later, his decomposed body was found by a moose hunter..."

     7:26pm  Liam gave me a whole dollar. I appreciate it, brother.

                   That was a badass presentation. They listened to my whole story.

     7:30pm  This pretty girl just suggested I check out The Long Haul at 3124 Shattuck(510-540-0751). They are open Sunday through Thursday 6-9. She asked me if I've seen the Slingshot Newspaper. It's a radical newspaper. She also asked me if I've heard of Barrington Hall. She said Barrington Hall was a big riot.

     7:45pm  John is being cool enough to hook me up with some change. I appreciate it, brother.

                   Be sure to check out craigslist.org again.

     7:56pm  Kendall just gave me a cigarette outside of Cody's. I appreciate it, brother.

                   Some guy just walked by and said, "You're back?"

     8:35pm  Dan just hooked me up with a quarter. Thanks, brother.

                   My script is evolving. After telling people my mission objectives I'll say, "I am willing to tell you exactly how I plan to do this, only if you are willing to listen and let me finish."

     8:39pm  This guy Ted and his son just pulled up in a white van and he asked me, "Hey, want a burger?" They hooked me up with a badass burger. His son's name is Jules.

                   That was badass! That guy just pulled up and gave me a good, quality burger. He told me, "Good luck getting home." That was awesome!

                   It's all like half-eaten but it's a damn good burger. Sweet, lunch.

     8:45pm  Man, Praise Love! Thank you so much. That burger hit the spot. I was really hungry because I didn't eat that much at the church today. I was wondering what I was going to do for food. I thought I'd have to wait until tonight to eat pizza at Hate Camp. Man, that burger fell right into my lap. That van pulled up and the guy said, "We'll give you this burger if you tell us how you're going to do it." I told them, "Of course I will. Are you willing to listen?" They told me it was a school night and they had to go. I asked for their email address and they said, "Nah, you can just go ahead and have it."

     9:02pm   I'm calling it quits for the night.

     9:05pm  That kicks ass. The tennis ball I had found earlier had been a little wet, so I stashed it in this doorway on Telegraph. I can't believe it's still there with all the foot traffic today. I'm going to take a picture of it. Nah, it's not that important. It's still damp, so I put it back. I'll see if it's still there tomorrow.

                    Dude, it's so awesome that I have that picture of me holding my sign from when I was here like five months ago. It's cool, because when I tell people my stories I can show it to them.

                    I really don't know what I'm going to do. I have nothing to do. I'm just walking around. Oh yeah, I do have something to do. I was going to go to the bathroom at Cody's and put my thermal bottoms on.

     9:20pm  I just got out of the bathroom. I put on my thermal bottoms. Man, it's amazing the difference thermals make. I'm all warm and tired now. I'm sleepy. I lucked out with these thermal bottoms. I scored them in Arcata at the St. Vincent de Paul thriftstore(9-6-03, 4:02pm).

     9:26pm  I just walked to People's Park looking to get smoked out.

     9:28pm  These black dudes were all hitting a pipe and I asked them if they could spare a hit. They told me no. Ungenerous bastards. I wanna get high.

     9:51pm  Everyone was all giving me flak for asking to get smoked out. All of a sudden, this brother Alabama was gracious enough to ask me if I wanted to smoke with him. Him and his friend Hatter.

     9:54pm  Brandy, Lisa and Lavender just offered us some KFC. That's awesome!

                   That Brandy girl cut me off and told me, "We didn't offer it to you. Jesus did."

     10:03pm  Man, the bible thumpers who gave me the chicken didn't listen to me one bit. They were all god bless you this and Jesus loves you that. I tried to explain it to them but they would not stop interrupting me. I told them, "Don't you see that you are displaying the same exact ignorance I am fighting . . . and you're trying to help people?" They still wouldn't shut up.

                      Damnit, while I was talking to those Christians I totally lost the guys who were going to smoke me out. Argh.

                      I finally ended up running into Alabama and Hatter at Hate Camp. I had a really good talk with Alabama. He's got Hepatitis C and he assured me it wasn't communicable through saliva. Whew, he smoked me out. He gave me some weed too! That's awesome. I told him about my big STD scare and he told me I had like a hundred to one chance that I don't have it. He told me what other people have said. That it's really hard for a girl to give it to a guy. That made me feel a lot better.

     11:10pm  I was just walking along and I see some guy motioning at me. I hear him say, "Hey, do you want to hit this?" We go for a walk and he shows me his 215 card and all this paperwork he has for it. He smoked me out. He got the weed from the cannabis club. Primo stuff.

     11:20pm  I think those guys are all laughing at me because I keep asking for a cigarette at Blake's. I decided if I don't get a cigarette I'm going to walk to the Bing Wong Wash Center. I had noticed that nobody was crashed at the MLK building tonight. I guess they're not allowed to sleep there when it's not raining. I'm going to walk to Bing Wong. Hopefully it's still squattable. I kind of remember someone in Arcata, at the barn, telling me that they didn't let people crash there anymore. I hope that's not true, because I don't know where I'm going to sleep.

                     Oh yeah, it's weird how my tooth doesn't hurt anymore. I was in agonizing pain before. I think it's because I cut back on smoking.

     11:28pm  Damnit, I just walked up to the Bing Wong Wash Center and right when I got to it, there were these two cop cars there. Shit. Where am I going to sleep?

                     That's right, they opened up a night shelter I heard. I forgot all about that.

