12-30-23
You want me to include what song from the Clash, Tita?
3:42pm Today is Saturday the 30th. Almost new year. I haven't logged in a long time. I have been super busy on the computer with Illumignostic stuff. I just realized I didn't even log what we did on Satanmas. What did we do? I went out and flew my sign on Satanmas. Do you remember how that day started?
Tita: We were out of dabs and we had lost the credit card.
Victor: That's right, all the money ran out and we weren't sure what we were going to do.
Tita: We went out there and I think you made like seven dollars in 45 minutes or so and you got lots of great fresh weed. We got some homegrown stuff too. Then you got four pre-rolls.
Victor: I passed out my blog plenty and made sure my stickers were all over that corner.
Tita: Did you mention about the Trump stickers in the park?
Victor: Yup.
Tita: Oh, and yesterday when we realized you got your SSI early we decided to go and get some supplies. We used weedmaps.com and we ended up at some smoke shop that sells psilocybin chocolates! We got some edibles! The cashier had some great product knowledge. I took it yesterday, I took three, I think and I did start tripping good. In about twenty minutes I was at the portal! I was closing my eyes and seeing all of these beautiful diametrical shapes.
I was so happy, I was elated, I even started crying telling Victor I love him and how I was so sorry for all the pain I put him through.
Victor: I will you buy you some more on the 1st, lol. As much as you want.
Tita: My heart totally opened! It was intense because we had had all of this great tantric sex in the morning.
Victor: Oh and I forgot my big cleanup in the backyard. I sorted through all the hundreds of lemons that had fallen. By hand I separated all the bad ones and brought them inside and filled up the sink and rinsed them all and when Tita woke up she had all of these clean lemons to juice and freeze. She was happy that morning.
We're going to have organic lemonade all year long now! Next is the oranges, which I kind of had sworn off this year.
Tita: Because of the late season, because everything is taking so long to mature because of the fact that we only had cold temperatures in late November, the fruit is not ripe like it usually is now. We are still waiting for the fruit to be ready. It's usually at it's peak in late December, we have aleady sampled some and they are not as sweet.
We have had some good times, I think. We are still kind of weird with our schedules. We are not sleeping our desired seven hours a night. I think we are getting close to being more balanced, you know?
Victor: Also with me and this whole Illumignostic thing, I was a bit bummed out because I posted some comments right on his latest video and I wasn't hearing back at all. I didn't hear a peep from him and it reminded me of the whole Serge Mesa thing and all of the ignoring I got from him.
Even though I have heard of the term for years, I just recently realized that maybe it's due to SHADOW BANNING that I am not receiving the instant feedback my stuff is due. I think that is the true reason for the lack of entries on my old site and blog now.
I also don't know which stats to trust. The ones I pay for(statcounter.com)? Google Analytics? Blogger? Statcounter tells me I have a few and blogger tells me I have a lot. Fuckin' bots. Hopefully my shit is taking off and I'm just not meant to know it yet.
Then I am always asking myself, why aren't they just taking my blog down and silencing me?
I have a hunch that it's because I really am not doing any wrong. The darkside does not even want me to exist(that's why you won't get much about my blog when you Google WORLD PEACE THROUGH MARIJUANA, but that is totally not the case when you search Bing.com for those same four words.)
Bing is owned by Microsoft, where all the nerds and geeks from the dawn of computing work. They know exactly what I am doing and therefore allow their search engine to validate my existence. They know I have some divine protection and am only living up to my name with my declarations.
I am also going on the hunch that if they take me out it will happen even sooner! I have already permanently-imprinted myself on the internet and EVERTHING ON THE INTERNET IS ON THE RECORD!
I remember a long time ago on IRC somebody telling me, warning me, "You need to realize that everything online is permanent," and me replying, "That's exactly what I am counting on." He wished me luck.
THEY KNOW IT'S ALMOST REVENGE OF THE NERDS TIME!
Oh yeah, and today we walked the dogs a lot. We walked the girl alone first. Recently, anytime I go out of the house I always have my blog tapes which I stick in random spots. It's rained hardcore recently, but all my tapes are sticking strong, they are waterproof! We are almost back home already. We are walking the dog. One at a time because we couldn't find the boy's harness. He is going to be wearing his sister's pink harness. My gay little son, lol. Little fag dog.
Well, as the saying says money talks, I became a Patreon for Illumignostic and he actually responded to a message of mine. I will paste the whole conversation:
Victor Gruber
8:23 PM
Brother, I don't know if you have received any of my recent comments on your Odyssey vids and seen my blog yet, due to shadow-banning, but your stuff is right up my alley and I am proud to have you on my blog. You could be my general! I am glad to contribute to you and I hope you can find the time to delve into my blog. It's going to make your day, I promise. You speak for all of use ageless children. Having just your endorsement could mean a world of difference.
- Victor Antonio from San Antonio
laughdispenser.blogspot.com
text me if you can:
Victor Gruber
8:47 PM
this might be a better introduction. this is me in 2007 in Ventura County, CA.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=macuZCpOrlI
my stuff has evolved since then, but I have stayed pretty consistent throughout. Please believe in me, soy negocio verdadero :]
I have done the footwork and I have proof!
laughdispenser.blogspot.com/p/memory.html
I GET WHAT I GIVE!
