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Note 7-6-23: For the first three months or so this was the main page of my blog. I even experimented with some pretty blunt stuff(pun intended) I'll explain later.
I finally decided to divide it up better so people wouldn't have to read through boring stuff to get to the fruit of my blog. I am hoping if people appreciate the jokes and puns then maybe some day when they have nothing else to do they'll delve into my other stuff, Laughter is only one angle of mine. I have others.
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Need a real and good distraction? Here you go. A feel-good, ad-free, educational healing blog that will put a smile on your face as well as open your eyes. Insanely interesting and completely uncensored and raw. Parental discretion strongly advised.
IF YOU HAVE BEEN DEPRESSED BECAUSE OF ALL THIS COVID FRAUD, OR FROM ALL THE OTHER DEADLY ACTIONS THE PUSSY BANKERS HAVE BEEN DOING TO US(like Ohio) FOR GENERATIONS, AND CONTEMPLATING SUICIDE, PLEASE DON'T! THINGS ARE ABOUT TO GET WAY BETTER FOR EVERY SINGLE PERSON IN OUR WORLD. PLEASE HOLD ON JUST A LITTLE BIT LONGER! I AM GIFTING HUMANITY A BIG HEAPING HELPING OF HOPE.
TELL YOUR FRIENDS! START CHAIN LETTERS! BILLBOARDS ON THE HIGHWAY! EVERY CONCEIVABLE WAY! THERE IS NO BETTER WORD TO SPREAD!(Sorry for all that yelling. I know it's a bit fringe. You will understand why as soon as a would-be suicider thanks me on my guestbook. I feel it's important enough to start with. Maybe someone needs to see it. Plus, this should make you curious enough to keep reading. Please let me know of any typos. I want this blog to be perfect.)
Don't believe me? Read on and see for yourself. It's not religious, I promise.
This is something that has never been attempted by anyone else. I am the very first person to actually do this. A one-man organization, I AM. To all of you gonzo-journalists out there,eat your hearts out.
I don't deny being crazy. Don't you have to be crazy to make a difference, these days? Hell, that's how it's always been. Sane = same. Insane = different. Duh. This blog is all sorts of crazy-good.
If you don't want to read any different, err I mean crazy-talk I suggest you stop reading and close out my blog right now.
I know you do though, Everyone at least secretly loves crazy-talk.
If, I mean since you do want to read something different, boy, do I have a feast for you.
Whoa, that sounded like a subliminal message, I'm going to decrease font size, hehe.
This is my simple and inexpensive, bear-bones attempt at chilling the world out, ad-free, umm, wait, let me add: that anyone can emulate and receive the same results with, if not better. Yeah, that's the ticket.
Follow me, please.
I've devised a plan with such beautiful simplicity that it's going to be unstoppable, by any means. Even if they take me out, thanks to the permanence of the internet. You can't stop bytes!
Wait, let me rephrase.
Especially, if they take me out. If I get killed for all of this help I'm trying to give I take great comfort in knowing that my stuff is already permanently on the internet. My assassination would blow the lid off of this permanent blog. Everybody would want to read EVERYTHING the guy who died for the world wrote. If not just to see if they thought I deserved death or not.
There wouldn't be a more interesting true story in existence. One life to save trillions? I'd die one happy man.
Who knows? I might even come back. :)
Nothing can stop anything that's this good.
This blog WILL end up being The Better Book.
The update we've all been waiting for.
It's finally here. OMG! The picture when you click lawyers looks JUST LIKE BJ! SPITTING IMAGE!
I rather be dead than live in the world the bankers(and lawyers) are planning for us, anyway. So no big whoop. Worth it to me, this is. I'll go kamikaze with this if I have to. I've almost died twice, I have nothing left to lose. You know what they say that's another word for, right?
Do the thing you fear and the death of fear is certain!