     11:45pm  I kind of remember someone saying the shelter was by St. Mark's Church. I walked over to it, near the college and ask some crazy wingnut guy where the homeless shelter is. He raises up his hands and says, "I ain't got anything!" Wingnut.

     12:10am  I walked back and talked to this cop I had seen giving out a ticket earlier. I didn't talk to him then because I didn't want to interrupt. He told me I should look for a hidden pocket somewhere and be out early in the morning.

     12:11am  Damn, I gotta find a place to crash tonight. I don't know what I'm going to do. Damn, this sucks. Where am I going to sleep?

 

From: Kati Texas <chainofthought@yahoo.com> [Save Address] [Block Sender]
              To: Victor Antonio <rightprotect@linuxmail.org>
Cc:
Subject: damn upity buddhists...
Date: Thu, 11 Dec 2003 13:11:10 -0800 (PST)
 
Victor
I'm glad you didn't stop in Ukiah for too long; you've
got to get out of humboldt while the getting's good.
I hung out with Ian and Keejun last night and watched
a movie.  It's good to relax, but i've got to get to
work.  I feel like I can do anything.  You've given me
such a boost, it's like i just woke up, and now i'm
all full of ideas and energy.  unfortunately now i'm
all horny too.  Good thing we made sex toys at work
the other day.  I love you, and I miss you already.
Have safe travels, and don't take any wooden nickles.

Love and kisses,
Kati(pie)Texas

From: Kati Texas <chainofthought@yahoo.com> [Save Address] [Block Sender]
              To: Victor Antonio <rightprotect@linuxmail.org>
Cc:
Subject: It's cold and rainy...
Date: Mon, 15 Dec 2003 17:56:23 -0800 (PST)

 
...and i miss you.  i hope i see you in texas and it's
not raining.  here's to warm sleeping bags!
Love,
yourtexas

 
 From: Kati Texas <chainofthought@yahoo.com> [Save Address] [Block Sender]
              To: Victor Antonio <rightprotect@linuxmail.org>
 
Subject: 2812779795
Date: Wed, 24 Dec 2003 21:58:18 -0800 (PST)
 
 
My Victoious Victoranimous
Hey there baby I'm in texas!  I get a car tomorow, so
i should be able to come to sanantone after the 2nd.
do you want to let me know how i can get ahold of you?
 i'm having family time right now.  i miss you very
much. i hope you are having a good time at home, and
that your quest is moving along well.  let me know
love.
i can't wait to see you.
love and kisses
yourtexas
btw, that's my sis's number if you want to call me

 

From: Kati Texas <chainofthought@yahoo.com> [Save Address] [Block Sender]
              To: Victor Antonio <rightprotect@linuxmail.org>
 Subject: Re: hallo kati-pie..
Date: Wed, 24 Dec 2003 22:47:23 -0800 (PST)
 
 
I know i sent your mail before you sent this one...
what a weird lag.  call me: 281.277...no, wait don't.
but give me sam's #.
love
lover
 

--- Victor Antonio <rightprotect@linuxmail.org>
 wrote:
 Hey Kati-Pie..
     Hi, sweet-thang,
 I just wanted to let you know I am back in San
 Antonio.  I got back Saturday night, the 22nd(I
 think).  I tried calling twice, but you weren't home
 each time.  It's Christmas Eve(12:30am Christmas
 day, technically), so I'm guessing you are already
 in Houston.      
      My mother and I got into a big argument.  She
 hasn't changed one bit.  All she does is bitch and
 complain.  I asked her why she just didn't kick me
 out and dared her to call the cops.  She actually
 did, and I went and camped at my little platform in
 the woods.  I am rather proud of my mom.  She
 actually did something, instead of just talking
 about it.  I didn't get in trouble with the cops.
 Actually, I scored a courtesy-ride from the cops to
 the entrance of the park.  So I am out of my mom's
 house, where I belong.  I rode the bus around today,
 ran some errands and ended up at my friend Sam's
 apartment.  He's got a little efficiency.
      I start working at the telemarketing place
 January 5th and Sam said I could stay with him as
 long as I wanted.  I'll be on some Earthlink
 Internet project.  Once I start working I plan to
 contribute monetarily.  Sam's got a cable modem and
 a badass computer, so I have a workstation already.
 I have so much stuff to scan, so securing a scanner
 somewhere is my next project.  
      Tomorrow is Christmas day and I'm not sure what
 I'll do.  Probably ride the bus around all day and
 let cool shit happen to me.  Something good should
happen to me, seeing as how it'll be Christmas.  I
 am reciting my scripts like crazy in San Antonio and
 am feeling very productive.  I was soooo homesick.
 I have like 3 tapes I have to type up and I'll be
 caught up on my typing.  I should do that tomorrow
 while Sam is at work.
      What's your 20?  Still planning on coming to
 visit?  I'd be lying if I said I didn't miss you
 dearly.  After the Christmas holiday I'm gonna go
 get tested again.  It's been like 2 months so I'm
 hoping I'll get an accurate result.  
 
 Welp, Kati.  Let me know what's going on.  Oh yeah,
 merry Christmas!
 
 Love and miss you,
 
 - Victor the Liberator
 
 p.s.  Oh yeah, the 26th of December will be my
 one-year anniversary for traveling.  I left for
 California the 26th of December of last year.  It'd
 be really cool if you were around to celebrate with
 meeh.
 --


Next day..

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