- Victor the System Fucker
IllumiGnostic
9:24 PM
OK, Ill check it out! thank you so much!
Victor Gruber
11:30 PM
Re: flat earth. i have always been on the fence about it, always keeping in mind anything was possible and i didn't know anything( i still don't), but after hearing how stupid xians support it, and the idiots in your scenario, has me leaning towards discounting it altogether now. I appreciate your insight. I guess I figured stuff didn't have to be true to provoke thought and make people question things, thus being blog-worthy, but I also see how it's also been a test. They've been playing both sides since the start to confuse us. My girl and I love your stuff. She and I really enjoy your candor. She was agreeing and laughing her ass off at your candor. Maybe the fungus-chocolates she had earlier enhanced your video for her. :P
I don't want to take up much of your time, I am really stoked to actually be communicating with you directly. What are your thoughts on the whole tartaria/mudflood, ether free energy, etc. stories? any truth in that?
Dec 30, 2023
Victor Gruber
7:53 AM
listening to your latest outlaw vid. Here is my time in Colorado in 2004 I am sure you'll know of places mentioned. It ALL really happened.
https://laughdispenser.blogspot.com/p/august04.html
IllumiGnostic
11:21 AM
Maybe free energy lost civilizations, but flat earth is too easily disproven. Becoming so open minded that wind whistles through your ears is serious danger
Victor Gruber
12:24 PM
I hope you are a fan of mariachi :]
Victor Gruber
2:19 PM
Is anything Michael Moore has put out worth mirroring? Please help me streamline. I asked my wife her opinion of him and she said, "He's an awakened person who wants the USA to be accountable for so many wrongs. A good citizen IMO, like any other guides/teacher, he doesn't have to be perfect to point out his nation's flaws. I think he's just a smart guy." Please elucidate.
also, did you see https://laughdispenser.blogspot.com/p/evilxians2.html? Any qualms?
Victor Gruber
3:22 PM
Since you are familiar with the area, what goes on in Ashburn, VA?
Dec 31, 2023
Victor Gruber
9:48 AM
A bit dismayed by lack of reply, until I beheld all of the recent content you are pumping out and realize how insanely busy you must be. Good things come, when/if-ever you get the chance. Busy typing up part 1 of our Higher vid,
Have a better day than yesterday!
"There are two ways of spreading light: To be the candle or the mirror that reflects it."
- Edith Wharton
IllumiGnostic
11:38 AM
I don’t think Michael Moore matters much these days
Victor Gruber
1:21 PM
i never know, maybe some of the cattle are meant to get something from him. They might still be at his level. Just finished your part 1 vid. I won't type up the part 2, promise :].
laughdispenser.blogspot.com/p/higherself.html
Thanks again for sharing so much.
Victor Gruber
11:15 PM
Re: Ashburn i mentioned before. for some weird reason, according to g-anal, my blog has more visits from Ashburn than San Antonio even. I know that's a suburb of the lion's den. Like I asked, what goes on in Ashburn? Why is my blog still up? I have some hunches."
Victor Gruber
11:25 PM
this is the page the Ashburn visits are always reading: https://laughdispenser.blogspot.com/p/raquel.html
I am still waiting for a response from the last text bomb I sent him, hehe. Let's see if anything happens. I even mention Ashburn, which still, to this day is the town with most views on my blog. Umm, Ashburn is a suburb of the devil's lair, hehe.
I am not skeered!
10:19pm I need to include the part I was typing up about how if you don't decide who you are, someone else will decide for you.
Tita: Today is the last day of 2023! I have been having some communication with a cousin Alvaro, my mom's sister's son. He was close to my family growing up. He recently contacted me in Facebook telling me he wanted to get a hold of my brothers. A couple of days I told him, "Sure, with pleasure. Give me a couple of days." Anyway, that's important in a little bit. That's the preface to Moses.
So today, I got up, I was really talkative, very social, with Victor. I just wanted to come give him a big kiss, actually, that was my purpose, but he started talking about Illumignostic, I got kind of sucked into his vortex of what he has been focusing on for about a week, this cool guy on Odysee that we are listening to.
He seems to be a vey traumatized gringo. He goes on at very quality great length about what he feels are the ills of society. He has a lot of venting that he's doing. I got into a conversation with Victor about that and then I was going to chant. I waved my wands, my incense that I do before every time I chant. That's all part of the ritual yogis do when the sun comes up.
Usually I start in the living room, then do the sunroom, but since energy works in a spiral I decided this time to do the kitchen first, and then go around in a spiral, do all the bedrooms and then I finish up with Victor.
When I came to see Victor we realized that he didn't have a working voice recorder because I had taken out the batteries for our various flashlights(actually, before I left to my mom's I stole all the AAA batteries for my recorder). So I went and bought some more.
This is our story, it's not what we want so share with the world. I might redact it, I don't want everything shared verbatim. A lot of things need to be condensed. This is for us, this is personal. This is family-related.