To be completely honest with you. That's why I still smoke cigarettes and don't plan to quit. Why strive to avoid their long-kill agenda when they plan to execute most all of us soon, anyway? Regardless of how well we take care of our bodies(If excuses were money I would be rich). I smoke American Spirit's Organic tobacco in the turquoise pouch. I know there's no such thing as a safe cigarette, but here's hoping it's really organic and better for me than Marlboro's. Actually, I've heard it's the strongest tobacco sold on the market. I don't know. Life is a gamble. Smoke them if you got them! Don't worry, be happy.
Bring it on, pussies. I am insanely well-protected. I've got God on my side.
Oh wait, hold on. My blog isn't religious, remember? My bad.
What I meant to say is I've got LOVE on my side. I don't believe in god. I believe in LOVE. Everybody's got it in them and it's all the same LOVE! No, god is not LOVE. God is the simple personification of LOVE. God pretends to be LOVE. LOVE IS NOT A PERSON! LOVE JUST IS, EVERYWHERE! No more questions. Keep things simple.
God's a trick(ass-hoe). I think god and the devil are in cahoots against us all. I think they serve as controlled opposition for each other, if that makes any sense. One needs the other to exist. God will never vanquish the devil. He doesn't like being bored so god keeps evil around just to play and amuse himself with. God and the devil are one in the same. Christians worship the devil and they don't even know it. Somebody's gotta tell them how they have been deceived, just like it says in their outdated book they hold so dear.
NOTHING PISSES ME OFF MORE THAN CHRISTIANS WHO BELIEVE IN GOD(SATAN) AND NOT LOVE! LIKE THIS IGNORANT FRIEND NAMED RAQUEL I MADE MONTHS AGO WHEN I WAS CALLING RANDOM SAN ANTONIO NUMBERS AND SEEING WHO WOULD ACCEPT MY BLOG. I WAS TELEMARKERING FOR FREE. "It's not religious, I promise!" :P
“It's easier to fool people than to convince them that they have been fooled.”
― Mark Twain
Are you a slave to the illusion?
Just look at how we live in a world where wrong has right-of-way(like trying to normalize pedophilia and transgenderism). That isn't the natural way we really are. Why can't we learn better already and stop doing this shit? What is wrong with us?
Fuck that world. Fuck that hierarchy. What kind of loving god would allow such misery and depravity to exist?
It's all a big sham, religion. A big crock of shit. Always has been.
LOVE is what's real and is about to make a tremendously strong comeback. It shall reign over all evil and all will be good for everybody soon. I have been manifesting this since the turn of the century and with the creation of this blog, fruition, at last!
Praise LOVE, it's all we need.
I am a child of LOVE, not god.
LOVE is The Creator. We are all made of LOVE, by LOVE..
Religion is division! There's only ONE LOVE!
I am very pleased you have made it this far and are still paying attention and hopefully more interested. Please continue. I won't let you down.
I suggest you look away and take a smoke break for about ten minutes before you read on. If you don't smoke go get a yummy beverage and relax and get comfortable. Get ready to take in some really good information you will never get in any school(Go on, now. Get away from this screen for a bit.).
Except the school of reality, where knowledge is free, like it should be. It's the only school where you will learn nothing but the truth. Don't you want to know the truth?
You should enroll. Free tuition.
What's stopping you from learning things on your own?
They call them factory schools for a reason. I thought we were past the industrial age already. I've learned better without going to college at all. Schools only hold us back.
"Somewhere between the ages of 11 and 15, the average child begins to suffer from an atrophy, the paralysis of curiosity and the suspension of the power to observe. The trouble I should judge to lie with the schools." - THOMAS EDISON
“Education is what remains after one has forgotten everything he learned in school. It is a miracle that curiosity survives formal education. ”
– Albert Einstein
College is slave-training!
Anyway, I hope you are hungry for entertainment. I have some good eatin' for ya. It won't cost you a thing except for the time you want to give. That's it. I just love to share. But only if you are willing to pay attention. Are you? Please do, this is important stuff, not to mention, funny.
Welcome to the laugh dispenser. I want everybody to have as many of these laughs as you want. Get your fill. Get your chill on. The dispenser is packed to the brim. It's overflowing. There's plenty here and WAY more from where they came from, so more to come, indefinitely.
Finally! Unfiltered, uncensored comedy you would never see on television, ever. For free! Who in their right mind would pass this up? Everybody loves to laugh, right?
Nothing on TV is real. If you do, please stop watching television. They don't call it programming for nuthin'.
I know, there's plenty of online comedy in existence, but this comedy is way more unique than you know. I'm about to show you though. I think my stuff will make you laugh harder than most of those YouTubers, and I do it all with no sponsorship whatsoever.
I guarantee you won't leave this blog without at least cracking a smile. If you don't I'll make it up to you somehow.
Here's some hours of fun, enjoy. My gift, to you.
(lmfao 2.0 by stu)
Cute(G-rated) 109
Puns 1 350
Puns 2 150
Jokes 1 248
Jokes 2 150
Chuck Norris 184
Wife 40
Sexist 29
Racist 54
I'm lacking in the following categories. Help me fill them, please.
Weed 11
Club 6
Covid 3
Innuendo 3
Lawyer 6
Bar 7
Marriage 8
Longer story jokes Added 40 more 5-7-23
Warning, the following jokes and puns are not suitable for sensitive individuals. Little kids shouldn't read them. They are not cute, trust me. Consider yourself warned. Actually, I'm just kidding. I want everyone to know them and get used to them. They are just harmless words. There's a charm about the forbidden that makes it strangely desirable. (ygolohcysp esrever)
CLICK HERE AND READ before you click below.
Total Jokes: 1545
Good stuff I found about loosh.
Hi again everyone,
Just to let you know, none of the jokes or puns on this blog were written by me. I copied every single one of them. I am beholden to the CL 1257 joke forum. ALL of this content originated there. The laughs are just there for the taking. Thank you for existing and enabling me. 1257 is in essence my bread and butter. :]
I think I'm sitting on a laugh mine and it's about to blow.
I've had such a great reaction to my humor lately on IRC. IRC means Internet Relay Chat. It's a free global chat service that's been around since the birth of the web. You can chat with people all over the world in real time. Look it up, if you want.
I have a captive audience in the chat rooms because I am funny, thus interesting. Due to my quality puns chat rooms immediately understand how it would be their loss to not have a spirit-lifting joker in their midst. How many other channels have a funny human joke bot to spark conversation?
(To everyone in #UFOs. Thanks for accepting me until you didn't. Now I am in #ftpwarez. There I can spam for peace all day long. And they love my jokes, your loss. Update 3-24, the punks in #ftpwarez just perma banned me from the entire Undernet. Good though. I was just testing them. Next. There's plenty of IRC networks. There is no such thing as bad publicity! I just want them to remember.)
Also thanks to you people in the CL forums. Love your memes, Don(1260). But please, stop posting random pornography. People go to your forum to laugh, not for tits and ass. I'm sure there's smutty porn forums too. Go post those pics in there. The porn lowers your forum's vibration. Please heed this suggestion. It makes the forum not as funny as it could be.
I used to chat on IRC almost two decades ago, back when I was a warez leech. I just recently thought to check if there was an Android app. After trying a lot that didn't I found one that worked, Core.
Chatting on IRC again has been a total blast from the past. All the old chat commands came back to me. I jumped online and asked randomly about posting a simple text website and was blessed with the Blogger suggestion. Duh, I thought. I should have done this years ago, sorry, but at least I'm doing it now.
Cool, I've got a website like Cobra's now. Let's see if I can get more views than him. I think if Cobra truly works for the light he needs to step into it and reveal his identity already. That would give him and all of his hopium way more credibility. Until that happens I think he's controlled opposition.
What? We're all supposed to trust a guy and his underlings(like Fag Potter who's milking the lies to sell shit)who won't even tell us who he actually is? What's your full name, Cobra? Why don't you tell everyone who you are? What are you afraid of? Where were you born?