Victor: Sorry, there is no such thing with me. :]
As I was saying about Moses, I went to his house with his Nirdosh smokes and did Juan's family doorknock. I didn't ring the doorbell like I normally do. I noticed that his was the only truck there, the gold SUV and that his cuntrag wife wasn't there.
I knocked and almost immediately I heard rustling and almost immediately he opens the door and just kind of stood there. I noticed right away that he was really wrinkled. Moi is looking his age. He is almost seventy years old, 67. He is really super-wrinkled. He answers the door and when he notices it's me, I had a little bounce in my step. I had a nice run to the stores earlier.
I wasn't expecting him to invite me in, but since I was so bouncy he assumed I wanted to come in and put his hand in front of me and said in Spanish sternly, "No, no hestamos hablando." I said, "I know, but Alvaro is looking for you. Him and I talk on Facebook and he asked me for your phone number. It has been so long I am not even sure I have it or if it has changed. Can I get it/give it to him? Or, he gave me his number, do you want it?"
He said yes, to leave it there. I did and then told him I had old photos of his from his childhood and he told me to leave them there too.
Victor: You should have told him that you were going to throw them away unless he came and got them.
Tita: I should have, but I told him no, that I was going to keep them for myself, but that I would convert them to digital form and give him copies.
He repeated, "We are not talking." But, he at least gave my knuckles. I told him, "Okay bro, te quiero."
So I came home to Victor and told him, "I don't know how I feel about my brother anymore, because honestly, with that kind of attitude, and I know they are pissed, I now kind of want to stay away. I kind of am enjoying staying away and I enjoy him knowing that I have all of his handwritten letters to our dad.
Because everything is at my discretion, guess what, I am keeping them.
Victor: Maybe they can help us start the fireplace some day, lol!
Tita: Yes, and I am thinking because we are not talking, because we have an attorney, and how Jamal is an attorney, what if I conveniently "lose" them? Him and his stupid cunt wife are scaredy-cats. He and his daughter Shanteequa got the vaccine like fools. They know that I do rituals here to protect the house. I created a crystal grid on the floors before I met Victor.
Decades ago I had tried making a grid at the duplex, and my brother was adamant that he didn't believe in it. I told him that he didn't have to believe in it for it to help him. He was all, "But what if the tenants notice?" I said, "Let them! The point is to protect the house from thieves, and avoid the gang shootings and violence that are prevalent in the ghetto." I asked him if he wanted to help me, since we were in charge of the house. He said no.
So they know I do this stuff. I am also sure they stole some items from my house. I am pretty sure that they are the ones that tried to break into the window from the backyard. Thank you, dual-paned glass. Thank you, my foresight in insisting that my parents to get them, they would have busted in while Victor and I were in Mount Shasta.
These guys are sneaky and devious. I'm pretty sure Pink stole a planter and dug out a hydrangea bush that had been there for thirty years probably thinking it was going to die anyway. I am pretty sure they took the benches that were on the front porch too.
Therefore, now, not only do I have zero obligation to them, but I am going to follow my husband's advice, which is to keep the stuff, burn it, do something with it, or lock it away somewhere, so when they come a-knocking, if they ever do I will say, "Umm, Dad left me these things at my discretion. I was nice enough to tell you about them, but they are gone now.
I could easily say that, and I may, we'll see. They are my memories and I get to do whatever I want with them.
10:31pm As far as my brother down the street, I am remembering last time I actually saw his face and spoke to him. We had a real conversation twice. Since we have been back from Mount Shaster, it was the one time when Victor and I went to do ayahuasca in February of 2021, we did ayahuasca in San Jose where we did Kambo and ayahuasca with Halfyear and Modicum Cordova.
On our way back we saw him in his driveway and we said hello. That was a nice interaction, we said hello, we hadn't seen him. Another time we saw him we were about to go to ayahuasca in Mount Shasta, the last time we went to the mountain was for my ayahuasca ceremony. November 2021. The same year we saw him in November I left him a gift. I left some Nirdosh cigarettes for him. His bitch wife refused them and got angry and belligerent. I backed away looking at her and headed to the car after I got back the cigarettes.
As our luck would have it the car wouldn't start and we had to call Triple A. They came soon and towed the car to our house. All of a sudden Manolo, a cousin of mine that Dad gifted him his Mercedes to shows up to his house, and escorts him out of the door. I was worried if he was a having a nervous breakdown, why did he have to be escorted? It's sad that my brother doesn't want to see my face. That was November 2021.
We also saw him some time this year when we were having issues with the tenants that moved out and stiffed me, the deadbeat tenants. Also, this is around the time that Victor did his Mariachi Bomb and he received a stack of CD's along with Dad's pictures of him dead in the hospital, from the tenants!
That was yet another instance where Victor and I introduced ourselves, reminding them I was still alive and kicking.
We were proud of ourselves for his message to go right to the desired readers. He didn't ask for these pictures, neither did my brother, but here they are.
That's where we are at with Moses.
Oh yeah, I forgot. The only reason I made that entry is because I found a bracelet on the ground that said YOU WIN. I just picked it up and took a picture of it.
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