We all want to know already. I don't trust Cobra and neither should you. Lightworker, my ass. Do something already.
Cobra doesn't even let people hear his real voice. It's always scrambled in his bullshit interviews.
SPACE IS FAKE, EVERYONE! Look into it.
I want nothing more than to help infuse mirth into this world of just the opposite. If this is one way of doing it, costs me very little and I keep getting better at it, why would I ever stop telling my jokes and puns, freely? I know, they're not really mine, but they're worth copying. Making people happy is priceless.
I'm curious to see how infectious this will be, if at all. Maybe this idea will spawn comedians all over our flat earth! Haha! Everywhere!
Against the assault of laughter nothing can stand!
Ok, now I'm going to conduct an eggs spearmint. They say it's all a number's game. I am going to demonstrate this known fact.
If you appreciate me bringing a smile to your face, or if you've had a terrible day and my collection made you feel better, and you'd like to show me some gratitude for all of this organizing I've done voluntarily for this blog to exist, I do accept donations. I just don't expect them. I love surprises.
You will never see any banners advertising anything on this blog. No automatic donate buttons. Not even one of those lame buy-me-a-cup-of coffee bullshits. That's always seemed like internet pan-handling to me, pocket-change, big whoop. I'm paying it forward with my jokes. So hook a brother up. Smoke a brother out. :]
If you want to help me live my dream and give me a gift in return, email me and we can figure something out. I only ask for what you can spare. I don't expect much.
I don't trust gifting through Paypal and it's way too impersonal. I don't really trust emails either, but I'll take my chances.
"There's nothing like a dream to create the future!"
- Victor Hugo
"An invasion of armies can be resisted, but not at idea whose time has come."
- Victor Hugo
"Only those who attempt the absurd will achieve the impossible."
- M.C. Escher
My email is HAVETHESEJOKES@gmail.com.
I finally posted this blog on March 13th. Who will be first to hook me up and with what? That individual will have major bragging rights and be able to tell people, "Yeah, I was the very first person to donate to Victor, because he's right about everything he proclaims and without the laughter he helps bring everybody, most of us are going to die soon."
I am the best investment of all time. I'll make it so everybody receives a return on this venture of mine. Even those banker pussies. There will be enough to go around and around and around for everyone.
Everybody wins!
In 2003 a Native American Mandan shaman I "accidentally" met told me that Great Sprits told her that I, Victor Antonio was a beam of light for others to follow, that I was the one who would bring balance to our world, and that I was a child of LOVE. I shit you knot.
I'm not kidding, those words came out of her mouth. Even if she was lying to me, wouldn't that make this story really compelling, dramatically-interesting and so trustworthy that the majority of humanity would most definitely want to know about it? I don't know about that last sentence. Do you think I worded it right? Do you get my drift?
Do you guys understand manifestation at all? I am attempting, accomplishing the world's most-needed balancing act.
With a surplus of money, not only will I meet my minimal needs, I will likewise be generous with it and hook people up myself. Tons more than I already do, and that's a hell of a lot. I will have so much fun. Not to mention, I could dedicate so much more time to forcing this blog down people's throats because it tastes so good and I love to share food. :]
The only debt I have is $2k of a CC. I'd love to stop paying that. Then I would be free and clear.
I would also be so stoked to help my mom and siblings. They and everybody else probably thought I would never amount to anything.
Imagine, for example, I could gather a group to tell jokes and stories to and at the end, I will say, "Thanks for listening, here's $20 each if you'll tell as many people as you can about my new joke blog."
Can you say VIRAL? Greased lightning. Can't you just imagine the potential?
Now you probably think I'm just a fraud and only trying to make money for myself with this project, but what if I'm the real-deal? Aren't I and this grandiose idea of mine worth the risk? Who else is doing something like this voluntarily?
What's life without a little risk, anyway, except boring?
Enable me, please. It's in everybody's best interest that I live up to my name with this blog. Help prove this monumental experiment right. Because it damn well is and I've got plenty of proof here.
Everybody gets credit with me. Please help if you are able.
Can you think of a better cause to support?
Let's see how long it takes. I will let you all know the results of my experiment.
My girl is still doubtful I can pull this off. She told me, "As soon as you get hooked up by anyone because of your blog, I'll jump on your bandwagon fully." I told her, "Just you wait, baby. Good things come."
Hopefully a lot of people have the same exact attitude as her.
I know I say my site is ad-free, but I guess that was one. Nobody's perfect.
There's always a plug, right? :P
How you can help me without giving me even a nickel.
Also, feel free to contribute to my collection of jokes. Only good ones allowed, though. I've become quite a joke-snob as you can imagine.
What could possibly be better than a massive quality joke dump? The coming new jokes! Expect tons more.
My ultimate goal, my "ulterior-motive" with these jokes, my practice of subversion:
People of all races, sexes, colors and creeds need to sit down together with these jokes, light up some dank weed and pass it all around and laugh your asses off together. They didn't call them peace pipes for nothin'!
We need to remember we are all in the same family and due to the illusion of separation we are on the verge of a mass die-off, like billions of people, if some drastic steps aren't taken.
We are about to take those hilarious steps. Get ready. Any moment now.
Let's forget about our differences, unite in solidarity and overthrow these evil bankers who want most of us dead and are working harder than ever to make that so(Ohio).
There are more of us than there are of them! Just sit back and imagine my movement with the backing of billions of people.
Refresh your imagination!
The kids are taking over soon! Babylon shall fall! It's their world, after all.
Success may be a number's game, but money doesn't have to count! (pun intended)
Let's congregate and have some great laughs together, even if it's at each other's expense. It's still funny if you don't take it personally(one of the four agreements). Just laugh it off.
HA!
WORLD PEACE THROUGH LAUGHTER(and marijuana)!
I really hope this helps. Anything is possible and you have to start somewhere. I started around 2000, but that's a future blog post. It's not time to unleash that stupendously-interesting story just yet. This is not my first volunteer project. I've done quite a few. Tip of the iceberg, actually. More details soon. It will be worth the wait.
EVERYBODY NEEDS TO READ THIS BOOK! THE SECRET IS OUT! added 5-12-23
Daily Captain's logs I'll try my hardest to remain current unless I have to stay quiet, strategically. I have absolutely nothing better to do.
March 23
Ok, I guess now is as good a time as any. Here you go.
My old mission which, with this subversive blog, is now still-ongoing. After all these years, I've punched back in.
I am an undercover agent of change!
When I first moved to Weed, CA in 2012(Of all places, right) I kept walking past the dirty creek in the middle of town and I hated the eye-sore. So I jumped right in cleaning it up. Every cigarette butt, every shard of glass, the weeds were taller than me and you couldn't see the creek anymore, I made it perfect. A nice place where children could play. You have to be proud of where you live!
Let's turn the tide and yell surprise!
To all you millennials, it's time to step up! Let's take the power back!
I am a joking, walking, talking self-fulfilling prophecy.
-Victor Antonio
Wish me luck!
Have me in your prayers, please!
My name ain't Victor for nuthin'!
Our world will soon be balanced finally.
*** After much formatting I finally felt my blog was ready on Monday the 13th of March. Yesterday, the 14th I texted my older sister with a link to my brand spanking new blog. She glanced it over and replied with:
"I'm so glad you're doing this. You have no idea how inspiring this is to me and my own personal growth. I admire you! ❤️🤗"
I love you too, sis!
MAYBE THIS WILL CONVINCE EVERYONE. This is my entire MONTH-LONG experience when I went through FLORIDA in 2008. Behold the welcome I received EVERYWHERE I went in Florida. I even get laid. The pictures won't work. I will add them later LOVE willing.
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